Chapter 31
DELILAH
I’m shaking. It’s as if the air was struck from my lungs by force. It’s doubtful I could have walked out of the diner on my own, images of the horrors of my former life as fresh in my mind as if I lived them yesterday.
Blade pulls me onto his bike, holding me in front of him, his arms wrapped around me, my head resting on his chest as he strokes my hair.
“It’s okay, darlin’, you don’t have to relive the experience.”
“It’s so raw, Blade. That image on the screen brought the memories crashing back. We have got to save Tallulah; he will destroy her.”
“We will, darlin’. What else can you remember?”
“I remember my wedding night.”
I shiver, distaste rolling through my body.
“We left the reception, or so I thought.”
I’m ashamed and almost can’t form the words.
“I was tired and not particularly interested in my husband, but he had other ideas. We reached the hotel suite, and his disarming smile dropped the moment the door closed. I saw the darkness in his eyes and the cruel edge to his smile as he told me I had disappointed him already.”
Blade stiffens, his hold tighter as my recollection hits me from all sides.
“He told me to kneel on the floor before him. I remember laughing at his request, and he was angry and pushed me against the wall, his fist balled in front of my face. He terrified me. That was the moment I saw the madness in him, and as I dropped to the floor, he kicked out at me. I was gasping with pain as he sneered that from now on, he would control me and that ring on my finger was my cage. If I ever disobeyed him, he would ruin my parents and kill me.”
I take a deep breath and my words shake.
“He sneered that he had married me for the connections my father could give him. That he didn’t love me and wasn’t interested in me physically.
That, as his property, I was about to learn a hard lesson of what that involved, and I didn’t have a clue what he meant.
I remember he pulled me to my feet and ripped my dress from my body, then he tugged me toward the bedroom.
As we crashed inside, I screamed because we weren’t alone.
There were robed figures surrounding the bed, just like at Angela’s Friday night parties at Rockwell. ”
I can’t go on; huge sobs wreck me inside and as Blade holds me tightly, I sense I don’t need to fill in the gaps.
I sniff, “Life descended into despair and chaos for me that night and ruined my life. I was drugged, tortured and abused, and there was nothing I could do about it. The drugs affected my mind and kept me compliant. Terror also played a huge part in that. He told me I was his to control and wasn’t kidding about that, and as his profile soared in Washington, I was a shell of a woman beside him.
My parents weren’t interested in hearing my story; my friends started ghosting me because Gideon started rumors I was an addict.
I was passed around his friends like a glass of champagne, and the drugs numbed me to it.
Then, when he was where he wanted to be in society, I was told I was of no further use to him, and he was shipping me out.
I woke up in Rockwell Academy and the rest you know. But one thing concerns me, Blade.”
“Only one thing?”
His husky whisper holds many threats, and I relax a little.
“There is a woman in a sanatorium who is now dead because of me, and I don’t have a clue who she could be.
Why did he send me to Rockwell? It doesn’t make sense.
He could have sent me to Switzerland in the first place.
Why keep me alive if the outcome was always going to be my death? ”
“Perhaps that outcome changed when you escaped.”
Blade makes a good point, and as he holds me close, he whispers, “I may not have all the answers, darlin’, but you can bet your ass I know a man who does.”
* * *
We don’t hang around in the town. A gorgeous, crazy free day turned on its head when my memory came crashing back.
As soon as we reach The Rubicon, Blade parks up and reaches for my hand. “Listen to me, darlin’.”
His eyes flash with concern. “You’ve had a huge shock and must deal with that. We can do it in two ways. Go to my room. Spend the day in front of a movie, empty your mind of the past until you can deal with it, or—”
“Deal with it.”
I shrug, resolve hardening inside me as I picture Gideon crushing Tallulah in the same way he did me.
He nods, a grave expression on his face and fire in his eyes, and he nods toward the compound.
“Then there is only one place we need to be right now.”
* * *
Shit happens real fast in the Reaper’s world.
The moment we knocked on Ryder’s door, things moved like a sudden storm.
We filled him in, and now we’re waiting for him to arrange intelligence, and as we head toward Blade’s room, I am apprehensive.
So much will ride on this. I’m asking a lot of the men who have already given me so much.
Can they take on Gideon Fox? I have my doubts, but if I were placing a bet on the winner, I would back the Reapers every time.
