Chapter Seventeen #2
I did what I could to live with it and start anew.
When I was bound and tied to my health, I wasn’t as aware of my family tensions.
I had always felt the estrangement between Daddy and Mommy, but it was tolerable because Mommy had compensated and always made it seem as if my concerns were minor.
She had always been there to protect me from everyone and everything, even my own family.
But she was gone, and even with Anna and Grandfather always being there for me, I was really on my own, joyful at being able to fly but nowhere near as prepared as I should have been for the world beyond Birdlane.
I could see it from the cliffs of the Crest—the horizon, the promises, and the discoveries to make—but like a seabird who had gone out too fast and too far, I struggled to find a safe place to land.
Was it with Jamie, or was that just too simple and convenient?
The pier was busy with tourists and locals.
Actually, I had never seen it bustling as much as this.
All the restaurants and shops were crowded.
We met some of Jamie’s friends and a few of the fishermen who worked for his father.
I saw how they all looked at me, making me feel as if I was some sort of celebrity who had to grant permission before anyone could speak to her, especially if they had questions.
Jamie was amazing, behaving as if nothing had happened between high school and now to either of us. It had a way of relaxing me. The frozen custard had never tasted better.
We walked the pier and then decided to take a ride to one of our favorite spots on the west side of the island.
From it we could clearly see all the lights of Bar Harbor.
There was a large rock formation that separated and had a level pocket between the two sides.
We could sit there and simply look out at the ocean, the stars, the mainland.
We had never really told anyone about it; it was sort of our secret place.
For a few moments on the way, I felt juvenile going to it. We were being kids again, me being the protected one. We climbed into our spot and sat. Neither of us spoke for a good two minutes; we just sat there and absorbed the scenery.
“I’m glad you’re not going to Bar Harbor as much,” Jamie said.
“Going to Bar Harbor” had become code for me seeing Kyle. For a while, it had been a tinderbox to talk about it or even make a slight reference to my affair. It seemed better to pretend it had never happened, but maybe that was wishful thinking and just not possible.
“Not as much, no,” I said.
“For a while there, I was thinking of taking a dinghy out and heading for the horizon, but then I would think of you and how you dealt with your heart issue until you had the operation. My problems were nowhere near as difficult as yours.”
“I worried about you. All the time,” I said.
“Did you? That’s nice.”
“It’s not just nice, Jamie. You have always been close to my heart.”
He was silent. Then he said, “I don’t want just to be your friend, Lisa.”
“I know. Let’s give it a little more time.”
He nodded, I was sure with disappointment.
“What was that quote Mr. Feldman, our English teacher, liked to use all the time?”
“ ‘Fools rush in where angels fear to tread.’ ”
“Very good, Jamie. You were a better student than you give yourself credit for.”
“I would never be a fool rushing to you, Lisa.”
I reached for his hand. He brought mine to his lips.
“This is our island, Lisa. It will always be our island.”
The purity of Jamie’s heart felt like a wave washing over me. I couldn’t resist leaning in to kiss him. He held me tightly.
“I thought I’d lost you,” he whispered.
I was silent. I can’t hurt Jamie. Wait, I told myself. Be sure.
A little while later, we left to return to the Crest. Jamie talked about all the things he was going to plan for us to do.
“Got to keep your mind off all this trouble,” he said.
Good luck, I thought, especially with my father raging at everything.
When we arrived at the Crest, Jamie wanted to come in to see how Grandfather was. Anna told us he had fallen asleep quickly and she was keeping an eye on him.
“Good,” Jamie said. I walked him back out. We paused at his truck.
“I had a good time tonight.”
“Me too.”
He leaned in to give me a friendly kiss on the lips, then paused and leaned in again to give me a meaningful, passionate kiss.
My mind was spinning with images of Kyle’s dramatic kisses.
Jamie was nowhere near as histrionic, but this was the most passionate kiss he had ever given me.
It took my breath away. We paused and just looked at each other.
“See you tomorrow,” he said, and got into his truck. He waved, and I watched him drive off.
In the morning, Anna told me Grandfather had listened to her and decided to take a full day of rest. He was not going to the office.
I ate breakfast alone, as Daddy, Anna said, seemed energized today and had hurried to go to work.
When I got there, he was locked in his office.
I asked one of the assistants, Heidi Peterson, to bring me copies of the documents I was reviewing for Grandfather.
She told me my father had said everything had to go through him.
I went directly to his office and entered without knocking.
