Chapter 42 – Cody
The twins come out of Shay holding hands.
One hid behind the other, so we find out the same day the doctors do when the girls come out of her.
Two beautiful, tiny baby girls who already have the beautiful features I love so much on my wife.
I love their little noses and their round faces.
I take one look at those girls and know that I would die to protect them.
It’s a terrifying thing to know that I am responsible for these beautiful children, but Shay makes me feel like I’m not a total fuck-up as a father.
I never thought such a thing was possible – to be with a woman who makes me feel like I’m a good dad, and that makes me want to do better every single day.
It’s just about loving her, loving my family, and wanting to show up for her in the same way she shows up for me every single day.
There’s magic in our family, and even if the twins are brand new and I haven’t had very much sleep since they came home, all I want is for the family on this ranch to get bigger.
I’ll wait for Shay to get through the first few months before I suggest my crazy ideas to her, but for now, I love being a father.
Everything about it, even the dirty diapers, which are absolutely nothing to a man who spent his life on a farm. I would do anything to get Shay to agree to more kids. I love this woman, and I love our daughters.
Shay insisted that I have equal rights to naming the kids, even if that’s never the way it worked in my family according to my mother.
Shay thinks that since Caleb is my son who came with a name that she chose, I should assist in naming my daughters.
Cordelia Mae Hollingsworth and Sharon Lee Hollingsworth are my absolutely beautiful mixed-race daughters and they will grow up knowing horses, and knowing everything their mama has to teach them about where she comes from.
It’s a conversation I keep meaning to have with Shay, but she gets deeply uncomfortable at the prospect of leaving the ranch or discussing the details of her past. I know her past has so much pain in it, but I want my daughters to know that I love their mother because of everything that makes her up.
I also love Caleb just as much as I love them.
You don’t really get it unless you ever adopt a kid of your own, I think.
Because I could have never imagined what it would be like to consider that little cub my own until he crawled into my life and I just couldn’t imagine it without him anymore.
Caleb takes his first ride on Butters and I promise him that when he turns nine, he can get a stallion of his own, he just needs to be patient.
That kid loves going out in the sun, and it’s a blessing watching him get stronger, even if he’s just a toddler.
Not thinking much of it, I take him out one day to throw a football and the arm on that kid gives me a fatherly fantasy of watching Caleb become a star quarterback.
Shit, even if he was just a hometown hero, I could be proud of that.
I love the life that I have chosen for the two of us.
We work together better than I ever thought possible.
In the end, part of me is glad that I didn’t give up on love.
I might have had to take a gamble with an arranged marriage, but I ended up with Shay, with Caleb, and with twin baby girls that all represent a brand new future for all of us.
This is all freedom.
And to think, I almost gave up on all of this.
Now that the dust has settled and it’s just us and our growing family, I’m safe and happy enough for us to have a happily ever after.
The End