Chapter Ten #4
She’d spent her whole life being judged for her mother’s desertion by her father.
She couldn’t go through that again—it would destroy what was left of the woman she had discovered in his arms. The woman she might always have been meant to be—reckless, yes, impulsive, and so much like her mother, but also full of passion and hope and love.
‘This marriage can still end the scandal which has destroyed my family’s honour and reputation—and held my business back for fifteen years…’
‘But won’t my true identity only reignite the scandal?’ she said, trying to make some sense of what he was saying, while her mind was still reeling, her heart still in turmoil.
‘Not if we simply state that I knew who you were all along. A marriage between us can then create a new narrative—a love match between us will right the wrongs of our parents’ affair… And add a positive spin to the story before we part.’
‘B-but you don’t love me,’ she murmured, sickened by the brutal yearning in her heart. ‘You never did… You don’t even believe in love…’
‘That is easy enough to fake,’ he said. ‘Especially now we know what a good actress you are.’
She shuddered at the bitter tone.
‘I… I won’t do it,’ she said. ‘I can’t…’
But when she stepped away from him he clasped her upper arm, dragging her back until his mouth was so close to hers she could feel his breath on her lips.
‘Yes, you will. If you care about Ana, about Alejandro, about the future of this family.’
‘You… You know I do, but how can telling another lie make this okay?’
God, why had she ever agreed to go through with his marriage bargain? When she’d known she was falling in love with him weeks ago. Maybe even from the first moment he’d held her.
She sucked in a breath, struggled to free herself from his hold. But he held her too firmly.
‘Love is always a lie,’ he said, shattering any hope that might remain.
‘But whatever I have discovered today, I still want you, Cerys,’ he murmured, the heat in his eyes part promise, part threat.
‘That is one thing that has not changed.’ His gaze dropped to her breasts, which had peaked painfully beneath the thin silk, still yearning for his touch.
‘And it seems your body still wants me, too.’
She tugged free, scrambled back, stunned by the vicious spike of arousal, the melting sensation at her core.
‘I… I don’t care what my body wants,’ she said, because there was no point in lying, he knew her body too well. He was the only man who did. But where once his touch had given her such joy, all it did now was make her feel more ashamed.
‘I don’t want to hurt Ana, or your family’s reputation,’ she added, because she could see that he wasn’t wrong about the impact her real identity would make when the press broke the story—especially if they ever discovered that nobody had known her connection to Angharad Jones until today.
It wouldn’t just reignite the old scandal, it would affect Santiago’s reputation personally.
He would be viewed as a fool or, worse, a man like his father, too blinded by his own lust to be patient, to think coherently.
Her frantic mind tried to come up with a solution… But she couldn’t get past the reality that it wasn’t his fault she had lost her memory, any more than it was hers. And that he would never have proposed to her in the first place if he had known who she was.
‘We will make the marriage official and then honeymoon at the Isla de la Luna resort,’ he murmured, his voice so flat and his eyes so shuttered she could see nothing of the man she thought she knew.
‘Once we return in two weeks’ time, you can live at the castillo , I will live in Madrid, but we will continue to be seen in public, on occasion, until a divorce will not cause too many questions. ’
Two weeks? Could she survive for two weeks without letting him know the true depths of her feelings for him, and exposing herself even more?
She thought of all the years she had spent, hiding the hurt from her father, making herself believe it didn’t matter if he couldn’t see her.
That she didn’t need his approval, or his love.
And it occurred to her that by the time he had died, over six months ago now, none of that hopeful child had been left.
Perhaps going through with this charade for the sake of appearances, would cure the feelings she had developed for Santiago.
Feelings which she knew now would never be returned.
Even though going through that brutal rejection again would be so much worse, because Santiago had always been a better man than her father.
The next two weeks would force her to face the truth, and finally teach that na?ve, impulsive, reckless girl not to throw away her heart so easily, or trust too quickly.
Hopelessness engulfed her as she nodded.
‘I… I can give you two weeks to repair the damage my identity will cause to your family’s reputation,’ she said. ‘But I won’t sleep with you,’ she added hastily.
How could she, when she still yearned for his touch?
Something flickered in his eyes, something fierce and possessive, but it was gone so quickly she was sure she must have imagined it.
He touched his thumb to her cheek, slid it down to press against the pulse in her collarbone.
She pulled away, but the vicious jolt of reaction was impossible to disguise.
‘If this is what you wish, Cerys,’ he said, but she could see the cynical glitter in his eyes.
‘We will leave for Isla de la Luna as soon as your documents can be issued,’ he announced.
‘And I will have the legal team alter the prenuptial agreement—so the terms of our divorce are already agreed—which you will need to sign.’
The stabbing pain sharpened when suspicion flickered in his eyes.
She nodded. ‘Of course.’
Did he really believe she would refuse to sign it? That she would want to prolong this agony? Or profit from a marriage which was devoid of hope now?
As he strode away, her heart sank to her toes.
Because pretending not to want him—not to love him—when they were alone together was going to be the hardest lie to pull off of all…
But maybe if she could fake not loving him, not caring for him, or that little boy who had lost his trust in love so long ago—it might become true.