19. Valtu #2
I quickly try and calculate but all the years seem to be a blur. I haven’t talked to Wolf in, well, a very long time. They went into hiding after Leif was taken from them. “Leif was a twin…”
“At the time it was Leif and Liam,” she says, and it catches something in my memory. “But they changed his name from Liam to Dylan a long time ago. Right before I was born.”
I have to shake my head, all of this seeming too impossible. “You can’t be their daughter.”
“But I am.”
I run my hand over my face. “Christ on a bike,” I mutter. My brain hurts. “How?”
“It’s a tangled web when it comes to me,” she says.
“Don’t you think about how impossible it was for you to find me again after the first time I died?
All the people in the world, and you run into me in the British Museum.
Had you gone earlier in the day or the next day, had I not gone at all, had I just bent down to adjust my dress at the very moment you were looking my way, we would have missed each other.
But we didn’t. And how impossible is it that I was sent to Venice to kill you, that I had a glamour on that prevented you from recognizing who I really was?
All of this is impossible, Valtu, and yet it’s happened.
The universe keeps finding a way to put us in each other’s path, no matter the circumstances. ”
I had no idea we had met at the British Museum. There is so much that’s been erased because I erased her.
Because you had to. You lost her.
And yet she’s here.
“The universe also keeps finding a way to torture me,” I tell her gravely. “Because it also finds a way to make you die .”
It even had me kill you, the last time , I think and for once I feel a touch of guilt. Guilt that had never been there before. What is happening to me?
She gives her head a shake. “Nope. I’m a vampire now. I’m not going anywhere.”
“You almost did,” I point out, gesturing to the ash.
“Perhaps I’m lucky this time around.”
“When you live long enough, you learn everyone’s luck runs out eventually.”
Rose raises her shoulder in a shrug. “Perhaps. But for now, I’m alive and I’m standing right in front of you.” She looks again at the ash on the ground. “I’m assuming you didn’t have any emotional attachment to the demon?”
“Me? Fuck no.” Then terror floods my mouth, a sour taste. “Shit. The book!”
I turn and run toward the house and after a beat I hear Rose coming after me.
I throw open the front door, then speed through the house and the halls until I’m bursting through my bedroom, my eyes flying to the book.
It’s sitting there, on my desk as usual. Destroying the demon didn’t destroy it as well.
Still, I have to be sure.
I go to it and flip open the pages. To my relief the spells that were there before are still there, though there’s that touch of disappointment in that no new ones have appeared.
“What happened?” Rose says from behind me, and I look over my shoulder to see her standing in the doorway. She steps on through and I realize for the first time ever, someone else is in my bedroom.
She comes to my side and lays her eyes on the book. “Is this it? The Book of Verimagiaa?”
I snatch the book away from her and hold it to my chest.
“Okay, Gollum,” she says with a snort. “I’m not going to take it from you.”
I can’t be too sure of that. She’s a witch after all. “I met Tolkien, you know.”
She rolls her eyes. “Oh god, please don’t tell me you were his muse too. Did he and Bram Stoker hang out in the same circles or something?”
“Not as far as I know.”
“Good. Wouldn’t want your ego to get any bigger.”
Despite myself, I find myself smiling at her, our conversation melting into something of comfort and ease, like I’m slipping backward into a past that I don’t remember.
“Why do you care about reading the book if you’ve already found all you need to know?
” Rose asks, putting a hand on her hip that nearly causes the last piece of fabric to fall, a thin charred piece that runs from her breasts to between her legs and around her hips.
“You wanted it to erase me, right? Well, you’ve done that. ”
“And yet here you are.”
“Yes. Here I am.”
My throat feels thick with sudden need.
She eyes me for a moment and then walks closer. I flinch and hold the book away from her, operating on some deep instinct to keep the pages safe.
“I don’t want the book, Valtu,” she says quietly, pinning me with her stare. “I want you to help me get Leif back. I want you to help me destroy Bellamy. I want my revenge.”
“You don’t need me to destroy Bellamy. You just obliterated that demon. You have more power than you think.”
“Bellamy is immortal now and has powers I can’t pretend to understand. My lightning might not stand a chance against him or the others. On top of that, I don’t know where Bellamy or Leif are. If they’re even together. You have to help me track them.”
“First of all, I don’t have to do anything,” I remind her curtly.
She glares at me. “I’m aware. That’s why I am asking you.”
“What makes you think I can find them? There’s no tracking spell or magic in the book. There wasn’t when Solon asked me for a decade ago, and there isn’t now.”
She looks away and makes a tiny growl of frustration.
“I’m sorry,” I tell her.
“No, you’re not.”
But I am. It catches me by surprise. I actually want to help her.
I’ve turned into such a fool, I barely recognize myself.
So I put the book down on the desk and I kiss her instead.
She gasps in shock as I cover her mouth with mine, my hands disappearing into her hair, pulling her close until I feel the rest of her clothes fall away and she’s soft and naked and in my grasp.
Her lips open to mine, kissing me back with a sweetness greater than honey, and my cock is instantly hard, my tongue exploring her as our kiss deepens.
“Is that all you want?” I whisper against her lips, my voice tight and hoarse as the need sweeps through me, held back by the finest thread.
She shakes her head, sadness making the green in her eyes deepen. “I want you to remember.”
“And if I never remember?”
“Then I just want to love you.”
Fuck me. Her words pierce the skin. “You shouldn’t love me, Rose. I don’t want your love. I’m not worthy of it.” My gaze drops to her mouth. “I have shown you nothing but hostility.”
A tiny smile flits across her lips and she places her hand on my cheek. She’s warm, so warm, and I am so cold. “You underestimate yourself. There is good in you. I have seen it before and I see it now. You have more dimensions than you think you do.”
