Chapter 3
Three
June
I take deep breaths as I let myself relax against Blade. I feel like I can tell him things I’ve never told anyone but my counselors. It’s necessary if he’s going to have the entire picture.
Finally, I find myself talking. I start from way back.
“My father was abusive to my mother. He eventually went to prison and died there from pneumonia. No love lost. My mother lived with chronic pain from all the times he beat her, especially from the time he broke two of her vertebrae. She committed suicide when I was eighteen. I think she had been waiting for me to be an adult. I was sad, but I couldn’t blame her. ”
Blade doesn’t make me look at him. He keeps rubbing my back. “I’m so sorry, Little one. I guess you had to grow up fast.”
“Yeah, I needed a new life, so I moved from South Carolina to Seattle for college. I graduated with dual degrees in English and education. I got a job teaching at an elementary school.”
“Good for you.” He kisses the top of my head again as his arms hold me closer.
This is so unconventional. I came here to seek protection. How have I ended up sitting on Blade’s lap?
I draw in another deep breath. “I met Pete at the grocery store one day. Weird place to meet a man, I guess, but we bumped into each other. He was so charming and took me to coffee. My pint of ice cream melted in the car while we talked for hours. I thought he was the best thing to ever happen to me.”
Blade doesn’t interrupt. He’s so patient. He’s gently rocking me. I want to draw my knees up, settle deeper into his lap, and never move.
“I should have seen the signs, but I was raised in a house with an abusive father, and the cycle of abuse is strong. Pete gradually took over my life. He isolated me. Eventually, he convinced me to quit my job and move out of the area. We got married at city hall. He insisted he would provide for me. And he did, but he got meaner and meaner. I kept thinking if I did better, if I tried harder, if I pleased him… Well, I couldn’t, of course. ”
“That’s the nature of abuse,” Blade murmurs. “There is nothing you could have done to please him.”
“I realize that now, but I didn’t at the time. I didn’t want to be my mother. I wanted to keep my marriage together. I wanted to please my husband. When he switched from screaming and berating me to hitting me, I knew things weren’t going to work out.”
Blade stops moving when I mention Pete striking me, but he says nothing.
“The first time, he slapped me across the face and left the room. The next time, he managed to bust my lip. The third time, he gave me a black eye. He begged forgiveness every time. I told him I was leaving after the black eye. He groveled, and I relented. I should have left that night. But I didn’t.
A week later, he hit me so hard that my head slammed into the door, and I passed out.
I assume I had a concussion. He didn’t even help me or move me.
When I woke up, he was gone. It was the middle of the night.
I dragged myself off the floor, put on warm clothes in layers, covered them with one of his coats, stuffed a few belongings in a bag, and left. ”
“On foot?”
“I didn’t have a car. I hadn’t even driven a single time in the three years we lived out there.
He drove me into town to get groceries when we needed them.
I knew it was about two miles to the nearest town, so I walked.
Every time a car went by, I hid, afraid it might be Pete.
It was three in the morning when I made it to the only place open—an all-night diner. ”
“You must have been scared out of your mind.”
“I was, but I was out of options, so I had to go in and ask for help. I’d never been to the diner.
It wasn’t like Pete took me out on dates or anything.
He never spent a dime he didn’t have to on me once he got me out of Seattle.
So, the older woman working the middle-of-the-night shift had no idea who I was.
She was kind and sympathetic. It was obvious someone had beaten me.
I asked her if she knew of a way I could get to Seattle.
She called someone else to cover for her and drove me two hours to a women’s shelter in Seattle herself. ”
Blade finally tips me back enough to meet my gaze. He smiles. “Thank God there are still some kind people in the world.”
“Yes. She never asked me who beat me or any other questions. She simply drove two hours each way to get me to safety. I couldn’t even offer her anything. I didn’t have a dollar to my name.”
“I’m so sorry you went through that, June.” Blade’s voice and attention are so patient and understanding that I’m struggling to keep from crying again.
“I spent a month at the center in hiding. I filed for divorce, and they helped me find a job and housing. I got stronger, emotionally and physically. I had a degree, which made it easier. There was no way I could go back to a public job, but I love what I do now even more.”
“What’s that, Little one?”
“I teach English to students abroad. Mostly Japan. It’s online. I have to work evenings a lot because they’re seventeen hours ahead, but I really enjoy it, and it pays the bills.”
He frowns. “I can’t imagine it pays too well. Your studio apartment is pretty sparse, honey.” He’s not condescending, simply making an observation.
“I never, ever, ever want to be in a situation where I can’t escape again. I save every dime I can so I’ll always have a nest egg.” It’s not a lot, but it’s what I’ve got. Not enough to pay for the services Blade provides.
“Good girl,” he praises, beaming.
Those two words burrow under my skin and squeeze my heart. Have I ever been anyone’s good girl? Certainly not my father, and my mother was too busy staying alive to take much time to care for me.
“Have you seen or spoken to your ex since you left?”
“One conversation over the phone. A week after I left. The day I filed the papers. I called him from a secure line at the shelter to tell him I’d filed.”
“And? How did he take it?”
“He told me he would never divorce me in a million years, and if I didn’t come home immediately, he would hunt me down every day of his life until he found me and made me pay.”
Blade’s jaw tightens, and a vein protrudes on his forehead.
Otherwise, he remains calm. Maybe he’s used to hearing stories like this from women.
After all, his company provides protection for people—all kinds of people, I presume.
Though from the looks of his office, I suspect his agency’s clients are usually wealthy.
