Chapter 48
CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT
My voice is hoarse as I repeatedly scream Dane’s name, sobbing on the ground in the clearing until I hear noises come from above. One hand after the other, I crawl through the grass, tension pulling at my shoulders as tears continue to stream down my cheeks and fall to the ground.
Multiple sets of footsteps pound on the boards above, but I can’t tell from where. Camp has been tainted, and the surrounding trees, the lit torches and rope bridges, feel so familiar, yet not. It makes it easy to focus on my goal, not feeling any sentiment toward this place any longer.
“Lennox?”
Dane’s voice bellows through the clearing as heavy footsteps thunder across the planks, heading toward the platform. I hear the clink of the latch through my sobs, followed by the thud as it hits the ground.
“Lennox!” he calls again, and I look up to find him running through the clearing, straight to me.
More sets of footsteps echo around camp, torches lighting everywhere as Voyagers wake to the commotion.
I brace myself as Dane reaches me, falling to his knees and scooping me into his arms.
“You’re here. You’re back,” he says, squeezing me to his chest.
My hands fist in his shirt, and I fold my arms against myself, letting them act as a barrier, just a small amount of space between us that would never be noticed, but helps me catch my breath as I acclimate to his presence again.
The sobs don’t stop, they only come harder as the reality of what I’ve done truly hits me. A sharp pain shoots through my chest as I think about the morning, and see Weston waking to find me gone. It makes it easier to cry.
Voyagers gather around us, some in the clearing, and some leaning against the ropes and rails up above, each of them taking in the scene.
Dane pulls back and his hands move to my face. I try not to flinch when his skin brushes mine, and if I did, I can easily blame it on the pain from Sig’s punch.
“Are you alright? Gods, what did they do to you?” He examines my cheek, his brows furrowed as he looks me over.
I ignore his question, instead focusing on staying as distraught as I can.
“I tried to come back,” I cry. “I tried, Dane.”
“Shh,” he coos. “You made it. You’re safe.”
He leans forward and plants a firm kiss on my lips. I feel nothing.
Not a spark, not a flutter.
Nothing.
This was not the kiss I wanted tonight, but it’s the one I have to endure. Weston’s denial mere hours ago made me feel infinitely more than the press of Dane’s lips, and the only way I can stomach it is by pretending they are Weston’s.
He can’t know that anything has changed.
He pulls back, and movement catches the corner of my eye. I look past Dane’s shoulder and see someone barreling toward us.
“You!”
Mara charges at us and I stagger to my feet, trying to stay out of her reach. I can’t see if she’s armed, but I don’t have time to look before Dane is stepping in front of me, holding his arms out toward her.
“Mara, stop!”
She slams into him, trying to push past him and get to me. Taking a few quick steps back, I watch as he wrangles her into a hold, fighting against her lashes and wrenching of limbs.
“She’s a fucking traitor, Dane! I saw it with my own eyes!” Mara screams. Her face exudes hatred, and something in my chest cracks. This isn’t the Mara I knew, and I don’t know if I’ll ever know her again.
“I’m not!” I cry, shaking my head, trying to fill my eyes with fear, which isn’t difficult after seeing how aggressively she’s trying to attack me.
“How can you let her back here? She needs to be thrown into the cage and questioned! She has information!”
“Mara!” Dane yells, and her attention snaps to him. The last time I heard his voice that authoritative and angry was when they locked me in the cage on my first day here. It’s clear his influence over the Voyagers hasn’t changed since I’ve been gone.
“She’s not a traitor! She came back. Look what they did to her!” He throws his arm out toward me and her gaze follows, eyes trailing over my ripped and soiled clothes, blood soaked and scraped skin, and ending on my bruised face.
Mara says nothing; she only glares at me, her jaw clenching tightly.
She promised me long ago that if I ever turned on them, she would end me, and now, after seeing how easily her feelings toward me can change and remembering the knives she threw at my back, I know she was being honest.
“I had to, Mara. That was the only way they would let me out. I had to pretend I was one of them,” I say, pleading with her.
“Liar!” she spits at me. I feel everyone around us watching the even bigger spectacle Mara has made my return into, and realize that everyone is awake now, watching everything unfold.
A small cry breaks out across the clearing, and I look past Dane and Mara to find Roley running straight toward me.
“Lennox!”
My knees barely hit the ground before he’s crashing into me, wrapping his arms around my neck.
“You’re okay!” he squeaks, and I hold him tight.
