Chapter 37
Family
“Here, let me take those for you.” Josh’s voice floated through the room.
Followed by Karson’s low growl. “What have I told you, Mary, about having groceries delivered.”
“We have the dinner tonight and I wanted to collect a few things from the market.”
The dinner.
I stood and moved into the foyer as Josh eased four paper bags loaded with food from Mary’s hands.
She rubbed her blue-tinged fingers together. “Thank you, dear, these old bones don’t like the cold much.”
Karson stood midway up the stairs, scowling. “Then tell me and I can arrange someone to collect them.”
Mary arched a brow as her eyes took in the blood. “You look like you have more pressing issues.”
Josh’s lips quirked. “Nothing wrong with your eyesight, Mary.”
“No, there is nothing wrong with my muscles either, nor my mind. I’m more than capable of carrying a few bags of groceries,” she huffed.
“That is not the point,” Karson responded. “I will not see you worked to the bone.”
She waved a hand, dismissing his protest. “I love going to the market.”
Josh’s face fell. Strange, why would he care if Mary loved the market? Unless he wanted to go too.
“Now go and shower and get some sleep, and let me do what I enjoy doing.”
“Is there more in the car?” I asked, biting back my grin at the look of annoyance on Karson’s face.
Mary nodded as she removed her plastic rain jacket. “Only a couple more bags.”
“I’ll grab them.”
“No, it’s raining, I will get them,” Josh threw over his shoulder as he disappeared into the kitchen. When he reappeared, his next comment was to Mary. “Do you need me to go back to the market for anything else?”
“No, I think I have enough. If not, we will make do.”
I looked up, but Karson was gone. I followed Mary into the kitchen. “What dinner is Karson having?”
She pulled out a jar of chutney and sauces from one of the bags. “He’s having Rodney and his crew over.”
“Oh.” Did that mean I had to spend the night in my room? He wouldn’t want me around them.
“I could think of other words I’d prefer to say than oh.”
I chuckled as I reached into a bag and took out four home-baked apple pies and placed them in the fridge. “Not a fan.”
Mary’s forehead wrinkled. “I’ve met nicer snakes in my lifetime.” She took a leg of lamb out of a bag, the flesh pink and streaked with a thin layer of fat. My stomach churned.
“Eat,” he ordered, a cold, sly grin on his stubbled, thin, filthy face.
Tears slithered down my cheeks. The lamb I bottle-fed, the lamb who followed me everywhere, the lamb I loved. Her blood pooled across my plate.
My fingers shook around the fork as my mind screamed, Run! Run and never come back. My eyes fell to the snow pounding against the windowpane. It was miles to the nearest house, through the woods, through the darkness. With no jacket to keep me warm, I’d freeze to death.
A fist slammed on the table. “I said fucking eat!” he roared.
“Amy … are you alright?”
I blinked back to the room, my heart racing in my chest. I felt sick, hot.
That particular foster family had been especially cruel, sadistic in the worst kind of ways.
I stomped the memory down deep, buried it in a coffin, where the vilest corpses lurked.
Sometimes I could hear them scratching against the walls of my brain, trying to break free.
I didn’t want to exhume them, didn’t want to stare into their dead, cold eyes.
I knew instinctively that if I unsealed the lid they would rush to the surface and destroy my life.
“Oh goodness, I’m sorry.” Mary quickly placed the meat in the fridge. “I know you’re a vegetarian, but I didn’t realize it would upset you.”
I swallowed and my mouth tasted of decayed bones, ash, and rot. I swallowed again and forced a smile. “Oh no, it’s alright, I’ve seen meat plenty of times.” And blood. Lots of blood.
Josh opened a jar of boiled sweets. “You’re a vegetarian? Me too.” He held the jar out to me. I took one. “Well, I was. I guess I still am. I don’t eat meat.” He tossed a sweet into his mouth, then offered the jar to Mary; she declined.
“Can you be classified as vegetarian if you drink blood?” Mint and chocolate fizzed across my tongue.
“Yes. I don’t drink an animal’s blood, that would be mean.” He grinned wryly, sitting the jar on the bench. “Only human blood.”
My chest loosened as I laughed. “So humans are fair game?”
“Have you met humans? Most of them are assholes.” His smile dropped as he admitted almost sheepishly, “I mostly drink synthetic blood when I can’t get it, and I only ever drink from blood bags. I figured if it’s donated it’s fair enough. And besides, if I don’t drink, I die.”
Mary switched on the kettle and spoke over her shoulder.
“Most humans are good. It’s just that the bad ones who do the damage in society are the ones who get noticed.
” She grabbed three teacups out of the cupboard.
“Then humans create stories they call ‘the news’ and broadcast all the negative events, and then we wonder why everyone is so damned depressed.”
“Ain’t that the truth.” Josh popped another sweet into his mouth and sprang up so his ass was rested on the bench.
Mary handed us cups of tea with milk and sugar, and slipped a plate of caramel slices between us, before she sat down at the table with hers.
“Thank you.” Josh picked up a piece of caramel slice and twirled it around, admiring the way the caramel was thick and gooey and dark chocolate was melted over the sides. “These are my favorites.”
“I know,” Mary said. “That’s why I bought them.”
