Chapter 24
Cole
“I wish your mom had left some clues as to what happened all those years ago,” Lauren said as we sat at The Mug And Jug late the next morning.
“I recently started going through Keith’s old journals and it’s like I’m discovering a part of my brother that I never knew.
Maybe it was the age difference between us or the fact that he had to become like a parent to me, but he talks a lot about what it was like after my parents died.
He writes about things that we never talked about.
I don’t think he journaled before that. Maybe he needed some kind of outlet after they passed away.
It’s weird getting to know him as an adult.
I cherish every word of those journals now. ”
I watched as Lauren took a sip of her coffee at the quiet table we’d snagged earlier.
We’d come damn close to not making it for a cinnamon roll this morning.
Once I’d been with Lauren, I hadn’t been able to get enough of her. We’d done plenty to make up for lost time.
So much so that I’d been afraid she’d end up so sore that she couldn’t walk, so I’d forced myself out of bed to bring her into town.
Not that she’d been complaining, but the poor woman needed a break.
She mentioned that she’d finally found out what she was missing, but I was pretty sure I’d had a little of that self-discovery myself.
I had plenty of sexual experience, but being with a woman had never been quite like it was with Lauren for me.
“You’ve never read those journals before?” I asked her curiously.
She shook her head. “I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
It was too painful. I’ve carried them around with me for over a decade.
I felt like it was finally time to start reading them now.
I’m kind of glad I waited. I think I appreciate and understand them now that I’m more mature.
I used to see Keith through a child’s eyes. Now I understand him as an adult.”
“It definitely would have helped if my mother had left some kind of written record, like a diary or letters. I think Asher is going to search a small part of Millie’s property and then he’s going to be done with his search. We’ve covered our property pretty well.”
Lauren cocked her head. “You’re glad about that, aren’t you? I can hear the relief in your voice.”
Fuck! This woman was getting to know me far too well.
“It’s time,” I said flatly. “I’m tired of watching Asher trying and failing.
He swears he’s resigned to never finding my mother, but I honestly think it kills him every time he doesn’t find her.
We need to let it go. We don’t have to wonder if she left us or abandoned us.
We already know she didn’t. She died the day our father said that she left us.
There was never a trace of her after that.
Yeah, it would have been nice to put her to rest the way she deserved near her family in the Crystal Fork Cemetery, but maybe that just can’t happen.
If our mother really loved us, there’s no way she’d want Asher to be putting himself through this kind of hell to find her.
I don’t remember her that well, but Asher told me that all she ever wanted was for us to be happy.
He’s not happy. I think she’d hate that. ”
Lauren reached out and put her hand over mine on the table.
“I think you’re right. I understand wanting to try, but I think he needs to let it go now that he’s covered most of the old ranch acreage.
I wish it could have been different. I wish you both could have gotten your peace and closure, but I know your mom wouldn’t have wanted this to go on forever.
I’m not a mother, but I don’t think most parents would want that for their kids. ”
“You two are looking way too serious over here,” Silas said as he strolled over to our table. “Do you need some advice on something?”
Lauren tried to hide a smile as I looked over at her.
The elderly man was famous for handing out advice to anyone and everyone when he thought they needed it. Whether the person concerned wanted his advice or not.
I held up a hand. “I think we’re good, Silas,” I said firmly.
The older man shook his head. “I’m not sure what the problem is, but if you want some general advice, you two should be out enjoying the weather later today.
It’s supposed to be more like spring this afternoon.
That’s a rare March day for us. Maybe you could drag that brother of yours into town.
I’d like to see him. We used to get along good.
I’m not sure why he hasn’t visited. I never thought that he harmed your father. ”
Hell, the slightly hurt look on the elderly man’s face bothered me.
At one time, he and Asher had joked around and gotten along well.
My brother had usually valued Silas’s advice because he’d never had any kind of father figure in his life.
“It’s nothing personal, Silas,” I assured him. “Asher’s been busy with his businesses and his horses. He hates the town gossip.”
Silas rolled his eyes. “Don’t we all. But less and less people are paying attention to that nonsense now. It won’t be long before the gossips will find something new to talk about and forget all about the old rumors. Maybe then Asher will start coming around again.”
I wanted to tell Silas not to count on that, but I didn’t want to hurt his feelings.
At one time, Asher had tolerated people a lot better, and he’d been able to have a civilized conversation.
He’d always been an introvert, but he’d been socially functional.
Now, my brother had very little patience for anyone other than me.
I wasn’t sure exactly what had happened to Asher, but his really antisocial behavior had started not long after we’d moved to Austin.
It had gotten progressively worse over the years.
I’d tried to get to the bottom of it many times, but he took my head off every time I mentioned that he’d changed.
I’d learned to give him his space out of respect, but I still worried about him.
Obviously, we all changed as we got older, but his degree of isolation seemed a little too excessive, even for a guy as introverted as him.
I grinned at Silas. “We’re going to take that advice. Lauren and I are going to take a ride out to the river on my property this afternoon. It’s going to be too warm a day not to ride.”
The river that ran through our property was one of my favorite spots. Asher and I had made the river a dividing point between our properties, so he had one bank, and I had the other side.
It was the same river that ran through the Remington brothers’ properties and through Millie’s as well.
Silas beamed at me. “You always were a smart boy. You hooked up with the best available female in Crystal Fork, too. If you’re really smart, you’ll marry her before you get a ton of competition.”
I looked at Lauren, only to realize that she was actually blushing.
It was about the cutest thing I’d ever seen.
“We just started dating, Silas,” Lauren said in an admonishing voice.
“Don’t try to tell me that you two aren’t an item,” Silas drawled. “I might be old, but I’m not blind.”
“We’re definitely an item,” I told Silas. “And neither one of us is going to be dating anyone else.”
“Be good to her,” he told me. “When you strike gold, you guard that claim.”
Lauren folded her arms over her chest. “I’m not a gold claim, Silas.”
I winked at him. “She says that, but I plan on claiming her anyway. A guy knows when he’s gotten lucky.”
Silas patted Lauren on the shoulder. “Sorry that I compared you to a gold find. I was just trying to make Cole realize how valuable a good woman can be.”
Lauren huffed adorably, but I knew she wasn’t mad.
“I’ll get over it,” she said mildly.
She was basically humoring Silas because she quite obviously adored the man, even if he was a little outrageous sometimes.
Silas motioned toward the bar. “I got a few customers. You two have fun this afternoon. Be good to each other.”
I grinned at her once Silas had gone. “I think I’m about ready to get back to the ranch and start staking my claim.”
She tried to give me an annoyed look, but she failed miserably because she giggled right in the middle of trying to hold that look on her face.
“You’re impossible,” she scolded.
“That’s one of the things that you like about me,” I said as I got up and held my hand out to her.
She took my hand and let me pull her to her feet. “Sometimes,” she said noncommittally. “And if you insist on staking your claim, I’m not sure I’m going to be able to ride this afternoon.”
I sobered immediately as I wrapped my arm around her. “Are you hurting, angel?”
She beamed up at me. “A little. But I’m not complaining.”
Hell, maybe I’d been a little too rough on her the night before. It had probably been way too much for a woman who had practically been a virgin, for fuck’s sake.
“A short ride and plenty of time in the hot tub later,” I said huskily. “Staking my claim isn’t going to happen anytime soon.”
The last thing I wanted was to see Lauren in pain because I couldn’t keep my dick in my pants.
I wasn’t quite sure how I was going to manage to keep my hands off her, but the thought of her being in pain would probably keep my dick in check. At least for a little while.