CHAPTER TWELVE
S HE WASN ’ T MISSING HIM . Nope. And she certainly was not feeling disappointed there was no date tonight. She was in a good space. She’d had a good week. Great, actually. She’d been working round the clock, getting reports written. Achieving with a capital A . She was still working even now. Some might call it a boring Saturday night at home but she was satisfied...
Yeah, right. Of course she wasn’t. She was edgy. It took everything to keep herself on track and not check her phone every five minutes in case he’d messaged.
There’d been eight messages this week—for the record. Silly comments that made her smile. A stupid meme. A copy of the latest photo of them together, which, to her shame, she’d saved as her wallpaper. And yes, she knew this arrangement wasn’t a relationship, but she couldn’t help herself. She was staring at it when she realised someone was pushing her buzzer. And not releasing it.
‘Let me in,’ he growled the second she hit the intercom.
The big bad wolf himself. She listened to his rapid thudding feet as he ran up the stairs and inwardly marvelled at his fitness given the mauling his leg must have had to be so scored with surgical scars.
‘I thought you didn’t want a date this week.’ But she held the door open for him.
And he held a bag that smelt delicious.
‘Thai.’ He put it on her table. ‘I was betting you hadn’t had dinner.’
She recognised the sticker on the brown bag. He’d found her favourite. Her mouth watered. Then she looked at him and her mouth watered more. There was stubble on his jaw, slight shadows beneath his eyes.
‘You look tired,’ she said softly. He looked fit for bed.
‘I’ve been burning the candle to get some work done. Had to travel a bit.’ He frowned. ‘While you look fresh as a daisy.’
She didn’t feel like a daisy. She felt like a firecracker—filled with wild, endless energy that couldn’t get release without ignition. But the spark had arrived and that familiar fizzing inside had begun.
‘Have you got your work done?’ He opened the bags and lifted out a couple of containers.
‘Pretty much.’ She grabbed a couple of forks. ‘At least, enough of it done to be able to get away.’
Oddly, his frown deepened. ‘No problems concentrating?’
‘I can block everything out when I need to.’
But now she realised she was famished. She reached for the first container instead of him. But he didn’t take the fork she’d put on the table for him.
‘You’re not having any?’
‘I already ate.’
She wasn’t sorry—all the more for her. ‘You chose well.’ She licked her lips.
‘Uh-huh.’ A self-mocking smile curved his lips and then he groaned. ‘I should probably—’
‘Lie down on the bed,’ she said.
His eyes widened.
‘I mean, you barely fit in here,’ she explained as if it was simple. But she couldn’t hold back a playful smile. ‘Lying down will probably be the most comfortable place for you in here.’
‘Comfortable.’ He released a low huff of laughter.
Good. She much preferred it when he smiled.
‘I didn’t come here for—’
‘Yeah, you did,’ she said. ‘And I’m quite okay with it.’
He toed off his shoes and vaulted up there. She shimmied out of her shorts and tee.
He opened his arms and sighed as she worked her way up his body—loosening his clothes as she went.
‘You like appreciation.’ She trailed her fingertips across his skin. ‘Thanks for dinner,’ she breathed.
‘You had three bites.’
‘I’ll have more later. I’m hungry for dessert now.’
Zane had fallen asleep mere moments after she’d ravished him. Stayed asleep for hours. The minx was a fast learner.
He’d wanted to make sure she’d had least had dinner. There was no actual kitchen in her place and he felt hungry at the mere thought of that, and yeah, he knew she ordered in, but he was also sure than sometimes she got too buried in her work to remember. So he’d brought some to her. Turned out he’d been the dinner. And he was not complaining.
He was surprisingly comfortable in her tiny space, even though, when he stretched right out, his feet hung off the end of her mattress. So he curled up, spooning her. He appreciated the underperforming air-conditioning unit even if it was noisy. It was a calm cocoon in the middle of the sleepless city. He’d been sleepless all week in his quiet, perfectly air-controlled palace.
‘Where are you taking me this week?’ he asked when she finally stirred as the dawn sun pierced the gap in the curtains. ‘You haven’t sent an email appointment for my calendar.’
She sighed. ‘I don’t think I’m going to take you anywhere this week.’
‘No?’ He shifted and rolled her onto her back so he could see her face. ‘You don’t want me to meet some logistics operators? Some assistants on the shop floor at the grocery store?’
She shook her head a little glumly. ‘I don’t think there’s much point.’
‘You...’ He was actually lost for words. She’d given up on trying to convince him to resuscitate Helberg? That meant he’d won. It didn’t feel like it. Because he didn’t want her to lose her fight.
Her mouth twisted. ‘You’re going to do whatever you’re going to do. What I say isn’t going to make a shred of difference.’
That was true, but it wasn’t enough. He wanted to prove to her that his plans made good business sense. He wanted her to agree, to admit he was right —
His whole body went cold. ‘What does this mean for our deal?’
If there was nothing in this for her any more, she might end it early.
