Chapter 16
CHAPTER 16
S he didn’t hesitate. She dropped eagerly, tugging his pants down as he ripped his shirt over his head. He grasped her hair and yanked viciously, so when her mouth opened on a gasp, he could shove his big dick in. When he hit the back of her throat, she tried to retreat, but he kept her firmly impaled. Instinctively, she braced her hands on his thighs and pushed with all her might, but he didn’t budge.
She could either fight, gag, puke, or relax and accept him as he was. She blotted out the panic, ignored her gag reflex, and breathed through her nose. This was what she’d offered—to have him use her selfishly, without mercy. With Roth in control, she no longer had to think or second-guess; she could just be. When she dropped her hands, he let out a guttural groan and stroked her hair.
“Good girl. You take what I give you. Let me hear you choking on my cock. If I didn’t have obligations I couldn’t put off, I’d be coming down your throat several times a day instead of when you feel like sucking me off.”
He gripped her skull and began to fuck her mouth. She shut off her mind, letting him satisfy his primitive need to dominate and her equally strong compulsion to submit. She craved and feared this part of him in equal measure. This was the true Roth, the beast everyone sensed prowling beneath the surface. He was brutal, animalistic. The businessman was a veneer. Knowing that only she could tempt the monster out of hiding and assuage his cravings made her start sucking in earnest.
“Ugh, yes. Just like that. Take all of me.”
He worked himself inside of her until her face was plastered to his ridged abdomen and saliva dripped onto her chest.
“Hold, baby.”
She moaned, letting the vibrations consume his pulsing cock. He shuddered in ecstasy before pulling out so she could catch her breath. She slumped against him, coughing, and tried not to gag. Even as she struggled to catch her breath, she stroked his cock to make sure he was seen to. His hand covered hers and helped when her rhythm faltered.
“I need this from you,” he rasped. “I need you.”
“I know,” she whispered. Because she needed him in the same twisted way. She wanted a man willing to push her beyond her limits; to use her so thoroughly she was blissfully empty. Roth was the only man who seemed to understand her depraved desires better than she did. They were made to fulfill the emptiness inside of each other, a match made in heaven... or hell.
“Up.”
When she obeyed, he impatiently stripped off her sports bra and underwear before carrying her to the living room. He bent her over the wide, thick arm of the couch. She slumped on the cushions and wriggled her butt as his hand smoothed over her ass. She sighed contentedly.
The slap caught her off-guard—so much so that she let out an embarrassing yip and tried to hop over the arm of the couch to get away. A heavy hand held her in place as he gave her a few rapid strikes that left her stunned.
Roth kneaded her throbbing right cheek. “We did this before. I didn’t know what I was doing back then. Didn’t know I shouldn’t hit the same spot too many times. You couldn’t sit for two days.”
“You were horrified.” She let out a breathless laugh and shifted restlessly as anticipation and dread snaked through her. “I told you it looked worse than it felt, but you insisted on icing my ass, applying creams, and kissing it for two weeks straight. I couldn’t convince you to try again.”
“So, you tried with someone else.”
She tensed.
“You instructed... Dixon—was it?—how to spank, since you had experience, and he didn’t.”
She licked suddenly dry lips. “His real name was Derek.”
The slap on her ass stung so good her left cheek went numb.
“Sounds like he was memorable,” Roth said in a flat monotone.
“He... he was passable,” she said truthfully, hissing when he bit her and followed it up with a smack on the other cheek.
“You really want to be punished, don’t you?”
“Yes,” she whispered.
“You’re lucky I’m in an accommodating mood. Widen your stance.”
When she complied immediately, he kissed her smarting ass to show his approval before following it up with a firm whack that reverberated all the way to her pussy.
She had been spanked a handful of times, but her experience with Derek was the only one she included in the series. It wasn’t an opportunity that came around often. Not all men were into it. Most were satisfied with a few lighthearted swats. There was only one jerk who actually wanted to hurt her. She stopped him before it escalated and promptly kicked him to the curb.
There was always a bit of uncertainty and self-consciousness when it came to something like this with a new partner. It didn’t work if the guy wasn’t into it or alpha enough to take her in hand. But this was Roth. He knew her better than she knew herself. He knew when to push, when to ease back, and he’d clearly done his research because his technique was flawless. Every few slaps, he angled his hand in such a way that the crack reached her aching core. She wasn’t into pain per se, but she was willing to take it if the reward was worth it, and this high that had her buzzing and breathless was definitely worth it.
