Chapter 20
Tank
Boiler's eyes were full of concern. He had every right to be worried, but I didn't want him getting tangled up in my mess. Jeff was my problem, my past. Boiler had enough to deal with without my baggage dragging him down.
"I'm handling it," I said, trying to sound more confident than I felt.
Boiler didn't look convinced. "I know you can handle yourself, Tank, but this guy... He's not gonna back off easily."
I sighed, running my palm through my hair. "I know. But I can't have you getting involved. It's bad enough he's making threats."
Boiler's brow furrowed. "What kind of threats?"
I hesitated, not wanting to worry him more than necessary. Jeff had been relentless since I left him, calling, texting, showing up unannounced.
His threats seemed empty for now, but I knew Jeff. Jeff was more than just my ex. He was a ticking time bomb. Not a biker anymore, he was a member of a dangerous paramilitary group. He lived like the apocalypse was tomorrow, stockpiling weapons and hoarding supplies in his underground bunker. His anger problem was legendary, an explosive temper that turned even the slightest provocation into a violent outburst.
With a twisted sense of control and a penchant for meticulous planning. He was the kind of man who thrived on fear, and he knew exactly how to use it to his advantage. And he would do anything to reassert that control over me. But the Hell on Heelz kept me safe. I didn't need Boiler to know these specifics. Not yet. It made me feel like a damsel in distress, and I hated it.
"He's just being an asshole," I said, trying to downplay it. "Calling me names, saying I'll regret leaving. The usual shit."
Boiler's jaw tightened, his hands clenching into fists.
"Boiler, please. I can handle this. I've dealt with worse.”
"If he comes near you again, he's dead."
"Just leave,” I said, feeling defeated.
"Fine. But I'm here if you need me."
Waking up the next morning, even alone, the events of the past few weeks played out in my mind like a movie reel. The fights, the passion, the declarations of love. It had been surreal, but it was real. And despite everything, I felt... happy. Until he tried to tell me what to do. Then I retreated inward, wanting to lash out. Feeling panicked, I knew Boiler and I had something special. And I might’ve just ruined it.
As the morning sun streamed through my window, reality set in. I knew I needed to apologize to Boiler for the way I handled things with Jeff. I hadn’t told him I was still technically married. I didn’t want any more secrets or misunderstandings between us. With that thought in mind, I decided to head over to the Slayers’ clubhouse.
I showered, threw on my favorite jeans and my leather cut over my low-cut top and hopped on my bike. The breeze in my hair helped me think straight as I made my way across town. His clubhouse, kindly called the Lair, was a familiar sight, a place that had once been off-limits but had become a significant part of my life the last few weeks.
Pulling up to the Lair, I could feel my nerves kicking in. What if Boiler was still angry? What if he didn’t want to see me? Shaking off the doubts, I parked my Harley beside the mens’ and walked toward the entrance. It wasn’t like me to apologize, so I practiced under my breath.
Stepping inside, the filth hit me right away. Years of it marinating on every surface. The Slayers could use a woman’s touch. But I wasn’t about to be that woman. Fuck they needed dial-a-maid. And that was why I preferred to hang out at the Roost. Slayers were lounging around, sharing stories, and planning their next ride. Seeing me had apparently become second nature.
No longer an enemy, I blended in. Was ignored as I sidled through. Therefore, no one announced me, or made any fuss. I was enjoying it until I spotted Boiler in the corner. He didn’t know I’d walked in. He was talking to a woman. My heart dropped to my stomach.
The whore was strung out, her clothes barely covering her. She looked like she hadn’t slept in days, her eyes wild and unfocused. Boiler was handing her a wad of cash, and she reached up to kiss him on the cheek. My stomach twisted at the sight.
Before I could move, I overheard a conversation nearby. "I don't know why Boiler is still fooling with that woman. She's nothing but a druggie and a hoe," one guy said, shaking his head.
"Yeah, but he does it all for love," another answered. "It's messed up. But that's Boiler for you, always trying to save everyone."
The words hit me like a sledgehammer. Love? Was he still in love with this woman? My heart pounded in my chest, and I felt like I couldn't breathe. I didn't even think and just ran out of the clubhouse, my mind going crazy.
Back on my bike, I sped off, the roar of the engine barely drowning out the chaos in my head. Had I been a fool to think that Boiler and I had something real? Was I just another notch in his belt, another person he was trying to save? The doubts gnawed at me, eating away at the happiness I had felt just hours earlier.
I didn’t stop until I reached the outskirts of town. Pulling over, I let out a scream of frustration, the sound lost in the wind. How could I have been so stupid? I should have known better than to trust a man with a past as complicated as Boiler's. Ex-military probably had women tucked away all over like Jeff did.
My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I saw his name flashing on the screen, Boiler calling. I couldn’t bring myself to answer. Not after what I had just seen. Ignoring the call, I sat there, my world spinning.
I spent the rest of the day avoiding his calls and texts. Every time my phone buzzed, it felt like a knife twisting in my gut. I couldn’t face him, not yet. I needed time to think, to figure out what the hell I was going to do.
By evening, I found myself at Doghouse Delights, my little sanctuary away from the chaos. I locked the door behind me and sank into a chair, my mind replaying the events of the day over and over. I had to make a decision. Was I going to approach Boiler, demand answers, or was I going to walk away from this before it could hurt me anymore?
Pixie showed up later, her cheerful demeanor worsening my somber mood. "Hey, Tank! What's up? You look like you've seen a ghost."
I forced a smile, not ready to unload everything on her just yet. "Just a rough day, Pix. Needed some time to think."
She eyed me suspiciously but didn’t press. "Well, if you need to talk, you know where to find me.” She pointed to next-door. “And if you need to kick someone's ass, I’m always up for that too."
I chuckled despite myself. "Thanks, Pixie. I’ll keep that in mind."
The next couple days were a blur of work and sleepless nights. Boiler’s calls and texts went unanswered, each one a reminder of the hurt I was trying to outrun. I threw myself into my work, baking dog treats and managing the shop with a single-minded determination. Anything to keep my mind off him.
But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t shake the image of him with that woman. The way he had looked at her, the tenderness in his eyes. Was that the same way he looked at me? Or was I just another lost cause he was trying to save?
One evening, as I was closing up the shop, Pixie stopped by again. "Tank, you can't keep avoiding this. You need to talk to him."
“Pix, he knows where I am.”
“So, he’s not barging in. Do you want him to?”
Rolling my eyes, I was honest. “I just don’t know.” I sighed, knowing she was right. "I just... I don’t know what to say, Pix. I saw him with a woman, and it broke me. How do I confront him about that?"
"By being honest," she said, her voice gentle but firm. "You care about him, right? Then you owe it to both of you to talk this out. Maybe there's more to the story than you think."
I nodded in agreement. I had to face this, no matter how painful it might be. "You're right, Pixie. I'll talk to him."
The next day, I gathered my courage to head to the Lair.