She laughed bitterly. ‘Nothing matters more than the bet.’
No, that wasn’t it. He wanted the time with her. It couldn’t be over yet. They had too much fuel still to burn through.
‘I should leave you, so you lose the bet,’ she said. ‘But it seems I’ve caught some of your selfishness. My balance is off. You’ve pointed that out to me.’ She looked right into his eyes. ‘I still want to further my education with you.’
Immense relief hit. ‘That isn’t selfish. That’s smart.’
Now her lashes lowered. ‘I don’t think I’ve been all that smart.’
‘What? How so?’
‘I’ve somehow sleepwalked into a life that I didn’t plan.’ She bowed her head. ‘Dad died so unexpectedly.’
Zane swallowed. He didn’t much like her father but he got that Skylar had adored him. ‘What happened?’
‘I was here but I went home most weekends. Worked on the bus both ways so I could hang out with him. I was saving for a new place. I wanted him to have an actual house, you know? His own little bit of land. He wanted that too. Was still working three jobs. And one day, his heart...’
‘I’m sorry, Skylar.’
‘You know what it’s like to lose your dad.’
He shook his head. ‘I never had him to begin with.’
The man hadn’t wanted to be tied down with the burden of an overactive kid. He’d left when Zane was three. His mother had struggled financially until she could get him into school.
‘I think I was lost after he died...he’d been so...’
Authoritarian? Zane bit back his judgment of the man Skylar had loved. And obeyed to the letter.
‘I didn’t go home again after he’d gone. I couldn’t. I buried my grief by being busy at work. I guess I transferred all that loyalty to Helberg...not Reed, the company. I needed to feel indispensable. But I think I also needed the structure it gave me. The familiar discipline and purpose. Rules, you know? Rules to keep you safe. Praise for performing. Doing an excellent job for everyone but myself.’ She bowed her head. ‘I’m really tragic.’
Zane didn’t know what to say. The old man had been crazy protective and she was sweet and kind and obedient—but spirited beneath. She had a lot of spirit. She’d been stuck up on that balcony like some damned Rapunzel. And Zane hadn’t been good enough to be anywhere near her.
Don’t you dare...
She was loyal to her father. That was admirable, right?
‘You’re not tragic.’ Zane sighed. ‘Maybe he was afraid of losing you. Maybe that’s why he held the reins he had on you so tightly. He’d lost his wife and he didn’t want to lose you too.’
‘He never would have lost me.’
‘You’d never have fallen in love? Got married and moved towns?’ Zane stilled inside, not wanting to hear her answer. She never would have picked a lover over the wishes of her father.
The past shimmered between them. A moment that should have been nothing. That they should be able to laugh about now. But he couldn’t even bring himself to mention it aloud.
‘I would have stayed near. I would have done anything...’
Yeah. That old bitterness rippled through him. Even though part of him understood it. Totally. ‘You were scared of losing him too. You clung to the things that worked for you both to make you feel secure. He was strict and you were studious. But you don’t owe anyone anything now. You’ve got those savings from your hard work. Your effort . But maybe you were so busy putting all your effort into the work you didn’t have the energy to explore your own hopes and dreams. Your needs. You do have needs, Skylar.’
Skylar pressed her cheek against her cool pillow. ‘You mean I’m a repressed nympho.’ She felt hot and prickly inside.
‘You should have your own dreams. You should just do what you want, Skylar.’
The trouble was those ‘needs’ had only turned up the same time as he had. Just as they had when they were teenagers. Before she’d gone back to that boarding school and he’d gone to make it big in the city.
And they were worsening. She needed them to ease off and this conversation really wasn’t helping. ‘For someone who doesn’t like relationships, you’re quite the analyst.’
‘I’m at a distance and able to observe more dispassionately, I guess.’ He cleared his throat.
He was definitely at a distance. Deliberately. He kept secrets. Fair enough. She usually did too—by circumstance. There wasn’t someone around who she’d talk this personal with. But he was easy to talk to. She’d just told him too much.
That pale blue of his eyes had all but disappeared now and she stared into the depths of his pupils.
‘I just want to see you do whatever the hell you want,’ he said gruffly.
That was how he lived. Doing what he wanted. With whomever he wanted.
She’d loved her father but he’d wanted her to be ‘good’—by his definition. Don’t you dare... run off and abandon all responsibility. Don’t leave him in the lurch. Alone. Like her mother had left them both.
But he’d never encouraged her to be brave . He’d never given her alternatives to consider. It had been his way...and she’d never had the chance to figure out what she truly wanted to reach for.
She needed to—not just regarding her career, but her personal life as well. Because how she’d been living all these years wasn’t enough. She’d lived so long with pressure to succeed, to please her dad, to please her bosses, her colleagues. Working all the hours. But that had been to avoid other parts of life. These last couple of weeks had shown her this, and she was hungry for a lot more. But she had only until Labour Day with Zane. She couldn’t think beyond that. So for now, there was the one fantasy she could fulfil. ‘I want this weekend away.’