Roth didn’t allow her to get lost in a rhythm. He kept her in the moment, on pins and needles, anticipating the next strike. She lost track of time, of the number of spanks. When she thought she couldn’t take any more, he massaged and stroked, allowing the pain to ebb before giving her another dose that made her hungry for more. She was so wet, her inner thighs were slick. She wasn’t surprised when he became distracted and began to play with it and slipped his finger inside of her.
“Sore?” he asked gruffly.
Her ass was on fire. She nodded.
“Okay?”
She was so happy her eyes were leaking. “Ecstatic.”
“Good.”
She shivered as he stroked her pussy, coating his fingers in her liberal fluids, but her head shot up when he fingered the wrong hole. “Roth?”
Her voice was threaded with worry. They hadn’t had anal this time around. He was too big for them to do it without a ton of preparation and foreplay, and now wasn’t the time to?—
He breached her with his broad thumb, firing up unused nerve endings. Instantly, she started to rise, but that heavy hand came back to keep her in place.
“Stay still.”
“But this... I’m not ready.” Her back arched as his thumb forced its way in. “Roth!”
“Didn’t you say I had free rein to do whatever I wanted?”
“Y-yes, but?—”
Anxiety made her muscles clench so hard she got a teeth-jarring slap that made her break out in a sweat.
“You want this to be your punishment?” he growled.
She shook her head wildly.
“Then stop fighting and let me in.”
She tried to relax as he worked his thumb inside of her, knowing this was nothing compared to what was coming if he decided to take her ass.
“This is the one thing I haven’t reclaimed. Been wanting this, but I put it off. No longer. Time to take what’s mine.” His voice dropped. “This is mine, isn’t it?”
“Yes?” She was so rattled it came out like a question, which earned her another wallop that made her ass throb.
“Now’s not the time to fuck with me. Who owns you?”
“You do.”
He leaned over her as he sheathed his thumb completely.
“That’s right. I own every fucking inch.” He nuzzled her as she shuddered. “Do you trust me?”
She nodded.
“Then let go.”
She dropped her head forward. Mind and body battled for supremacy before her heart stepped in, defeating both. When she went limp in surrender, he kissed her nape.
“Good girl.”
With her cheek pressed to the cushion, she stared at a cloudy, moonlit sky as he plied her body. It was a confusing mix of pain and wicked pleasure. She lost herself in the plethora of burning sensations and let her mind drift, but she tensed when his fingers were replaced with the head of his cock.
“Roth, I don’t think?—”
“You can take me. You have before.”
That was little consolation.
He entered her, moving slowly, giving her body time to adjust. She willed her body to stay loose and focused on her breath like a woman in labor to distract her from the discomfort. She shifted from foot to foot as she tried to find a position that would ease his invasion, but a spasm shattered her pseudo-serenity.
She braced one hand on the cushions and half-turned to splay a hand on his rigid abdomen. “I can’t do this. We have to stop.”
He paused but didn’t withdraw.
“I’m sorry,” she panted. “I think I need…”
Her voice died out as his dick burrowed deeper. Her nails pressed into his skin.
“Roth, I’m done. I can’t?—”
She wasn’t prepared for him to pump his hips, forcing her muscles to give way to his relentless onslaught. She let out a desperate, bleating cry before she raked him with her nails. That got her arm pinned behind her back and her face shoved in the seat cushions. She fought in earnest, wriggling, kicking, and then pleading for mercy, but he didn’t stop.
When he was finally balls-deep, she was completely motionless. Her ass was ablaze in more ways than one and she was dizzy from the pain. She stayed very still, knowing one wrong move could make him lose control. She squeezed her eyes tight as she waited for the excruciating agony to subside.
Roth released her arm, which fell like a dead weight to her side. The cushions depressed on either side of her as he blanketed her defeated form. His hand skated along her side before cupping her breast and squeezing her budded nipple.
“You were made for me, princess. Made to take me in every way possible.” He brushed her hair aside to see her tear-drenched face. “You were being such a good fuck doll until you fought back.” He nipped her earlobe. “But I love when you fight. Makes my victory so much sweeter.” When he ground against her, she whimpered. “You’re so fucking beautiful. I wish everyone could see you like this. Subjugated, claimed, mine.”
He peppered kisses over her sweaty neck as he rocked against her. Her heel knocked into his shin as she mewled. Her body was overloaded with sensation.
“I-I’m on fire,” she gasped.
Tension invaded his muscles. “Let me put it out, princess.” He straightened and gripped her hips. “Ready?”
