CHAPTER NINETEEN
CASSY
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“Hi Cassy.” Donna greets me as Josh and I walk into the reception area of the animal shelter. “And hello, who have we here?”
I’m getting used to the response Josh creates when I take him anywhere. I mean, it’s hard to ignore him. Aside from his size and muscle, he’s drop dead gorgeous.
The belted jeans he’s wearing today are light blue and hug his ass and thighs perfectly. His navy shirt is rolled up his forearms, showing off his tattoos, and he rarely takes off his sunglasses.
He looks like a fitness model.
“Sorry I didn’t make it yesterday.”
“The pussies missed you.” Donna says and Josh coughs suddenly beside me.
He’s so dirty...but it’s unbelievably sexy.
In the past few days, I’ve had, without question, the best sex of my life. He made me feel things I never knew were possible. And do things I’ve not done before and want to explore more.
I can tell he’s not open to it going deeper. He withdraws when things get too intimate.
I try to pretend I don’t care, as it’s a great distraction from the fear I feel about Isaac. But I like Josh more than I thought, and each day it grows stronger.
Sex with him is erotic and intense.
One night he fucked me on the kitchen bench and then up against the pantry door—I wouldn’t recommend it unless you have a strong Navy SEAL—and then I’d cooked a simple meal. I fell asleep in front of the TV and barely remember him carrying me to bed.
When I woke this morning and Josh was still in my bed, it made me way too happy. I don’t want to get reliant on his presence, but...I am.
He makes me laugh. And even though he rarely does, if you watch him for as many shameful hours as I have, you can see his joy hidden deep within his eyes.
He’s holding himself back and I know it’s because I’m his client, but I feel like this chemistry between us is more than just lust. I’ve watched as he’s lowered his barrier and not realized he’s been gazing at me.
He hates it, and to stop me talking, he’ll drag me closer and kiss me.
But there are moments, usually after he’s come, when his shutters completely go down and he’s as impenetrable as I’m sure his SEAL unit was.
Impossible.
I don’t even try.
The magic trick is letting Josh have space. Every single time, he’s returned to me. Does he know?
Does he know that he climbs under the covers and surrounds me with his body and kisses my forehead? Or comes up behind me and wraps his arms around me, kissing my neck?
If he doesn’t, I’m not pointing it out.
I don’t want him to stop.
I nudge my elbow into his abs for his dirty interpretation of Donna’s pussy comment, and he pats my ass as we follow her through the building.
When we step into the area where all the adoptable kittens are, my heart explodes open.
“Hello, my little babies.” I crouch down and reach out my arms.
“I’ll leave you to play. Stay as long as you like,” Donna says, and closes the door behind her.
Two little black and white cuties come zooming over to me as I drop my bag and stretch out my legs. They climb all over me and I’m in heaven. A shy little orange kitten who must be around twelve weeks stays a few feet away watching me.
I giggle and then realize Josh isn’t with me. I turn and find him leaning against the wall with his arms crossed.
“Come and play.”
He shakes his head.
“Chicken.”
He raises his brow. “My tattoo says otherwise.”
“Are you allergic?” I ask.
“No.”
I giggle more as three gray stripped kittens begin play fighting with one another and flip over. I take the toy wand with the fluffy blue end and start moving it around.
They go nuts.
There are at least fifteen kittens in our room, a couple asleep, looking as if they’re in a deep kibble coma.
I hope they find homes.
Being here brings me joy but also breaks my heart. Why can’t people just spay or neuter their cats and stop the insane number of kittens being born without homes?
“Did you know that the average number of kittens in a feline litter is four to six, and that up to 4,948 kittens can be born from one unspayed female cat and her offspring in seven years?”
“Nope,” Josh replies.
“That’s just from one cat.” I shake my head in disgust. A kitten climbs up my arm and perches on my shoulder.
“Seems stupid to me. Why don’t people just spay them?” he says. “You’d have the situation sorted within months.”
“I’m sure if the military was in charge, and with their budget, it would be.” I shrug.
“It would.”
I turn, and a grin stretches across my face. A little white kitten climbs up his leg, and he’s glaring at it like it’s an enemy approaching. I force back my grin as it slowly makes progress, then falls to the floor.
Josh grunts.
The little guy tries again.
Then falls.
The next time, the little ball of fluff makes it all the way up to his mid-thigh. Just as it’s about to fall, Josh uncrosses his arms and catches it quickly.
Oh, my heart.
He places it on his pec and then stares at me. There’s no expression on his face as the little white ball of fluff climbs up farther and begins to rub itself against his face.
“How long are we going to be here?” he growls low.
I remove the hand I’ve placed over my mouth to stop him from seeing my grin and say, “Long enough for you to name your new friend and adopt it.”
