28. Mav
TWENTY-EIGHT
MAV
Something is off. It’s big. And I hate it.
Since our Snow Day, Mckenna has kept her distance. She’s thrown herself into preparing for next semester, for her clinic, which makes zero sense since most of her classmates are home, enjoying the holiday break with their families.
Three nights ago, she spent the evening studying in the library. Two nights ago, she grabbed dinner with Lia, of all people. Last night, she was passed out when I got home from hanging with Flip.
I didn’t want to pass by his pre-NYE gathering, but with Mckenna giving me the cold shoulder, anything was better than sitting in the house, alone, wondering what the fuck shifted between us. And how the hell I missed it.
Sighing, I push Mckenna from my mind. We landed in Vegas over an hour ago. Jameson and Amelia flew out with us, which served as a buffer between Mckenna’s and my awkwardness.
Can you believe that?
Jameson and Amelia’s tumultuous relationship seemed more legit today than my fake-turned-confusing connection with Mckenna. That bothered me on a whole new level.
“You good?” Jameson asks as I flop down on the couch in his suite.
“Fine,” I reply.
He snorts. “Stop bullshitting me, man.”
I shake my head.
“You know, you guys seem really intense for a fake relationship. I thought you made up from the label’s Christmas party mess? You were gonna woo her,” he reminds me.
“I did,” I admit. “Things were great. I mean, we had a really nice Christmas, and then… I don’t know. It feels like she’s just lost in her own head. Physically, she shows up for everything, goes through the motions, but she isn’t really connected.” I tap the side of my head.
Levi snorts as he enters the suite. “Kenny should’ve ghosted you weeks ago.”
I flip him the middle finger.
“Where’s Reign?” Jameson asks.
“Greeting the girls with A. He’ll be up in ten.” Levi collapses next to me. “Can you believe we’re fucking playing Vegas for New Year’s Eve?”
“Ivy and Nova?” I guess.
“It’s gonna be sick,” Jameson agrees.
“Yeah.” Levi grins. Then he glances at me. “Yep, Nova and Ivy flew in for the show. It’s like a college reunion. My sister is fucking giddy, and Kenny looked pretty psyched too.”
“Nice. Mckenna didn’t tell me,” I admit.
“You’re not her keeper, bro,” Levi claps back.
I smack the back of his head.
I’m glad Mckenna’s friends are here. I know how isolating things have been for her. It will be good for her to ring in the new year with her girl group. It will be fun for all of them to watch the show and have a few nights out dancing and laughing.
My brother chucks a can of beer at my head. Since I’ve known him for years, my reflexes kick in, and I catch it with one hand. “Now you don’t have to worry about her or mope around, feeling guilty for shit. She’s probably having a better time hanging with her crew anyway.”
“Yeah,” I agree, snorting. But his words scrape against the walls of my chest. Is Mckenna having a better time with her friends than with me?
What the hell went wrong? How did things between us deteriorate so quickly? I thought we were clicking again.We were on even ground. We were…friends.
I crack open the beer and take a swig. Next to me, Levi pops the tab on his Coke and takes a long pull.
I swear, my relationship with Mckenna is giving me emotional whiplash. Is it fake or real? Are we off or on? Is it for the moment or the long term?
I can’t fucking keep up, and I’m trying my best to make her feel comfortable. To show her that she can trust me. To prove that I’m capable of being whatever she needs—a friend, a person to confide in, a guy who will look out for her. Why won’t she give me a damn inch?
“Are you guys ready?” Derek asks as he barrels into the room. “I want to check out the space, see the stage, and run through a few things before tomorrow’s rehearsal.”
“Absolutely,” Jameson agrees, setting down his beer.
I take another pull of mine before discarding it on the coffee table. “Let’s do it.”
We roll out of the suite and head to the venue.
I text Mckenna.
Me: Hey! Heading to the venue. You good?
I don’t know what I expect her to say. Maybe that she’s settling in. Or she’s hanging with her friends, shopping, or booking pedicures. Or even that she’s crashing a happy hour.
But I don’t expect her silence.
That she says nothing at all is a slap in the face.
Something isn’t off; something is wrong.
Our crew meets for a fancy dinner at a trendy sushi restaurant that night. Saké flows, huge platters of sashimi and specialty maki rolls line the center of the table, and the energy is high.
Even Mckenna is in better spirits.
She looks beautiful, dressed in an emerald-green dress that dips low in the front and ends mid-thigh. Sexy stiletto heels, a rhinestone clutch, and a fresh blow-out made me do a double take when I first laid eyes on her.
I still can’t stop staring.
“Y’all are adorable,” her friend Nova gushes, grinning at me.
Allegra laughs, looking at Nova. “Do you remember you and West back in college?”
“Heart eyes,” Ivy agrees, nodding enthusiastically.
Nova’s man, West Crawford, is a running back for the Knoxville Coyotes. He’s always been a good, upstanding guy. Right now, he’s at home in Tennessee, hanging with his baby girl Stella and his brother-in-law, while gearing up for his next game.
