11. Chapter 11
OLIVER
Second, it was unfair.
Watching a show about two brothers living their best lives whilst being raised by a loving and supportive single parent forced me to identify the flaws between myself and my own single parent.
Instead, of having a mother who found a job that gave her the ability to earn money and still be there for her children when she needed to be.
I was raised by a mother who always put herself first, saw no flaw in moving her child from country to country every other month when her relationship at that time didn’t work out, so she needed a change in scenery, though she was lucky enough to have a job that allowed her to do so.
The third reason hurt the most when I was a child.
Unlike the famous twin duo, I had to endure my parents’ quirks without a companion, and it took many birthdays before I realised the twin I wished for was never going to happen.
So I dropped it, amongst other things and never asked for anything again.
I didn’t watch those kinds of family shows because I didn’t need to be reminded of how lonely my childhood was. I matured long before that TV show came around and had learned there were other ways to obtain a family member.
Now being much older, I took what I needed from my childhood and my mother and just got on with it.
Which didn’t turn out so bad, as I did end up getting my first taste of what having a brother was like through my friendship with Min-Joon and then again with Theo many years later, despite our twenty-six-year age gap; therefore, I suppose in some ways I did get one of my wishes.
But the moral of the story is that the idea of a family is utterly foreign to me. Before Theo came into my life, I never saw myself as the type to settle down, get married and have kids.
My career was what was important to me, and my main goal was to keep making efforts in that aspect of my life, but little did I know that all it took was a Live-In Nanny to disturb my sense of normal and painfully point out what I’ve been missing.
I don’t like it one bit.
My usual mornings entail Theo bursting in and jumping on me whether I’m in my bedroom or in my office, then we brush our teeth and head downstairs where I make his breakfast and myself a protein shake, get him ready for school, then we’re out the door by 7:50 am, I drop him off at school, and I head to work.
But with Luna here, my whole routine has been thrown out of balance.
This past week, she’s fallen into her new role.
In the mornings, I find myself getting an extra hour’s sleep before Theo comes in. By the time I’ve gotten ready for the day and headed downstairs, Theo has already been fed and dressed for school, waiting by the door, and my protein shake is already made and waiting for me on the counter.
Then I head towards the door to slip my coat on, and Luna appears out of nowhere with my shake and briefcase in hand, waiting for me to accept it.
She then proceeds to help me hoist Theo into the car and stands on the curb waving until we’ve driven up and off the road until I can no longer see her through the rear-view mirror, causing the ongoing fuss in my stomach to reappear.
Every time she wishes me a ‘good day’ at work, as she’d done on her first day.
I’d never once pictured myself as a man who wanted a wife, who stayed at home to tend to the children and be there waiting for me when I got home, because I’ve always been supportive of the working woman, including my mother, but something about having Luna around 24/7 is really unsettling and frankly?
It’s really starting to piss me off.
It had nothing to do with her because she was annoyingly perfect at her job, something that also grinds my gears.
I had expected her to make a mistake by now, that she’d have to call Nigel or me because she ran late picking up Theo, or she messed up whilst turning on the alarm system and needed help on how to fix it.
But nothing.
The woman was efficient and precise in every aspect, yet very quick to identify her flaws, which made things a lot less fun for me, like Monday evening, for example, after our awfully awkward hello when I returned home from work, she sent the rice dish she cooked flying around the kitchen, including the ceiling and a piece that attracted itself to her cheek.
It took every ounce of strength I had not to burst into laughter or give in to the urge to lick said food off her face. But I kept a stern stature and forced those impulses down as far as possible.
After succeeding yet again in getting Theo to try a new food, the two of them raced to the kitchen to add a new star to his chart and then upstairs, where she bathed him and got Theo ready for bed.
I dismissed her after that, as it was my job to read Theo his bedtime story before bed, but also because I could see how tired she looked from when I first saw her in the kitchen.
It was clear as day, hidden behind her awkward smile.
