Chapter Eleven #2
“No,” I said quickly. “I had one for my seventeenth, and everyone was there to see the Crest and ooh and aah more than to be there for me. Although it seems more traditional to have it for my eighteenth, I think it will mean more if it’s a family-only dinner.
My friendships at school are vague and full of rivers of jealousy to cross.
I’m tired of trying to act like someone I’m not.
It’s not my fault my grandfather created a major successful business and we have so much. I’m sure you know what I mean.”
“Sure do. Good on you. Sincerity is more valuable than gold. Family dinner, huh? So if I’m here already, maybe I can get an invitation?” he said.
“Really? You want to be at it?”
“Why not?” He looked back at the Crest. “Although…”
“What?”
“I came outside here because your grandfather and father are having one of those famous chats you implied explode from time to time.”
“Oh? What was it about?”
“I don’t want to get involved with complicated family matters.
I’ve had enough of my own and still do, but your father just discovered that your grandfather asked the business department to include you as an employee after your birthday.
Your father challenged it, asking what you would do, and your grandfather said advise, consult, research. Then it got a little snappy.”
“Did it?”
“Your grandfather said something about your father’s trips not being only business.”
“That rumor has come up to the Crest. One thing about gossip: it knows no boundaries. Even on an island this small.”
“When your father complained about my fee, I think as his answer to the accusation, I disappeared. I’m an expert when it comes to getting out of the way of a hurricane.”
I laughed but looked away when Jamie came to mind again.
“I’m all right with it,” Kyle said, misreading my deep thought and worry.
I said nothing.
“What do I have to do to get a ride in the car?”
“Maybe…”
“Maybe after dinner you can show me the town of Birdlane,” he said.
I laughed. “This is Birdlane, not Bar Harbor. You can see the town in thirty seconds.”
“Still, time with you,” he said. “I’ll be busy… unless…”
“What?”
“When you’re done with school, you watch me work, and I’ll explain what I’m doing. Sort of a bonus that maybe will please your father.”
“I doubt it. He doesn’t think of art as a way to make any money.”
“Well, I’ll have to talk some investments with him.”
“The only language he speaks,” I said, just as Daddy came out of the house.
“This car is going to be registered under the business name,” he told me. “Your grandfather never thinks of business first.”
“Well, he thinks of me first, Daddy.”
“Right. You know,” he said to Kyle, “you should have room and board deducted from your fee.”
“Whatever your father says.”
Daddy smirked and then turned to me. “I’ll see you in two days,” he told me, as if it were a threat. He started for his car, then paused and turned. “And we’ll talk about this research and consulting.”
“I’m proud to help, Daddy,” I said.
He just stared for a moment. Kyle smiled, and when Daddy got into his car, Kyle said, “Are you sure this birthday coming up is your eighteenth and not your twenty-eighth or twenty-ninth?”
“I think it’s safer not to be sure about anything,” I said.
He laughed. “C’mon. You can help me organize my materials for tomorrow,” he said, and we walked to the house.
I looked back at the car before we entered.
It really did give me a new sense of freedom and independence.
For a while, it would surely feel strange to just do what I wanted and not ask permission or worry about restrictions.
Anyone locked up for decades and then suddenly let out would surely stand there a little dumbfounded at first. Make decisions, I told myself firmly.
Maybe I will take him for a ride after dinner, I thought.
I followed Kyle to the room Anna had prepared. He opened a case containing his paint tubes.
“These come from Golden Artist Colors. Many of the most famous artists used their work. Special quality,” he said proudly.
“I have so much to learn.”
“And lots of time to do it,” he said. “We want the colors of the Crest, but something special with them.”
He studied the tubes as if he could look through them. I helped him get his tripod out of the case and the art paper he was going to use. Then, as if he was exhausted, he sat on the bed. He lifted his hand to reach for mine just as Anna called us to dinner. He rose quickly.
“You don’t hafta call me twice to dinner,” he said, and we went to the dining room, him talking about some of the world’s famous restaurants.
Grandfather was already seated. He immediately apologized for the “chat” with my father, but Kyle said it wasn’t necessary.
He understood family differences. After which Grandfather asked him even more questions about his family and background than I had.
Kyle seemed to enjoy talking to Grandfather, who was pleased at the questions Kyle asked about his upbringing and ancestors.
They talked about the Crest, the architecture and the location.
For most of the dinner, I felt like an audience.
Somewhere toward the end, they both seemed to remember I was there and talked about my birthday gift and my wonderful health report.
When dinner ended, Kyle asked if we could take that ride to see Birdlane proper and what I thought were important places. I glanced at Grandfather, who didn’t say a word except “It’s up to Lisa. She’s her own lady now.”
Kyle looked at me.
“Sure. I’ll show him the highlights of Birdlane,” I said. “It actually has its own atmosphere, its own sense of identity.”
