Chapter 8
I wake up the next day feeling uncertain to the point of wanting to vomit Which I almost did this morning.
While getting dressed I look outside of my window and notice that it's raining.
I then grab a pair of black tights to wear for the cold weather.
looking at myself in the mirror I notice I'm somewhat presentable and head out of my room to get my things to leave for work.
When I get to work I quickly make myself some tea and grab an English muffin for my quick breakfast.
As usual, I grab a cup of coffee for Xander.
Leaving the cantina, I head to his office to drop off his coffee I do so quickly just in case he comes in early.
Shortly after my quick errand, I head to my office to eat my breakfast.
I'm still too nervous to eat but I need to have something.
When I'm finished I notice it's time for me to log into my computer and begin my first task of cleaning up the company's calendar.
While in the middle of doing so I hear a tap on my door.
Oh god, this is it. I slowly look up and see it's Xander.
Of course, he would drop by my office. I take in his appearance and he looks the same wearing a grey fitted suit and black skinny tie with his hair pushed to the side but under his eyes are small circles.
I'm assuming that he hasn't gotten much sleep this past weekend.
"Natalia, can we talk in my office?" He asks uncertainly.
"Yes," I say as I get up from my office chair to meet him by my door.
As we walk I know he can only want to talk to me about that night.
When we reach his office I'm trying my hardest to stay neutral by sticking to my plan for him to talk first.
Xander opens the door for me and closes it behind him, he then gestures for me to sit down which I oblige.
His office is much larger than mine, he has a larger view of downtown.
Xander's office is also minimally decorated which makes sense since his bedroom is decorated the same way.
The only furniture he has is the same as mine but the only difference is that he has a couch with a small coffee table next to the entryway in his office, and he has a larger desk.
Xander decides on sitting in the chair next to me which surprises me.
I feel my neutral wall start to crumble with him because he is so close. Feeling my nerves kick in I ask.
"What do you want to talk about?" I know what he wants to talk about but I want him to say it first.
"I think you know just as well as I do what I want to talk about." He says looking into my eyes while stating the obvious.
"Which is?" I question while keeping my facade.
He takes in a breath to try and calm himself "Look I want to talk to you about Friday night." He finally confesses.
"What about it?" Continuing to keep my composure. I truly wish he could just spit it out.
"You are definitely making this difficult." He laughs.
"I just want to hear what you have to say," I tell him earnestly. The only way to get him to talk is to lay out all of my cards. I want him to know what my thoughts are but I need him to earn that privilege. As stubborn as that sounds it's the only way I can approach him.
"Before we discuss that night can I ask you something? And I want you to answer honestly." He asks while he continues to look at me with his green eyes.
"Go ahead," I say wanting to know what he has to ask.
"After what we..." He pauses before continuing, "After what we did that night you were gone. Why did you leave?" He asks while looking at the floor in front of him.
"I didn't stay because I wasn't sure if I could." I simply say.
Xander looks up at me and says, "What the hell do you mean, of course, I wanted you to stay."
Looking confused I say, "I'm sorry but you didn't give me a reason to."
"Your joking right?" He asks with a laugh, "I thought what I said to you was enough to get you to stay."
"Wait! What?" I ask in confusion.
"I meant what I said when I told you I was falling for you." Xander calmly explains. "I want you to know that my feelings for you never changed since that night."
I'm in shock because I had my doubts. Taking in my silence and shocked expression Xander moves closer towards me. He then uses his hands to place them on my cheeks. His touch sends little sparks of electricity through my body. I then look up at him placing my hands on top of his.
"Do you feel the same way?" He asks and I mentally slap myself. Of course, I do, my feelings are the same ever since I met him. How can he not see that?
"Of course I do," I say to him and I hear him exhale in relief.
"Then you shouldn't have left." He says calmly. I really hate myself for not saying anything. A moment later, Xander asks, "So where do we go from here?" That is the question I myself don't have the answer to.
"I don't know." I say truthfully "I wish... I wish you weren't married." I say quietly to myself.
I slowly pull my hands away but Xander holds them together in his own hands. "I know." He answers back while looking away from me.
"You know there is no future for us because your married to Olivia." Stating the inevitable.
"What if there was a chance." I look up at him with curiosity.
"What do you mean?" I ask.
"I have a plan to finish things off with Olivia but I need time," Xander says.
"It's an ideal thought but Xander there is no future for us," I say once again.
"Trust me that there is a way you'll just have to give me time." He half pleads and half demands.
"I want this to work but-" Before I can finish my thought I hear the door open and instantly Xander pulls himself away from me. I look up to see Olivia herself dressed in a short tweed mini skirt suit and a black turtleneck top. Well, at least she's somewhat dressed appropriately.
"Am I interrupting anything?" She says with a fake smile.
"No we were just finishing up, Olivia why are you here?" Xander asks.
"Well, I got bored on my trip and I decided I wanted to go home." She says "Since I'm here, why don't we have lunch?" She asks.
"Yeah sure it's not for another couple of hours so why don't you hang out in the lounge?" Xander asks unsure how to occupy her.
"Okay fine," Olivia says and heads back out the door. I hear her heels move away from the door indicating she has left.
"I guess I'll get going," I say unsure what else to do. As I'm getting up from the chair I feel Xander grab my arm to stop me.
"Please Natalia." Xander pleads.
"I don't know Xander," I sigh.
"Just say you'll think about." He says.
"Fine. I will." I look up and notice hope in his eyes.
He then releases me from his grip and I walk out of his office.
As if I was holding my breath the entire time I take deep breathes trying to clear my nerves.
