Chapter 39 #2
He didn’t care if I hurt myself, nor did I care what he had to say. Every drop of venom that had built up inside me over the years erupted like a volcano, from my hands, nose, eyes, and mouth. It was all I could do to aim as much of it at him as possible.
My head spun, my limbs trembling. Soon, my Nature wasn’t the only thing coming out of my mouth. Copious amounts of dark emesis pooled onto the ground as I lost control.
I couldn’t give up. I couldn’t be useless again.
Payn stepped towards me, shaking his head. “Please stop.”
“Oh, since you asked politely.” I grabbed a handful of the vomit puddle, and threw it at him. He turned, but not fast enough. It hit him in the chest with a wet smack, dripping down his front.
“You’re absolutely feral.”
My vision blurred, and my hands lost feeling altogether.
“You would be too,” I mumbled as the world became shadows and stars.
He clicked his tongue. “Now I’m going to have to find something to do with you, Brat.”
I wanted to scream. To tell him not to touch me.
But I couldn’t. He picked me up off the ground, pressing my face against his soaked chest. My own poison was scented so deceivingly clean, like freshly watered roses. Did it smell that way to other people, too?
Everything was wet. Had it started raining? I lost sense of what was real, and what wasn’t. The only thing I was sure of was darkness, and him. Whether he planned to kill or kidnap me, all I could do was embrace oblivion.
Dishes clanked in the distance. My eyes fluttered open, daylight pouring in.
In my room.
I sat up, snatching Singer off the nightstand and surveyed my surroundings. It appeared untouched. I was still in my gown.
If it weren’t for the black and violet stains covering the dress, I’d think my interaction with Payn was a nightmare. My blood went cold.
If I was here, then Payn could be in the house. He could’ve killed Xavian in his sleep. He could—
I ran down the stairs with Singer, tripping over my disgusting dress. My heart thundered as I rushed into the kitchen, only to find the cook prepping breakfast and Xavian sitting on the couch, papers in hand.
It was still early. The food wasn’t ready yet.
I sighed with relief. Riven must have found me with Payn and fixed everything.
A wave of chills ran down my spine. Was Riven hurt? Had he been able to kill Payn?
“What in Fate’s name is all over you?” Xavian asked, rubbing his eyes and sitting up.
“Vomit.”
He squinted at my dress. “Why?”
“Because I threw up. Where’s Riven?”
“Waiting for you outside.”
“Why?”
Xavian shrugged. “He didn’t care for the fact that you came home without telling him or Jocelynn goodbye.”
My throat dried. “No…” I whispered, mostly to myself.
“Are you okay, Princess?” the cook asked, her dark eyes swelling with concern.
“No… yes. I just don’t understand.”
I ran to the front door and threw it open.
Riven was pacing outside.
He stopped, taking in my ragged hair and destroyed dress.
“Why did you leave me last night?” he asked. “Why would you walk home instead of telling me you were ready to go?”
My shoulders sagged. There was no hiding this. No way to sugarcoat it.
“I—I need you to come inside.”
Within ten minutes of me telling my brother and Riven the events that had unfolded, all hell broke loose. Members of the brotherhood were posted all along the outside of the Silver Circle, while hundreds were directed to search the capital for Sapphires.
I’d been ordered to sit down and stay put in my ragged dress, makeup halfway down my face. My tiara was gone, but Payn had left me with everything else. How he’d gotten me into my room without being noticed, no one knew. Blood magic was the only logical answer.
Xavian was furious. He and Riven had checked for any sign of Payn, storming through and tearing the house apart, finding nothing but a pure white hair on my nightstand.
“I want every single person knowledgeable on creating wards and barriers to report here by sundown,” Xavian ordered Avan. “We will begin immediately. I don’t want blood magic able to be used on any of the council's homes, at minimum.”
Most of the council was already here. We only awaited Lord Draven.
“The barrier stuff is pretty new,” Lord Avan replied. “There’s not much known about their creation. Draven’s been looking into it. Only small rooms have been warded in places like the castle, to our knowledge.”
Xavian ignored him, moving on to the next order. “The guard rotations need to be more effective, Captain.”
Riven nodded, still silently boiling with rage. He couldn’t believe Payn had gotten to me again on his watch. He refused to meet my gaze, either from his own shame or anger at me for having left him.
Lady Jocelynn burst through the front door, shadows swirling up to her hips and hat clipped onto the side of her head. While her appearance said elegant, her demeanor said otherwise. She pointed a finger at me. “You!”
I winced, but did my best to maintain eye contact. “I didn’t plan to leave ear—”
“I don’t care about you leaving early! I care about your piss-poor decision-making abilities!
You are the princess of a fragile, newborn kingdom.
We need you, and you are determined to find an early grave!
Who needs an enemy when you are actively destroying yourself and seeking danger?
Open a book! Learn something! Just because you grew up in squalor doesn’t mean you need to act like a petulant, lowbrow, backward delinquent! ”
The room fell quiet.
She didn’t understand. I was trying to help. To be something more than how I grew up. I wasn’t like Xavian, raised in a castle and schooled in decision-making.
“I’m trying my best…”
“Then stop trying! This isn’t the Waywards! If you want to act like an animal, then go back to your cage!”
“Jocelynn,” Riven warned.
“Don’t interrupt me,” she snapped.
“Enough,” Xavian cut in.
Jocelynn pressed her lips into a hard line.
“If no one else will give her a reality check, then I will! Elora, look at yourself, covered in your own vomit. And we all know this isn’t the first time.
Escorted home in the arms of the enemy? You’re lucky it was Payn and not his father.
You are betrothed to the wealthiest heir in Castivian!
Money that can change our fate in the battles to come!
Why do you not realize that you are in a position that thousands of girls would kill to be in? ”
I was unsure of what to say. Too many thoughts came to mind, racing through me like a tornado.
“I do realize the stakes,” I said, “and I care very much about winning this war. I actually know people in the Waywards. My friends were killed by Sapphires.”
“Then act like it,” she demanded, pointing her finger one last time. Then she straightened her posture and patted her dress down with gloved hands.
My face heated with overwhelming embarrassment. I wanted so badly to be someone that other people would be proud of, but the more I chased that feeling, the further it was from my reach.
Everyone but Jocelynn awkwardly looked away as I stood and dismissed myself to take a bath. There was nothing left to say.
Xavian, Riven, and the rest of the council proceeded with planning, while Lady Jocelynn left. I watched from my bathroom window as she got into her carriage. It almost looked like she wiped away a tear, but I knew better.
While she may not have cried, I did. By the time I was ready to get out of the tub, the water was stained pitch black.
I ran a second bath and washed up with fresh water.
I cleaned my face, braided my hair, and tossed on a white nightdress with thin straps.
I spent the rest of the day taking Lady Jocelynn’s suggestion: reading.
Tomorrow was the long-awaited meeting, and I’d educate myself as much as possible on Castivian before then.
What was my betrothed like? Was he wondering about me, too? I fell asleep in the late afternoon, dreaming of thick clouds and dreadful storms whisking me away to an imaginary land where I didn’t make so many mistakes and didn’t feel so much pain.