“Well, I’m very excited. Thank you,” Kyle said.
When we walked out, I told him he could drive. He liked that. It was still a warm, almost cloudless night. I looked forward to the sea breeze in my hair when we started off.
“Your grandfather is quite a guy,” he said as we headed down the hill. “I never had a grandparent for long enough to appreciate him or her. I hope you don’t mind me saying he’s more like what your father should be.”
“I never mind the truth,” I replied.
He smiled and shook his head.
“What?”
“You have all the right answers built in.”
“Is that bad?”
He looked at me and smiled. “No. Scary. It’s like you inherited some sort of wisdom. Maybe Birdlane is a magical place. There are places in the world where people believe there’s a special energy.”
“Were you ever at one?”
“Yes. But as an artist, I find special energy almost anywhere.”
We rounded the curve and looked down at the lights of the houses and the village.
The glow shimmered in the evening air. It all seemed suddenly brand-new, as if the town had been quietly waiting for this moment.
It all felt a bit different now, probably because I was seeing it through Kyle’s eyes, or maybe it was because I felt so brand-new myself.
“I’m sure it’s a great feeling to be above the world you live in,” he said.
“Not so much above the people. Just the view.”
“Yes, of course.”
I took him through the village and then on a highway that I knew would bring us to a beautiful view of the ocean.
Many people went there on warm summer nights, lingering beneath the stars, alive with voices.
But tonight the world felt hushed, and there was practically no one there.
I showed him where to pull in, and we both sat back and just looked out at the endless horizon where the sky melted into the dark waves.
“You know, I wonder now why I don’t do more night scenes. It’s breathtaking.”
He leaned toward me and touched my hair.
“A girl like you should have many dates that end up here,” he said.
Jamie flashed through my mind, but I realized there was always some underlying tension when he and I went somewhere alone, especially at night.
“You have to make moments like this, scenes like this, special in your mind,” Kyle said in a half whisper.
Then he brought his lips to mine. It was a kiss I had imagined, longer than a usual friendly kiss or even a slightly unsure kiss.
This was a kiss meant to be, meant to make me feel what it did.
There wasn’t the slightest sense of uncertainty.
His firmness and determination didn’t frighten me as I’d imagined such a thing would; instead, they excited me.
I didn’t pull away or look in any way upset.
He smiled. “Just something I wanted to be sure happened to you,” he said.
Then he surprised me. He started the car, and we drove back to the house silently.
At the house, he thanked me for the tour of Birdlane as if nothing else had happened. Was I making too much of that kiss? He took my hand, and we entered the house. Everyone was somewhere else. We paused, and neither of us spoke.
“Well,” he said. “I think we should get some rest. A big, long day and lots of work ahead.”
I nodded.
He kept holding my hand, and we started down the hallway. At my doorway, we stopped, but I held on to his hand, and he held on to mine. Something more was going to happen, I thought; it was more like I wanted it to happen.
“Have a great sleep, and thanks for making me part of your great day,” he said, and let go of my hand, leaned over to kiss me on the cheek like a big brother, and walked on to his room.
Maybe I had misjudged him. My expectations had led to disappointment, and I wondered if that was a weakness of mine. Should I have recognized right away what his real intentions were? How much experience did a girl need before she could see the right way to go?
Of course, I hadn’t been here if Jamie had called, and there were no calls for the remainder of the night.
In the morning, I got excited thinking maybe things would seem different when I saw Kyle at breakfast. But when I got there, Anna told me Kyle was already outside working. He had risen practically with the sun.
Before leaving to go to school, I went around the corner and shouted to him, but he was so intensely focused on his sketch that he didn’t turn.
I waited another moment. I was going to approach him and then thought maybe it was wrong to break his concentration.
I hesitated and then went to my car to drive to school.
At school, everyone knew about my good health report and most knew about my new car. Peggy Merton approached to tell me, “Well, maybe it was a present for getting better.” And I thought, did she believe I’d had control over that and that this was my reward for having made the right decision?
“Yes, I just decided to do it,” I said as sarcastically as I could.
She giggled. She’s my age, I thought. I understood what Kyle and Grandfather saw in me.
Classes were mostly review for finals, and I found the conversation with my peers suddenly quite infantile.
The giggling over what was meaningless to me made me wonder if I was feeling superior because I had an older man interested in me, but how interested?
Was it showing how childish I still was to fantasize about it?
I couldn’t wait for the day to end so I could return to the Crest.
One way or another, I would learn if I was totally misunderstanding everything.
Part of me just wanted it to be a platonic relationship, but a strong part of me wanted it to be romantic and mature.
Maybe we did have two identities. We talked to ourselves, argued with ourselves.
Growing up, especially romantically, meant accepting who you really were. Did I have the strength to do it?