Chapter 15
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
He glanced at my house.
“Mom said it was okay,” I said. “If now’s not a good time—”
He stole my bag from my hands.
“Now’s good.”
We walked to the door, which wasn’t locked, and I followed him inside.
Despite all the boxes I saw the moving people carrying the day he’d moved in, I only saw a sofa in the living room and a table in the kitchen area. That was it for the front of the house. No decor. No end tables or shelves. No TV.
“Would you like a tour?” Sam asked.
“Maybe later. Can we sit?”
“Yeah.”
He helped me out of my coat and hung it up while I removed my shoes.
My stomach churned as I crossed to the couch.
“The movers carried in so many boxes,” I commented, sitting.
He joined me.
“Most of it’s my parents’ stuff. They’re storing it in the basement until they find a place.”
“Your dad hates town living that much?” I asked.
“Hate is a strong word. He just prefers the woods. Mom likes the quiet, too.”
“What about you? Do you like town living?”
“I like this house,” he said.
“Because it’s next to mine or because it’s in town?”
My pulse quickened as he studied me. I felt his uncertainty and his need to touch me.
“Because it’s next to you,” he admitted.
“Does that mean we’re going to need to move to the country once we’re mated?”
He froze, and I felt an intense burst of panic.
Mine because I was afraid he’d think I’m crazy now, or his because I knew? It was hard to tell and made everything more confusing.
He stayed quiet for almost a minute.
“Are you talking to an Elder in your head?” I asked.
He swallowed hard and ran a hand over his hair, the first time I’d ever seen him do something that didn’t exude confidence.
“You’re not reacting like I thought you would,” he said finally.
Relief hit me hard, and I knew it was all my own this time.
“You mean like the books? Where I’m in denial and run away? That was yesterday, and about twenty minutes ago. Running doesn’t help. Problems don’t just disappear.”
“Am I a problem?”
“Sometimes. So, were you talking to someone?”
He nodded. “My uncle. He’s an Elder.”
“Did he give you permission to bite me?”
Sam slowly shook his head.
I knew it! Why else would he creep into my room in the middle of the night? And those two guys who just happened to show up at school the next morning? Mom and her shotgun had been a possibility. But not having permission made way more sense.
“Please tell me what you’re thinking, Clarity. I haven’t been this nervous since Uncle Jim caught me sneaking out with Teg when I was ten. Are you mad I didn’t tell you what I am?”
“No. But you are in trouble for biting me. It hurt and scared me. You could have said ‘Hi’ first.”
Disbelief flashed in his eyes, followed by humor.
“I wasn’t expecting to come across your scent when I went out for a run that night. It was so…”
The need to touch him surged a second before he smoothed back a strand of my hair. His fingers traced my cheek, and the contact soothed an ache inside of me that I hadn’t been aware of.
“My dad, my uncles, the Elders…they all said that we’d know when we find our mates.
Their scent would call to us. It wasn’t a call.
It was hypnotic. Intense. Irresistible. I didn’t know I was following it until I was in your yard.
When your mom came out, carrying a shotgun, I barely noticed.
Your scent was drifting out the front door. Stronger. Compelling me to keep going.”
His touch trailed down my neck, teasing the spot where he’d bitten me.
“I saw you in the moonlight, sitting up in bed, and I only had one thought.”
Desire began heating me from the inside.
“Mine.” His voice was rough as his hand gripped the back of my neck.
My gaze dipped to his lips.
He groaned, and then we were kissing. It was hungry and intense and ignited a need for Sam that burned through me.
And in that moment, I understood what Mom meant about not having a choice.
Sam would be my first and last everything.
My first kiss. My first real boyfriend. And my last breath.
He was the forever I craved and finally found, and now that I had him, I’d never let him go.
I gripped his shoulders, pulling him closer.
His hands circled my waist, and he lifted me like I weighed nothing, settling me on his lap without breaking contact. I drifted in the growing desire, fighting for more. More contact. More heat. More Sam.
He broke off the kiss, breathing hard. One of his hands was buried in my hair, and the other was kneading my hip.
“I’m not good at controlling myself around you, Clarity,” he said.
“I wish you were worse at it,” I said, kissing his throat.
He started shaking.
“Does this mean you accept that you’re my mate?” he asked.
I kissed his throat, wanting more of what we’d been doing, even though I knew it was time to stop. Or was it?
“Maybe,” I said, focusing on how much I wanted him instead of my amusement.
His shaking slowed, and I felt his confusion. It didn’t douse the need I still felt, though.