I’m picturing rock stars and actors. Not dirt-poor women with a vindictive ex.
His nostrils flare when he inhales slowly. “And your picture was all over the television last night and this morning.”
“Yeah.”
Blade holds me closer again. “Thank you for sharing that, Little one. I know it wasn’t easy. You barely know me, but I want you to know that you’re safe now. He won’t get to you. I promise.”
“You can’t be sure of that,” I murmur.
“I guarantee it, honey.”
“He could be waiting outside my apartment building right now,” I point out.
“And you won’t be going back there, so he can wait.”
I flinch. “I don’t have anywhere else to go, Blade.”
“Of course you do. You’ll stay with me. I shouldn’t have left you there last night.
It didn’t sit right. I hated leaving you alone.
You can’t even tie your shoes, Little one.
” He looks down at the tennis shoes I managed to put on.
I’d quickly abandoned the idea of tying them and tucked the strings inside instead.
“Besides needing protection, you need help getting back on your feet.”
I stare at him. I can’t go home with him. Can I? A million thoughts run through my head. “I have to work. I’ve already taken two days off. I need to be online tonight. I need my computer and my notes and—”
He covers my lips with one finger. “We’ll make that happen, June. If it’s important to you, I’ll ensure it happens, okay?”
I can’t move. He’s serious. I open my mouth to protest.
“If you mention money one more time, June…”
“You’ll spank me?” The words leave my mouth so fast I can’t stop them. I purse my lips a second later as I realize I’m about to moan. Maybe he doesn’t notice the way I immediately clench my thighs tighter.
He slowly smiles. “Eventually, perhaps, but only because you’re intrigued by the idea.
Let me be clear on that subject, though.
I would never spank you without negotiating such a thing, nor would I spank you while you’re injured.
Plus, now that I know you’ve been abused and witnessed it growing up, I’m hesitant to think spanking will ever be something you’d enjoy.
If it interests you, though, we’ll discuss it later down the line.
In the meantime, if you feel like you need to be disciplined, we’ll come up with other methods. ”
He leans forward and stands me on my feet.
My head is spinning. What does he mean? Why would I want to be disciplined? Why would I need to be disciplined? It’s like he’s speaking a language I don’t understand.
He holds my hips to steady me before leaning forward to rub his nose against mine.
My breath hitches. For a moment, I think he’s going to kiss me. Madness. But I lick my lips as he pulls back a few inches.
His gaze lowers to my mouth and hovers before jerking back to my eyes.
“Let’s get you settled upstairs. You need sleep, Little one.
I suspect you need food and a bath even more than rest. We’ll take care of those things first. While you rest, I’ll go to your apartment and get everything you need. Okay?”
I almost laugh when he tacks that last word on. Is it an afterthought? He’s so bossy, listing everything he intends for me to do, and then he asks if it’s okay?
He smirks. “I need to work on my presentation, don’t I? It’s been a long time since I’ve had a Little… Since I’ve dated or spent much time with a woman. Forgive me if I fumble a bit while I work out the cobwebs.”
What was he going to say after little? A little what? That’s hardly as important as the rest of his speech, though. “You haven’t dated anyone lately?”
He scrunches up his nose. “No. I’ve been busy with my business and haven’t met anyone I felt connected to.”
My heart is racing. Surely, he doesn’t mean to imply he wants to date me or feels anything toward me at all. But he has held me on his lap for the last hour, and he was overly attentive yesterday when I needed him.
We just met, though. I’m nobody to him. If I didn’t know better, I would think he was taking advantage of me, but he just said he hasn’t dated for a while. So why me? I can’t be his usual type. Besides my current battered state, I have very little money, and he’s way out of my league.
Blade could date anyone he wants. He’s rich and unbelievably attractive. He’s tall, dark, and handsome. His beard is sexy as fuck. I want to run my fingers through the thickness. I want him to rub it between my legs.
What?
Maybe I have a concussion from my attack, or maybe I’m dreaming. No one has ever rubbed their face between my thighs. Why would such a thought even come to mind?
Because I’ve never met anyone I would consider that with. I shudder at the thought of my ex ever going down on me. Gross.
He stands. “Ready? I’ll introduce you to a few of the guys before we go upstairs.”
That’s twice he’s mentioned something upstairs. “What’s upstairs?”
“Sorry. My apartment. I live on the top floor, one floor above the offices.”
“You live in this building?” I ask incredulously.
“I own the building, Little one. I bought it about a year ago when we outgrew our previous location. Black Blade Protection is the only business in the building. The rest of the floors are apartments. Most of my guys live here. A few live off-site. We keep one floor open in case we need to provide on-site protection for a client. The apartments on the rest of the floors are rented to regular citizens.”
“Oh, so you’re going to put me in an available apartment where he can’t find me?” Why does my chest tighten at my misunderstanding? I thought he was taking me to his own apartment.
Blade cups my face and tips my head back. “June, I’m not putting you in a random empty apartment. You’ll be staying with me. You need help getting around.” He draws in a long breath. “And, honey, let me be honest with you.”
I swallow. There’s no telling what this enigmatic man might say next.
“I can’t continue to pretend I’m not attracted to you and your Little. There are a dozen things I need to explain about that, but they can wait. Right now, you’re dead on your feet. One step at a time. Let’s get you settled first. There’ll be plenty of time later to continue this discussion.”
“My little what?” That’s the second time he’s left the word little hanging in the air as though something was left off.
He gives me a slow smile. “We’ll get back to that, okay?”
“Uh…sure.”