Chapter 5
I couldn't decide how I would turn this conversation around but before I have the chance Xander decides to speak up.
"Want to know something?" He asks and I nod wanting him to continue his thought.
"When I first met you I thought you were just another pretty assistant who was incompetent at whatever I threw at you. But you proved me wrong. I know you think I don't notice you but whenever you would drop off your work I always noticed everything about you.
Like what you wore and how you would be the one to leave me a cup of coffee at my desk every morning. And over the years of getting to know you, I've noticed..."
He pauses before he continues, "I noticed that I was falling for you."
He says and I'm stung by his confession.
I always thought he never glanced my way or have feelings for me.
I don't know what to say because he has said everything I wanted to hear.
"But you're married and there's no way you could ever want me," I say looking at his wedding band that he wears almost every day. I'm still in disbelief over his confession and I don't know if I should tell him how I feel because my mind keeps running wild.
"I thought you knew my feelings." He says and without notice, he tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear. For a second I'm in shock over her words. Have I been blind to notice he took an interest in me?
I then clear my throat and say "How can you say all of this even though you're married." I finally say in disbelief.
"I truly mean it, Natalia, you're the only one who is constantly on my mind." He says.
"But-" Before I get the chance to say anything, I feel Xander's lips crush mine.
My logical instinct is to stop it but my heart has other plans.
The taste of wine strike warmth throughout my body.
My lips part for him as he slowly slips his tongue gently inside my mouth.
As he's kissing me I feel the gush of hot fluid running down my body.
As he continues, I sense his hands cupping the side of my face and without thinking my hands start to wrap around his neck wanting more.
We're soon out of breath but he continues to kiss my neck and jaw giving me time to breathe.
Seconds later Xander is pulling me onto his lap with my legs draped over him.
His hands move to my waist keeping me in place and my hands move to his collar but my mind drifts to Olivia.
The thoughts of what I'm doing to Xander, kissing a married man make me start to pull away from his touch.
"What's wrong?" he asks looking at me confused.
"We can't do this." I say out of breath, "You're married. Remember?"
"Yes but I want you." He says and his words alone send shivers through my body. "Look, I know you have reservations but I really do mean what I said to you earlier."
I look away from him to try and focus for a second. I know what I want to do with him but I feel guilty about it. Noticing my silence he takes his hands away from my waist and places them on my face making me look at him.
"I want to believe me I do but you're married and I don't want to come in between that," I say looking at him.
"Then don't overthink." He says it like it's easy. Sensing my thoughts he starts kissing me again and this time I don't pull away. His lips on mine ignite the fire that I put out a moment ago. I feel all common sense lost in our small space on the couch.
Once again I find my arms wrapped around his neck and his arms are back on my waist. As his kisses burn coal to my fire, I feel a sudden desire for more. I tug at his shirt collar indicating my urge. Sensing my need Xander slowly trails kisses towards my neck and says in my ear.
"Why don't we continue this in my bedroom?"
"Yeah," I say in a ragged breath. We both get up from our spot on the couch and walk upstairs to his bedroom. He leads me towards two double doors and once I'm inside I'm once again amazed.
His room is larger than my entire apartment put together.
In the middle of the room is a four-post king-sized bed and directly on the left side is another large window that opens out to the balcony.
Across from the bed is a fireplace and a wide tv mounted on top.
To the left side of the bed is a small desk and chair with a lamp and laptop set on top.
The majority of the room is covered in white decor with the exceptions of the walls being covered in grey.
He closes the door behind me and leads me towards the bed.
I start to feel the excitement and nerves pick at the pit of my stomach.
As we reach the bed he turns me around and starts to kiss me softly.
I feel the fire start to rain down on me as our kissing starts to build up while my knees begin to weaken.
Trying not breaking our contact, Xander and I move onto the bed.
My hands start to think for themselves and they start to unbutton his shirt. Xander seems to have the same idea by unzipping my dress.
"You know I really liked you in that dress."
He says while catching his breath, I smile at his little compliment.
As soon as I reach the last button of his shirt I marvel at the sight of his smooth but fit chest.
His shirt is off and on the floor, as my dress also falls to the ground.
I notice his eyes go wide for a moment over my strapless lace bra and panties.
I'm silently thankful for wearing decent underwear.
I then sit on his lap deciding where to go from here.
For a split second, I feel guilty but Xander's words repeat in my mind Don't overthink.
His words reassure me for the moment. I've only had sex a couple of times with two other people so I allow my body to think for itself and decide to shut my mind off for the time being.
I keep kissing him while I work my tongue down his body.
Soon I'm on my knees in front of him and start to take his pants off.
Once they're off I then start taking his tight black boxers that show the growing bulge beneath them.
As I slip them off I notice his length is larger than most I've seen.
I start teasing him by pumping him slowly as Xander takes a sharp breath, I begin licking his length up and down.
Smiling to myself, I make my way towards the tip.
"Fuck...Stop teasing me." He says out of breath. I've never had someone speak to me during sex but when Xander does so it gives me pleasure.
I stop licking and decide to take him in my mouth. I earn a loud moan from Xander which makes me want to hear him moan again. As I take him in I look up and notice Xander trying to keep his eyes open while hearing his heavy breathing and moaning.
"Fuck you're going to make me come if you keep doing that." He says and I pick up my pace but before he relieves himself into my mouth he decides to pick me off the floor to stand. I look at him confused for the moment.
"Lay down and keep your legs spread apart for me. I want to repay you." He says with a devilish grin on his face.
I smile and do what I'm told. Xander get's on top of me and begins kissing my lips then trails off towards the dip between my breasts.
He looks up at me and without words I know he wants to take my bra off.
I arch my back allowing him to unclasp it and he tosses it towards the ground.
He then moves his lips towards my legs and thighs.
Slowly he takes my panties off throwing them with the rest of our clothing.
Afterward, his lips meet in between my thighs and I take in a breath when he starts moving his tongue in and around me. I start moaning his name.
"Oh god," I say trying to keep up with my breathing.
I then start to feel some pressure build when he sucks and licks my bud.
As the pressure gets unbearable my legs push up off the bed but they are pushed down by Xander's strong hands.
I then grab the sheets to keep myself centered.
The pressure finally breaks and I feel relieved.
A split second later, I gesture for Xander to join me on the bed.
As he sits in front of me I'm not convinced that I'm satisfied.
I wrap my arms around him for like the fifth time and finish what I started.
He notices the direction that I want to take this and he allows me to sit on my back with my legs spread apart for him.
He moves closer and enters himself. Initially, I feel a small pinch of excitement as Xander slowly moves in and out of me.
I soon have my hips matching his pace and we are both moaning and panting together in unison.
I slowly switch positions by leaning towards Xander's sculpted body and wrap my arms around his muscular shoulders to keep myself steady.
He keeps his arms hooked onto my hips and the pinch of excitement begins to form a bubble.
At this point, we both move the pace along.
As it quickens, I feel the bubble about to burst and I dig my fingers into his back as he slightly tightens his hold on me.
Within seconds the bubble pops and we have finally reached our climax.
In our finished state of euphoria, all I can do is lay back onto the mattress to catch my breath.
I stare at the ceiling trying to recover and I seem not to notice Xander lay next to me possibly doing the same thing.
After fully catching my breath I say, "I'm convinced that I like you more." I wait for his response and after a heartbeat, I turn towards him to find his eyes closed indicating he has fallen asleep. For a second regret starts to seep in and I feel the relief turn into guilt. What have I done?