I want to give him time because that means we could be together and that's what I think I want.
As I ponder through our conversation I go back to my office to try and bury myself into work.
Hours later in the midst of going through my string of calls and schedules, I hear a light knock at my door. I look up to see it's Olivia. Great. What would she want this time?
"Hey, Olivia," I say welcoming her to my office but she continues to stand by my door.
"So can I ask for a favor?" She asks without addressing me.
"What is it?" I say as kindly as I can muster.
"I bought my husband some food for lunch and I need you to re-heat it since his lunch hour is coming up." She simply demands.
"Why can't you do it?" I ask.
"Well, I'm not familiar with the building." Olivia states.
Of course, she isn't familiar with the building because she has only visited his work a hand full of times.
"Fine. Where's the food?" I ask giving in to her demand.
"By the waiting area on the coffee table." She directs "Let me know when it's done."
"Okay." I see her turn around and walk down the hall back towards the elevators.
I look at the clock and notice Xander's lunch is in 10 minutes so I put aside my work to go run Olivia's demand.
When I reach the waiting room outside by the offices I grab the two bags of food.
As soon as I grab them I immediately smell mushrooms and alarm bells ring in my head.
I remember that Xander is allergic to mushrooms.
I can't believe how reckless she can be to give her husband mushrooms of all things.
Instead of heating the food I take the elevator downstairs towards the lounge.
I immediately spot Olivia on her phone typing away.
I walk towards her wanting to ask why she was about to give Xander food he was allergic to.
"Hey, Olivia," I say trying to catch her attention from her phone.
"Oh hey, is it done?" She asks.
"No, I can't reheat the food because it contains mushrooms." Gesturing at the food as I explain.
"You can't or won't? I don't see what the problem is." She says in a loud voice.
"I can't because he's allergic to mushrooms. Did you now know that?" I ask in disbelief.
"No...I didn't know that." She says in almost embarrassment. I can't believe how she could be so ignorant of her husband. Olivia recovers quickly from her slight embarrassment. "Well, I'm sure you can get us a table at the nearest restaurant." She half suggests and half demands.
"Fine. Let me see what I can do." I say exhausted.
Luckily for me, I have my cellphone on me and search through my contacts to find the owner of the restaurant down the street.
After addressing my situation to the owner and request a special table reserved for Xander and his wife, he says he'll make it happen.
The owner of the restaurant knows Xander personally from when Xander offered to cut a good deal for his building.
I hang up to see Olivia looking at me. Possibly expecting me to fail in front of her.
"So did you get it?" She asks in a huff.
"Yes, the reservations are set," I say while messaging my temples. I swear Olivia can give me a migraine.
"Good," Olivia says and sits back in her seat from before.
Knowing her she isn't going to thank me for helping her.
"You can go now." She says waving me away.
I turn around and head back upstairs after rolling my eyes when she's not looking.
On my way back to the office I walk past Xander and he stops himself to turn around and face me.
"You know your wife almost poisoned you with mushrooms," I comment.
"Seriously?" He asks in disbelief.
"Oh yes, she did! She apparently didn't get the memo of your allergies, so I got you two reservations." I explain.
"I believe you thanks for your help." He says.
"No problem. Have a good lunch." I turn around to head back to my office but I take a quick glance towards Xander's way and I notice he is staring at me.
I look away feeling a little flustered but I pretend to not notice it.
When I'm inside my office I continue keeping busy until it's time for me to leave.
When I get home my feet feel like led and I make the decision to take off my heels off as I enter the door.
Before I head to my room I notice Trina sitting by the counter with her laptop running.
"Hey!" I say getting her attention.
"Hey, how did your day go?" She asks probably wanting to know what Xander said to me.
"Well, it was okay," I say.
"What happened with Xander? What did he say?" Just as I thought.
"He said he still has feelings for me and wants more," I try to explain.
"Wait so he wants to be with you but he's still with Olivia. How would that work?" She asks mirroring my confusion from earlier today.
"Yeah he wants to move forward but he promises he could make it work as long as I give him time. If I do I have to trust that he is doing whatever it is to give us a future. Whatever that means."
"Is he being cryptic or something? Well if you two want to move forward I think it's best that Olivia is out of the picture completely." Trina suggests.
"I know! I really want to be with him but why is this so frustrating?" I rhetorically ask.
"Well, whatever you decide I just hope you brace yourself for everything. Knowing that he is married and the youngest photographed billionaire I want you to brace yourself for whatever is thrown at you." She says and I understand her concern. She's always looking out for me whereas my father didn't.
"I know but I think I've made my decision I just wish he wasn't married at all," I say and continue to tell Trina the things Olivia did when she came to the office not knowing her husband is allergic to mushrooms.
"How am I not surprised she would do that! She is his wife yet she doesn't give an interest in knowing his allergies? I swear she doesn't deserve him." Trina comments.
"I know right! Thanks for listening to me ramble on about him." I confess.
"Hey, I'm here for you and trust me my life is boring compared to yours." She reassuringly says.
"Well thanks again. I think I'll make a quick dinner since I'm getting a little exhausted."
"Go ahead! Also, I went and got the mail. There is a letter for you." She says while handing me the envelope off the counter.
"Thanks." I head to my room and notice that the letter is from my gynecologist.
I rip open the envelope to read the letter.
It says that I am needed for a rescheduled visit.
Shit. I forgot about my birth control shots.
I must have forgotten about it with all of the things I had to deal with this past weekend.
I'll have to schedule it soon. I set the paper down and head to the kitchen for some food.