“So are you!” I cry. “I was so worried.”
I truly was worried. Taril told me Roley survived the incident, and had been quiet since then, but I needed to see for myself.
He pushes off me, his eyes snagging on my injured cheek before meeting mine. “You saved me.”
“Of course I did, Roley. I wasn’t going to let anything hurt you.” I hug him again tightly, then get back to my feet.
“You’re not one of us anymore,” Mara spits at me.
“You don’t get to decide that, Mara, I do!” Dane yells, his face twisting into fury as he shoves it in hers. “Say one more word against her, and I will bring you back home immediately.”
Mara’s face drops, eyes widening as she stares at him in complete disbelief.
Hope swells in my chest. If Dane is threatening to bring Mara home, he must not be worried about using the last of the dust. Maybe he found a way to replenish it.
If this works, I can help everyone get home.
“Go back to bed, everyone. Now!” Dane yells, and the Voyagers meander back to their beds. Mara gives me one last look of disgust before turning on her heel and walking to the ladder, followed by everyone else who made it down to the clearing.
“Goodnight, Lennox,” Roley says with a small wave. “I’m glad you’re home.”
My chest squeezes as guilt courses through me.
This place isn’t my home anymore.
Roley sprints to the ladder and climbs up, waving as he runs through the pathways back toward the bunks.
“Come on,” Dane says, his hand wrapping around mine. I take a deep breath, trying to hide the revulsion I feel, and squashing the reaction to pull my hand away. “We need to talk.”
He leads me to the platform, and we wordlessly weave through camp to the infirmary. The door barely shuts behind us before Dane is pulling me farther into the room and wrapping me in his arms.
“Gods, I missed you. I can’t even tell you how relieved I am. I searched for you every day.”
The pressure of his body is stifling, but I fight it and hug him back.
“You did?” I say.
He leans back quickly, his gaze imploring. “Of course I did. I could barely rest knowing that he had you.”
I gulp as a tear slides down my cheek. Dane had been searching.
I’d seen it myself, but the feelings his words brought up then, are entirely different from the ones now.
He needed to find me, at all costs. He couldn’t let Weston convince me.
Back then, both times I saw him on the island, he sounded desperate, crazed.
It lines up with what Taril told me had changed at camp.
He swipes it away with the back of his fingers and I try not to flinch.
“Hey, it’s alright. Let’s get you fixed up.”
He looks over my scrapes, applying the salve heavily and making sure each one is cleaned and covered. When he gets to the bruise on my cheek, I stop him.
“I can do it,” I say, reaching to take the salve from him. I need a break from his hands on me already, and I’ve only just gotten back to camp.
I cringe inwardly, anticipating the next two days.
He watches me massage the salve into my skin, but stays silent. The look on his face tells me there’s a lot he wants to say, but he’s holding back, taking it slow.
“I don’t want to pry,” he says warily. “I know you just got back, but we need to talk about what happened.”
I finish rubbing the salve into my face and wipe my hands on my pants, dropping my chin so I don’t have to meet his eyes.
“I know,” I say. This is it, everything Sig and I planned for and rehearsed. I need to tell the truth where I can, so he doesn’t catch inconsistencies, but I need to protect everyone back home.
“Let’s start with what happened?”
I heave a deep sigh. “Honestly, I don’t know. I felt a blade at my throat and I froze. People appeared around me and took my weapons. I didn’t recognize anyone, and I got scared. I just listened and did what they said so they wouldn’t hurt me.”
“Did they come into camp?”
“No,” I say with a firm shake of my head. “It’s my fault. I know I was supposed to stay at camp that day, and I left. I thought staying put would help me deal with losing Fin, but it didn’t. I started getting so anxious and worried, and I just needed to get out.”
“Where were you when they took you?” His voice remains calm, and he hasn’t given me any indication that he doesn’t believe me. A bolt of confidence shoots through me, and I keep going, especially knowing the questions are only going to get harder.
“I was near the marshes, just below the plateau.”
Lie.
He takes it, without question, moving on to the next.
“Where did they take you? Where is their camp?”
This is the part I’m most worried about, the part I really need to sell.
I start to move my lips, soundlessly choking on my own words, and feigning frustration with each new attempt to speak.
“Ugh!” I groan and shake my head. “They forced a potion down my throat as soon as I was at their camp. I can’t tell or show anyone where they are, no matter how hard I try. I think it’s what has been protecting them.”