Chapter 11
DELILAH
It’s strange that I asked. That I possess a burning need to be close to him, and I didn’t lie. I have for some time.
Blade is reluctant, but I want this. So bad.
He is gentle, hesitant even, and I press in closer, my lips dusting his, inhaling the scent of a man who calls to the basic animal inside me.
His jaw is rough, his lips soft. As his tongue flicks inside, it reaches for mine like a long-lost friend. He tastes forbidden, toxic even. My heart leaps, my body crumbles, and my soul screams with joy.
His hand presses into my back, pulling me in closer. Rough fingers gripping my chin as he deepens the kiss. Gideon told me owned me, but I never knew what ownership was like until Blade kissed me. It’s not telling somebody what to do and when; it’s making them never want to stop.
And I don’t.
I never want to stop kissing Blade. It’s as if my soul is restored, re-born if you like, and for some reason it gives me courage that deserted me a long way back. I reach up and tangle my fingers in his mane. Pulling him in deeper, our tongues savoring something we never realized was so addictive.
The warmth of the sun caresses my skin, and as Blade’s fingers drift through my hair, it’s as if I stop breathing.
Time stands still; memories fade as they are replaced with new ones. Better than before.
How long can a kiss last? An eternity I hope because right now, in Blade’s arms, on the edge of the world, I have never been so happy.
He pulls away, his head resting against mine, his hold gentle but secure, his breath racing.
“Why?”
It hurts me that he would doubt my intentions. What happened to him in the past?
My breath hitches and I whisper softly, “Because I have no good memories, Blade. I want to make new ones, and this is the perfect place to start.”
“I see.”
He sounds disappointed and pulls away a little, and I snatch him back, my fingers curling in his hair as I command his attention.
“But most of all because I’ve wanted to do this since I woke up in that hospital bed and you were asleep in the chair beside me.
When you realized I was awake and reached for my hand, shouting for the nurse.
I felt safe then, and it’s the same now because here, on the edge of oblivion, I wanted to show you how much I–”
My words fade, doubt creeping in, wondering if I’m scaring the pants off him because I’m guessing a man like Blade has many women and doesn’t need another one to complicate his life. After all, he is here out of duty, not desire, and I wonder if I’ve made a huge mistake laying my emotions bare.
He grips my face and forces me to look at him.
The silent fury in his eyes takes my breath away as he growls, “What? How much you…”
“Want you.”
I stare at him defiantly, not caring if my admission ruins what we are building. I’m aware I’m coming across as needy, but the storm in his eyes is curious rather than fearful.
He pulls away, dropping his hands as if I burn hotter than the sun.
“We should head back.”
A knot forms in my throat. I can’t breathe. I misread the situation. He’s angry with me now.
He offers me his hand, but I ignore it and slide off the rock, not daring to catch his eyes because I doubt I’ll like what I see in them.
I make to head back, and he snatches my wrist and pulls me roughly toward him. As I stumble against his rock-hard chest, he growls, “For the record, darlin’, it’s mutual. Just in case you’re in any doubt about that.”
My mouth drops and his husky whisper burns. “But this is not the time or the place to take advantage of you. You’ve been through a lot, and not just recently. I will not exploit that for my own gratification, and I meant what I said; you’re safe. I’ve got you.”
I nod, accepting his explanation but hating every word he speaks. I wasn’t lying. I do want him, more than air it seems, but he’s probably right. This isn’t the time or the place to start anything new, and if anything, I feel like a fool for trying.
I nod, fighting back the tears of rejection.
“I understand.”
He exhales sharply. “We should head back. I’m as hungry as a bear.”
“Of course.”
We head back down the trail, and it’s as if everything has changed between us. Boundaries are set in place, and I understand the reasons why. But I don’t like them—at all.
* * *
We split up, and while I set about preparing salad and potatoes, Blade lights the fire outside and prepares to grill steaks. It’s a scene of domesticity that isn’t lost on me, and under different circumstances, I would stay here forever—with him.
He makes me feel safe and is extremely easy on the eye, which is probably why I made such a fool of myself back there. Then there was the interminable kiss. It could have lasted forever, and I would die a happy woman. My last breath, a shared one with a man like him.
It turns out that kissing the person you want to is very different to enduring the kiss of strangers who merely want to take from you.
I’m ashamed of my past, the one I can remember anyway, and the fact that sex featured a lot in it, all of it against my wishes.
It’s funny how things change when you want something. I thought I never wanted a man or woman to touch me again. It turns out I was wrong.
I glance out of the open door and notice Blade with his cell phone pressed to his ear. His brows are furrowed, his anger evident, and I wonder who he is talking to.
Dread curls through my veins as I anticipate life changing. What will it involve for me? I don’t want to think about that.
His eyes lift to mine, and he holds my gaze the entire time while listening to the caller on the end of the line. He gives nothing away in his expression, and my heart thumps as I sense change.
Then he pockets the phone and carries on grilling, and I swallow the lump in my throat and grasp the salad.
“Hey.”
I set the bowl on the wooden table that lives outside and turn to head back for the plates, but his husky drawl stops me in my tracks.
“That was Ryder on the phone. I told him what you said.”
“I see.”
I smile, but it’s a small one because I’m guessing everything will change when he finds my husband. Will they send me back? I may not remember him, but I’m fully aware I want to be as far away from him as possible.
“Are you okay, darlin?”
Blade’s tone is concerned, and I shrug, hating how my life is no longer mine to control.
“Not really.”
“What’s troubling you?”
I drop down onto the ground and face him over the smoke of the fire.
“I’m scared, if I’m honest. What if he wants me back? What if I have obligations? I don’t even know if I’m a mother or have a family? He will be a stranger, and my only memory is when he told me he owned me.”
Blade growls, a low rumble of discontent that should reassure, but I’m not naive enough to realize this may be out of our control.
“Then we’ll stay here until your memory returns.”
“What if it never does? We could be here forever.”
Why does my voice sound so hopeful?
“Then it’s forever, darlin’. I’m good with that.”
His low wink drags a smile out of me despite the despair eating me from inside.
He nods toward the cabin.
“Fetch the rest of the food out, and I’ll think while we eat. Remember, no problem is unsolvable, just how much heat it will generate.”
My heart leaps as I nod, standing and heading slowly into the cabin. Can Blade really solve this problem for me? Can Ryder King and the Reapers make this go away? I have my doubts because if I know one thing about my husband, it’s that he is pure evil and the biggest bastard I wish I had never met.