15. Daddys Friend
DADDY'S FRIEND
Lani
I've been in the penthouse for a week. Lily knows me as daddy's friend staying in the guest room. That's all she needs to know.
We haven't been alone together. Not once. That's how Ethan and I want it.
Then Harper's phone call changes everything.
Ethan's phone buzzes. He looks at the screen. I can tell before he speaks.
“Harper,” he says. “What's wrong?”
I can't hear the other end. I watch his face.
“No, of course. Go. Yes. I'll figure it out.” A pause. “Tell me at the hospital, not now. Go.”
He hangs up. Stares at the phone.
“Harper's mother had a fall. She's at the hospital. Harper needs to leave now.” He runs a hand through his hair. “Lily needs to be picked up from preschool in an hour. And I have the Singapore investors on a board call in twenty minutes that I cannot move.”
“I can get her.”
The words are out before I think them through.
He freezes.
“You don't have to.”
“I know I don't have to. But you need help. I'm here. Let me help.”
He looks at me like I've offered him something he doesn't know how to accept.
“She doesn't know about the baby,” he says.
“I know.”
“And the cover story. Friend. Renovations. We agreed.”
“I remember.”
“She's going to have questions. She always has questions.”
“Ethan.” I cross to him and put my hand on his arm. “Go to your call. I've got her. Friend of daddy's. Renovations. Apple slices. I can do this.”
He looks at me for a long second.
Then he nods.
“Thank you.” His voice is rough. “Her teacher's name is Miss Angela. Bun has to come home from school with her or there are consequences. And ...”
“Ethan. Go.”
He goes.
Sunny Days Preschool is a ten-minute cab ride away.
I walk in and find the front desk. A woman with a kind face looks up.
“I'm here for Lily Mercer. Her father sent me. Harper had an emergency.”
She checks her list, looks at the photo Ethan texted ahead, looks at me. Nods.
“Miss Angela's class. Down the hall, second door on the left.”
I find the classroom as kids are grabbing their backpacks. A teacher with red hair and too much perfume helps a little boy zip his jacket. She looks up when I enter.
“You must be here for Lily. Mr. Mercer called ahead.”
Lily sees me from across the room. She looks confused for a second. She was expecting Harper.
She walks over. Bun under one arm.
“Lani? Where's Harper?”
“Harper had to leave. Her mommy got hurt. So, Daddy asked me to come get you. Is that okay?”
She looks at me for a second. Bun gets adjusted under her arm.
“Is Harper’s mommy okay?”
“She's going to be okay.”
Lily nods. “I'll make her a get-well card.”
“That's a really kind thing to do.”
“I have markers at home.” She holds out her hand. “Come on. Daddy says we don't keep cabs waiting.”
I take her hand. Her fingers are small and warm.
In the cab, Lily tells me about butterflies. About a boy named Marcus who ate glue. About the gold star she got for sharing.
I am listening. I'd forgotten how absolute four-year-olds are about their convictions.
She stops at one point and looks up at me.
“Lani is a pretty name.”
“Thank you. Lily is a beautiful name.”
“My mommy named me.”
The cab keeps moving. The driver doesn't react. The afternoon traffic flows around us.
“That's a really nice thing your mommy did.”
She nods. Goes back to looking out the window. “Daddy doesn't talk about her.”
“Some things are private,” I say. “It's okay if your daddy keeps that private.”
“I have a picture of her. Daddy gave it to me when I was three. It's in my room.”
“That's a special thing to have.”
“She has pretty hair like you. But blonde.”
I pause. Lily's mother has blonde hair. Like Ethan.
“That sounds beautiful,” I say.
She nods, satisfied, and goes back to telling me about the butterfly that landed on her finger for three seconds.
She has a picture of her mother. Ethan kept it. He gave it to her. Whatever else is true about Tessa, Ethan has been making sure Lily knows she has a mother who exists. He has not erased her.
I carry that with me the rest of the ride.
The penthouse is quiet when we walk in.
“Apple slices,” Lily announces. “I'm hungry. But not bananas. Bananas are disgusting.”
She says this with the absolute conviction of someone who has never questioned a single opinion in her life.
I find the apples. I cut them. She informs me, with the patience of a saint dealing with an idiot, that they must be cut into eight pieces. No more, no less.
I cut them into eight pieces.
She watches her cooking show from a specific spot on the couch with Bun arranged to her specifications. I sit at the counter with my laptop and pretend to work.
After the show she finds me.
“Do you want to color?”
“I would love to color.”
She gets out the crayons. Hands me a flower coloring page and tells me not to make them boring colors. She works on a purple horse.
“Lani?”
“Yeah?”
“Why are you staying at our house?”
I keep my eyes on the orange tulip I'm coloring.
“Because my place is being fixed up, remember? Daddy is letting me stay in the guest room until it's done.”
“For how long?”
“A little while.”
She nods. Returns to her horse.
“Lani?”
“Yeah?”
“Why doesn't my mommy live with us?”
I set down my crayon.
“That's a question for your daddy, sweetheart. That's his to tell you.”
She thinks about this. “Okay.”
She goes back to her horse.
I sit there with my heart pounding and the crayon getting warm in my hand.
When she's done, she hands me her drawing.
“This is for you.”
Four people standing in a row. Stick legs, circle bodies, hair scribbles for everyone. She points to each.
“That's Daddy. Tie, see? He always wears ties. That's Harper. Yellow hair. That's me. Purple dress. That's Bun.”
Four figures.
“That's a beautiful drawing, Lily.”
“Daddy goes on the wall. Harper too. I don't have a picture of you yet. Maybe I'll draw you another time.”
“That makes sense.”
She nods and reaches for the orange crayon I was using.
I look at the four figures on the page. Tidy and small and complete. Lily put me in her afternoon. Not her family. There's a difference.
Ethan comes home an hour later.
He stands in the doorway watching us. Lily looks up and her whole face changes.
“Daddy!”
She slides off her stool and runs to him. He scoops her up.
“Lani brought me home. We made apple slices. I told her about the butterfly. I drew a horse and gave her a paper.”
“Did you?”
“Yes. And she colored flowers that aren't boring colors.”
“Excellent work.”
Lily wiggles in his arms. “I want bubbles.”
“You always want bubbles.”
“I want bubbles tonight.”
“Then bubbles you shall have.”
He looks at me over her head. His eyes are warm and tired and grateful.
“Thank you,” he says.
I nod. The drawing is on the counter between us. He looks at it. Sees four figures. Sees that I am not one of them.
“Bath time, bug,” he says, turning toward the hallway. “Say goodnight to Lani.”
“Goodnight, Lani.”
“Goodnight, Lily.”
She waves at me from his hip and then she's gone, her voice starting up about bubble strategy as Ethan carries her down the hall.
I sit at the counter with the drawing and the orange crayon. I think about the picture of her mother in Lily's room.
I am not in her drawings yet. I am not her mama. She has one of those.
For now, I'm Lani. The friend who picked her up when Harper had to leave.
For now, that has to be enough.