Chapter 18 – Shay
Chapter Eighteen
Shay
Cody: I’ll be there in two hours.
Kylie never came back and when I messaged her, she said that she spoke to Cody about it and Cody confirmed.
He also confirmed his return, two hours after I put Caleb to bed.
I have my speech mentally drafted to tell Cody that we’re getting divorced.
I can’t have Caleb getting shot. I feel so torn up about my feelings, but this isn’t about my emotions.
It’s about Caleb and the way I could have died and left my son without a mother if that guy had aimed at me instead of someone else.
I was too close to the line of fire and considering what that would mean for Caleb, I absolutely hate the thought.
I wait right in the entryway for Cody when I hear the lights from Cody’s big truck.
I feel sick to my stomach that he didn’t take the bike, because I have a sick suspicion that he had chopped up bodies in the back of that truck.
I know I’m probably overthinking it, but my stomach hurts to think of Cody doing something so brutal.
He pushes the front door open and I watch his face transform into pure joy when he sees me. And I know that I’m about to kill his hopes, which breaks my heart.
“Hello, baby,” Cody says. “Tired?”
I wish that I was just tired. I press my back against the wall and look away from him.
“No. I’m fine.”
Cody approaches me and tilts my chin up so I’m looking at him. His finger holds my head in place, so I can’t avoid his gaze. He looks so possessive and looking him in the eye should scare me, especially because of what I watched him do.
“Why do you look so far away?” Cody murmurs, keeping my head in place as he runs his thumb over my lips.
Looking at him like this, fear rises again. But I have to protect Caleb.
“I want a divorce.”
Cody’s hand drops away. He scowls.
“What?”
“I need a divorce.”
“Tough tits.”
It’s my turn to express confusion. “What?”
“I don’t believe in divorce.”
“You’re going to get me and my son killed,” I hiss at Cody.
How can he be so selfish? We went out on one little date and it ended in a double homicide.
I still don’t know what happened to his sister Kylie after that and I’m not convinced that we’re safe just because Cody took a road trip with bodies in the back of his truck.
“What’s gotten into you?”
“Common sense.”
“If you had common sense, you would get your ass into my bed,” he says. “You’re not going anywhere.”
He doesn’t sound bothered or worried about my announcement. Instead of scaring me, Cody pisses me off this time.
“You’re not taking me seriously.”
“I love you and I love Caleb and I’m not letting you go, Shay.”
“You don’t love me.”
“You don’t tell me what I feel,” he says, his voice raising with every word until Cody’s chest heaves with visible anger.
The same anger I saw before he calmly leveled a pistol at a man’s head and blew his head off right in front of me.
This man knew exactly how dangerous he was and he still got me to marry him. He still put my son in danger.
“If you loved Caleb, you wouldn’t put him in danger.”
“When has Caleb been in danger?”
I can’t keep leaning against the wall. I take a step forward.
Cody takes a step back. He seems shocked that I’m so forward – that I’m so ready to fight.
I didn’t end up in his clutches because I’m weak.
I ended up here because I’ll do anything to survive and I’ll do anything to protect my son – even leave him.
“You shot someone,” I say. “If you think I’m just some stupid mail order bride that you can lie to and disrespect–”
“Have you lost your mind?” Cody snarls, interrupting me rudely.
“I’m not done talking.”
“Yes, you are,” he says. “Nobody laid a goddamn finger on Caleb’s head and if they did, I would rip out their tongue.”
“You’re violent.”
“So fucking what?” Cody yells. “I am as violent as I need to be to keep the people I care about safe. You don’t know a goddamn thing about what I would do for you or Caleb and for you to suggest otherwise…”
He makes a mistake by trailing off.
“I know that I’ve never seen a man’s head pop like a grape in front of me until I wandered into your fucked up life.”
Cody turns to me with a sneer. “My fucked up life? Were things going so well for you before I rescued you?”
“Fuck you, Cody!” I yell at him, shoving him hard. “I don’t have to stay here and serve a racist, asshole husband who’s going to get me killed.”
I hit him again. Hard. My hand slams across Cody’s face and the force that rattles through my body scares me. He stumbles back. Stunned. Looking at me like I have two heads. His hands rush to his face. My palm stings from hitting his beard.
“What’s fucking wrong with you?” he hisses.
“I’m not some piece of trash you rescued off the street.”
“When the fuck did I say that?” he snaps. “I ought to whoop your ass for hitting me like that.”
“If you lay a hand on me, the next meal you eat will be laced with enough opioids to knock out an elephant.”
His nostrils flare. My heart rate is so fast and I keep looking for another place to land another hit. I want to hit him again. I want to smack Cody until he lets me leave. It’s like he can read my mind.
“Lay another hand on me and I’ll spank your ass so hard you won’t be able to think about anything else for the next week. Even if you run, Shay… My hand print will go on the fucking run with you.”
I sneer at him, hoping to get him to back off just a little. “You have a mental illness.”
“So fucking what?” Cody snarls at me. “Is that what you call being in love with you? A mental illness?”
“You know I’m talking about murder.”
“I killed to protect you.”
“Then why don’t I feel safe?” I yell at him.
“I don’t know,” Cody yells back. “Because I keep giving, Shay. I give you a home, I give you kindness. I even kept my hands off you out of respect. Nothing seems to convince you that I’m not a monster.”
His voice shakes with anger. If he’s trying to convince me that he isn’t a monster, Cody is doing a terrible job.
“You bought me, Cody.”
“Is that it then?” he says. “You want me to let you walk away? You want me to prove I love you by letting you go?”
“Yes.”
Cody’s face hardens. “Too fucking bad, Shay. I don’t walk away from my promises.”
I can’t stop myself from acting out of control.
Maybe I’m not in control anymore and Cody just unleashed some primal version of Shay that I never allowed myself to express.
I hit his chest again, with a thick punch.
My hand hurts like I just hit a wall. Cody lets me hit him again.
And shove him. He takes a step back and I just keep hitting him until I can’t breathe and then I let out an exhausted sob.
“Hit me, you asshole!” I scream at him. “Do it!”