14. FightingGiving Up
FOURTEEN
FIGHTING OR GIVING UP
Elena
I don’t know why he hasn’t tried anything with me, but I’m thankful for it. As thankful as I am that his nest smells… good.
Because I don’t smell good at all. And I don’t want to. I’ve gone as far as toileting on myself and using one of his hides in hopes that he’ll find me disgusting and let me go. But it’s almost too much for me to continue to bear. I’ve always been a clean person. It’s hard to let that go.
Sadly, I’ve had to learn that being clean is a privilege, one I no longer have.
I hear him return, but I don’t raise my head. I don’t have the capacity to do so. When he takes hold of my wrists and ties them before me, I try to keep my gaze off him. Because when our eyes meet, it makes my stomach coil in knots. His presence makes me anxious, nervous, and curious.
“I will be back later,” he says—except I barely hear him. Part of me has given up. I would rather be dead than be this male’s—any male’s—sexual slave.
Yet he hasn’t tried forcing himself on me. He hasn’t tried anything sexual at all.
Instead, all he’s done is try to get me to eat. I may have bothered to do so by now if it didn’t seem to make him so angry that I won’t. At first I didn’t do it to spite him, but now… Now it’s for something else… If I get him angry enough, maybe he’ll decide I’m not worth the effort and let me go.
I hear him leave and when he’s gone, I settle deeper into the furry, clean hides bundled on my left, relieved I’ll be alone for a while. He can’t force himself on me if he’s not here.
My stomach grumbles and I flinch, the pit of my belly hollower than it ever has been before. I’m starving. I’m dehydrated too. Opening my eyes, I assess the baskets of offerings set out before me, including the plates of cold cooked meat. My gaze drifts to the large, ceramic bowl of water.
I clamp my hands into fists and try to put my sad stomach out of my mind. But as I do, thoughts of my parents and how I’ve failed them arise. First, I couldn’t get them off The Dreadnaut, and now I’m some alien’s captive.
They wanted me to do something with my life; they wanted me to invest in myself. They wanted me to be talented. All my life they threw money at me, hoping some of it would stick and they’d discover some innate ability in me. Unfortunately, I’m talentless. Next to Jenna, I always have been.
Unlike me, my sister wasn’t a failure. She got into singing early and my parents, seeing her potential, paid for the best coaches to train her. Everyone in the upper castes on The Dreadnaut knew who my sister was by the time she was an adult. Her songs were on the radio.
Unable to sleep, I shiver against the cave’s chilly air, growing more miserable by the minute.
How long did he say he would be gone?
I eventually doze off into a fitful slumber, dreaming about gorging on Ilubriam chocolate. It’s been a certain kind of hell smelling my favorite treat while starving.
Unfortunately, now my favorite treat reminds me of him.
When I wake, I sit upright, blinking rapidly. Darkness meets me whether my eyes are open or not and my body stiffens.
The lantern is off.
I blink some more. Has he come back?
I listen for him but hear nothing. He wouldn’t leave me in the dark if he were back…
Slowly, I get to my feet, using the wall to orient which direction I’m facing.
The lantern is on the table to my right.
If I can get to it, maybe I can turn it back on.
I take a short step, and then another, until my feet hit the first baskets.
From there, I reach out with both hands and barely touch the table with my fingertips.
The rope tied around my wrists slips over my hand and the rings loosen. Pulling back, I strain my arms away from each other, excited when I’m able to loosen the rope some more.
My heart thrums as I shimmy my first hand out of the bonds. Quickly freeing the other wrist, the rope falls to the floor.
I turn in a half-circle in the dark, only stopping when my foot hits one of the baskets.
I’m free. I rub my wrists like I’m expecting the rope to magically reappear.
When it’s apparent it won’t, I feel around for the table and the lantern.
I swipe my hands across the top of the lantern, knocking it over.
Grabbing and turning it in my hands, I locate and press the power switch. It doesn’t turn on.
Dropping the dead lantern, I turn and begin maneuvering across the room in the direction of the tunnel. The hide rugs give way to flat stone when my fingers come upon the wall. Leaving my left hand on the jagged stone surface, I traverse the passageway, recalling what I can of the cave from memory.
The air changes as I pass a large space, and it changes again when I enter another where the wall sharply turns left. With my hand still upon the stone, I make my way through as swiftly as possible, running into several crates as I go.