We don’t meet anyone on our way and if anything, I’m happy about that. If I’m honest, I want to shut myself away from the world. To close my eyes until it’s over—one way or another.
Will I survive this, or will my past bite hard? I am fearful of the repercussions of the ball we started rolling, and Blade must sense that because his grip on my hand is tighter, firmer, and reassuring.
“Come here.”
He flops down on the couch and holds open his arms, and I can’t get to him quickly enough.
As I snuggle into his side, he flicks on the set and scrolls through the menu.
“There’s a comedy.”
He stops on the latest rom-com, and I love how he is attempting to divert my attention from the matter.
“Blade.”
I steady the shake in my voice.
“Yes, darlin’.”
“I, well, can we not watch television?”
“Sure. What do you want to do? If you prefer time alone, just ask.”
“I don’t want time on my own.”
I turn to face him and note the power of his gaze, and a ripple of anticipation passes through me.
“When I was growing up, I dreamed of my perfect man.”
He nods, resignation already heavy in his expression.
“To many, Gideon Fox would have been that man. Handsome, sophisticated and outwardly attentive and respectable. I never saw that in him. Even when I was introduced to him for the first time, I never saw the good in him, which is why it was so hard to accept my parent’s choice for me.”
“Why didn’t you refuse?” He shrugs. “I mean, any daughter of mine would be given the choice one hundred percent, and if I didn’t like that choice, I would still respect her wishes.”
“I admire that about you because I was expected to respect their choice, as if I didn’t have a brain to form my own decision.”
His company is comforting but also disturbing because, more than anything, I want to move things on with us. What happened on the ridge blew my world, and I want to explore the box we opened today. Then my past revisited with devastating consequences and ruined the most perfect moment of my life.
I carry on, glad of his attention, with no distractions.
“So, to rewind. My idea of the perfect man was the prince in the fairytale. Noble, true and fair. That’s how he was described. Surely that was any decent girl’s dream. The prize, the happily ever after—the happy ending.”
My smile is genuine as I tilt my face to his and cup his rough jaw, loving how intense his gaze is as it powers through to my soul.
“Then I learned what true gallantry is. In the real world, not in fairy tales. It’s the rough-talking, strong protector, disguised in black armor.
His horse is made of steel, and his gaze is sharp and deadly.
His heart is noble, his resolve impressive, and his loyalty unquestionable.
He is the villain in the story. The man we are taught to despise, but sometimes true beauty is hidden behind a menacing stare, and true danger is blinded by a radiant smile. ”
I lean forward and kiss his lips, reveling in their softness, loving the scratch of his jaw against mine.
Pulling away, I whisper huskily, “I know what man I would choose every single time, and I was kind of wondering if you would do me the honor of indulging my fantasies instead of watching one on the set.”
“Fantasies?”
He lifts one eyebrow, and a slow smirk spreads across his face.
“That depends on what they are?”
“It kind of involves picking up and carrying on where we left off before life rudely interrupted what started as a very satisfying day.”
“Darlin’–” He grips my face between his huge hands and stares deep into my eyes.
“Just for the record, I want you more than to breathe right now. I have done since you stepped out of the cabin in the mountain in one of my t-shirts. When you smile, I am lost, but you’re hurting.
You suffered so much at the hands of men who should have known better, and I won’t be the man to exploit you at a time when you should be healing. ”
“Even if it’s the thing I want most in the world?”
My eyes drop and I murmur, “I have never had the fairytale, Blade. Just once in my life I want to choose. And well–”
I raise my eyes and smile.
“I choose you every fucking time.”
His lips crash onto mine and knock the breath from my lungs, and his fingers twist in my hair, his kiss torching my world.
I push his jacket from his back, his other hand returning the favor, and if ever this was an advert for ripping our clothes off, this is that time.
His hand slides under my t-shirt, my nails rake his back, and a low growl rumbles deep in his throat as he pulls me roughly to my feet.
He lifts me up and my legs lock around his waist, our kisses almost tribal, desperate and destructive.
I lean back, his teeth grazing my neck, and we stumble toward the bedroom, his foot kicking the door, so it swings back on its hinge.
I’m lowered to the floor as he rips off his clothes and I waste no time and discard mine until we stand naked, eyeing one another up like prize fighters before a fight, my need all-consuming, the desire electric.
My prince of darkness. I knew that he would come, and as he reaches out his hand, I take it without hesitation, and he draws me gently with him onto the bed.