Chapter Fourteen
It was Kyle congratulating me on my graduation and apologizing for not being able to be there. He said he couldn’t wait to see me when he returned to finish the painting. A little while later, flowers for me arrived. Again, a part of me wished they were from Jamie, but they were from Grandfather.
He then organized a catered dinner for us, surf and turf, lobster and steak. Since it was catered, he invited Anna to sit with us. He even invited Aunt Frances. At dinner, he asked about “that nice fisherman’s son.” I explained what had happened to him on the way home from his trip.
“Probably not smart enough to check the car before they did such a trip,” Daddy said.
Aunt Frances laughed.
“What would you say about yourself four months ago, Daddy?”
“What do you mean?”
“You rode on a low right front tire until you were down to the rim that ripped the tire. Cost you $2,456.38,” I said.
There was a pause, and Grandfather slapped his knee and laughed. Aunt Frances dropped her mouth open, and Daddy flushed red.
“How do you remember a bill so exactly?” Daddy asked.
“When it comes to numbers, she’s really a genius,” Grandfather said. “She can balance the books better than her mother could.”
Daddy grumbled and started to eat. Then he stopped and looked at me. “At least I wasn’t far from home,” he said.
“Just because you’re eighteen doesn’t mean you can talk to your father like that,” Aunt Frances said.
“You’ve said worse things to him, Aunt Frances, and I know you’re more than eighteen.”
Grandfather slapped another knee.
“You’re just encouraging her,” Aunt Frances told him.
“I didn’t do a good job encouraging you,” he said.
She pulled back and stared down at her food.
“Well now,” he continued, “how should we celebrate your graduation?”
“I thought that’s what we were doin’,” Daddy said. “You bought her a car for her birthday.”
“Good point,” Grandfather said. “Which was why I decided to have Arthur teach her how to sail her new boat.”
“New boat!” I said.
Yes, I thought, I can sail. I can do anything now.
All my classmates who had their own boats, who sailed, who drove motorboats, would be amazed to see me, even though they all knew by now that I had been cured.
To hear it was one thing; to see it was another.
Of course, I’d wave at them and see the shocked looks on their faces. Daddy wore one now.
“Is it a company boat?”
“Sure, she’s an employee,” Grandfather said. “Which reminds me…” He reached down for a folder. “Here are the accounts from one line I asked her to review for us.” He handed it to me. “She found twenty-eight thousand dollars in wasted spending.”
“What?” Daddy said, reaching for it and turning the pages. “This isn’t wasted. I needed those things.”
“Rental cars when you had a car.”
“It was inconvenient at the time.”
“In my time, a windstorm was inconvenient, not an effort to get your own car.”
Daddy slapped the folder down. “I don’t like her looking over my shoulder,” he said, glaring at me.
“She’s not looking over your shoulder, Melville. She’s looking over mine, for me.”
Daddy closed his mouth and stabbed his steak.
Anna began talking about the weather and comparing it to that in England, and she and Grandfather began talking about the English countryside and Ireland. For some reason, the mention of Ireland brought Daddy’s attention back to the conversation, but he said nothing.
“Tomorrow morning about nine o’clock, you can meet Arthur at the dock with your new sailboat. Good weather predicted. He’ll start your lessons.”
I was going to tell him that Kyle had already done so but didn’t mention it. Then I thought about how this was something Jamie and I had put on our wish list, and he wouldn’t be here to see it. Maybe he wouldn’t care now.
After dinner, I went for a walk with Anna, who had become my true confidante. We went to my mother’s and my favorite spot. Of course, Anna knew that.
“This older gentleman, the artist, he’s fond of you, I think.”
“I think so, but I don’t know how you know for sure.”
She laughed. “Another million-dollar question. My mother told me this: older men have fewer dreams. You have to figure out how that would apply to you.”
I looked out at the sea and the way the wind was sending the ripples to the mainland. Was that a sign of where I should go? Why trust nature? Look what it had done to my mother and to Jamie.
“Why do you think my father is the way he is, Anna?”
“He knows he’s not his father, and that depresses him and makes him angry,” she said.
I wondered how much she really knew, but I knew I wouldn’t break my promise to Grandfather.
“Night’s falling fast now,” Anna said. “Here come the stars.”
I laughed, thinking of what the stars had meant just recently. She put her arm around me just the way Mommy had and turned me toward the house. We stopped because Aunt Frances came charging out of the house, jumped in her car, and sped off, kicking up dirt behind her.
