Chapter 8
Cole
“A re you sure you don’t want to come to The Mug And Jug for a drink tonight?” I asked Asher as we talked at his place on Saturday.
He was finally back in Montana, and he didn’t have any plans to travel for business in the near future.
It was still morning, so we’d settled into a pair of recliners in his living room to drink a mug of coffee.
His coffee wasn’t quite as good as mine, but it was drinkable.
“Hell, no,” he grumbled after he swallowed a mouthful of coffee. “I have nothing against our cousins, but I have no desire for a family reunion. It’s not like we really knew them as kids. I’ll pass.”
Even as I’d asked that question, I’d already known what Asher’s answer would be.
I worried about Asher sometimes.
We were both distant, unpleasant, and solitary, but Asher took that attitude to a whole new level.
He’d been a workaholic most of his life.
Yeah, I’d always worked hard, too, but occasionally, I did take the time to do things I enjoyed.
Asher…didn’t.
If I didn’t know my brother, I’d probably think that he was an unfeeling robot.
We’d both learned to bury our emotions a long time ago, but Asher did it so well that it was scary.
Asher and I were tight, but I knew there were some things that I didn’t know about our younger years, and that was one thing that my brother had never wanted to talk about with me.
I’d asked him many times just how much he’d protected me when we were young. He just gave me his standard answer, telling me that if he had been a better protector, I would never have been abused by our father at all.
That statement always pissed me off.
Asher was only two years older than me, and there had been absolutely nothing he could have done to protect me any better than he had.
“Our cousins are decent guys,” I told Asher. “And Aunt Millie has been good to me.”
At one time, I’d been certain that I had nothing in common with my cousins.
Asher and I had finally gotten advanced college degrees, but ours had come through work and sweat when we were younger. We’d taken classes when we were able to, along with our full-time jobs.
My brother and I were blue-collar men who had worked our way into a better life.
We weren’t Ivy League guys like my cousins, nor were we raised with any kind of manners, kindness, or refinement.
It was only recently that I’d started to think a little differently.
I wasn’t so sure we had absolutely nothing in common anymore.
“I’m glad you’re going,” Asher said stoically. “I think you should get to know them. It will be good for you.”
I shot him a questioning look. “But it wouldn’t be good for you?”
He shrugged. “You know how I am.”
Yeah, I did, and it worried me.
My brother needed to learn how to relax once in a while.
“What finally made you decide to accept an invitation to The Mug And Jug with the family?” Asher asked me.
We’d both been invited to nights at The Mug And Jug with our cousins, and we’d always refused.
“The invite didn’t come from the family this time,” I told Asher grudgingly.
It wasn’t like I didn’t want to tell Asher what had changed my mind, but I really didn’t understand what had happened myself.
I was dead set against hanging out in town when I didn’t have to, yet I’d tossed out that dinner invitation to Lauren without really thinking it through.
That definitely was not like me.
After swallowing a slug of coffee, I explained to my brother what had happened when I’d been really sick with the flu.
After that, I told him how I’d asked Lauren to dinner and accepted her invitation to have drinks at The Mug And Jug.
Asher raised a brow when I’d finally stopped talking. “So you didn’t accept the family invitation. You wanted to see more of Lauren Collier.”
“I like her,” I admitted. “She’s never believed that we killed our father, and she didn’t have to stay at my place when I was sick. She could have just dumped the stuff that Millie sent and hightailed it back to town.”
“True. Are you attracted to her?” Asher asked.
I nodded. “More than I’ve ever been to any other woman. Before you tell me to be careful, I already know that she’s off-limits for anything other than friendship. She’s too close to our cousins, and our father nearly molested her when she was young.”
“Nearly?” Asher questioned.
Asher had always known what had happened with Lauren that day. I’d told him right after it had happened.
Like me, he’d always wondered just how far our father had gone before I’d found him in the barn with Lauren.
“He didn’t have a chance to do anything but some inappropriate talk,” I informed my brother.
“Thank fuck!” Asher growled. “She told you that?”
“Yeah,” I assured him. “I had to ask because we’ve always wondered. The bastard didn’t have a chance to touch her. She was scared, but she didn’t have to live with the memories of being molested by our father.”
I could visibly see some of the tension draining out of Asher’s expression.
My brother might seem like an unemotional and cold asshole to most people, but I wasn’t most people. I could read the subtle signals that he didn’t show to anyone else but me.
He cared about a lot of things, but he made damn sure that nobody saw those emotions.
“You couldn’t have picked a different woman to lust after?” Asher asked drily. “What’s the point of spending time with her if you think she can never end up in your bed?”
I shrugged. “I have no fucking idea. I’ve asked myself that a thousand times already.
Asking her to dinner was an impulsive move, and I don’t usually act on impulse.
We’ll have dinner and a drink, and that will be the end of it.
It would be damn hard to have a female friend who I constantly want to fuck. ”
“She’s smart,” Asher mused. “And she’s a well-respected economist. She might be an interesting woman to have as a friend.”
“Not happening,” I grumbled. “Lauren wants a forever partner someday. I definitely wouldn’t have the patience to give her advice on finding one.”
