25. Fretful Decisions
TWENTY-FIVE
FRETFUL DECISIONS
Elena
I step out from my room and dash into the bathroom, aware that Lukys is more than likely outside my ship watching for me.
I can’t avoid him forever. I’m nearly out of water. I rinse my hands and face, quickly cleaning my body with a wet, soapy towel and wringing out the water in the sink. Afterwards, I dry and slip into the extra clothes I brought in with me.
I wish I could avoid him forever.
A blush forms and, for a moment, I debate trying to scrub it off, thinking it might be possible. Instead, I eye the closed bathroom door with a thrilling sense of anticipatory dread.
I have been beyond horny for days, stuck in my room, desperate for relief. I swear a strange sort of psychosis kicked in despite the lack of his scent. I thought I’d get better, not worse.
I need to try and catch Shelby on the radio. I run my hands over my head. I need to know more… like how long my symptoms will last, and if I happen to mate with a naga, do I have to commit for life?
Because the thought of having sex with Lukys, especially now that I’ve seen his cock, is no longer out of the question. I’m literally and figuratively warming up to it.
The problem… I don’t plan on staying here forever.
I need to speak to him to make sure he’s… okay. That, we’re okay. That I didn’t cross some barrier and now he expects more…
He’d hit the glass with his fist. He wanted me to let him in.
He didn’t fight the barrier for long, and I hate admitting what fighting he did helped bring me to orgasm, but he didn’t scare me.
I knew he wouldn’t break the glass. I didn’t think he’d reached that point, but then again, I wasn’t thinking at all. I groan into my hands.
Shaking them out afterwards, I step toward the door and open it, leaving behind the safety of the bathroom. Eyeing the dome, already searching for Lukys, I walk to the central panel and wait for him to appear.
When he doesn’t, I peer around. The rain is gone. The sky is partially cloudy and I can see blue between them. The trees, the meadow, the flowers and plants, everything is still drippy and wet, but those drips sparkle when the sunlight appears. The storm is over.
I command the AI to turn on the radio and play the broadcasts.
After a couple of hours and with no sign of Lukys, I open the hatch and set out my water bucket. Nothing.
Thinking he must be on a hunt, I spend my time reading and listening to the radio. I’m only interrupted by Greg who lets me know that he and Levy made it through the storm okay.
“Do you want to join us? If you think your arm can handle it? Lukys told us of a berry patch nearby. It’s not that arduous of a task, picking berries. Your head looks better.”
I stand and meet him at the glass. “You’ve spoken to Lukys?”
Greg scratches his bushy brown beard. “Not today, not since before the storm actually. Why? You haven’t seen him?”
“No… not since before the storm,” I lie.
“Maybe he’s holed up. Maybe his kind doesn’t like water.” He shrugs. “It’s not unusual to not see him for days at a time, though he likes to make his presence known to Levy and me when he’s nearby. I’m sure we’ll see him soon.”
“Yeah… You’re right.” He has no idea how much Lukys actually is around. He’s just not the object of Lukys’s desire. My cheeks warm again.
“If you’re afraid to come out because he’s out here, I guarantee I’ll keep my weapon between the two of you.”
“No. That’s not it. I was just wondering, that’s all.”
“I see that your water bucket is out and it wasn’t full when I walked by. Is that it? If you need water, I can get that for you now… You don’t have to rely on him if you don’t want to. Levy and I are fine retrieving your water while you heal. We’ve taken some trips already today.”
“I don’t—I mean, I do need water—but I’m not afraid of coming outside. And I’m hoping that no one will have to retrieve my water soon, him or you guys.” I rub my shoulder. “Let me put on some shoes and I’ll join you.” Maybe leaving the ship will lure Lukys out.
What do I say to him? I’m sorry I fingered myself in front of you. Or… Why did your cock emerge from your tail when I was barely keeping myself together? Feeling my blush deepen, I shift on my feet.
Greg looks at me surprised. “Are you sure you’re ready?”
“I’m ready.” If anything, I need to breathe in some fresh air.
“It’s wet out here, just so you’re aware,” Greg shouts after me as I walk to the hatch.
Wet? I don’t care that it’s wet. I care that I debased myself in front of Lukys and it’s all because of his pheromones.
I spend the better part of the day foraging with Greg and Levy, joining them as they collect water for me, and exploring the area between our ships, even going so far as wandering along the shoreline to stare at the water in awe with no sign or indication of Lukys.
In fact, the day is peaceful altogether.
In the evening, I help Levy and Greg collect fresh wood for the firepit, leaving the branches out to dry in the sun for tomorrow’s fire.
The next morning, there are no clouds in the sky, and the weather is entirely back to normal.
Shortly after breakfast, I’m outside again with Levy and Greg, collecting more wood and searching for Lukys.
When morning comes and goes and he still hasn’t appeared, I explore the area in front of my ship up the mountain, discovering a trampled spot behind the deeper trees and brush.
Something gleams on the ground and I reach down to find a black scale.
I pocket it when I realize it’s one of his.
Facing my ship, I see how he views me from the outside.
Worse things can happen than being with one’s stalker… like the utter and complete destruction of a colony ship and losing my parents.
But Lukys doesn’t appear the next day, nor the day after that.
Worry fills me, wondering what could have happened to him—and if something has happened. He was always there until he wasn’t.
I’m outside and he’s not here.
Where the hell is he?
I’ve lost my parents, my sister, and now Lukys? I run my hands over my head.
Can I survive without his help?
Yes. You can. Because you’ll have to.
Either way, I’m past being hurt and fighting everything through avoidance. Wanting answers, wanting more than that, I turn for the mountain. I’ve been frustrated for days—no, weeks—with no answers of any kind.
Lukys isn’t allowed to come into my life, infect me, then leave.
He isn’t.
Not with everything that’s happened. I deserve more than that. I finally get why avoidance doesn’t work.
Gritting my teeth, I storm up the slopes in search of his cave.