CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Z ANE ’ S MOOD DROPPED like a stone when he realised it was early and he was alone. They were flying back to Manhattan tonight and he really didn’t want to have woken alone at this hour. They’d spent most of yesterday in bed after that time at the piano. It still hadn’t been enough. And now she was gone. He went hunting for her. Found her in the lounge. She’d positioned a wide armchair to catch the first rays of the sun.
‘You’re working?’ He checked his stride when he saw her laptop. ‘I thought you’d got everything done before we left.’
He hadn’t realised she’d brought her computer. Admittedly he’d brought his but he hadn’t opened it. Hell, he hadn’t remembered he had it till now. But here she was, up at stupid o’clock working—mentally back in Manhattan already, and was he actually feeling jealous that her attention was elsewhere?
He gritted his teeth at the bitter irony. Usually he was the one too busy to be sociable over breakfast—the one avoiding extended intimacy with a conveniently timed meeting. But not now. Now he wanted her back in his bed. Warm and willing and fully focused on him.
‘I’m just doing a favour for Avery,’ she muttered. Her gaze remained trained on the screen in front of her.
Zane was the one who didn’t get distracted—he didn’t prioritise a lover over work, but today Skylar wasn’t. Because work was totally her priority. As it should be his.
They clearly felt differently. Hell, he actually felt —and not good. The realisation that she wasn’t as into this thing between them as he was, was sharply—what? Painful? Suddenly he was pissed on several levels.
‘She’s in logistics,’ Skylar added, oblivious to the tornado brewing inside him. ‘Such a sweetheart. One of her kids is really into distance running. Way faster than me.’
His overly possessive outrage worsened. Of course she knew all this about the woman and her family—she was gently curious and she remembered everything. That one-to-one kindness of hers was genuine. But it was also universal. Belatedly he bitterly realised that her listening to him yesterday morning hadn’t been anything special to her —she did that for all of her work associates. But for him it had been decidedly unique.
He felt exposed. And even though he’d told her all he had about Helberg, she still wanted that damned company to be rescued. She was doing work for the bloody thing right now and he knew it was irrational of him to be angry about that, but he was. And dealing with it, he wasn’t .
His old pain hadn’t affected her view of the company at all. Because she still cared about all the people she worked with. They mattered to her more than anything he’d shared with her. And that was fair enough. He was nothing more than a deal to her.
Except he was bothered. Badly.
And nothing soothed it this time. Not the swim he had with her when she’d finally finished. Not the leisurely lunch they shared. Not the last few hours they’d spent in that magnificent bed—he’d carried her there, determined to have her attention solely on him. And he’d succeeded.
Only then he realised the extent of his mistake.
He didn’t do this. He didn’t spend night after night with one woman and certainly didn’t go on holiday with her. He didn’t laze about, talking of too much that was too private. He’d never let anyone get to him like this—God, didn’t it serve him right to be finally interested in a woman only to find she wasn’t really interested in him.
But she was beneath his skin—and there was part of him wanting her to stay . His heart pounded. He couldn’t let her get any deeper.
The fact was they were never going to agree on what ought to be done with Helberg. Nothing had changed there. Nor would it. So this whole game they had going—and it was , he reminded himself, a game—was pointless. No point in continuing the arrangement. Because he was angry. And uncomfortable—he’d told her too much.
The demise of Helberg would devastate her. There was no disentangling how this whole mess had begun. He’d wanted her—now he’d had her he wanted more. But she just wanted to protect Helberg, and getting some sexual experience had merely been a bonus on the side.
So this whole situation was only going to worsen in every way.
There was only one option left to him. And he couldn’t get back to Manhattan quickly enough.
Bitterly—weakly—he stalled until the last few minutes when his driver was en route to her tiny apartment.
‘You’re free of any obligation to me, the deal’s off,’ he said quietly.
She twisted in her seat. Her expression confused. ‘What does that mean?’
‘You don’t need to be my date any more. It’s not necessary.’
