Chapter 14 Bit
BIT
When I walked into the cottage, Eberly and Michael were sitting in front of the fireplace in the living room. Each held a glass of wine and was laughing.
“Don’t let me interrupt,” I said, walking over to kiss Eberly’s cheek.
“Uncle Michael was telling stories about my mom and dad.” Her eyes met mine. “Good ones.”
I looked over at him and mouthed my thanks. It was exactly what she needed to offset the constant worry and suspicion she felt for the man who’d raised her. I couldn’t imagine how I’d react if I believed one of my siblings was capable of the things Malcolm had done to her. It would devastate me.
“Be right back,” I said, walking into the kitchen to see if there was any wine left in whatever bottle they’d opened. When I heard his footfalls, I realized Michael had followed me.
“I’m heading over to the caves now unless there’s anything you want to share with me.”
I shook my head. “Brix can fill you in on what we discussed.”
“Eberly is fortunate to have you by her side through this, Trevino. Evelyn and I would be happy to have her stay with us, but I think she’s more comfortable here with you.”
“If she did stay with you, you’d have to put up with me too.”
He chuckled. “I had a feeling that’s what you’d say.”
After pouring my wine, he and I returned to the living room and he told Eberly he’d talk to her in the morning.
I sat beside her, took her glass, and set it next to mine on the table, then put my arm around her. She snuggled closer to me and put her head on my shoulder.
“There’s something I’ve been thinking about.”
Eberly raised her head. “What’s that?”
“Do you know if your mother had any experimental treatment for her illness?”
Her eyes scrunched. “She did. Oh my God, do you think that’s where the money went?”
“There’s a good chance. At least in part.”
She put her hand on her stomach. “I should’ve thought of it instead of assuming the worst about my dad.”
“It doesn’t change some of the things he’s done subsequently.”
“You’re right.” Eberly covered her mouth when she yawned and returned her head to my shoulder.
“Come on. Let’s get some sleep.” I took her hand in mine.
“I thought we were going to talk.”
“Not tonight.”
“But—”
“I don’t have the energy for it, and I know you don’t either.”
Her brow was furrowed.
“Are you planning on leaving anytime soon?” I asked.
“Meaning?”
“Your uncle mentioned you might want to stay with him and your aunt.”
“Is that what you want?”
I leveled my gaze at her. “Answer my question, little dove.”
“I’d rather stay with you unless—”
I kissed her, then pulled away. “The point I’m trying to make is I want you here with me, and as long as you’re not planning to leave, then whether we talk tonight or tomorrow won’t matter.”
She lowered her head and frowned. “You’re right.”
Rather than pull her up with me when I stood, I put my arm under her and lifted her in my arms. I carried her into the bedroom, rested her on the mattress, then knelt in front of her.
“We both want, Eberly. I’m sure my desire for you far exceeds yours for me.”
She shook her head. “I don’t think that’s possible.”
I smiled, then leaned forward and kissed her. “I assure you, it is.”
“Then, why…?”
“You know the answer, but I’ll say it anyway. The first time you and I make love, I don’t believe either of us wants to feel rushed or tired, or that we might be interrupted at any minute. Don’t you think it’s worth waiting for?”
“As long as that’s the real reason.”
“Are you accusing me of lying to you?”
“No. That isn’t what I meant.”
I stood and pulled her up with me. “I’m going to remove your clothes now. Then we’ll talk.”
“Now?”
“Talk, Eberly.”
“Then, why are you removing my clothes?”
“That will become clear once our negotiation begins.”
When her eyes widened and her breath caught, I expected more questions, but she remained silent.
I began by lifting her sweater over her head, then reaching behind to unfasten her bra. “Keep still, little dove,” I said when she went to remove it from her arms.
Next, I unfastened her jeans, then stood to ease her torso down on the mattress. Kneeling again, I removed her shoes and socks, then pulled her jeans and panties from her body.
“Give me your hands.” When she did, I helped her sit up and spread her legs so I could kneel between them. Apart from when my fingers brushed her skin when I removed her clothes, I hadn’t touched her until I rested my hands above her knees.
“Earlier, I mentioned something called a scene. Do you remember?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Good girl.” I reached forward and cupped her cheek.
“The reason you are naked and I am not is to establish a power-exchange dynamic between us. You, as the submissive, are bare and open for my use. By keeping my clothes on, I’m reinforcing my dominance over you as it relates to what we’re about to do. In this case, we’re going to talk.”
Her lower lip came out, and I brushed it with the pad of my thumb.
“The best way I can explain a scene is to describe it as a defined sexual interaction with a starting and stopping point. While we are in the midst of one, I will expect you to do several things.” I met her gaze and waited for her response.
It took her mere seconds to give me the “yes, sir” I wanted.
“First, you will refer to me as you just have, answering my requests and demands in a way that I know you’ve understood the expectation.”
“Yes, sir,” she repeated.
“Before anything further happens between us, we need to establish some ground rules. I alluded to those when I said you’ll face consequences for your behavior.”
I waited until she responded to continue.
“There will be more rules we agree upon that are based on what you determine to be your limits. For example, you may say you’re uncomfortable when I ask you to make yourself come while we’re in my truck, driving in places where there’s a chance someone might see you.”
I eased my hands up her legs and she shuddered.
“On the other hand, I think you liked that.”
“I did, sir.”
“However, if I asked you to do the same thing in a restaurant, you might not like it as much.”
“Not at all.”
