Chapter 54
CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR
Only a few moments later, Dane returns, arms piled high with firewood.
He kicks the door closed behind him and steps out of his boots, before crossing the room to the hearth and setting the wood down beside it.
The fire pops and flares as he adds more of the dry logs to it, and another wave of heat erupts into the room.
Unstrapping his serrated blade from his belt, he sets it on the hearth next to the wood.
I’d never given it a second glance before, but now I can’t seem to draw my eyes away from it; the same blade that carved up Weston’s abdomen, leaving the mangled, wretched scar from the wound that almost killed him.
I pull my gaze away, and focus back on Dane as he crawls toward me from the foot of the bed, laying on his side and propping his head up on his hand. I try not to sneak another glance at his belt, trying to keep my intentions hidden but also preventing him from thinking that I have others.
He didn’t take the dust off.
I don’t know why I thought he would; I’ve never seen him take it off. Now, trying to remove the pouch from his belt without waking him up is going to be a significant challenge, and might get me caught.
“Is something bothering you?” He reaches up and brushes a piece of hair off my face.
His touch is gentle, but my body stiffens beneath his fingertips.
I don’t know what his expectations are for tonight, for this alone time that I requested, but he assured me we wouldn’t do anything I was uncomfortable with.
Flashes of what we had done before, the few times we’d been alone together, plague my thoughts, and my skin crawls thinking about him touching me that way again.
His hand settles on the curve of my hip, and I cringe inwardly as he pulls me closer. I need to pretend, even if that means getting close to him, not like before, but enough to convince him to let his guard down.
“No. I’m fine,” I say. “I’m just really tired. Searching and thinking all day and late last night wore me out.”
“It might be helpful if I’m the only one who can search the safe houses,” he says. “That way, you can take a break and get some rest back at camp.”
“I don’t think I’ll be able to stay still while you’re out searching. I’ll have to keep looking too, or I’ll keep searching for the cure. Either way, I have to do something.”
His thumb slips under the hem of my shirt and strokes the skin just above my pants, and my lips flatten into a tight smile.
Don’t think about it, Lennox.
“I think we should give it a few more days before sending you back out. At least let me check all the safe houses first so I can go search with you. That way, no one can touch you.”
“Whatever you think is best,” I say.
He leans forward, eyes fixed on mine. “I’ll do anything to keep you safe.” He closes the distance and presses his lips to mine, and I can feel the question in his movements.
I stay focused on my breathing, preventing the short pants from taking hold of me, letting his lips stay pressed to mine before I pull back. I glance down, hoping it seems more nervous and less uninterested.
As I look back up, my eyes catch on his scar, and I reach out, running my fingertips over it, the same way I had all that time ago. His lips part slightly at my touch, but as he leans forward again, I press into them, holding him in place.
“Tell me the story again?”
He’s already told me once, but I want to hear it from his lips again and see how easily the lie rolls off his tongue.
“It was nothing special,” he says with a shrug, “just kids being kids.”
“With your sister, right?”
“Right,” he says. “I was too clumsy as a kid and fell when we were playing outside. Had to run all the way home with blood dripping down my face. It was traumatizing for such a young kid, believe me.”
Not a change in his voice, not a flutter of a muscle in his face.
How many lies has Dane told us so easily that flowed from his mouth as if they were true?
If I had any doubts Weston and Sig were the ones lying to me, they are gone now. I know they are telling the truth because Dane’s story has changed.
He was no longer running through his family home and falling to the doorjamb.
And he no longer has my trust, despite trying to convince me he is worthy of it.
Before I can respond, he leans forward again, his lips cutting me off as they move against mine.
The kiss is more insistent as his fingers tighten around my hip.
He pushes me gently, rolling me to my back so he is laying on top of me, his weight all but suffocating me as his kiss still draws my breath.
The moment his lips pull away, I suck in a deep breath, trying to steady the trapped feeling that is stirring in my chest. He shifts slightly and begins peppering my jawline with small kisses, making his way up to my ear.
“I can’t believe I found you,” he murmurs, kissing just under my lobe, then dragging his lips down the column of my neck.
He nudges the neck of my shirt to the side, and kisses along the length of my collarbone until it disappears under the fabric, and I keep breathing deeply, trying to come up with an excuse to stop him.
