Chapter 43
FORTY-THREE
Connor’s gaze locked onto mine, and his face drew nearer, eliminating the air between us.
My lips parted as his hands reached up, touching my cheek.
They were sticky against my skin. His expression seemed pained and troubled, his brows furrowed, and his hazel eyes looked almost as dark as night.
I was about to ask him what was wrong when a sudden, sharp pain exploded in my chest. I glanced down and saw a wooden stake protruding from me.
I opened my mouth to scream, but no noise escaped me.
I looked back at Connor, his face cold and haunted as hatred clouded his eyes.
I pulled the stake from my chest, and blood trailed down my dress.
Connor stepped back, his hands stained crimson.
My eyes shot open, and I sat up in bed, gasping for air.
My body felt clammy as I clutched my chest, my necklace feeling hot and tight against my skin.
Just a dream. But it wasn’t the first nightmare I’d had about Connor that day.
I couldn’t sleep anymore. I got dressed quickly and left my room.
I needed fresh air, and I wasn’t getting any good sleep anyway.
Vail was right.
I had to end things with Connor.
I could see my breath as I stepped out of the house. The sun was setting, casting a gentle, diffused light on the day. The delicate crocuses that adorned the yard stood proudly even though their petals were delicately frosted. I walked down the sidewalk that led to the park.
I found myself drawn to the lake, which had a thin layer of ice formed on it. I saw a familiar face casually tossing stones onto the glassy surface,
I paused on the path, weighing my options. Should I turn around, pretending I didn’t see Connor? Or should I go up to him and break things off now? It was like fate knew what I was thinking and decided to play a game with me, seeing how strong I was. I took a deep breath and walked over to Connor.
“Hi,” I greeted him.
He turned around, and a smile spread across his face, his dimples deepening, making my heart ache. “Hi, Rose,” he said, pulling me into a hug. I surrendered to the warmth of his embrace, feeling comforted. “I’m happy you’re okay,” he whispered into my hair.
I pulled back slightly. “Yeah, well, I couldn’t really sleep,” I confessed.
“I’m sorry if that was scary for you,” he said, running his hands through his hair.
I could tell he had been up all night as well.
I wondered if he talked to Sam about what happened.
Connor was wearing new clothes. He obviously had to change, considering how much blood he had on him the last time I saw him.
I scanned his body quickly, checking for any other damage. He seemed unscathed.
“I’m lucky I have Vail,” I told him.
“I am too. Remind me to thank her for saving me last night,” he said.
“Of course.”
“I’m just really happy that you’re okay,” he said again, scanning me with concern before pulling me into his arms once more. His kiss was a tempting warmth that threatened to consume me.
“Did anyone else get hurt last night?” I asked him, my mouth against his lips.
“Sam said no one would remember the night. Not sure what he meant by that, but clearly you remembered it.” He looked down at me.
“Isn’t Sam worried that the police will come and investigate what happened?”
“Sam isn’t really the type of person to worry about anything.”
“Are you worried?” I asked him.
“I was more worried about your safety than my own,” he said.
“Thanks,” I murmured, offering him a grateful smile.
“Do you want to go back to my place?” Connor suggested, his breath visible in the cool air.
“Okay.” I preferred to end this in private anyway.
Walking through the doors of Connor's apartment, I realized that this was the first time we’d been alone together since the morning on the mountain bluff.
A couple of days ago, I yearned for this closeness, this privacy, but now a sense of dread loomed over me.
Connor broke my thoughts as he pushed me up against the wall, his lips crashing down on mine.
His teeth skimmed my bottom lip as he sucked it into his mouth.
I moaned in response, and he clutched the back of my neck, tilting my head up.
His lips were soft against mine, and he pressed his body close, his warmth seeping through our clothes.
He reached down and squeezed my ass, and I pulled him closer to me, my back pressed up against the wall, lacing my fingers through his hair.
I shouldn’t be doing this. I didn’t come here for sex. I was going to break up with him. But his lips felt so good on mine.
Fuck it.
I kissed him back, sucking his tongue into my mouth.
He let out a moan and lifted me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he brought me over to his bed, laying me down.
I removed my jacket and kicked off my shoes.
Connor did the same, his eyes never leaving mine. I could see the hunger within him.
With a silent invitation, he lowered himself on me, his lips trailing kisses along my jaw, moving lower to my neck, then my shoulder.
His teeth grazed my shirt collar, sending a thrill through me, and I eagerly removed my shirt, exposing my skin to his touch.
I reached for Connor's shirt, removing it to reveal his toned physique.
My hands roamed over the contours of his muscles, tracing the lines of his stomach down to the waist of his jeans.
As I reached his zipper, he looked at me through the curtain of his dark lashes.
“Not yet.” With a soft push, he guided me to lie back on the bed.
Connor’s kisses travelled lower, leaving a trail of fire along my skin, and I arched my back in response, craving more of his touch.
His hands roamed freely, teasing every inch of my exposed flesh.
When he returned to kiss me, his lips were gentle and tender, leaving me breathless.
He lay there holding me. I could feel him hesitate.
“I think you’re it for me,” slipped from his lips.
I froze as his words hung in the air, the weight of their meaning crashing down on me like a tidal wave. His eyes, filled with raw emotion, bore into mine, pleaded for a response. My heart ached as I looked into his earnest gaze, my own feelings waging a battle within me.
“Don’t say things like that,” I whispered, the words escaping my trembling lips before I had the chance to think. I rolled over, pushing his body off mine as I sat up, needing distance to gather my thoughts.
Connor reached out, his fingers catching my own, and his gaze caught mine. “Rose, I’m sorry if that’s too much for you, but it’s true. I’ve thought that from the moment I saw you at the lake. It slipped out in the moment, but I'm not sorry I said it.”
