Chapter 15 #2
Eyes wide, his little index finger pointed at all the posters you see as you go down, and the word “wow” left his lips more than twice. He is fascinated to see a big staircase moving on its own, how some people wait to get to the bottom, and others can’t wait, so they jog their way down.
Soon enough, we reach the bottom, and with a stroke of luck, the Tube pulls up.
Theo grips my hand tightly, staring at the red and white form of transport with both fear and amazement as the announcer informs us all about where this tube will take us.
I gently tug him forward as he watches the way other people step onto the tube, then follows in pursuit.
Once we’re on safely, I try to find us a seat while there are still people piling on. Luckily, one of the two gentlemen travelling together greets us with a smile and offers us both seats, but when I guide Theo to sit down, he shakes his head viciously, refusing to move.
I’m not sure if it’s nervousness or if he’s scared to sit on his own seat, so instead, I take a seat and pull him up to sit on my lap the moment the doors close, and the tube takes off.
At first, Theo is clutching my hand for dear life, but after a stop or two, when I show him the colourful map printed on the wall and show him how many stops we have to count, he quickly gets used to being here.
He isn’t bothered by the loud rattling sound of the tube racing through the dark tunnels of London, and instead makes many passengers laugh, as he counts down the stops and does his best to pronounce the stops by copying the announcer every time we reach a new station.
When we are about to reach our stop, Theo jumps off my lap, takes my hand and pulls me towards the doors.
As they open, Theo sings a big goodbye to everyone on the tube, making a few smiles and chuckles while we get off and walk towards the set of escalators that’ll get us out back onto the main road.
Theo almost can’t contain how excited he is to be closer to our destination and begs to be the one to beep my Oyster, although I was going to let him do it anyway. We race past the barriers before they close, and like earlier, Theo bursts into laughter as we walk hand in hand out of the station.
“That’s my favourite part!” he sings as we turn left and head down the road.
The care home is only a seven-minute walk from the station, and Theo spends every minute talking about how fun it was going on the Tube for the first time and how he wasn’t scared, even though we both know that isn’t entirely true.
By the time we reach the abandoned building next to the care home, Theo physically can’t keep still.
He’s skipping happily as I turn to glance at the worn-down building that has been like this for as long as I can remember.
Whenever I walk past this place, it just reminds me of what a waste of space it was, and if I had the money, I’d buy it, fix it up, maybe even make it an extension of the care home.
The children would have more space to sleep and play, and Tracy could take in more children like she always wanted, just as I slip into the sad thoughts of being too broke to make a change, Theo pulls me back by jumping in front of me and pointing up to the care home.
“Are we here??” he asks excitedly. I smile, pushing my recent thoughts to the back of my mind and nod back at him, still holding his hand as he jumps up each of the steps and helping him pull the door open as we head inside.
****
“Everyone, this is my friend Theo. I brought him along to play with you all today.” I explain, standing in the hallway with a smile, as Theo is attempting to hide behind my thigh and the children are either staring at the floor or trying to hide behind Oscar or each other.
The three adults in the room just smile, as it’s always the way for children to act shy around each other at first, but there is one child, the oldest, who isn’t shy at all.
“Come, Theo, we’ll show you all our toys!” Oscar grins, offering his hand. Theo instantly looks at me, not knowing what to do, but I give him an assuring smile and gently stroke his hair.
“Go on, it’s okay.” I nudge him as he looks at me one more time, then takes Oscar’s hand and the two of them bolt off towards the playroom with the rest of the children closely behind, screaming “Wait for me!”
Randall nods towards Tracy and me to let us know he’ll watch the children, then goes jogging after them. The faint sound of their screams and laughter fills the small home. It’s not until I watch Randall leave that I notice Tracy’s facial expression shift now that we’re alone.
“H-how is she?” I ask with a heavy heart, reminding myself that the newest addition to the care home had come the moment I got this job, so I can’t be here as much as I’d like to.