“Roth—”
He didn’t let her finish her sentence. He pulled out and plunged back in. Her mouth opened on a silent scream as the wind was knocked out of her. Her body went up in flames. She thought she knew what was coming, but this was no comparison to the other times he’d taken her. He was merciless, brutal, almost evil. He used her like an object, not a living being. She upended the cushions as she fought with all she had, screaming disjointed phrases before subsiding into unintelligible, demoralized sounds as he pushed her beyond anything she’d experienced. Her mind became a white slate with splashes of black and red that pulsed in time with her body.
“Fuck!”
He bellowed as her body milked his jetting cock. He folded over her, his face landing beside hers as he tried to catch his breath.
“Jasmine.”
She heard him say her name from a long way off. She didn’t fight to get back to him but allowed her mind to float in a euphoric blank space. This was better than orgasm; almost spiritual. The cost to reach such a plane was steep. It required a partner to break her physically so she could detach from her body and fly. She made brief visits to this place when someone pushed her limits, but she had never attained this weightless nothingness. She was in a place with no thought, just pure feeling. It was bliss, a break from her worldly suffering and she wanted to bask in it as long as possible, but Roth was intruding.
He was talking to her, but it was all garbled nonsense to her. When he abruptly straightened and pulled out of her, the flash of pain splashed electric-blue over the red-and-black splatters on her white slate.
“Fuck,” Roth swore before he scooped her up in his arms.
She kept her eyes closed as he stalked through the penthouse. Where he was going, she had no idea, and didn’t care. She wished he’d leave her be. He got his rocks off. Now, it was time for her to float. She hated that her awareness of her surroundings was coming back. The sound of his bare feet on marble and then carpet as he passed through the master suite, and then a hollow echo as he stepped into the shower.
She pushed at him. “Leave me alone.” She was too exhausted to take note of the way he stiffened before he set her on her feet.
He cupped her chin. “Look at me.”
Didn’t he understand the moment she opened her eyes, her connection with this hard-won heaven would be lost? Why was he badgering her? She ignored him and kept her eyes closed.
The shower came on. She knew washing was imperative, so she tolerated as he tended to her aching body. She was forced to lean against him, because her limbs weren’t working right. Thankfully, he got rid of her wet socks, which were bothering her.
“Bed.”
She sounded drunk. She felt it too. Nothing sounded better than burrowing under the covers and drifting off to La La Land, but apparently, Roth had other plans. He carried her out of the shower and across the bathroom before he set her on her feet.
She swayed. “What doing?” she asked fretfully as registered the sound of more running water.
“You need to soak.”
“I don’t wanna.” She sounded pathetic, but she wasn’t entirely in control of her faculties at the moment and had apparently defaulted to her ten-year-old self.
He cupped the back of her head in his massive palm and pressed her face against his naked chest. He must still be coming down from his orgasm. She could hear his heart racing.
“A soak will make you feel better. Let me do this for you.”
His voice sounded odd, but she was too weary to lift her head and see why. The oils he tossed into the hot water scented the air. He wrapped his arms around her and took her weight as he gently rocked her from side to side as the tub filled. By the time he shut off the water, she was half-asleep.
When he stepped into the tub with her, she scrunched up and whimpered as the water lapped against her.
“You’re fine,” he murmured, brushing his lips over her temple. “I didn’t make it as hot as I wanted to.”
He dipped her a few times to get her accustomed to the temperature before he sank with her until she was chin deep. She sighed and reclined against his broad chest. His hand moved over her body, soothing her fractured nerves as she came down from the endorphin and adrenaline high.
When he started to rub her clit, she pushed at his hand.
“Let me give this to you,” he whispered.
“I don’t need?—”
“ I need this.”
She didn’t understand what he meant and didn’t have the energy to stop him, so she let him stroke and caress. She thought her body was too depleted to produce an orgasm, but once it sensed another reward on the horizon, her body coiled tight.
“Roth,” she choked.
He butted his face against hers. “That’s it. Come for me.”
Water sloshed over the sides of the tub as she chased her orgasm. He held her tight while she convulsed and when her head listed back to rest on his shoulder, his lips cruised along her jaw and throat. Tears slipped down her cheeks. No one made her feel this way. He was her oppressor and her liberator, her master and devoted servant. He used her hard, but also made sure he tended to her in the aftermath to ensure she was comfortable, comforted, and happy. Sex was a psychological game, and no one fucked with her mind better than he did. Her heart felt full as she reached back and cupped his cheek.
“Thank you.”
The arm around her waist turned to iron. “What?”
“You’ve always known what I need to get to that place.”
“I didn’t hurt you?”
“You did, but I needed it.”
He wrapped both arms around her and buried his face against her shoulder.