“Anna, what kept you with this family so long?” I asked.
“Easy question to answer… your grandfather, your mother, and you,” she said.
I smiled, and we continued on. Daddy came walking fast toward the door when we entered.
“Congratulations,” he said to me, as if someone was choking the word out of his throat. We watched him go out.
“The thing about men,” Anna said, “is they never let go of being boys.”
We both laughed. Laughter, I thought, takes the sting out of family pain.
No one called me that night. Right after breakfast, I drove down to the pier to meet Arthur and see my new sailboat.
All these wonderful gifts made me feel so special—not spoiled, special.
My life just seemed to burst into itself, not like I was unchained but more like I was reborn to be who I really was.
Arthur was very impressed with how I handled the rudder. I didn’t say anything about being with Kyle. It felt dishonest, but Arthur was so proud of how he was teaching me. Why diminish that?
“It’s in your blood,” he said.
Was it? I wondered. Daddy wasn’t a Baxter, but he was brought up to be one. Could you inherit that? The wind did feel different; the sky looked more beautiful. The bounce on the water was more exciting than usual because I was doing it. Maybe just living on Birdlane instilled it all in you.
“You look like you belong,” he said. “It’s like you were born for this, not just because you’re a Baxter, but because you are who you are.”
“Where did you get such wisdom, Arthur?”
“Where everybody does these days, from my grandfather.”
I laughed, but, boy, was he right, I thought.
I was actually disappointed when we turned for the home port.
“Enough for one day,” Arthur said, “but it won’t be long before I’ll tell your grandfather that you’re ready to go out on your own.”
He had no idea what the words “go out on your own” meant to me now.
But I loved hearing it. I spent the next few days practicing with Arthur.
I was still thinking I would attend the art school at the College of the Atlantic in Bar Harbor, but that wouldn’t start for months.
In the meantime, I waited anxiously for Kyle to return to complete the landscape painting of the Crest.
The day before Kyle was supposed to come, Jamie called. He had come home, and as I expected, he knew all about Kyle and me.
“It’s all right,” he said after telling me what he knew. “We don’t own each other.”
“I know that, Jamie. I just didn’t want to hurt you in any way.”
“A man has to contend with disappointment as well as success. Daddy says that practically every day he goes out with the boats.”
“You’re luckier than I am.”
“Meaning?”
“You have a father you enjoy quoting.”
He laughed. It made me feel so good.
“Let me know when you have time, and we’ll catch up on my New York trip.”
“Oh, yes. I want to hear about that.”
“And your new car and now a new sailboat?”
“Yes.”
“I bet it all came from your grandfather.”
“You’d be right.”
He laughed again.
I felt so comfortable talking to Jamie. But did that mean we were lifelong lovers or just lifelong friends?
I wondered if there had ever been a time when Mommy and Daddy were comfortable talking to each other.
How could you fall in love without being able to do that?
My parents were a puzzle. But Grandfather didn’t seem to know the answers.
Or if he did, he was still holding that back.
“I’ve got to get back to therapy for my leg. They’re angry about all the time I took off.”
“Sure.”
“I’ll call, and we’ll…”
“Make a date,” I said.
“Good. See you soon, then.”
I felt better than I thought I would. That was Jamie’s doing.
After we spoke, I had an urge to go out to the oak tree and just sit there awhile.
There was something magical about the spot.
It gave me not only a good view of the whole house but also sort of a portal through which I could see so many important parts of my life.
While I sat there, the weather changed to cloudy, and the sea became rougher.
It actually grew cold for this time of the year.
I was just getting up to get a sweater when Anna called for me.
“What, Anna?”
“Your grandfather just called. Your father was in a traffic accident. He was speeding. Imagine, here on Birdlane, where you can’t drive faster than people walk. Someone was hurt badly.”
“How horrible!”
“Your grandfather wants you to go to the office and man the main desk. He has to deal with the legal matters, and your father’s at the police station.”
“Okay. Any other instructions?”
“He said you’ll know what to do.”
I put on a sweater, raised the top of the car, and headed for the office building.
Mrs. Hegal, Daddy’s secretary, was at the door when I arrived.
She was a tall, stout woman with graying brown hair she kept cut short.
She wore a gray and black skirt suit with a wide-collared blouse.
I didn’t think she knew what makeup was.