17. Faith
CHAPTER 17
FAITH
(DECLAN)
“You should probably leave, Dec. I need to talk to Ben.”
Tiff's words echo in my ears as I leave her apartment. I take the elevator down to the basement car park, my heart feeling decidedly bruised, but with anger coursing through my veins. I've once again missed my opportunity to punch Benjamin Littrell in his smug face. Now he's alone with my… girlfriend? Fiancée if she'll agree to it.
It's incredibly strange to try and find the right label for Tiff after a weekend like the one we've just had together and, yet, a piece of me that is growing bigger with every passing moment is worried that she'll get back with him for some reason.
I don't want to go home right now. Even with knowing Ben isn't at home, I don't want to be there where he lives only a floor away from me. Instead of heading home, I decide to go see Daisy. She lives not far from Tiff in Jazz's apartment building. I have a key, so when I knock and she doesn't answer, I let myself inside.
I take a seat in an armchair in her living room and scroll through my emails. I open one from our family accountant notifying me my quarterly dividends from my trust have been deposited into my account and then switch into the news app.
I don't know how long I've been sitting there before the sound of Daisy entering the apartment reaches me and I call out to her, "Hi, Daise."
She appears a few moments later, looking surprised to see me. "You're back? How's Tiff? Jazz said she called in sick to work today."
"She did." I give her a tight smile. I don't know whether Tiff wants to tell anyone about us, but I need to talk to someone and as close as Daisy is to Jazz, I know she'll keep this to herself if I ask her to. "Tiff and I kind of…"
I trail off and Daisy's mouth drops open as she gasps at me. "You kind of what , Declan Theodore McLean?!"
"We slept together," I admit sheepishly.
"I think I need to sit down," she says, her eyes like saucers. "How? When? Where? Why?"
You forgot 'what,'" I tease her. "I think you know how. When would be over the weekend. Where would be at the Hamptons. Why is a bit trickier." I sigh and I have to look away from her, not wanting to see her reaction when I tell her, "I'm in love with her. That's why."
There’s silence in the room as I make my confession. Daisy doesn’t say anything until I turn to look at her.
“Does Tiff know?” She raises an eyebrow at me, and I laugh.
“She does now. She didn’t a few days ago.”
“Aha! I knew it.” She gives me a shrewd look. “How long have you been in love with her?”
I give her another sheepish grin. “Forever, probably.”
“Daaaaaamn. This is going to cause a total shitstorm since she only just broke up with Ben.”
Butterflies tumble around in my stomach as I remember that Tiff is currently talking to Ben. Despite my confidence that what we have is perfect, I can’t help but have that returning fear that for some reason she’ll get back with him today.
“Yeah, especially since she kicked me out of her apartment when we got back so that she could talk privately with him.” I cringe at the memory.
Daisy’s expression changes into a deep frown. “What the fuck?! That’s pretty shitty.”
“Oh, damn. That came out wrong,” I quickly backtrack. “In Tiff’s defense, we were kissing as we entered her apartment and he was there waiting for her. He was a total asshole about it and accused her of cheating with me. I just about smashed his smug face in,” I growl, wishing that I had.
Daisy walks across the room and drops into an armchair nearby. “Is this a good idea, Dec? I don’t want you to get hurt. They’ve been together for so long and this is really sudden.”
I can hear the unasked question in her words and I wish that I had absolute certainty that there was no chance Tiffany Carter won’t stomp all over my heart today. It feels as though if we can make it through today then all days in the future aren’t in question.
“If she gets back together with him, there’s nothing I can do about it. She’s a grown woman and it’s her choice who she wants to be with.”
My heart hurts as I consider a future where Tiff gets back with Ben. It was hard enough being around them over the last ten years, I can’t even imagine what it would be like now that I know what it’s like to have Tiffany Carter panting and wet beneath me.
“Are you in love with her or not? Because that doesn’t sound like you’re very sure,” Daisy says, her concern showing in both her expression and her tone of voice.
I give her a level gaze and tell her truthfully, “I love Tiffany so much that I would not be with her if that was what she wanted. All I care about is her happiness.”
“What about your happiness, Declan?” Daisy asks in a quiet voice .
I sigh as I consider the question. I know that in this particular situation my heart would be absolute mincemeat and I’m not sure that I could actually survive it.
“I have to hope that Tiffany is the one who cares about that.”
“I’ll kill her.” Daisy repeats my sentiment about Ben from Saturday, and I smile at her, my heart swelling with love for my overprotective little sister.
“You won’t, but I love you for thinking that you would.”
We sit in silence for a minute and I stare out the window at the city below us considering my current relationship status.
“Look. As far as I’m aware, Tiffany and I are together. I don’t have any reason to believe that isn’t the case unless she says otherwise. I would marry her today if she said yes.”
“Well, congratulations, I guess. Does Jazz know?”
I shrug and look back at her again. “I’m not sure. Can you keep this to yourself for now?”
“Of course. Just let me know when I can spill the tea.”
We talk for a little while longer, but I constantly look over at my phone on the coffee table nearby where it lays traitorously silent.
We’re just discussing the email I received earlier from our accountant when my phone rings and the name ‘Tiffany Carter’ is displayed on the screen .
My heart leaps to my throat and I answer it, dreading to hear what she has to say in case it’s bad news. “Hey, Tiff.”
“I love you, Declan McLean. Please come see me as soon as you can.”
Every ounce of doubt and worry is washed away in an instant. The words are a soothing balm to my frayed nerves.
“Oh, god. I was so worried you were calling to tell me you were back together with Ben.”
“Of course, not. I just needed the space to end it without either of you ending up with an assault charge,” she teases me with a beautiful laugh.
I laugh as well, unable to believe that I could ever think there would be a chance she wasn’t as committed to this relationship as I am. “Okay, that’s fair enough. I’ll come right around.”
We end the call and Daisy smiles at me, saying immediately, “Well, that sounds positive.”
“It was,” I assure her, then laugh again. “She told me she just wanted to clear things up with Ben without there being an assault charge. I’m going to go see her now.”
Daisy grins at me. “She’s a smart woman. You’re a thousand times the man Ben is. Not that I’m biased or anything.”
“Of course you aren’t.”
I’m so grateful to have her support and I feel like I’m flying because of the knowledge that Tiffany wants to be with me.
I love you, Declan McLean.
Words that for the longest time I couldn’t have even imagined Tiffany Carter would ever say to me. Now I know them to be true down to the very core of my being.
I make my way to her apartment on cloud nine. Today is the first day of the rest of my life.