43. Chapter 43 #3
“I wish you were here to tell me what to do, Ji-ji. I love Oliver, but I don’t want to get hurt again.
All I do want is to find the kind of love that you had with Gran, what LJ and Macy have, and just be happy.
” I admit, taking another sip of Soju, then tuck it away in my bag. I’d had my limit for today.
Hugging my knees to my chest, I stare down at my freshly painted toenails. Wiggling them into the plush of the blanket beneath me, getting a mani/pedi was much needed earlier.
Then, I glance up at Ji-ji’s grave. Sitting in silence before closing my eyes.
Imagining the advice he would offer me about Oliver, how upset he would be that I hadn’t visited him apart from Seollal a few weeks ago.
After Ji-ji passed, I had made a promise to visit him often, but I hadn’t done it since his birthday last year.
I had to apologise for that, when I couldn’t help but wonder how he would have reacted to the community centre, what he would have said.
With the opening not far away now, seeing him in statue form every day wasn’t enough. I’d give anything to see him again.
At this point, tears form, and I gently use the sleeve of my red knitted dress to wipe them away. Draping the skirt over my legs to provide warmth as the wind starts to pick up. I now regret wearing sheer tights in this weather.
As night falls, it’s a sign I should get going, but I wasn’t quite ready to bid Ji-ji goodbye yet.
The reason I hate celebrating my birthday is that it’s a day Ji-ji and I always spent together…
I didn’t know how to do that without him.
How to grasp that my favourite birthday tradition is no longer physically possible.
Being here does keep our tradition alive, but it’s not the same.
I wanted my Ji-ji.
My person.
The pressure that had been building my whole journey here ached, and I couldn’t hold back my tears. Sobbing gently, bundled in between my knees as my body trembled in the night air.
Suddenly, something was placed over my shoulders, providing warmth as I slowly lifted my head to see the last person I expected to see here.
Through misty eyes, I sat frozen. Watching Oliver place his own blanket beside mine.
Then, he stepped towards my Ji-ji’s grave and bowed three times, slow, reverent and steady.
Something tightens in my chest at the sight. Oliver didn’t say a word, but the respect in each movement spoke for him.
“O-Oliver? What are you-”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, sir. I’m Oliver Walters, Luna’s boyfriend.
” In full Korean, something Ji-ji would have respected him deeply for, if he were here.
Ji-ji and I spoke Korean, especially to get around Gran, or when he was really mad and told LJ and me off for being cheeky; he’d also do it when there was a word in English he’d forgotten and needed help remembering.
Apart from that, we spoke in English; Though, thanks to Ji-ji, I could speak Korean well, and knew how much it meant hearing Oliver speak it too.
“He’s the boy I told you about,” I whisper, facing Ji-ji’s grave, hiding my mouth behind my hand, shooting Oliver a not-so-subtle point to Oliver before glancing at him, where he offers me a small smile in response.
He then goes on to express his apology for not coming to introduce himself sooner, and what an honour it would have been to have met Ji-ji in person. I sit back watching Oliver use his perfect pronunciation to even crack an old Korean joke that I know Ji-ji would have belly laughed over.
I held out hope so many times today that Oliver would show up, but he couldn’t have picked a better moment. As he continues to converse with Ji-ji, I scoot a little closer to him, resting my head on his shoulder.
He turns to kiss my forehead softly, then as the conversation fades, he, Ji-ji and I all sit there for a while bonding in silence, and thanks to Oliver’s bear-sized coat enveloping me, I couldn’t feel warmer. Although, as it grew darker, I knew it was time to go.
I bid my goodbyes to Ji-ji, placing a kiss on my hand and planting it on his grave, leaving a lipstick mark there.
The gesture makes a faint laugh slip out of me at the memory of how Ji-ji would always say, “Why you always kiss with lipstick?” I use my thumb to clean it off his grave, the same way I would his cheek.
Then I slip back into my heels and back on my feet with Oliver’s help. Watching me as I start packing up and fold my blanket I’d been sitting on.