Her eyes widened. ‘Has something happened with Helberg? Someone else made an offer?’
Right. Of course her first thought was about the company. Not him.
He shook his head. ‘I’ve reconsidered my position,’ he said coolly. ‘I can just stop dating for the rest of the time and still win Helberg. As long as I’m not seen with another date then I’m still in it.’
He didn’t know what he was going to do about the stupid bet. Right now he just needed space from her.
‘You don’t want to go on any more dates with me?’
Bingo. ‘It’s not fair of me to hold you to the bargain when you’ve already conceded.’
Skylar could hardly hear over the thundering of her pulse in her ears but it sounded a lot like he was ending their deal early. Way too early. She needlessly fiddled with her bag, needing a reason not to look into his eyes. ‘How noble of you to want to play fair.’
She’d known it would end but she’d thought she had a few more weeks. Labour Day, right?
‘I don’t want to hurt—’
‘You haven’t,’ she interrupted him quickly. ‘This was always a temporary thing.’
‘I know,’ he clipped. ‘I meant about dismantling Helberg. I can’t change my view on what needs to be done there.’
‘Right. Of course.’ She released a tight breath. ‘To be honest, I knew that.’
He hadn’t changed. But to her horror, she realised she had. Not in regard to Helberg—in regard to him . She didn’t want this fling to end early. Because spending all this time with him—getting to know him properly, beyond the chemistry that had blinded her for so long—had changed her.
She hadn’t known that terrible accident had occurred right after his awful scholarship interview. That he’d been so young, a wary, too-intelligent boy who hadn’t wanted to leave his home. A boy who’d already been rejected by his own father and who then realised that his mother too didn’t seem to want him around. Skylar knew how deep, how irrevocable that kind of hurt was. To have a parent who wasn’t interested. Who left.
No wonder he’d blamed Reed Helberg—because it was far easier to hate him for it all than to put it on his parents, who she knew he still loved.
She totally understood that feeling. Unlike him, she’d wanted to escape—only she hadn’t. Not even now. She still worked for that complete pressure.
Her father had humiliated Zane that crazy afternoon when they’d kissed so passionately in the stairwell. But she’d said nothing—she’d just stood there and let Zane take all the blame. It might’ve stung at the time but it wouldn’t have bothered Zane the same as the others. He probably laughed about it—if he ever thought of it at all. And he had what he wanted now—his success and that beautiful home on the beach. But he was very, very alone. That was how he wanted it—or so he proclaimed. But now she knew the scars on his thigh weren’t anywhere as deep as the ones inside.
‘Why was it okay for us to be together this weekend but not for longer?’ she couldn’t stop herself from asking. ‘What’s changed?’
He shook his head. ‘Nothing’s changed. That’s the point.’
But he should have people in his life—for longer than the few nights he allowed.
‘You might have a lonely few weeks,’ she muttered. ‘Not dating anyone.’
‘I think I can handle it,’ he muttered dismissively.
But he didn’t have to. Her heart pounded harder. ‘You don’t want company?’ She tried to keep it light. But she was angry with him for waiting until the last possible moment to tell her. To give her no time to process or to argue. But it slipped out anyway. ‘You don’t think we could just keep on seeing each other like this?’ She could handle a bit longer. It was only sex after all. An affair that she didn’t want to be over yet.
‘No.’ He stared just beyond her, slightly pale given the last few days in the sun.
No . Instant, flat rejection.
‘I don’t want to,’ he added.
As if she hadn’t got the memo already.
It hurt so much more than it should. Stupid, Skylar. This was only a game and apparently for him it was no longer fun. Was he bored ? After all, they’d had a few more dates than one.
She shouldn’t have asked. She’d sounded pathetic and needy. She forced a smile to cover up and was so, so glad the chauffeur had pulled up outside of her apartment. ‘Sure. Of course.’ She opened the door and as she scrambled to get out of the car, she muttered, ‘I guess you’re going to be busy.’