“Not happening,” Josh replies, then his eyes drop as another cat begins the big climb. “Jesus Christ. I’m not a tree.”
A few minutes later, he gives in and drops to the ground with me.
“So why the animal shelter? I mean, they’re annoying as fuck, but cute,” Josh says.
I watch one rappel down his back and his face flinch as its little claws dig in. I pull it off.
“Don’t hurt the big, tough Navy SEAL, buddy.” I giggle.
“Funny girl,” Josh says, nudging me back so I’m lying down on my back. Then he leans an arm over me and I’m hoping he’ll kiss me. “Why don’t you have a thousand cats in your home if you come here every week?”
Oh.
My eyes dart away and Josh stills.
“What just happened?”
I shake my head and smile softly as a kitten climbs between us. They have no boundaries, these little fur balls.
Suddenly I want to tell him. I want Josh to know why this is important.
“I did. Muffin was five. I got him for my thirteenth birthday. He was my best little friend.” I share. “His death was the first sign that Isaac was a serious danger to me. Until then, his messages and stalking had been creepy and concerning but not life threatening.”
“Fuck,” Josh curses.
“I found Muffin’s body in two pieces at the gates with a note,” I say as tears fill my eyes. “It said Muffin didn’t deserve my love and attention. That I belonged to him.”
“To Isaac,” Josh finishes.
I nod.
Josh slides his arm under my waist and pulls me up, his other hand brushing over my forehead.
“Tell me the rest.”
He’s asked me a few times and I’ve changed the subject or refused to talk about it. I know he has all the files, so I never saw a reason to go over it again for the millionth time.
But this feels different.
This is telling the man, not my security guard.
“When that happened, the police finally took it more seriously and reached out to his employer. Isaac lost his job, and we hoped that might be the end of it.”
Josh shakes his head.
“No. It only enraged him. He was found in the trees around the property multiple times and would sit outside in a vehicle waiting for me. Following me. Stalking me.”
“Which isn’t illegal.”
He’s right. The ability for stalkers to get away with these things is horrifying. But for us to live in a free society, it has to be that way.
I get it more as an adult now. Back then, not so much.
I just wanted him gone. Dead.
“I couldn’t get a restraining order either. There wasn’t enough to do that.” I share. “I had bodyguards, so after several more weeks we kind of relaxed. Then he got my phone number. He sent over fifty messages over a matter of days describing what he wanted to do to me. Revolting things.”
Josh clenched his jaw.
“I was very scared at this point. But the worst was yet to come.” I wrap my arms around myself and watch the kittens, who are getting sleepy.
Safe.
Trusting.
“One night I was sleeping while Mom and Dad were on tour. She always went with him, and I’d promised I’d stay at home.
I’d finished high school and was looking at where I wanted to go to college.
So, like all teens, I’d had friends over, drinking, sleeping in, watching movies until two in the morning.
Again, I thought life was normal after not hearing from the creep. ”
“That’s when he got into the house.”
“Yeah. I was deep asleep and woke up abruptly with someone lying over me, yanking my clothes off me.”
Josh cursed and rubbed his hand over his face. “Maybe I can’t hear this.”
But it was too late. Once I started, I had to get it all out, or I felt like I was still there in the moment with him assaulting me.
“He had my arms tied up so I couldn’t move, and I began kicking. He—”
“Did he touch you between...” Josh gripped my thigh.
I nod. “He got his fingers—”
“Stop.” Josh jumps to his feet.
“It’s all in the report.” I cry softly. “You read it.”
“I read the summary. It says you weren’t penetrated.”
I go quiet as Josh stares down at me. Then he reaches for my hand and pulls me up. I press my hands against his chest to steady myself.
“I wasn’t. One guard he shot was able to call the cops, and they interrupted him. But he did enough.” I dip my head to his chest. “He spent what felt like hours touching me, telling me I belonged to him. I was...open to him. He... could have.”
This is the part I get angry. No one has a right to do that to someone else if they don’t give consent. And I never did. He took what wasn’t his. I wasn’t a virgin, but I was still inexperienced.
Josh wraps his arms around me, his hand on the back of my head, and forces me to look at him. “I want to kill him, Cassy.” His voice is a growl as his face muscles flex.
I press my forehead against his chest once again and let the decades long angry tears flow while soaking in his powerful protection.
After a moment, he pulls my face back and stares down at me so intently I almost let out a moan. “If he wasn’t a wanted man, I’d hunt him down and kill him for you. I want you to know that.”
This time I gasp.
Josh takes my mouth in his and makes me forget all about Isaac Miller. Our tongues tangle, and he steals my breath and a little more of my heart.
I might value my freedom, but all my life I’ve wanted to feel safe from the dangers that come with being the daughter of a celebrity.
In a room full of sleeping kittens and in the arms of a Navy SEAL, I finally do.