I shook my head, feeling overwhelmed, and stood up abruptly, pulling my shirt back over my head and hastily gathering my shoes and jacket. “We barely know each other,” I muttered as I moved toward the door, but he caught me, spinning me around to face him.
“Don’t walk away from me.” Connor’s voice was firm, a hint of desperation lacing his words. I saw a flicker of something I saw the other night in the forest. A killer in front of me. Though his voice wasn’t edged with anger, it was filled with a raw sense of pain.
“I can’t. I have to go,” I told him.
“Rose, give in to this,” he urged, taking my hand and placing it on his chest. I could feel his human heart beating rapidly beneath his skin. “Can’t you feel what you do to me?” His blood rushed through his veins, and his heartbeat was fast. I struggled to push down the instinct roaring within me.
Vail was right; she had been right this whole time. How could I possibly think that I could be with a human when a battle raged within me every time I touched him?
I hesitated for a moment, almost giving in to his touch, but my mind went cloudy with the weight of my past. “I can’t be with you, Connor,” I confessed, my voice barely a whisper, and I couldn’t stop the tear from rolling down my cheek.
“Why not? Is this about Vail or your husband? Why could you be with them but not me?”
“It’s not about them! It’s about me. I can’t open myself up to someone again. I won’t let myself. I’ve been hurt too many times.” My voice cracked with vulnerability.
Connor wiped away my tears. I hated how easily my emotions were shown on my face. I didn’t want to cry.
“I won’t hurt you, Rose.” Connor’s voice was a whisper as he moved closer to me.
His lips were now barely an inch away from my own as I looked up at him.
I wanted nothing more than to lose myself in his touch.
“Is this about last night? That’s not who I am, Rose.
I was protecting my friends. I was protecting you. ”
“Not who you are?” I said, my voice tinged with doubt. “You had stakes hidden in your guitar.”
“They are always in there, just in case. I always have weapons on me,” he explained.
I backed up a step, feeling a surge of unease. “Do you have any on you now?” I scanned his body.
“No, but I have them hidden all over my apartment,” he admitted.
I glanced around, my breath coming in rapid bursts as my eyes searched for hidden weapons meant to kill creatures like me.
“It’s for protection,” he continued. “To protect me, my family, and you.”
“I don’t need you to protect me,” I told him sternly.
“I know that, and that’s what I like about you,” he said softly and stepped forward, closing the gap between us. His hands brushed my arms and pulled me close to his warmth. “I will never hurt you,” he assured me.
“But I might hurt you,” I whispered, brushing my lips against his.
“Rose, you won’t hurt me. I know there’s more to you than meets the eye, but I’m not afraid. I can see the struggle within you, and I want to be here for you.” Connor’s voice was gentle, his touch reassuring.
I pulled away slightly, unable to meet his gaze as I spoke. “You don’t understand, Connor. It’s not just about last night. It’s about who I am. And I know that if you truly knew me, you would hate me.”
He tilted my chin up, forcing me to meet his gaze. “I could never hate you. I don’t care about your past. I care about who you are now. I care about the person I’ve come to know.” His words cut through my defenses, weakening my resolve.
“I can’t give you what you need,” I whispered, my voice barely audible.
Connor’s thumb traced the curve of my cheek, his eyes searching mine. “Maybe what I need is you, Rose,” he said, his voice filled with sincerity. “Whatever struggles you’re facing, we can face them together. You don’t have to be alone.”
“I can’t,” I said, tears escaping my eyes. “I’m sorry, Connor. But I can’t be with you.” The weight of my decision settled heavily on my chest as I watched the hurt register on his face.
“I know you’re always optimistic, but this is not one of those times to be positive.
We will never work together, okay?” I continued, stepping back and wiping away my tears.
“I just don’t feel the same way about you, Connor.
Just let it go.” Each word felt like a dagger, piercing both of our hearts.
Connor’s phone rang, shattering the tense moment. He checked the caller ID with frustration evident in his expression. “God damn it, Sam. He always calls at the worst times,” he muttered, slipping the phone back into his pocket.
“Answer it. We are done talking anyway,” I urged, bending down to put my shoes back on.
“I’m not answering it. And we are nowhere near done.” Connor’s voice was sharp with pain, his patience wearing thin. He didn’t move to stop me as I walked past him to the door, throwing on my coat.
His phone rang once more.
“Connor, just answer it,” I insisted, knowing Sam’s persistence would only escalate until Connor picked up.
“What?” Connor answered the call, irritation clear in his voice.
I could hear Sam’s urgent tone on the other end, explaining that he and Ivy were leaving town for a few days to lay low after last night’s events.
He urged Connor to do the same. “Well, I’m in the middle of something right now,” Connor said tersely, ending the call without further explanation to Sam.
Turning back to me, Connor’s eyes softened momentarily. “Where were we?”
“I was just leaving,” I replied, zipping up my coat and heading toward the door.
“Rose, talk to me,” Connor pleaded, his voice filled with longing.
“I don’t want to keep having this conversation with you,” I said firmly. “But before I leave, I will tell you that you should be careful with Sam. He’s not who he says he is. He’s dangerous.”
“You’ve said that before,” Connor remarked, his brows furrowed together in concern.
“Yeah, well, Vail thinks he’s making drugs, selling them … and that he’s a witch. Or a warlock, whatever,” I explained, my words hanging heavy in the air as Connor straightened.
“What?” His disbelief mirrored the skepticism he had shown when I told him about Vail being a witch.
“Sam is a witch,” I repeated firmly.
“What proof do you have?” Connor asked, using the same words I had used when I questioned him about Vail’s vampiric nature.
“Now that I know Sam’s out of town, Vail and I are going to get proof tonight,” I informed him.
Connor’s eyes widened in concern as he reached for his coat. “Well then, I’m coming too.”