“I should have stopped.”
The regret in his tone made her brow furrow.
“If you stopped, I wouldn’t be on cloud nine right now.” Her tone was deliberately blasé. He just gave her one of the most eye-opening, liberating experiences of her life and was ruining it by having an attack of guilty conscience.
“I can’t allow myself to get to a point where nothing you say will stop me. I’m so disciplined in every area of my life except when it comes to you. I have no limits, no control. I’m capable of anything.”
Sensing his genuine distress, she stroked his thigh. “I’m fine, Roth.”
“This time, you are, but next time…”
“We aren’t new lovers. We know each other’s preferences and what we can or can’t handle. You know I like it rough—brutal, sometimes. So do you. You know I like to be dominated, to be forced. I need to fight, and I needed you to fight for me. We both won.”
His hands slid over her body, slippery from the bath oil. “I like when you give in to me, but I like it more when you put up a fight and need to be tamed.” He sighed. “But it’s dangerous. I never know what I—or you—will do.”
“I trust you.”
“You shouldn’t.”
She opened her mouth to contradict him, but his next words wiped everything else from her mind.
“Ariana’s right to keep her children away from me.”
She sat up so fast, water sloshed over the side of the tub. When she tried to turn, the arm around her tightened so she couldn’t see his face. The lights in the bathroom were on the lowest setting so she wouldn’t be able to see much anyway, but…
“How the hell do you know that?” she shouted, talking with her hands and splashing water everywhere. “Damn it, Roth! Stop listening to my phone calls!”
“You defended me.”
“Of course I did! You wouldn’t harm a child.”
“How do you know?”
She went very still. “You would?”
“My mother calls me a monster. Your father blackmailed me. Look what I just did to you. You’d trust me with a kid?”
“Yes!”
“Why?” He sounded genuinely baffled.
She crossed her arms over her chest. “Why did you come to Colorado when Kaia was in the hospital?”
Tension invaded his muscles. “What does that have to do with anything?”
“Everything. You’re estranged from your mother, haven’t seen her in years, yet when she was in need, you came. Why?”
“That has nothing to do with your sister thinking I’d take my temper out on a child.”
“It shows you have a code. Even though your mom made your childhood hell, you hired a nurse to care for her while she recovered. That doesn’t sound like a monster to me.”
It was one of the many contradictions surrounding him, but it proved that he wasn’t completely devoid of empathy as his mother thought. He provided for Kaia during her time of need and maintained some loyalty to her, even though his mother didn’t return the sentiment. It was an observation that comforted her, even as it drove her up the wall with frustration and curiosity.
“You won’t tell me Lyle’s secret because he supported me, and I’d stake my life on the fact you’d shield my niece and nephew even though you don’t care for their parents, because they’re innocent.” She made a flicking motion with her hand, causing dozens of droplets to disturb the water. “Besides, you’re scared to death of them.”
“Excuse me?” His affronted tone made her snort.
“You’re terrified of Kye and Bailey. You’re always edging away because you’re scared you’ll hurt them. You avoid eye contact, hoping they’ll ignore you, but that’s a lost cause, because they see it as a game to do whatever’s necessary to get your attention. I’ve been around plenty of men who think children are a nuisance. My father didn’t even notice us unless we did something wrong or needed to be reprimanded. You were riveted by them. You noticed Kye was about to fall out of his seat. You loved listening to Bailey speak in different languages and talk about school. You’re more aware of the kids than their own parents. They know you care, which is why they were crawling all over you.” She reached back and cupped his face. “You wouldn’t harm a child, Roth. You don’t have it in you.”
“You don’t know what’s in me,” he rumbled.
Her breath hitched as her body cramped. She shifted, trying to find a better position and smiled when Roth took over. He rearranged her until she relaxed. Actions spoke louder than words.
“I know enough about you,” she said.
“I swear I’ll never?—”
Sensing he was about to make a promise she didn’t want him to keep, she covered his mouth with her hand. “Don’t promise that this won’t happen again because I’m going to make sure it does.”
The heavy silence made her mouth quirk.
“The only way you can fix me is to break me and most don’t have what it takes.” She stroked his cheek. “Same for you. You have to allow yourself to go to those dark places to exorcise whatever’s haunting you.” She hesitated before she ventured, “You said you’ve seen the worst a human can do to another. What did you mean by that?”
He clutched her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I don’t want that to touch you.”
“I don’t want it to touch you either!” she said fiercely. “I want to help you.”
“You are.” He kissed her palm and then the tip of each finger. “This is helping me more than you know. I just wish you didn’t have to pay such a high price.”
