Chapter 5
Cole
“Y ou’re the most fuckable single female in Crystal Fork,” I grumbled as I sat down on a piece of exercise equipment near the stationary bike that Lauren was riding in my gym. “Why in the hell would you need help finding a guy?”
I immediately noticed that she was wearing socks but no shoes, which was probably why she’d chosen to ride the bike.
I knew she liked to walk because I’d seen her walking around Crystal Fork whenever it was warm enough.
Apparently, she’d opted for the bike instead of the treadmill because she’d been wearing boots when she’d arrived at my ranch.
It wasn’t easy walking on a treadmill with boots on.
Okay, I should have just let the boyfriend comment go and not followed her to the lower level.
I should have stayed out of it and let it slide.
Nope! I hadn’t been able to just shut up and ignore it.
I’d pulled on some jeans and a sweatshirt moments later and followed her downstairs.
She’d meant it as a joke.
But damned if I could just ignore a comment like that .
Joke or not, there was obviously some truth in her statement, and I wanted to know why.
I did owe Lauren, and I hated to be in someone’s debt.
She hadn’t needed to stay here and take care of me.
She could have just dropped the things Millie had given her and hightailed it back to Crystal Fork. She probably could have gotten home before the storm had gotten bad.
I would have lived through the high fever, but I probably would have been miserable for a lot longer had she not kept me hydrated and shoved pills down my throat.
I didn’t exactly feel fantastic, but my head was together again, and I was ambulatory and moving around thanks to her.
Hell, most people in Crystal Fork wouldn’t have even ventured onto my property because they thought I was a murderer, much less spent time here to help me.
The fact that Lauren had absolutely zero fear of me intrigued the hell out of me.
Her eyes had widened and she finally snorted.
“You’re joking, right? I’m plain, boring, and just a little bit too plump.
I haven’t turned a single male head since I moved back to Crystal Fork.
I’m pretty much invisible. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not completely down on myself.
I’m smart, and I think I’m a good person, but I suck at any kind of romantic relationship.
I always have. I’m a complete geek. Men just don’t… find me attractive.”
Holy fuck! Did she really believe that bullshit?
I watched her pedal for a moment.
She didn’t meet my gaze, and she looked like she was embarrassed because she’d said anything.
Apparently, she did believe exactly what she’d said.
“Men find you attractive,” I told her. “But you have a genius IQ, you’re beautiful, you’re highly educated, and you’re successful. Most guys probably find that pretty intimidating.”
I could guarantee that every single guy in Crystal Fork had noticed her.
They’d probably just been afraid to approach her.
She shook her head. “I don’t think I’m unapproachable. I’m a geek, but it’s not like I don’t have perfectly normal conversations. I apply most of my intelligence to my job. I have the same emotions, concerns, and fears that other people do.”
“Doesn’t matter,” I said in a rough voice before I started coughing. I finally swallowed and finished my comment. “You’re still intimidating.”
Her eyes locked on my face with genuine concern. “You’re still sick. Maybe you should go rest for a while. You really shouldn’t be up and around yet.”
I grimaced.
She was an interesting woman.
The moment I’d started to cough, her entire focus had been about my health instead of our previous conversation.
I ignored her suggestion. “Is that what you really want? You want a boyfriend?”
She shrugged. “Just once, I’d like to have a guy who actually sees me.
I don’t think it’s going to happen, but I’d like to see what that feels like for once in my life.
Someday, I’d like to have a partner. I’m in my thirties and I’d also like to have a child someday.
If the boyfriend and husband thing doesn’t happen for me, I’ll probably try to adopt.
There are a lot of kids out there who need a stable home. ”
Christ! She said that like it was almost a done deal.
For some reason, I hated that.
I hated the fact that she didn’t think she was attractive or interesting enough to find a boyfriend and a life partner.
I hated every man who had never seen her or made her feel like she was beautiful and special.
I suddenly realized that I actually liked Lauren, and I could count the people I liked on one hand.
I wanted to reciprocate her kindness to me, but I had no fucking idea how to do that.
I wanted her to know that she was hot as fuck and that there was nothing wrong with her.
“I’m a guy, and I think you’re the most attractive woman I’ve ever met,” I said honestly before I could stop myself.
She snorted again. “Please,” she said drily. “We’ve met more than once previously, and you were a jerk to me.”
Yeah, I probably had been.
“That’s my normal personality,” I informed her stiffly. “I’m not a charming or engaging guy.”
I didn’t completely trust anyone except Asher, and I had very few people that I could call friends.
I sucked at casual conversation and making small talk.
I was a loner, and I liked it that way.
“I didn’t hear you asking me out,” she said teasingly, like she hadn’t believed a single word I’d said about her being attractive.
“I don’t date, and I don’t do relationships,” I said flatly.
“Why?” she asked.
“It makes life less complicated and messy,” I said grumpily, annoyed that Lauren had blown off my comment about finding her attractive.
She wasn’t buying it.
Hell, did she think I was just being nice or something?
Yeah, she probably did.
She had no idea that I was never nice.
If I said something, I meant it.
“Everyone’s life is complicated and messy at times,” she told me.
“Not mine,” I informed her. “The flu threw me off my game, but I’m usually pretty regimented, and I stick to my schedule. I’m only close to my brother, and he operates the same way I do. No bullshit. No drama. I don’t do complicated or messy.”
She shot me a questioning look. “That sounds pretty…boring and emotionless.”
I raised a brow. “Exactly. No highs or lows. Just smooth sailing most of the time. At least in my personal life.”
She frowned. “But that also means you have no love. No joy. And no happiness.”
I shrugged. “Who says that peace and normality doesn’t make someone happy?”
It definitely worked for me.
I’d had a hellish childhood full of fear, uncertainty, and pain.
