Chapter 22
22
DEAN
M y hands moved of their own accord, sliding up Portia’s back, pulling her into my lap. My erection was hard as a rock. I could pound nails. Ever since I first laid eyes on her, I had felt this need. I knew no other woman would do. It had to be her.
I told myself to slow down, to think this through, but the way she kissed me—like she was just as hungry as I was made it impossible to stop.
Her fingers tangled in my hair, pulling and tilting my head back so she could continue to devour me. When she broke away just long enough to catch her breath, I didn’t give her the chance to second-guess anything. I slanted my mouth over hers again, deepening the kiss until the room spun around us.
I pushed her away just enough for me to get to my feet. “Come with me,” I said.
She didn’t ask where we were going. She took my hand and let me lead her upstairs. We walked into my bedroom. I paused. If she wanted to turn around and leave, I wouldn’t stop her.
“I should be on top,” she said.
I smirked. “Works for me.”
I reached for the bottom of her shirt and pulled it over her head. She wasn’t wearing a bra. My cock jumped at the sight of her. She was stunning.
I quickly pushed down her pants, hooking my thumbs in her thong and pushing both down. I cursed under my breath. Her body was a work of art, every curve, every dip driving me mad with need.
She reached for my sweats and jerked them down. I didn’t have time to think before she dropped to her knees in front of me, taking me into her mouth. I groaned loudly, swear words bubbling up from deep inside me as I fought to keep myself from coming undone right there on the spot. It felt like an electric shock coursing through my entire body.
I grabbed fistfuls of her hair and held on tight as she bobbed her head up and down on me, sucking harder and faster with each passing moment. Her tongue flicked at the sensitive skin beneath the crown of my cock, driving me closer to the edge without mercy.
My knees buckled. I thought I might fall in a heap to the floor.
“Portia, I can’t,” I groaned. “You have to stop.”
She pulled back and looked up at me with pure mischief in her eyes. “I was just getting started.”
“Yeah, well you’re a little too good at that and I was on the verge of finishing.” I reached down and pulled her to her feet. “Get on the bed.”
“Me on top?”
“No. Lie down.”
I didn’t wait to see if she would obey. I walked to the nightstand and pulled open the drawer. I pulled out a condom and looked over my shoulder. She was sitting on the edge of the bed.
“I told you to lie down,” I said.
I gently pushed at her shoulder. She flopped back onto the bed. I wanted to take my time, but the sight of her spread out before me made it impossible. I climbed onto the bed and positioned myself between her legs. My fingers traced over her folds, opening her for me. I leaned down, taking her into my mouth, savoring the taste of her. She tasted fucking incredible.
Her legs wrapped around my head, pulling me closer to her. I sucked harder, feeling the vibration of her moans against my lips. Her hips bucked upward, meeting my movements with a desperation that sent shivers down my spine.
Her nails dug into my shoulders, but I didn’t mind the pain. It only served to intensify the sensations cascading through me. I found a rhythm, sliding my tongue as she arched her back off the mattress.
Every muscle in my body tensed as I felt myself on the brink of release. But I wouldn’t let it happen yet. Not without seeing her come apart beneath me first.
I pulled away from her for just a moment, almost regretting the loss of contact with her sweet heat. I reached up and fondled one breast, then the next. She moaned and writhed, her legs open and her wet core exposed.
“Dean,” she moaned.
I wanted to drag things out. I wanted to make her crazy with desire, but I was on the edge. I had to give her an orgasm so I could plunge inside her.
My mouth went back, determined to take her over the edge. I sucked harder, thrusting my tongue into her and tasting her sweetness. She cried out, arching her back off the mattress. I pulled at her swollen clit until she screamed with the pleasure of her orgasm.
I lapped at her until she was twitching with the aftershocks of the orgasm. I went up on my knees and quickly rolled on the condom.
She watched me with hooded eyes, anticipation and need written all over her face. She was ready for me. I positioned myself at her entrance.
“You’re sure?” I asked. My chest heaved up and down. I prayed she wouldn’t tell me she changed her mind. My cock throbbed to the point of being almost painful.
“I’m sure,” she whispered.
I slid slowly inside, inch by excruciating inch. She groaned and writhed beneath me, but she didn’t push me away. She wanted this as much as I did.
As soon as I was fully seated inside her, I began to move. Slow at first, just a gentle rocking of our hips together. But the more she moved with me, the faster and more urgently we went.
Her hands gripped my shoulders tightly while her nails dug into my skin. I welcomed the pain. It just made it that much hotter. Her tight muscles gripped me like a vise before slowly releasing their hold. I could feel her walls tightening around me as she neared her second climax. Her breathing was ragged, and her body trembled under mine. I picked up the pace, thrusting deeper and harder into her wet heat. Her nails dug into my shoulders again, leaving tiny red marks that would eventually fade but serve as a reminder of this moment.
As she screamed out in ecstasy, I felt myself being pulled over the edge. Every muscle tensed. I let go, losing myself in her tightness.
After what felt like an eternity, we both collapsed onto the bed, spent but satisfied. She laid her head on my chest as I stroked her hair and listened to her heartbeat slowly return to normal.
“I should go,” she murmured.
“You and I both know you’re not going anywhere.” I got up and pulled the blankets back. “Get under the covers.”
“It’s three hundred degrees.”
“That’s just a little dramatic.”
She did it anyway, climbing under the covers while I turned on the fan overhead and the one I kept next to my bed. I got in beside her. She curled against me. I didn’t typically do the snuggle thing, but for now, I was going to give it a try.
I felt her breathing slow and knew she was falling asleep. I stayed still and let her drift into sweet oblivion in my arms. I thought I was tired, but I couldn’t sleep. My thoughts were running a mile a minute.
I eased out of bed, careful not to wake her. I pulled on my briefs and stood at the edge of the bed watching her. The room felt too small all of a sudden, the weight in my chest pressing too hard, too deep.
I walked out of the room, being careful not to wake her. I walked downstairs and moved to stand in front of the window. I stared out at the lake. The moon was nothing more than a sliver. The lake looked black and endless.
I rubbed a hand over my face, exhaling slowly. Was this a mistake?
My pulse was still uneven, but it had nothing to do with what happened between us. That had been right. Too right. And maybe that was the problem.
I wasn’t good at this. Letting someone in. Trusting that they wouldn’t take what I gave and twist it into something ugly. She hadn’t given me any reason to doubt her—not once—but that gnawing hesitation still sat heavy in my gut. People let me down.
Always.
I never let anyone get close because I knew it was only a matter of time before they let me down. People were rarely honest or genuine. At least, not in my experience. I wasn’t sure Portia was like that. I wanted to believe she wasn’t, but how could I know for certain? It was about putting myself out there and I wasn’t sure I could do that.
What if I was the problem? What if I was the one who ruined this before it had a chance to be something real?
She didn’t deserve to be hurt. And if there was one thing I knew about myself, it was that I was damn good at keeping people at arm’s length—pushing them away before they could get close enough to see the cracks.
She was up there, trusting me enough to fall asleep beside me. Trusting that I wouldn’t let her down. I wasn’t sure if I could promise that. But damn it, for the first time in a long time, I wanted to try.
I grabbed a glass of water, taking a few drinks before locking things up. I headed back upstairs. She was still sound asleep. I spent a few seconds looking at her before I climbed in beside her. I pulled her into my arms, holding her close. I inhaled the scent of her hair.
It was familiar and calming at the same time. I closed my eyes and let myself relax, physically and mentally. Nothing was going to happen in the next eight hours. I could let my guard down.