“She’s as okay as she can be.” Tracy mumbles, linking her arm with mine as she guides me upstairs to the children’s shared bedroom.
“She still isn’t eating much and won’t talk to any of the other children, but she has been getting a little more sleep, which is good,” she continues, doing what Tracy does best, always finding the silver lining no matter how bleak things may seem.
“Is she any better with Randall?” I ask as we reach the top of the stairs, and then stop outside the bedroom as Tracy shakes her head.
“He still can’t get near her without her bursting into tears or shaking like a leaf.
Poor thing, I know it breaks his heart, and this is a hard adjustment for her also.
But she has stopped screaming every time she sees him.
” Tracy explains, pulling open the door gently as we see a small figure bundled up under the covers on the bed in the back of the room.
“Mei? Someone is here to see you.” Tracy recites softly, as the little covers shuffle in hesitation, but as I step into the room, a little head appears from under the covers, and the moment our eyes lock, the duvet flies off the bed, and the sound of little padded feet comes racing towards me.
I am already on my knees as her tiny body wraps itself around me so tightly, with zero intention of letting go.
“Mei, how are you, sweetie?” I ask in Korean as she makes no attempt to respond and just grips me tighter.
But I don’t care; I channel all my energy into making this the best hug possible for being away from her for so long.
The poor thing is in clothes that are days old, and her hair hasn’t been done since I was here last week.
I can tell she’s been letting Tracy wash her and has been eating more, but it wasn’t enough improvement to unravel the anger I had inside.
Scooping her into my arms, I carry her towards the bathroom as Tracy goes to fetch her a new change of clothes. I manage to peel her away from me and carefully lift her jumper by the time Tracy comes back into the room.
The bath is set and ready to use; just as I’m helping her step out of her jeans, she finches, gripping my shoulders tightly as she notices Tracy’s presence.
“It’s okay! She won’t hurt you; do you want Tracy to go?
” I ask in Korean, while Tracy and I share a leap of happiness when she gives her head a little shake.
This is progress, but we still have a long way to go.
We’re able to get Mei into the bath a lot easier than we did last week.
She does, however, still flinch when her bruises touch the water. I can’t help but silently wince.
Tracy is a lot stronger than me, and working in this field for decades has allowed her to develop a thick skin when it comes to dealing with things like this, but I don’t think it’s something I’ll ever get over.
I will never understand how a human being could harm another like this, especially not their own child and no excuse in the world would ever change my mind. As Tracy and I give Mei a good clean and wash her hair, I’m honestly trying my hardest not to cry.
Thinking about when Mei first came here two weeks ago. The screams she let out, the fear in her eyes, after being abused by her father, all because her mother abandoned them both. The poor baby hadn’t even lived her life, but already looked as if it wasn’t worth living.
I’ll never forget the way she looked when I first saw her. Curled up and petrified, covered in dirt and bruises, her body shaking from the pain, but she wouldn’t let anyone touch her, and at first, I was one of those people.
Tracy told me that Mei understood basic Korean, having lived there before she and her father moved here a few months back; then he was arrested for child abuse, and Mei was placed here.
Her mother was Japanese, and her father was British, so she could understand both, but her Japanese was stronger.
I only knew a few words in Japanese, but yet again I was thankful Ji-ji had taught me how to speak his mother tongue because I still had a way of communicating with her.
We suspected she could be suppressing the part of her that was related to English because of that monster. That suspicion was confirmed by the way her eyes lit up when I spoke to her in a language only she and I could understand.
It broke my heart to leave her after she bonded with me so quickly, and it’s meant it’s a whole lot harder for Tracy to get through to her and even more so for Randall, who is sweeter than candy and so gentle, he wouldn’t hurt a fly; she still won’t let either of them near her.
What hurts more is that if she’d come to us before I’d accepted this job taking care of Theo, I could have been around more.
But I’ve been doing what I can to speak to Mei on the phone, trying to get her to open up to Tracy a bit more, and today is evidence that it has been working, slowly but surely.