Having a normal adulthood that was peaceful was pretty damn blissful to me.
“Does that make you happy?” she asked in a curious tone.
Happy?
I’d honestly never thought about happiness.
Just having my sanity and peace of mind had always been more than enough for me.
I let out an uncomfortable cough that wasn’t completely due to my illness.
I wasn’t used to talking to anyone about my life or anything remotely personal.
If anyone else except Lauren were asking that question, I would have ignored it.
Honestly, I would have shut anything personal down before this discussion had ever started.
There was just something genuine and kind about the woman in front of me that made me want to talk to her.
Hell, that had never happened to me before, and I wasn’t sure if I liked feeling that way.
Nevertheless, I still wanted to try to explain myself to Lauren for some damn reason I didn’t understand.
“I think you have some idea what it was like when we were growing up here years ago,” I said honestly. Everyone in Crystal Fork knew that my father was a raging alcoholic and an asshole. “I appreciate not having chaos and madness in my adult life.”
“I get that,” she said without any judgment in her tone. “I guess I just hate to see anyone trade happiness for peace and solitude. It gets lonely. I know that because I’ve done it. I think it’s possible to have both of them most of the time.”
“What do you know about solitude?” I scoffed.
“A lot, actually,” she answered in a contemplative voice.
“I lost my parents when I was eight, and then I lost my older brother when I was barely eighteen. I was completely alone in the world after that, and I had to pick up and move to the city for college after spending my whole life in a small town in Montana. I felt pretty lost and pretty lonely for a long time. Tanner kept an eye on me, and I talked to Millie fairly often, but I still felt isolated and scared. I didn’t make friends easily, and I never fit into the typical college life.
I was always considered a geek. I didn’t party, and I had to work while I was in school.
I had scholarships, but the only funds I had was money Keith had saved for me for college. ”
“Tanner didn’t contribute?” I asked.
I couldn’t claim to know any of my cousins well, but Millie had told me that Tanner and Lauren had formed a really close relationship since Keith’s death.
“He and Millie both offered to help me with college, but I told them I was fine. I couldn’t take their money, Cole.
I love all of the Remingtons like family, but they aren’t my blood relatives.
I’m still paying off student loans, but I was perfectly capable of making it on my own.
Even though I wouldn’t take their money, Millie and Tanner were extremely generous with gifts and things they thought I might need while I was in school.
Tanner paid for a lot of things for me that he really didn’t need to pay for.
He’s been good to me from the day I lost my brother.
And Millie started even before that, when I lost my parents. ”
“Does Tanner know that you were working while you were in college and that you still owe on student loans?” I asked gruffly.
“No!” she exclaimed. “And you have to promise not to tell him. He’d pay off those loans in a heartbeat, and I’d hate that.
I’m proud of the fact that my education was something I did mostly on my own.
Tanner has done enough for me. He would have bought my house here if I’d let him.
He doesn’t know when to stop. I’m trusting you with this information.
I make good money now. I don’t need help.
I shared the information with you so you could understand that I really do know what it’s like to be alone. ”
Honestly, I’d never been completely alone. I’d always had Asher.
In some ways, Lauren had been more alone than I’d ever been.
It couldn’t have been easy for her to leave Crystal Fork by herself when she was still basically a kid. She’d left everything she knew while she was still grieving the loss of her only living relative.
“I would never tell him something you told me,” I assured her. “And I don’t exactly chat with him on a daily basis. For what it’s worth, I think it’s pretty incredible that you’ve become so damn successful on your own. You’ve accomplished a lot for your age.”
She smiled. “Not as much as you have.”
“I’m older, and I had Asher. We were a power team.” I paused before I asked, “You don’t feel alone anymore?”
She shook her head. “I’m home now. The Remingtons are my adopted family, and we spend a lot of time together.
I also have good friends here. I feel like I’m back where I belong.
I missed the wide-open spaces of Montana, and I really missed being able to ride.
I’m a lot less lonely here than I was in Boston.
Yeah, I wish that I had a prospective partner, but I’m getting pickier as I get older. I want someone who really wants me .”
As far as I was concerned, that was probably every single guy in town.
They were just too damn afraid to approach Lauren and get to know her.
“I’m surprised the town matchmakers aren’t trying to hook you up,” I said drily.
Crystal Fork was notorious for the older married women here who felt like they had to hook up every single male and female in the small town.
Lauren was getting winded and sweaty, so she started to slow her speed.
“They tried,” she said. “I even did a few of the blind dates that they set up, but they were a disaster. We didn’t click, and it was really uncomfortable.
I don’t think any of those guys were attracted to me, and I wasn’t feeling it, either.
I flatly refused to let them do any further matchmaking with me.
If there’s someone out there for me, I guess we’ll just have to meet each other in person and decide we like each other. ”
Holy fuck! Who in the hell had they set Lauren up with?
Any guy who didn’t do everything possible to get her interested was a complete moron.
In my mind, they weren’t good enough for her in the first place.
Fuck! It irritated the hell out of me that not one single male in Crystal Fork had given Lauren the attention she deserved.
If I was a different kind of guy…
If I wasn’t considered a murderer by most of the town…
If I thought Lauren was even minutely interested in me…
Maybe.
Maybe I’d break all of my rules and ask her out on a date.
I watched as she slowed to a stop.
Christ! Even after working out, she was the hottest woman I’d ever seen.
I wanted to see her hot, sweaty, and naked in my bed after she’d been screaming my name and having the best orgasms of her entire life.
My gut clenched, and my cock was standing at attention.
Sick or not, Lauren could do this shit to me without even trying.
Forget it, Remington. Not going to happen.
I wanted to fuck Lauren Collier more than I’d ever wanted a woman in my entire life, but the truth was…I definitely wasn’t good enough for her, and that was never going to change.