I cleared my throat, and she quickly added the honorific I required. “That would be a limit. You are willing to make yourself come within the confines of a vehicle, but wouldn’t want to do it in a more public place.”
“I understand, sir.”
“To make things easier for us both, I have a contract, if you will, that lists things you definitely want to try, things you might want to try, and others that you absolutely would not want to participate in. I will complete the same questionnaire, and we will review them together. Anything you’d like to say thus far? ”
“I don’t think so, sir.”
“Good girl. You’re doing so well.”
I eased my hands up another inch.
“While it may seem as though I’m asking you to give up control when I say I want you to obey me, what is actually happening is that, by doing so, you are giving me the gift of your submission.
You have the power to stop any scene that makes you uncomfortable.
Know this, though. I will push you, Eberly.
I will bring you to heights of pleasure like nothing you’ve ever known, but in order to do that, you need to give me that power. Do you understand?”
“I think so, sir.”
“Let’s talk about how you let me know where your comfort level is.
Some people in this type of relationship use red, yellow, and green to communicate how they’re feeling.
Red would mean you want to end the scene immediately.
Yellow would mean you need a minute to decide whether you’d like to continue or even take a brief break if you’re overwhelmed.
Green would mean you’re in a good headspace and we can proceed.
The alternative to using colors would be for you to pick what’s known as a safe word.
Once you’ve used it, I would stop the scene immediately and we would not continue. ”
“Red is fine, sir.”
“Eberly, I want to be clear that if you say no, I will not stop whatever I’m doing. If you say red, I will.”
“I understand.”
She’d been so good to this point that I let the slip of not responding properly slide.
“Next, we’ll talk about punishment. When we review the contract that includes our hard and soft limits, we will also go over my expectations in greater detail. Failure to meet them may result in consequences.”
“Like what, sir?”
“As with our limits, we will discuss which forms of punishment you’re willing to experience and which you’re not.”
“Can you give me an example?” she asked. “Err, sir?”
I smiled and kissed the tip of her nose. “Well done, little dove. And yes, one example would be I would spank you. Another might be that I don’t permit you to have an orgasm.”
Her eyes opened wide. “For how long?”
“That would be dependent on the behavior that warranted the consequence.”
“I’ll know, though, right? What you want me to do or not do?”
“You will. Typically, in no uncertain terms.”
“And if I don’t like something, I can use the safe word?”
“Yes, little dove, but I caution you to use them judiciously. If you say ‘red,’ the scene will end.”
“Understood, err, sir.”
“The goal, Eberly, is for you and I to experience pleasure together. It isn’t about me commanding you to do things. It’s about you allowing me to and accepting that, at a given moment, I know what’s best or what will take you higher than you ever could’ve imagined.
“A perfect example of how that might occur outside of a scene is what happened this morning when you walked out of the bank in anger.”
She bit her pouted lip and lowered her gaze. “I’m sorry.”
“I knew then that you were. However, that is something I would consider deserving of punishment. I respectfully asked you to stop and wait for me more than once, and I asked you to explain how you were feeling. You refused to do either.”
“I know. I was—”
“You said you were angry, but do you want to know what I think?”
Her eyes opened wide again. “Uh, sure…sir.”
“I believe that, more than anger, what you were experiencing was a lack of control. My interaction with Priscilla left you feeling insecure, and you acted out based on your discomfort.”
“I did.”
“I’d like to suggest you consider that, had you waited until we left the bank together, I would’ve acknowledged those feelings and respectfully explained my own.
I would’ve reassured you that the only smile I want to see throughout the day is yours.
” I reached up and covered her breast with one hand.
“The only person I want in my bed—in my life—is you.”
I put my arms on either side of her and leaned forward. “I’m crazy about you, little dove. While I know I’ll never get enough of your naked body next to mine, there’s so much more. You dazzle me. You also challenge me, which you may think I don’t like, but I do.”
“You mean when I got mad at you in my kitchen?”
“You have no idea how much that excited me. If your father hadn’t arrived home when he did, there’s no telling what I might’ve done.” I sighed. “There’s one more thing I need to say, and this might be the most important of all.”
“I’m listening.”
“When I’m with you, I feel safe. Not judged or discounted—you accept me as I am, who I am, and how I am. You have no idea how much that means to me. How precious it is.”
“I do know, Trevino, because it’s how I feel when I’m with you. Even when you say I’ll face ‘consequences,’ I’m not afraid. I know you’ll take care of me, take care with me.”
“I will, Eberly. I promise that I’ll look out for you, keep you safe, and soothe you in the same way you do me. I’ll protect and honor your body, your mind, and your emotions.”
“I’ll do the same for you.”
“Now, we sleep.”
She sighed. “If we must.”
“Under the covers, little dove.”
“Will you sleep next to me?” she asked.
“I will.”
“Will you take off your clothes?”
Rather than answer with words, I pulled my shirt over my head with one hand while I unfastened my jeans with the other. After toeing off my boots and socks, I dropped my pants and shirt to the floor and crawled in beside her.
“I really want you to make love to me, Trevino.”
“I want that too.”
“But I understand why we’re waiting.”
“And then again, we’re not. Feeling your skin next to mine is still making love, little dove. Every touch is that same expression of desire and caring. It’s all love, Eberly.”
When she didn’t respond, I knew she’d fallen asleep. What I didn’t know was whether she’d heard the most significant words I spoke tonight. Not only tonight, though, but the most important of my life.