Chapter 22 #4
“Well then, that is all you had to say.” Maddox disappeared into the pilot’s cabin and reappeared a moment later. He returned and sat down in his seat. “We will be landing in Michigan in a couple of hours. Why don’t you try to get some sleep until we land?”
I smiled at him. Reclining the seat, I rolled onto my side and got comfortable. As I began to drift off to sleep, I felt Maddox place a blanket over me.
After what felt like only a few minutes, the feeling of the wheels hitting the tarmac pulled me from my sleep.
I stretched and rubbed my eyes; looking around as I brought the back of my seat forward.
Maddox was up a few rows. He turned and saw that I had woken up.
He stood and made his way back to the seat across from me.
“I messaged Ronan and instructed him to return to the compound. I informed him that you would fill him in on everything once you return.”
“Thank you.”
Maddox exited the plane and waited for me at the bottom of the steps.
I took his hand to steady myself as I took the final step, my feet hitting solid ground.
We walked to the waiting vehicle, and Maddox opened the door.
I slid into the backseat and moved over so he could slide into the seat next to me.
He advised the driver of our destination, as I laid my head on his shoulder and started to doze off again. He woke me when we reached the house.
Once we got inside, I began to climb the stairs when Maddox ran ahead of me.
“I want to check the second floor before you get settled into your room.”
“I just want to change my clothes. I had a three-hour nap, so I’m not that tired right now, but I do need to get out of these clothes and get into something more comfortable.” I wanted something soft against my skin.
“Just let me check the room first, and then you should be good to go. I had Ronan take care of the repairs that were needed while you were gone. Well, he made the necessary calls to have the things taken care of. Like the mirror in your bathroom, for example.”
“How about the study door?” I knew that he was the one that obliterated it. No human man could have done that.
I was walking behind him, but he turned his head slightly, and I saw a smile on his face. I waited outside the bedroom while he searched the room for any threats. He came out of the door and gestured for me to enter the room.
“Everything is good in there.”
I went inside and shut the door. In the bathroom, the mirror had been replaced.
I turned on the shower and adjusted the temperature.
Quickly, I got in and cleaned the sweat off my body.
I exited the shower, toweled off, and pulled a brush through my hair.
I brushed my teeth and put on deodorant.
Wrapping the towel around my body, I went back into my room to find some fresh clothes to put on.
I grabbed a pair of underwear from the dresser and slid them on.
Opening my closet, I picked a light green knit sweatshirt with matching drawstring shorts.
I ran the sweater-like fabric against my cheek, closing my eyes.
The tension in my muscles began to ebb. My nose filled with the scent of laundry soap, and I inhaled deeply.
Slowly, I opened my eyes and reluctantly got dressed. I headed downstairs to find Maddox.
I ended up finding him in the kitchen with a bottle of whiskey.
Grabbing a glass from the cupboard, I sat it down on the counter next to him and picked up the bottle.
I poured a few ounces into the glass and moved to the freezer for ice.
As I walked by Maddox, I hip-checked him and snatched the bottle.
In the living room, I took a seat on the couch and set the bottle down on the coffee table. Maddox flopped down on the couch and picked up the bottle to top off his drink. When he sat back, I threw my feet in his lap.
“So, what did you think about today?” I needed a second opinion, and I needed it to be from someone that was present, and I could trust.
“What do you think? What did your gut tell you?” Here we go. He wasn’t going to simply give me his opinion. I might as well start drinking; this was going to take a while.
“I think that I don’t want to make the wrong decision.
I think that vampires, for centuries, have been pegged as uncaring and soulless—individuals that couldn’t know real love in any capacity, whether it be romantic or familial love.
History, on the other hand, is evidence that humans are the real monsters.
Is the vampire that drains your blood and ends your life in order to survive really evil?
What about the man that beats his wife in front of their children?
The man that stalks a woman every night to learn her patterns so that he can rape her—not for sexual pleasure but for the sole purpose of having unrelenting power over her.
The woman who pimps out her own daughter because she has a drug addiction to support, and she is past her prime.
People who target older people for any number of reasons.
Who are the real monsters?” I finished my glass, and Maddox took the top off the bottle and poured more into each of the empty glasses.
“I think that you should trust your instincts more often. You appear confident, and that is a great thing, but as soon as you are alone, you question every move you make. I think you are so much more than you give yourself credit for. You think way further into things than most people. You try to examine things from every angle and not everyone is capable of doing that. You really don’t know how truly rare and unique you are.
You are explaining to me why you believe Alexander more than Scott.
You do not have to explain anything to me.
I was present for both meetings and saw the same things you did. ”
“So, I wasn’t picking up on things that weren’t there?”
I was starting to feel better about the conclusion I was coming to. It felt like he was validating my decision, and it helped even more being Maddox. I had a feeling that Ronan wasn’t going to truly agree with me.
“You saw what you saw, and you aren’t going crazy or making things up. You are very perceptive, and I have yet to see you be wrong.”
“I really appreciate that, and I appreciate you. I’m not sure that Ronan is going to agree with me about this.”
“Well, I can tell you that Ronan doesn’t have an opinion on this.