Then his lips are on mine again. I return the kisses, less enthusiastically than him, and I don’t care if he notices. If he questions it, I can easily blame being so run down and needing sleep.
He breaks away and leans back slightly, his eyes roaming over my face, my lips, before meeting my gaze again.
“I’ve been meaning to tell you something for a while now. I don’t want it to change anything between us, but I need to say it.”
My heart pounds, so hard that I’m sure he can hear it, and bile burns the back of my throat. What could Dane possibly have to tell me? What new lie is he using to reel me in, to manipulate me into believing everything he says?
He reaches up and strokes the side of my face, his eyes scanning between mine for a moment before he speaks.
“I’ve known it since the moment I saw you, but I’ve been keeping it to myself. I hope you feel the same, but even if you don’t yet, that won’t change anything for me. I just can’t keep it to myself any longer.” He pauses, eyes locking on mine again. “I love you, Lyla.”
My mouth falls open as the world around me comes to a crashing halt.
Humming fills my ears, blocking out any other sound as it gets louder and louder, like I’ve just jumped off the cliff and am still underwater.
My vision blurs and I blink rapidly until my eyes focus on Dane’s again, an earnest expression on his face, as he waits for my response.
The moment snaps back into place, and I push at his shoulders, trying to get out from under him. My chest heaves rapidly as he rolls to the side, and I scramble across the bed.
But now, he’s between me and the door.
“I’m sorry,” he says as he stands, turning to face me. His brow is furrowed and worry paints his features. “I’m sorry, I probably shouldn’t have said anything, but I couldn’t go another day without you at least knowing how I felt. I don’t want it to change our life together.”
My mouth is open, my jaw slack as my mind reels, processing what just happened.
“You don’t have to say it back,” he says, taking a step closer to the bed until his knees bump it.
As if the jolt of the bed wakes me up from a stupor, my eyes snap to his. I gape at him before I finally find the words, my voice coming out in a rasp.
“What did you just call me?”
The worry turns into confusion, as his head tilts to the side. “What do you mean?”
“That name. You called me a different name,” I say, pushing up onto my knees and walking back a few paces across the bed.
My hands go numb as I realize I’ve set myself up in the worst position possible.
There’s nowhere to go.
I’m trapped in this room. Dane stands between me and the only exit, and I have no weapon.
“No, I didn’t,” he says, shaking his head like he’s shocked at the accusation.
“How do you know that name, Dane?” My voice rises, panic and fury bubbling under my skin, begging to be unleashed.
“Lennox, I don’t know what you think you heard, but I didn’t call you another name.”
“You did!” I scream. The panic is taking over, along with rising uncertainty. I question myself, doubting my own senses and memory as I play back the last few moments in my head.
But no.
I’m not wrong.
I know what I heard.
I know what he said.
And I know he’s a liar.
“Don’t lie to me again, Dane. Why did you call me Lyla?”
Stepping back from the bed, he crosses his arms over his chest. His jaw hardens and his gaze intensifies as he glares down at me, irritation touching his voice. “Lennox, I don’t know what you’re accusing me of or why, but you need to get past it. Let’s just go to sleep.”
He moves toward the bed again, but I stop him.
“No!” I scream, throwing an arm out in front of me. It’s enough to startle him, causing him to halt where he stands.
My entire plan unravels before me; everything I worked to fix is disappearing into thin air. My chances of helping even some Castaways get home are dwindling, all because of this man.
This man with the key to our return hanging from his belt.
Who tried to kill the man I love.
Who is trying to convince me I didn’t hear what he said correctly.
This man who called me my mother’s name.
“Stop lying to me, Dane. I know you’re lying.” My voice trembles as I stare him down, waiting to see if he’ll lie again.
But he says nothing. The corners of his lips turn up into a smug smirk, and my stomach drops.
“How do you know who I am?” I whisper.
I’ve kept my identity hidden from everyone on this island. Weston knew, and told Sig, but Dane shouldn’t have. The only way he would know that name meant something to me, is if he knows who I am, and lied to try to hide his mistake.
“I knew the second I saw you walk into that library who you were. There was no mistaking you were her daughter.”