Chapter 35
AWKWARD CONVERSATIONS
Clover
Ifeel ill, like I might toss my cookies at any moment. I’m trying to stay engaged in conversation with my colleagues, but it’s a challenge when my boyfriend and his parents are less than a hundred feet away and currently celebrating the fact that their son has graduated.
Professor Longley—a man in his mid-forties, who has on more than one occasion this semester asked if I’d like to have coffee, and I’ve always been busy—is droning on and on about the different kinds of coffee beans and how the ones they use at some café downtown are the best. Mary Connor, one of the sociology professors, is hanging on his every word.
I wish he would get a clue and ask her out, since it’s clear she’s into him.
It makes me question what the hell I’m doing and how this thing with Maverick can ever work. But I remind myself that I have one more week in my contract, and then I’m finished. Then we’re just two people in a relationship.
I excuse myself to the bathroom. My mouth is dry, my palms are sweaty, and I’m ridiculously jittery, as though I’ve consumed a gallon of coffee and followed it up by chugging a bottle of maple syrup.
I use the ladies’ room, gather my senses, and exit, prepared to excuse myself to my office.
I need to get out of here so I don’t start second-guessing myself and what I’m doing more than I already am.
The hardest part has been watching Maverick and his parents talk to his professors from this semester, knowing that they’re discussing how bright he is, probably asking if he’s interested in pursuing a master’s, despite being aware of his NHL future.
I can’t approach them, speak with them, tell them how amazing I think their son is, because of our relationship.
He can do anything he wants. Be anything he wants. The world is at his fingertips. And instead of hanging out at bars on the weekends or talking to girls his own age, he’s playing Scrabble with me in the evening, reading Psychology Today, and having sex all over my house.
“What am I doing?” I chastise myself. I step out into the hall and almost run into another woman.
“I’m so sorry.” I stumble back, and my mouth goes even drier. Because I’m standing face-to-face with Maverick’s mother.
She’s a tiny woman, slight and curvy with long, wavy auburn hair. I realize I’ve seen her daughter on campus, Maverick’s younger sister, because she looks almost exactly like her.
“I was wondering if I could have a word.” Her expression is pinched, uncertain.
Saying no is not an option. Not if I want an actual relationship with Maverick, and even though I’m questioning myself today, my heart already knows what it wants.
“Of course.” I glance down the hallway. There are conference rooms to the right. “We can go in here; there’s more privacy.” I use my faculty card to unlock the door and turn on the lights, ushering her inside before I follow and close the door.
She clutches her purse in her hands. It’s ornate, decorated with beads, and looks like a math textbook.
Her gaze moves over me. “You don’t look old enough to be a professor.
If you came to a liquor store and I was working the cash, I would definitely card you.
Even if you were buying a fifty-dollar bottle of wine. ”
“Fifty-dollar bottles of wine are a little above my current paygrade.” Oh my God. Did I just lip off to my boyfriend’s mother?
She shakes her head. “I would never work the cash register at a liquor store. It would be super depressing to see the same guy come in every day and buy Colt 45. Mouthwash would be a better option than that shit. It tastes like lighter fluid that’s been marinating in a toilet.”
“I will take your word for it.” I wait, because obviously she didn’t pull me in here to talk about malt liquor.
“What exactly are your intentions with my son?”
“Can you be more specific?”
She blows out a breath. “Are you reliving your twenties because you missed out on them the first time around? That ex-husband of yours seems like a bit of a bomb waiting to go off, and you had to have been young when you met him. Early twenties, maybe? So you took a pass on all the fun stuff because you settled down with a douchecanoe, and then you saw my son and thought he would be a good way to get your rocks off for a while? Or maybe he’s a ticket to a life of leisure? ”
“Wow. Okay. Um, my ex-husband is the worst choice I’ve ever made.”
“That’s saying something, since you’re sleeping with one of your students.”
I have to give it to her, she’s a straight shooter and a protective momma bear, which isn’t a surprise given the way Maverick talks about her. Her children are a top priority. I need to put myself in her shoes.
“I realize we don’t know each other, and maybe you have concerns—”
“Concerns? You’re sleeping with a twenty-one-year-old who happens to be my son.” She crosses her arms. “What could you possibly have in common, other than the fact that he’s in his sexual prime and you’re approaching yours?”
Blaming the man who likes to hold the blame would be a terrible betrayal to him and what we mean to each other.
I wait again, unsure if she’s done or if she’s planning to rip into me some more.
She has a right. It tells me what I need to know.
That he’s important to her. That she cares. Just like I do.
“Well? Are you into hockey? Or just hockey players? Or is it limited to my son?”
The sarcasm is strong with this one. “Do you actually want an answer, or do you just want to attack me?” I ask.
“He’s my baby, and you’re taking advantage of him!” Her eyes are on fire. “He has a bright future, and you are not going to get in the way of that.”