He was only there for one of the meetings, and it was that way on purpose.
He seems a little off lately, and I’m not sure if it’s his relationship with you or if it’s something else.
I’m having trouble figuring it out. It isn’t preventing him from doing his job.
He just seems—overinvested—I guess, is a good word to use.
Everything seems very personal to him as of late.
I would say it is far too early for him to be in love with you, but those are the vibes I’m getting.
You are not the average woman, and the two of you have history. ”
I laughed out loud. “He is absolutely not in love with me. I am not getting those vibes from him at all. He is extremely jealous and used to being in control of his emotions. I also have a feeling he isn’t used to rejection.
He wouldn’t be in the position he was in if he acted like this all the time.
I ended our romantic relationship last night.
I told him I valued him too much professionally to let it interfere. ”
“Then I can completely understand why you wouldn’t want him around you right now.
My question to you is: do you think you can trust him to do his job now that you ended it?
Do you think it’s going to clear his head?
” Maddox was very serious when he asked this question, and it made me slightly uncomfortable.
“Can I trust him to advise me on the affairs of The Order? I barely know him. How can I answer the question without any doubt?”
“Can you trust me to do my job?”
“Don’t fucking do that. You protect me; he is supposed to be advising me.”
“It is a simple question, Joslyn. Do you trust me to do my job?” he asked the question again.
“Yes, I trust you to do your job! Of course I do—you are here, aren’t you?” I snapped at him with my nostrils flaring.
“So, you trust me to protect your life from very real threats. However, you don’t trust him to give you advice on matters of The Order. Yet here you are, seeking my advice on matters of The Order. Am I wrong?” A smile spread across his face. That part pissed me off even more.
“So, you’re saying that I need to trust Ronan more?” If he wanted to fuck with me, I could fuck with him too.
“That is not what I said at all. If you believe he is having trouble performing his job, then maybe it shouldn’t be his job. That is what I said.”
“If I had known about all of this before now, then maybe I would have had the chance to get to know Ronan better. I wouldn’t doubt if I could trust him if there was a track record, but there isn’t.
I sort of feel like the person that I trust the most is who should hold the position he holds. Does that make sense?”
“Absolutely. However, my guess is that the people that you trust the most are completely clueless about all of this. Therefore, they wouldn’t be able to help you. It’s an impossible decision and I don’t envy you.”
“I want to trust him as my advisor, and it might not be fair, but we can’t have it both ways.
He is my advisor and not my boyfriend. It’s more important for me to trust him professionally.
Which is why I ended it. I do not need to be a constant distraction, and that is what it looks like to me.
I may be wrong, but at this point, it is what it is. ”
“You are the boss, and if this is how you trust him, it’s how it has to be.
But you know, Princess, I also think that you should stop finding reasons to think that he is annoying and that he isn’t doing his job.
All you are really doing is trying to find a reason to break up with him, so you don’t have to feel bad. ”
“Feel bad about what, exactly?”
“About wanting to spend all your time with me. You feel bad because I get you. I challenge you to challenge yourself. I hear you when you don’t speak, and I read between the lines when you do.
I read your cues; I know when you are angry, sad, insecure, and when you are overwhelmed.
I adjust and make moves, so you don’t have to.
When you are in my presence, you are at ease, and you feel safe.
On top of all of that, I am really hot, and when I get close to you, your pulse begins to race.
When I run my fingers along your skin, you get goosebumps.
” As he said this, his fingers trailed along the inside of my wrist, and my entire arm broke out in goosebumps.
“Or if I get really close and whisper in your ear, so only you can hear me. It sends chills up your spine, which pushes your chest forward and makes you blush simultaneously.” He leaned toward me and whispered into my ear, “And that is sexy as hell.” His hot breath on my ear immediately sent shivers up my spine.
He was absolutely correct. My chest pushed out and I felt my face go hot along with my ears.
“Well, maybe if you stopped trying so hard to get in my pants, I would stop questioning Ronan.”
“Maybe if you were happy with Ronan, you would stop questioning Ronan. Ronan doesn’t make you question me.”
“Maybe you should admit that you are jealous of Ronan and the fact that he has been between these beautiful legs.” I slapped my thighs and slowly ran my hands north. “Isn’t that what you called them? Beautiful?”
“Yes, that is what I said. You will never hear me say that I am jealous of Ronan, because I’m not. He can have the confusion. I will end up with the certainty.”
His words weren’t sexual at all, and yet I wanted nothing more than to board this ride.
“You are awfully cocky. What makes you think I will pick you in the end?”
“Sometimes you just have to speak things into life—manifestation. Slow and steady wins the race. Whatever metaphor works best for you.”
“I feel so comfortable with you; it’s easy. On the other hand, you scare the hell out of me. You are going to have to show me what you want. You are going to have to work for it. But right now, I should probably get some sleep.”
I got up from the couch and carried my glass into the kitchen, placing it in the sink. Maddox followed suit.
“Don’t forget the couch in my room; I know you don’t like to be too far. It would be a damn shame if someone killed me before you got your shot.” Maddox smirked, shook his head, and followed me. Like I knew he would.