Asher smirked. “Why do I have a feeling you wouldn’t have the patience because you’d rather be the guy dating her?”
“I don’t date, and I don’t do relationships,” I reminded him flatly. “You know that.”
“You haven’t ,” he agreed. “But that doesn’t mean that you can’t .”
I glared at Asher as he sent me a questioning look.
“That kind of relationship would require some kind of trust,” I said irritably.
“I think you could trust the right woman,” Asher said thoughtfully. “There’s nothing wrong with trusting someone who’s worth trusting, Cole.”
“I’m broken, Asher. You know that.”
He shook his head. “You might be bent up, but you’re not broken. Not like I am. There’s no reason why you can’t have a woman who would make you happy. Hell, you could have kids and a real life if you want it. There’s nobody who would like to see that for you more than I do.”
“I know,” I answered gruffly.
My brother and I had engaged in this conversation before.
He wanted something for me that he didn’t think he was capable of having himself.
Ever.
“Don’t close yourself off from the possibility completely,” Asher advised.
“You do,” I reminded him.
“I have my specific reasons for that,” he replied grimly. “A relationship would never work for me, and I’ve always been okay with that.”
I wanted to ask him why.
I wanted to know those specific reasons.
But I knew I’d get the same damn vague answers I always got.
I’d been abused as a kid, but my asshole father had never sexually abused me.
I wasn’t entirely sure that I could say the same for Asher, even though he’d never admitted that our father had sexually abused him at some point in our childhood.
Asher and I didn’t bullshit each other, but for some reason, I wasn’t sure that he’d told me everything about our early childhood. He was exceptionally vague on our younger years.
We both liked our personal space because of our past abuse, but Asher took that need for personal space to a whole different level.
He managed to shake hands with business associates when necessary, but in general, he didn’t like to be touched.
That had to make getting laid incredibly…difficult.
I knew my brother wasn’t a virgin, but I had to wonder if he’d ever really had good, down-and-dirty sex.
We were close, but we’d always drawn the line at discussing our sex lives in detail.
“Yeah, well, maybe I have my reasons for wanting to avoid relationships, too,” I grumbled. “It’s too complicated and it’s too damn risky.”
“Until a woman comes along who’s worth taking that risk,” Asher commented. “You’ve never impulsively done anything in your entire life, but you asked Lauren out even though you think she’s off-limits. I know you, Cole. It was out of character for you.”
“I think I’m safe from that lapse in judgment,” I scoffed.
“I don’t think Lauren even realized that I was asking her out on a date.
I’m pretty sure she thinks I’m just trying to pay her back for taking care of me when I was sick.
She offered to just meet me at Charlie’s, like it would be two acquaintances getting together for dinner and a drink.
She’s drop-dead gorgeous, but she doesn’t think she’s attractive.
She’s not the kind of woman who would throw herself at me simply because she wants a billionaire. ”
Hell, I was almost positive that Lauren hadn’t even realized that she got my dick hard yet.
My mind went back to those moments when she’d wrapped her arms around me right before she’d left my house.
There had been absolutely no sexual meaning in her actions.
She’d been trying to comfort me.
Comfort me.
Cole Remington.
Billionaire asshole extraordinaire.
That would have been laughable if it hadn’t been so damn…sweet.
Those fleeting moments had meant something that had nothing to do with carnal desire.
Asher stroked his fingers over the faded burn scar on his face, a subconscious action that happened every so often.
The mark wasn’t completely disfiguring, but it was noticeable if someone got close enough to Asher to really see it.
He swore he didn’t really remember how my father had given him that scar, but Asher definitely knew it was still there.
I suspected that he hated that reminder of our past.
“Try not to overthink the whole situation for once in your life,” Asher suggested. “Nothing is impossible if you want it badly enough. I think we’ve already proved that.”
We had.
Asher and I had come from less than nothing, and we’d succeeded beyond our wildest dreams with hard work and stubborn persistence.
“Getting involved with someone is a little different than financial success,” I told him. “This isn’t going to turn into anything except dinner and a drink.”
“There’s going to be talk if you two are seen together,” Asher warned me.
My body stiffened. “I’m aware of that. I already gave the same warning to Lauren.”
“And?” Asher prompted.
I told him exactly what Lauren had said about the possible gossip.
“Good,” he said gruffly. “If she doesn’t give a damn, then you shouldn’t either.”
I tossed back the last of my coffee.
I probably shouldn’t, but there was a small part of me that did care.
The town gossip could hurt sometimes, even when you tried to convince yourself that it didn’t matter.
It had been painful when I was a teenager and had been accused of my father’s murder.
Now, I was so hardened that I really didn’t give a shit about what people said about me.
Lauren was a different story.
She might say that she didn’t mind the cruel words of the people in Crystal Fork, but she’d never been the subject of the town gossip.
The constant rumors could get fucking brutal.
That was exactly why I needed to get my dick in check and my head together.
Lauren Collier didn’t deserve to be torn apart by the bullshit talk in this town simply for hanging out with a guy like me.
After tonight, I needed to stay away from Lauren Collier, and something told me that was going to be a hell of a lot harder than it should be.