I frown, recalling a time when he and Nova were on the outs. How the hell did West swoop in and convince Nova to give him a second chance? I glance at Nova’s beaming face. At least West was successful. Maybe I should dial him up and take notes.
Mckenna ignores us, letting the compliment and chatter fly over her head. I sigh, wishing I could tell her how gorgeous she looks without having to speak over several people.
She’s fucking stunning.
She’s also three seats away.
When we arrived at the restaurant, Mckenna opted to sit between Allegra and Ivy. And me?
I’m stuck between Amelia— fuck me —and Levi.
Sighing, I order a double Jack and Coke. Derek gives me a knowing look and tries to hide his laughter behind a gulp of beer as Amelia talks my ear off about wedding flowers for her nonexistent wedding.
I down some sushi and proceed to get drunk as fuck as I watch my girl—because Mckenna is mine —laugh and joke and give her affection and attention to her friends, to Levi, to fucking Reign. But whenever her gaze finds mine, a wariness dims the blue in her eyes.
The more Mckenna blows me off, the more agitated I become. The restlessness pours out of my fingertips with an incessant tapping that Levi finally tells me to knock the fuck off.
I order some shots.
For every drink I have, Mckenna downs one too. I’m not sure if it’s a silent challenge aimed at me, or if she’s genuinely thrilled to be out and partying with her friends. Either way, I don’t tell her to slow down.
Who the hell am I to judge anyway?
Instead, I watch as she tosses back tequila with her girls. I keep my distance as the four of them make their way to the dance floor. I watch her from afar, but I don’t ruin her night.
I numb my frustration with alcohol and promise to get to the bottom of this bullshit tonight.
I won’t spend another night with my girlfriend, fake or not, icing me out. Not when I know how hot things can be between us.
Not when I miss her the way I do.
Not when I silently wish our fake label didn’t apply and Mckenna and I could take a real crack at the chemistry between us.
Because the way I feel right now is definitely not fake.
It’s the most intense desire and genuine need I’ve ever had for a woman.
If only Mckenna Byrne would give me the time of day.
“We need to talk.” I stride into the kitchenette of our suite, advancing on her. She’s still dressed in emerald green but has removed her heels and twisted her hair back into a low bun.
“You’re drunk,” she tells me as I corner her.But she’s smiling. Grinning at me like she doesn’t hate me anymore. Like the past few days of her freezing me out haven’t happened.
“So are you,” I slur.
She sighs. Grins. Her hands lift to my shoulders, but she doesn’t push me away like I expect. Instead, she stands still, resting her hands on my body and staring at me with a recklessness—a hunger—that causes a shot of adrenaline to spike through me.
“I know,” she admits, a giggle erupting from her throat.
“You’re happy.” It’s a statement.
“I miss my friends.”
“I miss you,” I tell her.
Her eyes shudder for a moment. A flicker of uncertainty followed by a flare of want.
“Kiss me, Mav,” she demands. “For real. Kiss me like you mean it.”
I dip my face toward hers, but something about her words pulls me up short. “I always mean it, Mckenna. This—me and you—it fucking means something.”
Her eyes widen, searching mine. “You mean, that paparazzo on the Snow Day… It wasn’t part of a plan?”
I rear back like she slapped me. “A plan?” I echo. Hurt burns through me, singeing some of my drunkenness and offering me twenty-twenty vision for a handful of seconds. “That’s what this is about? You thought I… Jesus, Mckenna, I’ve been going out of my mind trying to figure out what the hell changed between us. No, it wasn’t a plan. Every time I’ve kissed you, hell, every time I look at you, it’s because I fucking want you. Desperately.” My voice cracks.
“But you’re my friend,” she murmurs. “You see me as a friend. Right?”
“Fuck, yes. I see you as a friend.”
Her eyebrows tug together and her mouth twists.
“That’s the foundation. And then, I see you as so much more. I want you in ways that go way beyond friendship.”
Her expression softens as understanding washes over her face. Her eyes glitter in the moonlight that streams into our suite. It has two bedrooms but tonight, we’ll only need one. There’s no way I’m letting this moment pass without making sure Mckenna knows exactly how I feel about her.
I’m all in.
“Mav.” Her eyelids flutter, and she grips my shoulders tighter. Going up on her tippy toes, she presses her mouth against mine. Her lips are soft, her touch gentle. Exploratory.
When her tongue slips out and licks against the seam of my lips, I part mine and kiss her back. A growl rumbles through my chest, and my hands squeeze her waist.
Then, I pick her up, carry her to my bed and kick the door closed behind me.
“Tell me what you want, Mckenna,” I bite out. “Exactly what you want; I need to hear you say it.”
“You,” she replies. Her voice is husky. Her eyes are dark with want. They shimmer with relief that causes a crack to reverberate through my chest.
She thought I was playing her. That I wasn’t feeling this the same way she is. Nothing could be further from the truth.
I let out a shaky exhale and drop to her delectable body, giving her exactly what she wants.
Taking just what I need.
Her. It’s always been her.