“Can I have a moment with him?” he asks softly, after standing to fold his own blanket and holding it out towards me.
I nod, taking it from him and walk away.
The weight of his coat and my heels dig into the grass as I go, doing my best not to eavesdrop.
Though I do catch the words: “I’m sorry for hurting her,” and “I promise to look out for her from now on,” in Korean, then continue to walk a fair distance away to give them privacy.
When I do turn back, I see Oliver crouching in front of Ji-ji’s grave and smiling as if the two of them had come to some kind of agreement… if I squint hard enough, I could picture Ji-ji standing next to Oliver, patting him on the back, then turning towards me, nodding in approval.
I don’t know if it was the alcohol, my longing to have Ji-ji back, or if it was the lack of sleep I’d gotten fangirling with Macy till all hours of the morning, but I chose to believe what I saw was real, that it was a sign that Ji-ji was pointing me in the right direction.
Then, Oliver bowed towards Ji-ji and made his way over to me, making sure to shift my weight evenly as I stood watching his approach. My feet ached from putting my heels back on, but I still had the journey home to endure.
He, of course, catches up to me quickly, when an expected squeal rips from me as Oliver bends to toss me up and over his shoulder. The bag I was carrying flew around and hit his back as he started to walk.
“Oliver! What are you doing?” I ask, slightly breathless, while he manoeuvres the clean side of his blanket to cover my legs, though there’s no one around.
“Carrying you, what does it look like I’m doing?”
I lean down and pinch his bum for his snarky response, which only makes him chuckle.
“Now, now. Don’t start what you can’t finish,” he warns, carrying me all the way back to the car I came here in, placing me inside as Lionel and I make eye contact.
Has this poor man been here this whole time?
But before I could ask or apologise for making him wait, Oliver politely asked him to drive, then closed the screen separating us from Lionel.
“Where are we going? And what are you doing here? How did you find me?” I finally asked. It was unbearably sweet what he did back at Ji-ji’s grave, but it still didn’t explain how he knew I’d be there, and if he was going to show up all along, why didn’t he just tell me sooner?
“I came to pay my overdue respects to your Grandfather. I’ve always known where you were at every point today, and lastly, I’m taking you to dinner; it is your birthday, after all,” he admits, with a soft smile, glancing over at me.
Son of a bitch.
Oliver planned everything; how hadn’t I realised it before? The hotel, Macy’s intention to splurge on every expense that was offered to us, the personal driver - it was all his doing.
“Did you really think I wasn’t going to see my woman on her birthday?” he tilts his head,
words that make my heart race; I don’t bother to question him further.
“Where are you taking me for dinner?”
“It’s a surprise.” Oliver smiles.
I hate that he won’t feed my curiosity when it occurs to me that, despite picking me up earlier, Oliver was keeping a respectful distance between us, sticking to his side of the car.
“Where is Theo?” I suddenly remember as I notice the time on his Rolex.
“He’s sleeping over at a friend’s house. I’ve already wished him goodnight, and he agreed to be good so long as the three of us have a second birthday celebration with him tomorrow after school,” he reveals, staring out the window.
Allowing me to admire the man beside me.
I hate to admit it, but in the few days since Oliver re-entered my life, I noticed many great changes in him.
For instance, the old Oliver would never let Theo out of his sight, let alone go on a date.
A man who had only two destinations in life was work and home.
But this man…
The rest of the drive was mostly done in silence, with only the slight hum of the radio in the background.
When we arrived at our destination, Oliver stepped out first. My bag was already on his shoulder as he helped me out of the car.
His other hand was on the small of my back, guiding me to our destination.
Too busy looking at him the whole time, it isn’t until we reach the door that I realise where we are.
“I thought you said you were taking me to dinner?” I ask.
“I am,” He replies, putting the key through the door, revealing the trail of rose petals scattered in front of me and down the hall as he gestures for me to head in first. I take a deep breath before stepping into Oliver’s house for the first time in months.
Dear god, Buddha, anyone. Give me strength for what might come next.