I may be cautious about this woman, but I knew first-hand how tiring it was taking care of Theo was, so I wasn’t surprised that she retreated straight to her room after Theo went to bed, nor did I complain when I made my way back downstairs to clean the kitchen and pack the dishwasher before heading back to the office for a few more hours of work.
However, receiving this email a few hours later just confused me.
Subject: It Won’t Happen Again
To: Oliverwalters@
From: LooneyLuna@
Dear Oliver,
I just want to say I’m deeply sorry about failing to do my job on the very first day.
It was my responsibility to clean up after myself, and I apologise that you felt the need to step in instead, despite how busy you must be.
I completely understand if you feel the need to deduct an hour from this month’s paycheck for insubordination.
I promise this will never happen again, and thank you again for giving me this opportunity.
Warmest regards,
Luna
It may or may not have been a mix-up that she used her personal email instead of something more formal, but I was using it as a great source of entertainment and a reminder of the other side she displayed when we first met.
Really brought her email handle to life, but the whole purpose of her email was completely unnecessary.
I wasn’t going to email her back to let her know that, but it was duly noted, and anyway, she got the message as she followed through every night after that.
When I came home, she had every room in the house spotless, as if it wasn’t derailed by the six-year-old living here or as if no one had cooked in the kitchen, because there wasn’t a single pot out of place.
But I hated it.
The laundry was always done, and she continued to leave my basket of clothes outside my room as I instructed, and never went into my room once.
I know because I always checked the surveillance first thing once I entered my office, to see if she was going to slip up, but apart from falling asleep after cleaning on her first day and spending a sufficient number of hours in the day writing in a pale green book, she had left in the living room once or twice; this woman did nothing out of the ordinary.
I was aware that her awkward behaviour on Tuesday morning was most likely due to the email she sent the night before, but I never mentioned it because I wanted as little communication with her as possible.
Which meant declining every offer to eat with her and Theo every night, but make no mistake, I enjoyed every bite of her vast selection of foods hours later and never replied to her ‘have a good day’ offer because I couldn’t stand to be around her or her suffocating strawberry scent.
Long story short, I was avoiding her and will continue to do so as I try to settle into my new normal. I am still in the middle of wondering whether hiring Luna was a good or bad thing.
I no longer had to worry about Theo, and because she did just as good a job as Min-Joon did, maybe even better, but bad because the odd few seconds she and I seemed to be alone for were far too unpredictable.
So far, I had done a great job at keeping my distance, but I did find myself looking forward to the next time her other side would pounce out or how her ‘good day wish’ always seemed to linger in my mind for far too long.
That is usually when I remind myself that I need to get laid and must get Nigel to set up my monthly hook-up once I am done here. It was Saturday evening; Theo and I had our usual Bro Day as we went to see Arsenal VS Man United, then went to the local burger joint for our usual late lunch.
The rest of the afternoon entailed Theo talking non-stop about his new babysitter all the way home and throughout the few games of Mario Kart I could tolerate without getting bored.
Not because I was no good at the game, just because games weren’t my thing, and I didn’t have the attention span required to play them.
And thanks to Theo, he had left me with Luna on the brain, after he’d said her name in every one of his sentences when he got frustrated with still not being able to do the trick Luna was teaching him.
He eventually ran upstairs to build his new Super Mario LEGO set I had Nigel buy him for getting through the first week with Luna, despite the small hitch that happened on Friday.
I headed into my office to go over the plan Nigel and I were finalising for Ms Henderson’s assault case in New York next weekend, when the conversation Luna had with me last night distracted my thoughts.
It happened as I was heading towards my office, and Theo had run upstairs to pick out his PJS for the night.
****
“Hey Oliver, could I talk to you for a second?” she asked politely whilst stepping into my space, as her fruit-like fragrance strangled my lungs.
“Sure,” I said, looking down at her. A simple one-word answer was all I could give as I tried to ignore the fact that she smelled like my favourite fruit.