“You’re remembering a man who doesn’t exist anymore.”
“I’m not remembering anything. I know you, Val.”
Val. Val. Only my closest friends have ever called me Val. But those friends aren’t so close anymore. No one is close anymore. It’s by design.
Push her away, the voice in my head says, the voice of all my fears. Push her away before you start falling for her all over again.
I close my eyes and breathe in deep, trying to gather the parts inside me that make me hard and cold and strong. I need to tell her to go, to walk, to leave. But I can’t. The pull she has on me is too great, even without remembering what we were to each other.
Then erase her again , the voice says. Help her get her brother back, destroy Bellamy, learn the rest of the book with her help. And when it seems like you’re falling over the edge, drink the vial and erase her once more.
I open my eyes and stare at her. The relief inside me is palpable.
Yes, yes that’s the only way I can do this.
I will erase you again , I think, keeping my thoughts on a short leash so that she can’t pick up on them even if she tried. I will give in to you and then I won’t know Rose Harper ever existed. And I will be free once more.
“Val,” she whispers, searching my face. “Help me.”
Such simple words and I’m already being undone.
You will be erased.
“I will do all that I can,” I tell her.
Rose breaks into the widest smile, so bright and brilliant that it nearly brings tears to my eyes. I can feel the hope in her expand, like a blooming flower in her chest, and then she’s kissing me back.
I let out a soft moan against her lips, unable to resist.
I spin her around and her hands go to my shirt, unbuttoning it, her movements fast and frantic and I’m taking off my pants, moving her backward until she’s pushed up against the end of the bed.
Then I’m on her, pressing her down against the mattress and her legs wrap around me, pulling me in close. We’re both naked together for the first time and I’m startled at how warm she feels, like a soft dream that I never want to wake from.
“You’re a dream,” I murmur to her and I can feel her heart thundering in her chest. I want to ruin her and I’m afraid she’s going to ruin me.
But I need to feel this.
I need to feel her just like this. To be deep inside her knowing that she truly does belong to me, not just now, but in so many times throughout my life.
I need to feel everything before I take it away.
I’m almost shaking as I cover her completely, my lips against hers, I’ve never wanted so much from anyone and suddenly I want it all from her.
You can erase her after this. It’s okay to let go.
“Are you okay?” she breathes, her fingers tangled into my hair as she stares up at me.
“Perfect,” I say, my voice rough. I break away to kiss her neck and Rose is wound so tight that she’s already whimpering, trembling slightly under my touch.
“Val…” she manages to say in a husky voice. “Fuck me.”
I move lower, kissing the swell of her breasts. Her fingers tighten in my hair, urging me further.
“Fuck me, my lord ,” I remind her as I cover her nipple with my mouth. She quivers beneath me and I suck at her, roll my tongue against that perfect little bud.
“Fuck me, my lord,” she whispers as she arches beneath me, as if she can’t help herself. I move to her other nipple and her body is trembling. I blow against her nipple and she makes a sound that causes my cock to jerk.
I grin against her breast. “Say please.” I suck at her again, running my fingertips over her ribcage, drinking her in with my eyes. She’s so beautiful, so raw and open and pure and yet I know of the darkness underneath. I saw it today, this woman of mine with the power to destroy demons.
She might even destroy my own demons.
She moans. “Please, my lord,” Rose pleads. “Please. Fuck me.”
I don’t hesitate to sink into her.
I swear I can hear the world breaking open as I push into her tight, wet heat. My eyes roll back and I’m gasping.
She’s so amazingly, beautifully wet that it takes me all I have to keep from coming.
She’s mine. Mine now. All of her.
Even if she won’t be mine in the future, in this moment she belongs only to me.
I move slowly to try and keep my control from slipping. Rose’s body is still tense, still gripping me hard, and she’s so damn tight that she’s milking me in the best way possible. Every thrust of my hips and it feels like my cock is seconds from coming.
“Oh, fuck,” I say through a grunt. “Fuck, Rose. You’re so good, so fucking good.”
She’s hissing and mewling, crying out as I push into her and withdraw, watching where I sink into her, where she’s so damn wet, she’s coating my shaft until it’s dripping.
Despite my resolve to slow things down and keep control, I can’t resist slamming into her over and over, wanting more of her, more of that.
Her arms wrap around my head, her legs are shaking and she’s breathless. I can feel how close to the edge she is, and I know that I won’t last much longer. She gasps, her breasts bouncing with each powerful thrust of my hips, the sounds coming from her mouth dirty and obscene.
“Val!” she screams. “Oh, my lord.”
I’m about to destroy her. I can feel it, feel her winding up tighter and tighter.
“Rose,” I say in a desperate voice. “I need you to let go.”
I sink down, kissing her hard enough to bruise, drinking in all that she’s offering. She arches into me and her body becomes a living flame under my touch.
Over and over, I push into her and she’s so tight that I can barely breathe and she’s trembling now, mouth open. I’m shaking with the effort of trying to hold back and I watch her face as she comes beneath me, the orgasm ripping through her like a wildfire.
It’s beautiful. So fucking beautiful and I’m going up in flames.
Rose’s body takes mine over the edge and I’m coming so hard, I can’t even breathe.
My head goes back and I bellow, a deep guttural roar that tears out of me.
She’s screaming and I’m shaking, I’m shaking so fucking hard that it feels like my bones are rattling and when I come to, I can’t move and I’m staring into her eyes and I don’t want to look away but eventually I have to.
I collapse against her, sweat pooling between our bodies, our breath ragged in unison.
The orgasm is so intense that I fight to come back to reality, to pull myself together. I’m shaking and shaking and I feel lightheaded. I’ve never had so much pleasure in every inch of my body.
Because she knows you better than you know yourself. And deep down inside, you know you know her, too.
That’s what I’m afraid of.