“Why are you holding the documents I am supposed to review for Grandfather?” I demanded.
“I’m reviewing them first.”
“But—”
“You’ll have them shortly,” he said.
Frustrated, I returned to my office to wait. When almost an hour had passed, I rose to go back and make my demand stronger, but just then the phone rang. It was Anna.
“Your grandfather would like you to come to the Crest right now,” she said.
“Is he okay?”
“Yes.” She was silent a moment and then said, “The police chief is here.”
I hurried out and drove home.
It was only the police chief there this time. Grandfather sat behind his desk in his bathrobe. He looked pale and very disturbed. I just sat.
“We have a major decision to make,” Grandfather said, nodding at the police chief.
“My FBI friend was much more successful than I had anticipated,” he began.
“I should have realized the culprit had to be close to the sea and shipping. He was picked up yesterday, and the boat rental employee identified him. The district attorney immediately offered him a deal if he revealed who had hired him.”
“And?” I asked.
“He did. I’m sorry to say it was your father.”
I knew the blood drained from my face even though I had anticipated hearing it.
“The chief has brought up a major issue,” Grandfather said, “but I’m going to let you decide, since this was done mainly to you.”
“What?”
“Families have issues,” the police chief said, “and sometimes things like this happen. The Baxters are the biggest employer on the island. If this is aired and your family in any way crumbles, it will affect many people. I think this is a matter better settled among yourselves than in the courts and newspapers. But if you insist, we’ll issue an arrest warrant for your father today. ”
“No!” I said. “You’ve actually done Birdlane Island a great service by coming here first. You’re right. This is an internal family issue and not one for the courts. Grandfather and I will handle it.”
Grandfather smiled.
The police chief nodded and rose. “Matter closed as far as our department goes,” he said. He shook Grandfather’s hand, nodded at me, and left us.
For a moment, we just stared at each other.
“As I told you many times,” Grandfather said, “Melville was always a spiteful and deceitful young boy. He carried that into his manhood. I was very pleased that your mother decided to marry him. He could be a bit charming back then, always arrogant, but in a gentler way, if you could understand.”
“I saw some of that when I was younger, but not very much.”
“I’ve always lived believing you can’t pinpoint exactly who people are. Everyone is complicated, and it’s best to react to what they do and who they are at any given time. Preconceived visions make it harder to see the truth. That’s a piece of wisdom I’ll share with you.”
“What will we do?”
“I’ll have one of my frequent heart-to-heart talks with Melville. He’ll have to apologize to you.”
“He’ll never do that.”
“We’ll see. I still have some cards to play when it comes to him,” Grandfather said. He held up some papers. “This is the chief’s report with all the evidence, so there’ll be no denial or games played.”
“Okay, Grandpa.”
I didn’t return to the office. I returned to the landscape painting. Art was truly therapy for me right now. Later, just before dinner, Daddy stopped in my doorway and said, “Sorry about your boat.”
Before I could respond, he walked off, and nothing more was said about it. I didn’t know what to expect at dinner. He did sulk until Grandfather started to talk business. He even mentioned giving some of the work to me.
Afterward, I decided to tell Jamie. He was, after all, the most trustworthy person besides Anna and Grandfather.
“I’m sorry, Lisa. That’s hard to take.”
“We both believed it even before this confirmation.”
“Yes, we did. That is mean.”
“He is who he is. I’ll just go on doing what I want to do.”
“Sure. As long as I’m part of it,” he added, and laughed nervously.
“When I start doing portraits, you can pose,” I said, to get over the moment.
“Will do.”
We made a date to have lunch at the pier the next day.
For the next few days, Daddy didn’t seem different. He wasn’t remorseful as much as he was careful about what he would say to me. He did give me work at the office and looked satisfied with how the business was doing. I wondered what promises Grandfather had made.
Meanwhile, I was getting more and more excited about my landscape painting of the Crest. I felt my version captured it more as a home than as some monument, even though Kyle had a style.
Mr. Angelo stopped by to look at my work and raved that it was the best thing I had done.
I knew he was full of questions about Kyle and what he had taught me, but I avoided the topic. I thanked him for making the trip.
Maybe life was taking a turn and it would be easier for us, I thought. Grandfather had seemed to regain his strength and was at work regularly again. Jamie and I did more and more together, always reaching that point when something very serious could be said about us, but I always pulled back.
Would I ever be able to love again? I would have other things to think about, love being at the bottom of my list.