“Why maybe?” he asked.
“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about,” I said. “Apparently, friends can kiss. If you want me as your mate, we need to be more than friends. Take off your shirt.”
Suddenly, I was sitting alone on the couch.
Confused, I looked around and saw him standing by the door. He was shaking from head to toe, and the hungry, feral look in his eyes told me just how badly he was struggling to stay where he was.
Good.
“You bit me, Sam, and then called me a friend and said I was too young. Do you want a mate, or do you want a friend?”
He ran a hand through his hair, and the need to touch him intensified. I knew it wasn’t all mine. He wanted to touch me. Desperately.
I stood.
He retreated another step.
“Your shirt or my shirt,” I said. “You choose.”
He was hugging me a second later.
From behind.
Arms pinned to my sides, I couldn’t do anything but scowl and contemplate stomping on his dumb foot.
“We should finish this conversation at your house,” he said. “With your mom present.”
“Do you really want to talk about being mates in front of my mom?”
“I’d rather be open with her about our plans for the future.”
“Our future as friends or—”
He grabbed my chin and turned my head so he could kiss me hungrily again. It didn’t last nearly long enough, though, before he pulled away and set his forehead against mine.
“We’re more than friends,” he said. “You’re the reason for my existence. Whatever you need to feel complete and safe, I’ll provide, even if it means telling outsiders you’re a friend.” He rubbed his cheek against mine. “Not everyone is as accepting of what I am as you are.”
He’d said I was a friend to protect me?
I sighed and let my head fall back to his shoulder.
“Will you forgive me?” he asked gently.
“For the friend part, yes. The bite, though? You still owe me for that. That was the second scariest moment of my life. I heard kissing is great therapy for forgetting scary moments.”
He spun me around and was gently kissing me a second later.
Arms free, I took advantage and ran my hands up his chest.
He’d said my scent compelled him, but something about Sam drew me in just as deeply.
Grabbing his shoulders, I hopped up. He automatically caught my legs, assisting me, just like he’d done in the field and in the haunted house, even as he groaned his denial into my mouth.
“Shh,” I said, breaking away. “You said you’d give me what I need.”
“To feel complete and safe,” he said, shaking again.
“You complete me. You make me feel safe. I need you, Sam.”
My butt was once again on the couch, and he was standing by the now-open door.
I huffed an annoyed breath and crossed my arms.
“I’m not going to rape you.”
He winced, then pleaded with me. “Please, Clarity. You're not making this easier.”
“It’s not supposed to be easy. It’s supposed to be hard. But I wouldn’t know because you’re standing all the way over there. You should go put your grey sweat pants on.”
He rubbed a hand down his face. I smirked, loving how tormented he was feeling. He quickly looked up. Busted, I watched the shock play out on his face.
“You’re teasing me.”
“I am.”
“How did you…”
“Hide what I’m feeling from you?”
He nodded.
“By focusing on the feelings I want you to feel, rather than the ones I want to feel.”
He frowned and closed the distance between us, kneeling in front of me and taking my hands.
“Don’t stop yourself from feeling what you want to. You don’t need to hide from me. If you want to tease me, it’s okay.”
Amused, I leaned forward and looped my arms around his neck.
“But it’s not nearly as fun teasing you when you know that’s what I’m doing. Plus, I needed to pay you back for that time a huge dog busted into my house and bit me when I had no clue what was going on.”
He pleaded for forgiveness with his eyes.
“Okay. I’ll stop,” I said. “For now. I do want to talk about us, though. What is it going to mean for me to be your mate? You bought this house because of me. Does that mean we’ll live here together, or are we going to need to move around because of your job eventually?”
“We can stay here,” he said.
It was what I’d hoped he would say, because I didn’t want to leave Mom, but it was also the answer that worried me the most.
“Will it be safe?”
The lingering desire I felt vanished, proving just how much of it had been his.
“Is this because of yesterday?” he asked. “I never thought we would find anything. If I had, I wouldn’t have brought you. I would have—”
I darted in and kissed his neck.
“Whether I was there or not doesn’t change the fact that werewolves and Urbat are fighting, and humans tend to be the casualties, does it?
I just can’t figure out why that Urbat goth girl went after Mr. Clint and not me.
I mean, she was right there at the school with her knife and already saw us together at the ice cream parlor.
Her perfume might have confused you, but I doubt your scent confused her. ”
He clasped my arms, frowning at me.
“Why do you think she’s an Urbat?”
“Remember me telling you she was at school?”