Chapter Forty-Two
Bechora
It seemed like I blinked, and the trials were upon us.
Shadrie, Miles, Zypher, Gabriel, and I were gathered in the living room of my dorm, spending the evening together before the first trial the next morning.
Part of me wanted to grab them all and run to the human realm, even though I knew it wasn’t possible.
“So, what do you think the first trial will be like?” Miles asked, snagging a Twizzler from the package in Shadrie’s hands. Shadrie scowled and swatted his hand.
“My First Year trials were difficult,” Zypher said. “The Labyrinth of Lies was probably the worst of them, though I doubt that will be something you face this year.”
“The Labyrinth of Lies?” Shadrie asked.
Zypher inclined his head, his expression as grave as I’d ever seen it. “A maze woven with illusions so real you could not tell what was truth and what was fabrication. Every wrong turn showed you a vision crafted to break your will. Some students never made it back out.”
I shivered and pressed myself deeper into Gabriel’s side. “But we won’t have to go through that one, right? All of my professors said the trials are different every year.”
“Correct,” Gabriel answered. “They don’t want us able to prepare. I’ve heard rumors the academy itself creates the trials, so students are faced with their deepest fears and greatest weaknesses.”
“My coven spoke of the sentient nature of the academy before I was accepted,” Miles said, pushing his glasses up his nose. “But it can’t create all three trials if we’re meant to work as a team through some of them.”
“Not every student faces the same three trials,” Zypher said, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. “My first trial, I was alone with only my shielding and illusion abilities to aid me. My access to my inherent demon magic was cut off. I couldn’t summon hellfire or shift into my demon form.”
“They can cut off your magic?” I gasped.
Zypher’s arm tightened around me. “Yes, and they did. Though it was only demon students who experienced such a trial.”
“That’s not right,” Shadrie hissed. “They shouldn’t be allowed to treat demon students like that.”
Zypher shrugged, the motion almost careless, though I could feel the tension in the arm still looped around my shoulder.
“Fairness is not part of the academy’s design.
It never has been. The trials are meant to expose weaknesses, and for demons, that weakness is overreliance on the abilities we hone from birth. ”
“That’s still barbaric,” Shadrie scowled.
Gabriel gave a humorless laugh. “That is precisely the point. For all my father’s faults, he drilled that into my head before sending me to the academy. As much as the professors harp on using our abilities to pass them, it’s usually cunning and preparation that mean survival.”
“We won’t know what our first trial is until tomorrow. How are we supposed to prepare for that?” I asked, a weight settling in the pit of my stomach.
“You can’t, Dilectus,” Zypher said simply. “Not in the way you want. The academy is designed to strip us bare, break us down, and build us into something stronger.”
“Well, that’s depressing,” Shadrie scoffed. “I say we forget about our impending doom and enjoy our evening before we work ourselves up and are too nervous to stand a chance tomorrow.”
We did just as Shadrie suggested. The evening drifted by in a haze of laughter, teasing, and the kind of easy companionship that made the looming trials fade to the edges of my mind.
We played a few silly games with the leftover candy, Miles and Shadrie bickering in the background, while Zypher and Gabriel occasionally traded sharp remarks that almost—almost—sounded like humor.
Eventually, the room fell into the quiet that only came with exhaustion. Miles and Shadrie said their goodnights, but I was reluctant to move from where I was sandwiched between my mates. The idea of walking into whatever trial I’d face tomorrow without them made my chest ache.
“You should get some rest,” Gabriel murmured against my ear. “We all should.”
I tilted my head to look at him, then at Zypher on my other side. The thought of being alone in my bed with nothing but my thoughts for company made my throat tighten.
“Stay with me.” The words slipped out before I could second-guess them. My voice was softer than I meant, almost pleading. “Both of you. Just… don’t leave me alone tonight.”
Zypher’s blue eyes softened instantly, and he reached up, brushing a knuckle gently along my jaw. “If that is your wish, Dilectus, then nothing in this realm can keep me away.”
Gabriel hesitated, his uncertainty about his place written plainly on his face. I stared at him, my eyes pleading with him to see the sincerity of my request. Finally, he gave a short nod. “If that’s what you want.” His tone was quieter than I’d ever heard it, stripped down to raw longing.
