Chapter 15 – Shay
Chapter Fifteen
Shay
Itell Cody that I won’t be able to sleep unless I have Caleb next to me, but it’s an excuse to stay out of my husband’s bed tonight.
I don’t want to talk about what I saw Cody do.
I won’t be able to get the pictures out of my head.
I’ve seen violence in my life and experienced a share of it, but it’s nothing like watching a man’s head explode right in front of you. I have to act normal in front of Caleb.
I’ve had to fake feeling okay in front of him before, but I hate having to stuff my feelings.
By the time I get into bed, my limbs feel heavy and I want to sleep so badly, but I just can’t.
When my lids flutter shut, I hear the gunshots.
I feel the warm blood splattering across my chest with a heaviness that only means it wasn’t just blood.
Cody killed two men right in front of me and he would have killed a third.
He promises this won’t come back to haunt us, but how?
Why is this man talking like he’s killed before?
Oske told me that Cody could protect me, but she never mentioned that he would be so incredibly comfortable with felony murder.
Tonight, I want to be alone because I don’t want to sleep next to someone who can take a life like that so easily.
I’ve been around dangerous men before. I should have known that Cody’s nice white-boy smile and good looks were just an illusion.
He’s a terrifying killer and I can’t let myself get comfortable around him again. It’s never going to happen for me.
I thought I would have a chance at love here, that maybe Cody and I were getting close to each other.
He never even explained who those men were or if we’re really safe here.
I dragged my son out to the middle of nowhere trying to avoid violence and now I have to wonder – what the hell did I walk into?
Do I have to run again? This could really end with me escaping.
I should have been smart enough to realize that this isn’t happily ever after.
I have the answers that I always wanted – why would a man who looks like Cody Hollingsworth sign up for an arranged marriage?
His enormous dick was just one explanation but this makes more sense.
He’s a psychopath. He kills people. He wants a woman who he doesn’t think can get away.
The romance between us feels… faked.
The morning after Cody’s double homicide, I stay in bed as long as possible, letting Caleb watch cartoons until he gets too hungry and we have to leave the safety of our bedroom.
Putting in all that effort to avoid Cody proves to be entirely useless.
He’s gone. Kylie looks happy to see me, and I am in mommy mode, so my emotions don’t matter until Caleb gets breakfast.
“Cody might be gone for another three days. He wanted to say goodbye but I convinced him to let you sleep.”
“Thanks. I needed it.”
We have breakfast. The house is quiet without Cody, even with Caleb getting excited over his food.
I don’t know what the rest of my day will look like.
I don’t know Kylie very well and while I trusted her with Cody around…
now I’m alone here with all these horrible images in my head and I don’t trust anyone.
The rest of the day is so normal that I almost think I imagined our failed date night. That might be the biggest sign that romance isn’t meant to happen between us. I’m not meant for love – just hardship. What happened yesterday was proof of that.
In the evening, I’m downstairs with Caleb watching K-Pop Demon Hunters on Netflix.
I don’t get the appeal, honestly, but he loves it.
Halfway through the movie, Kylie comes downstairs dressed up like she’s going to a nightclub.
It’s noticeable because we’re in the middle of nowhere and she looks like a character in Sex And The City.
The heels click loudly as Kylie walks towards the front door.
I don’t think I have the authority to tell her what to do, but I also know she’s supposed to stay here…
“Are you going out?” I ask, trying to sound casual.
Kylie looks at me nervously and smiles. “Only for an hour. A friend of mine drove out to see me.”
“See you later,” I respond, my heart pounding. Something feels wrong about this, but I don’t know what. Kylie smiles at me. It’s a big smile.
“Later.”
I put Caleb down for a nap and I’m suddenly alone in the house for the first time since the attack.
I know we have a security system in place and Cody promised me that nobody would hurt me.
I believe that. I’m just… not built for his life.
I thought marrying this man would mean leaving pain and suffering behind.
Instead…
I keep seeing that head exploding in front of me. I can’t get the image out of my head.
I want to let it go.
I still can’t sleep.
I still can’t let it go.
I’m married to a gangster – and I didn’t get the truth. I want answers… Or I think I want a divorce.