Chapter Three #2
“You really do love me, don’t you?” I asked.
“Ayuh, ayuh, ayuh.”
I laughed and looked at all of Grandfather’s mementos on the wall. Maybe I shouldn’t want any other future than the one he dreamed of us having. But I couldn’t help the feeling of reluctance.
Not long ago, when Mommy and I were looking out at the sea, she became very quiet. I felt she had gone somewhere else for a few moments.
“What are you thinking so hard about, Mommy?” I had asked.
“How important the dreams for yourself can be, and how sad it is when you’ve deserted them.”
“Have you?”
She had smiled and stroked my hair. “Everyone does at one time or another, Lisa. What you have to do,” she had said, looking back at the sea, “is learn how to survive it.”
Now, at dinner, because I was so quiet, I was afraid Mommy would start asking me pointed questions about my visit with Grandfather.
Daddy went on and on about business issues, usually finding fault with some decision Grandfather had made.
Mommy kept softly saying, “We’re supposed to be enjoying ourselves, Melville. Put business aside for now.”
He just glared at her and turned to talk to someone else at another table. Fortunately, she was fixated on what I would wear to my party and some of the new things she had seen for me in Bar Harbor.
“It’s amazing how although it’s almost June, they’re advertising fall clothes,” she said. “You’ll come in with me after your party and we’ll do some shopping.”
“Yes, there are a few things I’ve seen in magazines that I’d like.”
In between things I said at dinner, I kept thinking about what Grandfather had shown me and what Mommy’s reaction might be if she knew what I knew.
Would anything be different between my parents?
Mommy never bragged about the wealth and success of the Baxter family.
She’d just smile when compliments were given to her or simply say “Thank you” and move on to a different topic.
People on Birdlane, especially at restaurants, would always give us big hellos.
Mommy’s smile was wide, deep, and sincere enough to make up for Daddy’s merely nodding.
I wondered, did he have any real friends or just associates who had to pander to him, hoping he would pass their names or information on to Grandfather?
He’s not going to be able to handle the truth, I thought. It would be like his legs had been swept out from under him if he found out. I hoped there would never be a reason to expose it, even though Grandfather seemed so sure there would be.
Because Grandfather was so excited about hosting my birthday party, it seemed bigger and better than the sweet sixteen held at our house.
How could anything compete with the Crest, anyway?
Daddy stood off to the side with some of the fathers who had brought their daughters, and Mommy spoke to the mothers.
Jamie and I were called out to start the dancing after the food had been served.
There were enough balloons, I thought, to lift me up if they were all tied to me.
Because Grandfather put no limit on the guests, I was able to invite my whole class, and all of Jamie’s friends were invited.
After the cake and singing of “Happy Birthday,” I looked at Daddy. Mommy was whispering something to him. He looked at Grandfather and then crossed the floor to ask me to dance. I glanced at Grandfather, who gave me his tight smile and nodded his head. Daddy saw him, too.
“The old man needs to approve everything, even when you brush your teeth,” he mumbled.
“Why are you so critical of Grandfather when you want so much to be just like him?” I asked.
He held me away from him a little farther. “You have that wrong,” he said. “If anything, he should be more like me. He’s grown too soft for business. He should retire. Maybe you can convince him.”
“I hardly think that,” I said. “He’s as witty and bright as ever.”
Daddy smirked and stopped dancing. “I have to speak to someone. Enjoy your party.”
He walked away, leaving me looking a little silly in the middle of the dance floor. Instantly, Jamie was holding me and dancing.
“Are you all right?” he asked.
I took a deep breath. Mommy was talking to a group of other women. No one was looking my way. All my friends were having fun. Daddy was already gesturing heavily in some kind of an argument with a couple of the fathers.
“I’m going to leave the ballroom. Don’t follow right away. I’ll wait for you in the hallway and we’ll get some fresh air. I’ll show you the side door in a pantry that opens to the cliff.”
Jamie nodded and released his grip on my hand.
I turned and slowly walked to the entrance of the ballroom.
Fortunately, there were people standing in front of Grandfather Charlie, so he didn’t see me leave.
I walked down the hallway to the left and waited for Jamie.
He saw me and hurried to join me. Without speaking a word, I led him to the pantry and out the side door.
