Chapter 23 #2
Tears welled in my eyes as the warmth of the sun enveloped me.
Memories of Draven and our shared past flooded into my mind.
We had shared countless moments together, but none quite like this in the light of day.
In my youth, the woods had been my haven, and nature my solace.
Yet, for decades, I had hidden myself away in darkness, until Connor unwittingly orchestrated a moment that meant more to me than he could ever know.
I pushed aside the thoughts that threatened to overwhelm me, banishing the memories of the past to the recesses of my mind. Instead, I focused solely on the physical sensations of losing myself in the warmth of Connor’s touch.
I gently pushed Connor back, feeling a sudden surge of desire coursing through me as I positioned myself on top of him, straddling him.
I wanted more. I needed more. More sun on my skin.
More of Connor’s skin against mine. With a sense of urgency, I pulled off my sweater, exposing my back to the morning sun.
A low moan escaped my lips as I savoured the warmth caressing my skin, and I continued to kiss Connor, my hands roaming over his body.
His hands found their way to my breasts, and I let out a soft sigh of pleasure as he cupped them.
With a hunger fueled by the sun, I reached under his sweater, tracing the trail of hair that adorned his belly.
My kisses trailed down his neck, each touch igniting a fire within me as memories of our last encounter surfaced.
Connor paused and let out a laugh. “Rose, I don’t want to have sex with you here,” he said.
“Why not? It would be hot,” I insisted, my hands still exploring as I leaned in for more kisses, my desire, my need driving me forward. “And nobody’s around,” I added, my fingers finding the zipper of his pants.
Connor took my hands in his and intertwined our fingers.
“I want to, but not right now because it’s quite cold out here,” he chuckled, his laughter filling the crisp morning air.
I glanced around and noticed patches of snow nearby, steam trailing from my body as I exhaled.
Reluctantly, I pulled my sweater back on and lay down beside him on the blanket, resting my head on his chest.
I could feel his heartbeat beneath my ear, steady and comforting like a metronome, calming my senses. Eventually, I pulled back slightly, keeping our hands intertwined as I looked up at him, a sense of contentment washed over me.
“Why do you like me?” I asked him.
“I think you’re confident, which I find sexy,” he began, his gaze sincere as he looked into my eyes. “I want to know you better because you seem passionate, but most of all, you seem to have a good heart.”
His palm rested against my chest, and I quickly took it in my own, not allowing him a moment to feel the absence of a heartbeat. Instead, I placed a tender kiss on his palm.
“Why do you like me?” he asked, his hand moving to cup my cheek.
“Who says I like you?” I teased, a playful smile dancing on my lips as I leaned into his warm touch.
“Okay, why are you attracted to me then?”
“You’re cute, you seem honest and loyal—”
“You’re just describing a puppy,” Connor laughed. “You also didn’t add funny, because I’m very funny.”
“You think you’re very funny,” I retorted with a smirk. “I haven’t decided yet if you’re funny.”
“I’m funny. You’ll see,” he insisted, flashing me his trademark smile. Despite the lighthearted exchange, a pang of guilt prickled at me. Using Connor for information felt wrong, and I couldn’t shake the feeling of deceit gnawing at my conscience.
We lay there for a moment, and then I felt an overwhelming urge to tell him the truth. “Connor, since you told me about Amber earlier, I feel like I need to tell you something.”
Connor sat up and turned to face me. I knew that I wanted him to trust me, and to do that I needed to be open and vulnerable.
Staring at him, I couldn’t help but feel a deep longing for connection.
I craved it more than anything, but I couldn’t discern whether it was his humanity that drew me to him or the mission I had promised Vail.
Perhaps it was something else entirely. Fear tugged at me as I struggled against the impulse to give in to my primal urges.
His hands moved to cradle my face, a hint of hesitation in his eyes, “Are you okay?” he asked.
I felt the vulnerability in his eyes piercing through me, urging me to open up. I took a deep breath and surrendered to the moment.
“I want to be honest with you,” I began, my voice steady but tinged with emotion. “I was married.”
As the words left my lips, it felt like a weight lifted off my chest. Vail knew this information, but no one else I’d been with before had heard it. It was a secret I had carried for a hundred years and finally sharing it felt liberating.
“What happened?”
“He died,” I whispered, my voice breaking as tears rolled down my cheeks. It felt as though I had reopened an old wound, one that I had tried to force shut but had never truly healed. It was like a scar that had been patched over but remained raw and tender beneath the surface.
“I’m sorry, Rose.” Connor pulled me closer to him. Tears rolled down my face, and I sat back up, wiping them away. I would not let myself become too vulnerable in front of him. He was a Slayer, and I was a Vampire, goddammit. I could not cry in front of him.
“I was young when I got married to him. We only had a short time together,” I admitted, my voice carrying the weight of bittersweet memories.
“Still, that’s horrible,” Connor said.
“Yeah. I was in denial about it for a long time after the fact,” I confessed, recalling my years of grappling with grief.
“Can I ask what happened?”
“He had a disease, and ultimately that’s what he died of.”
“Well, you don’t have to worry. I am as healthy as a horse, I won’t die on you,” Connor reassured me, his attempted humour breaking through the sombre atmosphere. Despite myself, his words brought a genuine smile to my face, and I chuckled.
“See, I told you I’m funny,” Connor remarked, kissing my knuckles.
“What’s your favourite thing?” Connor asked. A random question that seemed out of place after the information I’d just shared with him. “I know it sounds weird, but when I was little, and whenever I was sad, my mom would ask me about my favourite things and telling her would make me feel better.”
I smiled, thinking about my own mom. “I don’t think I have a favourite thing anymore.”
“What’s that supposed to mean? Everyone has a favourite thing.”
“I think maybe I’m too busy,” I said. “Or Vail says that I’m bitter now.”
“Well, what was the last favourite thing you had?”
“I used to love to garden and be in nature like this.”
“Maybe Vail would let you garden at her house.”
“Once you dig a grave for your husband, it’s hard to dig another one for a plant.” I hadn’t meant for those words to slip out, but they did, leaving a heavy silence in their wake.
“Honesty,” Connor said, his gaze steady and sincere.
“What?”
“That’s something else I like about you, you’re honest.” A warm smile graced his lips.
If he only knew, I thought. I could never tell him about myself. Not only would it break his heart, but he might even try to kill me—or worse, get Sam to do it.
“Thank you,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper, emotion thickening the air between us. “This morning means more to me than you can imagine.” Despite the weight of my secrets, I couldn’t deny the genuine connection I felt with Connor at that moment.