I threaded my fingers through his and squeezed. “I do.”
We stood and walked the short distance to my room in a small, clumsy procession.
Gabriel lingered at the door as if unsure whether to cross the threshold, while Zypher moved with quiet certainty to my bed.
The lamp in my room threw a warm pool of light across my comforter, leaving the rest of the space in shadows.
For a moment, the world felt unbearably fragile and ridiculously ordinary all at once.
I climbed into my bed, folding back the comforter and motioning for my mates to join me.
Zypher shed his T-shirt, leaving him in a pair of black sweatpants as he slid in on one side.
A satisfied sigh escaped me as he wrapped an arm around me, tucking me into his side.
Gabriel hesitated at the other edge, clicked off the lamp, and then eased himself down with a soft curse.
He moved as if he were negotiating with himself—half refusal to cross my boundaries, half wracked with his own need to be near me.
His entire body went stiff as he settled under the blanket, and I moved from Zypher’s side to lay my head on my vampire’s chest. My hand found his in the dark, and I curled my fingers tightly around his.
His chest was solid beneath my cheek, but his body stayed stiff, as if he didn’t believe he had the right to be here.
“Gabriel,” I whispered into the dark. “I want you here. Not because I’m scared. Not because I need protection. Because I want you.”
His breath hitched. For a long moment, he didn’t answer, his hand twitching beneath mine like he wasn’t sure if he should hold on or let go.
“Selir, I want this more than my next breath, but you shouldn’t want me here,” he said finally, voice rough.
“Not after everything I did to you. There hasn’t been enough time to prove to you that I’ve truly changed.
I haven’t done enough to earn a place in your bed. ”
I lifted my head to look at him; even in the darkness, I could make out the raw uncertainty in his eyes. His jaw was tight, as if he were bracing for me to agree with him. My heart clenched at the thought, having forgiven him before my mind had caught up.
“You were cruel,” I admitted softly. “You pushed me away when I didn’t understand why.
And yes, it hurt.” His eyes flinched at the word.
I reached up, cupping his cheek, forcing him to see me.
“But you’re here now. You’ve been at my side when you didn’t have to be.
And I don’t care about what you think you deserve, I care about what I choose. And I choose you.”
Something in him cracked then, a tremor running through his body as though my words had landed in a place he hadn’t dared open. His hand squeezed mine back, tentative at first, then firmer, almost desperate. “Gods, I don’t deserve you, but I will spend the rest of my existence trying to.”
For a heartbeat, silence stretched between us, thick, vulnerable, honest. Then Zypher spoke. “Our Dilectus has chosen well, bond brother.” His voice was low and teasing, but threaded with something warmer than mockery.
Gabriel grunted something that might have been a retort, but it had lost its edge.
His fingers tightened around mine, then relaxed, as if he were finally allowing himself the small, treacherous luxury of trust. Zypher shifted, pulling me a little closer so my back was flush against his chest without forcing me to leave my position sprawled across my vampire.
Gabriel’s other hand came to rest over ours, an awkward, polite claim that somehow made the three of us fit together like pieces that had been waiting to be snapped into place.
Sleep pulled me under in soft, warm waves of security where I lay wrapped in the arms of my mates.
Morning came too soon, and I had to fight the urge to stay tucked beneath the blankets with Zypher and Gabriel.
It was only their insistence that they needed to return to their rooms and prepare for the first trial that allowed me to let them go and prepare myself.
We met for a light breakfast in the dining hall before Zypher split off to join the Third Years, leaving Shadrie, Miles, Gabriel, and me to merge with the crowd of First Years making their way to the cathedral where we’d had our magic unveiled the first day of term.
The building seemed to exude an ominous air as we made our way inside to take a seat.
“Greetings, First Years,” a woman I didn’t recognize spoke from the front of the room, her voice magically carrying throughout the building.
“For those of you who haven’t met me, I am Dean Femirea.
For the last few centuries, I have had the pleasure of overseeing this academy and watching generation after generation rise—or fall—within these walls.
Today, you will face your first true test at this academy. ”