Entering into a warmer section, I spot faint light ahead of me. As my eyes adjust and I find nothing between me and the light, I stumble across the cavern and into the final tunnel. Breaking through a veil of vines, I burst into the sunlight.
Inhaling the earthy, fresh mountain air, tears fill my eyes.
Tears, I’d vowed to my parents would stop falling.
Stumbling from the cave despite being blinded by the sunlight, I round several boulders and flee into the trees.
Running at a downward angle, I pick up speed as my eyes adjust, ignoring the plants and sticks slapping my sides.
I can do this—I can make it.
Spotting the ships over the next wooded hill, I sprint the rest of the way.
Weaving between the last of the trees and into the meadow, I cry out with relief. I beeline to the open hatch at the back of my ship.
Jumping inside, I shout for the ship’s AI.
“AI initiate. Close the hatch!” I command. When the door doesn’t shut, I pivot and rush to restart the ship from the control system.
Cursing as I round the hallway corner, I collide into a black and gray wall. Hands close over my arms as I jerk back with surprise. Discovering the wall isn’t a wall but a male’s chest, I jerk harder against the hands holding me.
My eyes find the naga’s face. “No!”
Him!
Not him.
A different naga. My lips part, taking in the dark gaze of a naga similar in appearance to the other one I’d just escaped from. The only difference is this one appears older and has long black hair instead of short, tousled locks.
“No!” I shout louder. I slam my foot into the side of his tail.
“Female,” the naga hisses, his voice higher in pitch than the other. He yanks me into him and wraps his arms around me.
I fight with all that’s left of my strength, refusing to be taken by another when I just tasted freedom. When I just had it in my grasp. Again. Slamming my fists into the naga’s pale gray chest, my punches have no effect on him. My kicks don’t either. It’s always the same.
“You are mine.” He rumbles, burying his face into my hair, hesitating. “You smell like Lukyssss—”
“Goddamn it, let me go!” I lift my foot and stomp on the end of the naga’s tail.
Startled, I finally get a reaction. He hisses and releases me, making me stumble into the mirror.
His tail slices through the space and knocks me over, sending me flying toward the open hatch door.
I hit my head on the ground, and as I rise, stars flood my vision.
I reach up to feel how bad I’ve hurt myself when the naga hauls me back into his arms. My eyes slam closed when the movement makes me dizzy.
Sunlight blooms behind my lids as I’m carried out of the ship. I kick out my legs and try to twist in his embrace but fail both. My energy wanes and my ability to fight weakens.
I was so close.
He suddenly comes to a stop.
“Release her, Deiys, or I will make you!”
I force my eyes open to see who spoke.
“Ixi…” the one holding me snarls. “I found her first. She is mine.”
“She is not yours, cousin. She belongs to Lukyssss. He is keeping watch over these humans.”
“Lukys? He is not here! If she were his, he would have claimed her by now. Instead, I find her ship wide open and her free!”
“Do not make me warn you again, Deiys. Release the female. Look at her, you have already hurt her. Humans are not like us, they are frailer.”
I finally focus my vision to find yet another black and gray naga.
How many of them are there? I shut my eyes again before my stomach upends.
“If you want her, you will have to take her from me! I am not willing to let her go just for you to snatch her when I am not looking.”
“Deiys… Do not make me fight you…”
Ixi, the other naga, glances at me, his expression strained. He shakes his head as he starts moving toward us. Deiys drops me and thrusts me behind him. Not expecting it, my feet give out and I fall to my knees.
He pulls me upright by the arm and pain tears through me from my shoulder. I scream when I’m thrown aside and his grip on me vanishes. Landing on the same arm, I cry out again. I roll onto my front and push my knees under me. I cup my shoulder with my opposite hand.
I need to get to my ship.
Growling, hissing noises fill my ears as I rise. My arm falls forward and I whimper with pain.
Bang!
I jump then drop to the ground and cover my head.
Bang! Bang! “Back the fuck off!”
I twitch at the sound of gunfire, jerking with each shot.
Shrieking fills my ears.
At first, confused, I peer around, expecting either Levy or Greg when the second naga, Ixi, abruptly appears in front of me. I startle and scream when shots whip past my ears. “Don’t shoot me!” I shriek.
“Leave her alone!” Levy shouts. “Or I’ll shoot you too!”
I start to shake my head when Ixi grabs me. “No!” The word vanishes when his hand yanks on my bad arm and I nearly pass out.
“I will not harm you.”
You already have. Pulled once more against a chest and lifted, I succumb to oblivion in the cradle of his arms.