“How long have you been a vampire, Josh?” I asked, taking a seat.
“Four years, six months and three days and …” He glanced at his wristwatch. “Five hours.”
I almost choked on a mouthful of tea. Josh wasn’t a fighter.
He was kind, funny, had a big heart. He reminded me a lot of BJ, and I suppose he did for Georgie too and that was why we all got along so well.
I couldn’t wait for him to meet BJ and the others.
He didn’t strike me as the sort of guy Karson would normally turn. “Four years! What happened?”
“Funny story,” he said in a way that told me the story wasn’t funny at all. “I used to work at the market Mary went to.” I glanced across to Mary; she gave him a sympathetic smile. That explained why he’d looked sad earlier when she’d mentioned it. “Have you ever been?”
I shook my head.
“It’s huge. It’s a creative market sprawled across a park, and you can find loads of homemade things, candles, crystals, mugs, and paintings.
I was a vegan. I baked vegan and vegetarian dishes and slices, and sold them with my aunty every Saturday there.
Karson bought some vegetarian pies, and we got talking. ”
Why would Karson be buying vegetarian pies? Maybe Mary liked them, or someone else he knew was a vegetarian? When my mom died, someone delivered a parcel loaded with vegetarian foods. There was no note, no name, just the box left on our doorstep. People were thoughtful when the worst happened.
“We had a twilight market, and I was walking home. My aunty wanted to drive me home, but I felt like a walk, and we argued and I …” He drew in a ragged breath and closed his eyes for a second, as if shutting out the memory.
“On the way home, three guys jumped me.” Josh’s tone quietened.
“They stole the money we’d made, and they beat me within an inch of my life and threw me over a bridge.
I didn’t hit the water though, I hit a cement pillar.
I don’t know how many bones I broke. I don’t know how I survived.
I can’t remember making my way to the shore, but Karson found me on the river’s edge.
” The cup in his hand shook so badly he had to put it down. “He turned me.”
“I’m sorry, Josh,” I said quietly. “Do you still bake?” I tried to find something positive to say.
“No, aside from with the kids, I haven’t. I’ve lost my passion for it. I seem to crave something a little more coppery nowadays.” Josh looked up and smiled, but there was no joy in his eyes, only sadness.
Josh was here a lot; I thought maybe he didn’t have any family like me. “Do you still see your family?”
“No, my family can’t stand what I am.” Bitterness bled through his tone.
I blinked, shocked. “They know?”
He swallowed. “Yeah, I told them. It was that or disappear, and I didn’t want to do that to them and …” He shook his head sadly.
Mary stood up and placed a soft, wrinkled hand on his shoulder.
“One thing life has taught me is family is not only blood. Family is carved from the strength of connection. Family are who are there for you holding out their hand to lift you up, or to hold you steady when your legs are shaking. Family are the ones who stop you from falling when you hang on by a thread. Family are the loudest cheerers in the room when you’re trying to win.
Family show you they care, time and time again. That’s what a proper family is.”
A hollow emptied my chest. I wished I had that type of family.
Josh placed his hand over hers and patted. “I know. It’s been rough though, knowing the people who should love me the most don’t love me enough to want me now. I no longer fit into their mold.”
“Molds were always meant to be broken, Josh,” Mary responded gently.
Josh’s tone lightened, and a dimple indented his cheek as his lips curved up. “If you’re going to say because the cracks let the light in, I’m going to throw up.”
Mary cackled. “Are you sure mind reading isn’t one of your skills?”
“I wish, imagine the fun I could have with that.” Josh grinned at Mary’s retreating back as she moved to the sink to rinse out her cup.
I took a sip of tea and relaxed now that Josh’s mood had changed. “What skills do you have?”
He looked perplexed. “I’m still trying to work that out. I’m fast, faster than most of the others, but that seems to be about it.”
“And you have exceptional willpower, Josh,” Mary said.
“Oh yeah, I forgot about that one.” He flicked his eyes back to me. “If you bleed, I won’t attack, so yay for me. Or for you, I suppose.”
That’s why Karson allowed him around so much; he trusted him around Georgie and me. And he knew his family had disowned him, so he’d taken him in. Despite what everyone said about Karson, despite what he was capable of, he had a heart of gold, even if he hid it in the shadows.
I returned his smile. “In a world filled with humans, that’s a pretty important trait to have.”
“It wasn’t easy. It took a few years before I got it completely under control.
” He dipped his head, running his fingers over the smooth lines of the bench as if he was ashamed.
“But I’m glad I did,” he raised his head, releasing a breath, “because it’s even more important when Karson is in love with one of them.
” I shouldn’t be surprised that he knew this; he would have seen or heard something, and he saw us in the alley.
He must have seen anxiety in my expression because his hand went to his heart.
“Which I will keep a secret, for as long as he needs me to.” Josh slid off the bench.
“Right, Mary, what do you want me to do?”
She handed him a peeler. “You could peel some potatoes, if you like.”
“What do you want me to do?” I asked.
“Nothing, we have it under control,” Mary answered. “Go and get some sleep, Amy.”
I left them happily chatting and working together in the kitchen.
Mary was right, if blood relatives could give you away without a care in the world, then family couldn’t be defined by blood. It was defined by something much deeper. It was defined by irrevocable love.