I headed for the large old oak at the rear of the mansion.
There wasn’t a sea view here, but it was very private, tucked away at the southeast corner of the property.
I plopped down under the tree and embraced my legs. He sat beside me quickly.
“What’s wrong?” he asked immediately. “Did your father say something unpleasant to you?”
I continued to look down. There was no one besides Mommy to whom I had entrusted any secrets.
Over the years, Jamie and I told each other very private things about our own families.
I didn’t have even a girlfriend who was closer to me when it came to those sorts of secrets.
But telling Jamie what Grandfather had shown me would truly be betraying a trust. Despite how much I wanted to do it, I couldn’t.
Before I could ponder it any longer, Mommy appeared outside the side door.
“Lisa,” she called. “What are you doing out here?”
“Just getting a breath of air,” I said, standing quickly.
“Your grandfather wants to say good night. He’s going to bed. The party’s not going to last much longer.”
“Okay, we’re coming. Sorry.”
“It’s all right,” she said as we drew closer and she looked at Jamie. “I know what it means to share a moment when everything seems so overwhelming.”
Could she have said anything better?
I took Jamie’s hand, and we hurried back to the ballroom. Grandfather studied my face as I approached him. He could see that I had not betrayed the secret. He smiled and I hugged him and thanked him for the party.
“I’ve been thinking,” he said. “I’m going to invite your parents and you to move into the Crest. I’m getting along in years now. It’s important to me that we spend more time together, feel more like a family.”
“That would be wonderful, Grandfather.”
“For the future, a little challenging but a lot of joy. Anna will be very happy,” he said. “I’m going to sleep. Enjoy the rest of your party.”
“Wow,” Jamie said, overhearing. “It’ll be great visiting you here.”
I looked at Mommy. Grandfather had already told her, but I knew I had to brace myself for one of her and Daddy’s stormy arguments. She recognized my fears and leaned over to whisper, “Don’t worry. I’ll promise him I’ll share one of the bigger bedrooms upstairs, but I’ll still have one of my own.”
Mommy didn’t bring it up on the way home.
She said she wanted to wait for Grandfather to offer the invitation in person.
As we both anticipated, Daddy’s reaction was to be unenthusiastic.
He mumbled something about being a guest, but Mommy stayed on it, and he eventually agreed to a move in the fall.
There would be a nice profit to be had on our house, too.
As Daddy had said, a Baxter house was an extra value for a buyer.
Mommy was the happiest I had seen her in a long time because of our moving to the Crest. Grandfather gave her complete authority to make any changes she wanted in the bedrooms and the formal living room. “Good to have a woman’s touch again,” he said.
Daddy was glum and disinterested. “Still feel like a guest,” he muttered.
After we moved and were living in Grandfather’s home, Jamie felt more comfortable visiting. That didn’t change Daddy’s attitude toward him. He was still “a fisherman’s son.” Daddy made that sound almost like a curse word.
“How you can belittle the people whose work production you so depend on is beyond me,” Mommy told him.
“It’s a matter of where you are in society,” Daddy replied.
I thought about him and how much more the truth would hurt him because of what he thought of himself and the meaning of our family name.
On the other hand, Grandfather didn’t have these kinds of “I’m superior to everyone else” thoughts, and he liked to mingle with the fishermen.
He would often spend hours with them at the Wharf Bar and Grill.
Daddy said it was an embarrassment. “We have to negotiate prices with these people,” he’d complain.
Grandfather would just smile and say, “You don’t understand, Melville. If someone is your friend, he feels worse about undercutting you.”
“Chout,” Daddy would say, and then walk away.
The last time that happened, Grandfather turned to me and said, “This is not brain surgery, our business, no matter what your father is saying. We negotiate a fair price with the fishermen, remembering they have to make a good living or they disappear, and then where would we be? We work on the packaging and negotiate with delivery companies and our customers. Your father has done a good job of finding markets, but he makes it all sound too difficult, and being a successful businessperson doesn’t make you better than anyone else.
Your grandmother would not permit either of our children to look down on other people. ”
I wondered why Grandfather was telling me all this—and so vehemently, too.
It wouldn’t be all that long before I knew.