“It was my pleasure.”
He let out a rusty chuckle before he sighed and wrapped himself around her. “What am I going to do with you?”
“This is a good start,” she said around a yawn.
He kissed her shoulder. “Float, princess. I’ll take care of you.”
She took him at his word and floated on two different planes. She was vaguely aware he removed her from the tub at some point. She didn’t feel a draft, because he quickly wrapped her in a robe and carried her to bed. She let out a happy sigh as she burrowed under the duvet.
When he slid in beside her, she mumbled, “Work?”
“I have time.”
She snuggled against him and didn’t remember falling asleep, but she roused when she heard him talking.
“Something came up.”
Her eyes fluttered as she tried to surface.
“I know. We’re going to have to push the appointment.” A pause. “Cancel my meeting with Heinrich too.”
Her eyes popped open. Roth paced near the bedroom door with his cell phone to his ear.
“Book him for next year. I don’t care.”
“Roth!”
He turned, saw she was awake, and immediately came toward her. “How are you feeling?”
She registered he was standing in full sunlight and dressed in a pair of sweatpants and a burgundy long-sleeve. “What the hell are you doing here?”
He frowned and brushed her hair back from her face. “Do you need painkillers or something to eat?”
She gaped at him before giving him a shove. “Are you crazy? I’m fine! Go to work!”
When she heard cackling from his phone, she snatched it from him. “Sarai?”
“We need another coffee date,” Sarai trilled.
She ignored that and snapped, “Don’t cancel his appointment with Heinrich. Actually, do you have his number?” She rolled across the bed when Roth tried to take the phone from her. “I promised I’d get in touch with his wife.”
“I’ll get the wife’s number. There’s no reason for you to have his,” Roth snapped.
“He’ll be in the office within the hour,” Jasmine said and hung up on Sarai’s laughter. “Did you miss your call with Grayson?”
“How do you know about that?”
“Did you?”
“I took the call here.”
She didn’t want to give Grayson more reasons to dislike her. If it weren’t for Grayson, her father might have succeeded in ruining Roth. She was hoping one day they could be friends. They had a lot in common. They’d seen something in Roth no one else had.
She got to her feet and hissed when her tender backside throbbed. If he weren’t standing there watching, she would have collapsed on the bed. Instead, she made a great show of standing up straight even though it hurt like a bitch. Her ass felt like it had gotten the worst sunburn ever, and the sharp, dragging pain was bad enough that she wouldn’t be doing much. But for Roth’s sake, she put her hands on her hips and declared, “See? I’m perfectly fine. Now, go to work!”
“You’re certain?”
“Yes!” she stressed, exasperated.
“You’ll stay here and rest?”
“Yes.”
“If you need anything?—”
“Roth, aside from the hundred or so overattentive staff in this building, you employ a small army of men willing to do anything to please me.” When his eyes narrowed, she grimaced. “That came out wrong.” When he stalked toward her, she held up her hand. “And you can’t cancel with Heinrich just because...” When he stopped in front of her, she lost her train of thought.
“Because?” he prompted.
She waved her hands. “Because nothing happened between us! It was innocent!”
He held out his hand. As she handed his phone over, she realized two weeks ago she wouldn’t have even considered doing such a thing. Today, she’d done it knowing there’d be no serious repercussions. Amazing, how much one’s perspective could change in so little time.
He cupped her chin, forcing her to meet his unflinching stare. “Don’t interfere with my schedule.”
“But you’re canceling an appointment because of me.”
“He’s fucking with me. All of them are.”
“What? Who?”
“The men I was with when you visited the office have been spreading rumors. Heinrich was deliberately trying to rile me.”
Oh boy. She hoped these men knew what they were doing. Roth had little to no sense of humor and wouldn’t appreciate being baited, even though it was intended as good fun.
“Canceling his appointment will just make it worse.” She sighed when he scowled. “Fine. Do what you want.”
She tried to go around him but was pulled up short when he grabbed her arm.
“We’re okay?”
She didn’t roll her eyes, though it hurt to control the impulse. “Yes.”
She knew the exact moment he decided to believe her.
“You need anything, call, and I’ll come home.”
“Yes, yes. Now, go.”
She watched as he strode to the closet. He was dressed and ready to go in less than ten minutes. He stole a kiss, even though she was in the middle of brushing her teeth. He carelessly wiped his mouth on a towel before exiting, leaving the tantalizing scent of his cologne lingering in the air.
She stared at her reflection and the toothpaste dripping onto her robe and shook her head. She was so fucked.