Chapter 14
fourteen
. . .
Daphne
I put the bouquet of lilies on her headstone, brush the dried up leaves and twigs away.
“Hey Nicole.”
“It’s a nice tree,” Armin says. She’s got a big yew to shade her plot in the cemetery. Armin takes out the handkerchief from his back pocket and helps me brush the dirt off her grave.
“I’ve got somebody I want you to meet.”
He clears his throat. “Hello, Nicole,” he says. “It’s nice to meet you. I’ve heard so much about you.”
Hearing Armin say Nicole’s name sets me to crying. I work hard to turn it off, but the tears come anyway. I’ve cried more in the past couple of months than in my whole life, or at least since Nicole died.
Being both free of the FBI and partnered with the man I love has been a full-scale assault on the wall I’d built up over the years, to stop myself from feeling anything.
Armin’s there, both arms around me, ready to cradle me in his soft flannel. I let him hold me and I cry into his shirt until I can’t anymore.
“I think I want to be alone with her,” I say.
He nods, thumbing away the last of my tears from my cheeks. “I’ll be walking on this loop over there around the willow tree, by the pond. Take all the time you need, Daphne.”
“Thanks,” I sniff. He squeezes me hard, and then he sets off on his walk.
I sit down on the grass and rest my chin on the granite, enjoying its solid cold on my skin.
“Hey lady,” I say. “We got him. That bastard won’t hurt anybody ever again. I guess there’s always a chance his lawyers will weasel him out of the sentence he deserves. But I’m hopeful.”
I picture her the last time I saw her, sixteen years old. Sunshiny smile. My big sister.
“I know this may come as a shock to you, if you haven’t been keeping up with me, but I’ve met somebody.
“Yeah, I didn’t see it coming, either.
“It happened in the worst way, too. He thought I was a sex worker. I know. Not a great start.”
I run my fingers over the engraved letters, tracing her name.
“But we’ve gotten to know each other now, all over again. For real this time. He’s a good guy. I wish you could meet him. I guess you just did.”
I let a few teardrops fall on her grave, and it reminds me of all the times I cried here as a child.
“He used to be a sheriff. Since I quit the Bureau, we’ve been talking about going into business together, maybe creating a private investigation service to track down runaway kids, like you, before anything bad happens to them.”
A bright yellow bird flies in and perches in the yew.
“I miss you like all hell, Nicole. I need you to haunt me now more than ever, to help me get through this dang wedding. Maybe we’ll elope. I think you would approve of that.”
The bird trills a few high-pitched chirps at me.
“Noted. Elopement it is.”
I take a deep breath. A breeze kicks up and ruffles my hair, and it smooths a jagged edge inside my mind.
“Thanks, lady.” I give her stone a pat. I watch the bird until it flies away.
I get up to go join Armin on his walk. He’s standing just over the next hill. “You didn’t get far,” I call.
“Thought I would wait for you,” he says.
I catch up to him, take his face in my hands and smooth his mustache with both my thumbs, the way I used to when I was pretending to be somebody else. It still feels good. I kiss him on the lips, hard.
“Does this mean she approved of me?” He asks, when I let him breathe again.
“She approved,” I say.
He takes my hand in his and brings it to his lips to kiss my knuckles. “Hot damn.”