“I don’t want to get in the way of his future. I know he’s on track to be called up by an NHL team. Whether we’ll be able to manage a long-distance relationship remains to be seen, but I would never try to persuade him not to go down that path, if that’s what he wants.”
“If? He’s been training his entire life for this. He’s lived and breathed hockey since he could walk. This is what he’s worked for, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let some woman with relationship issues drag my son down and ruin his future.”
If she could breathe fire, I’m sure she would. I can appreciate her conviction and her love for her son.
“I realize how this must look from where you’re standing, and I don’t think there’s anything I can say that’s going to make you see it differently. I don’t know if Maverick told you this, but he intervened when I was almost attacked by a group of men.”
“What? When?”
“It was the end of October. I was putting out my garbage, and a group of drunk men started heckling me. They surrounded me, and Maverick stopped whatever was or wasn’t going to happen. And then he made sure I was okay and suggested I take the self-defense class he teaches.”
Her brows pull together. “That sounds like him, but it doesn’t explain how you ended up in a relationship.”
“I’m getting to that. I want you to know it didn’t start with any sinister intentions.”
“He told me you hooked up in the summer.”
My eyebrows rise. “Wow. He’s really open with you, isn’t he?” I feel my face heat with embarrassment. Interesting that he’ll divulge that kind of information but talking about what happened to his sister is such a closed subject.
“He has verbal diarrhea. It’s hereditary. I’m sure if he could have kept that part to himself, he would have. As a mother of a daughter, I have to say, you are incredibly lucky that you hooked up with my son, and not some asshole.”
“It was . . . impulsive, and out of character, and not something I would typically do. I don’t know how to explain it, but I felt safe with him, despite not knowing him as well as I should have.”
“He wouldn’t hurt a fly—unless he’s on the ice, anyway.”
I nod. “He’s more likely to catch it so he can set it free outside. Anyway, I went to the self-defense class. Only once, but he was insistent, and I thought it was a good idea. He told me he started teaching them because of what happened to his sister.”
She takes a step back, and her fingers go to her bottom lip.
She rubs the center of it, like Maverick does every time he talks about his sister.
That scar. The one that came after the trauma, when she was locked in the closet during the game of hide-and-seek.
“I don’t understand how all of this connects. ”
“I got to know him as a person.” I look up at the ceiling. “He is very charismatic and also hard to say no to.”
“It’s the dimples. They’re a curse. His dad has them. Man can convince a desert dweller to buy a space heater like—” She snaps her fingers.
“The dimples are hard to resist,” I agree.
“This still doesn’t tell me what your intentions are. He’s young. A lot happens in your twenties, as I’m sure you’re aware. And his career is just starting, where yours is already established. How will that work? Are you planning to follow him wherever he signs?”
I shake my head. “I’ll be staying here.” Or at least close to here.
“And how will that work? Being the wife of an NHL player isn’t easy. There are a lot of sacrifices. Your career comes second.” It sounds like both a warning and a challenge.
“I don’t know what the future holds for him and me, but I’ll support whatever path he wants to take, whether it’s to pursue a career in the NHL or something else. And I realize it won’t be easy, but I don’t want to give up on us before we’ve even had a chance to try to make it work.”
“He’s been training for this his entire life. He needs to stay focused on his goals.”
“Is this a polite way of telling me I should step back?” I arch a brow.
“I don’t want Maverick to get sidetracked by a fling and throw his entire future away. And some of the things he’s said recently concern me, and they very conveniently coincide with his relationship with you.”
“I don’t want to get in the middle of you and your family, but I also won’t minimize my relationship with Maverick.
He’s far too important to me, and I understand if this is difficult for you, but at least try to see it from his perspective.
” I hold up a hand before she has a chance to interrupt.
“Maverick is incredibly selfless. He puts everyone else’s needs ahead of his own.
Particularly when it involves the people he loves, and that includes but isn’t limited to his family, his friends, and his teammates.
This year hasn’t been easy for him.” I want his mother to understand that there’s more to this than just my relationship with her son, and that blaming it on me is convenient.
“Because of contract talks?” It’s a question, not a statement.
“Among other things. He carries the weight of the world on his shoulders, and the path he’s on is a challenging one.
He has some big shoes to fill. Look, I won’t betray Maverick’s confidence, but know he’s grappling with a lot.
Our life circumstances and what we’ve both been going through brought us together in ways neither of us expected.
I didn’t intend to fall in love with him, no more than he intended to fall in love with me.
But it happened. You don’t have to like our relationship, but it seems a lot like you’ve already condemned it. ”
“His life is just starting.”
“I know. And I won’t get in the way of that.
Whatever he wants, I will support and encourage, because that’s what partners do.
I know this is unconventional, but I would have walked away long before now if I didn’t think our relationship was worth the challenges.
He’s under a lot of pressure. Feel however you want to feel about me but stand beside him.
He’s already fighting enough demons. He needs your love right now more than anything. ”
I turn and walk out of the room, hoping I haven’t done more damage than good.