Chapter 15 Olivia
My trepidation mixes with desire.
I want Blake, even with the fight and trouble between us.
It’s not like I’m good at this kind of thing, though.
I should probably warn him about that. I would, but it feels like my brain is frozen.
I can’t seem to peel my gaze away from him as he undresses.
Fear is rising inside of me, but at the same time I’m turned on.
The only time I’ve felt mildly sexual was with Bear.
It never reached this intense type of feeling though.
That was probably because it ended before Bear, and I got to that point.
I know what happened was how things were supposed to be.
He and Ayita are happy, but it hurt. It also made me feel inadequate all over again.
I never asked him, but I’ve always felt I lacked something for him.
If not, he would have stopped dating Ayita when we began talking again.
After all, I knew the minute Ayita was thinking of being in a true relationship with Bear and it was only a couple of weeks after Bear, and I met again.
He could have ended it with her if he truly wanted me in his life.
Over the years, I’ve realized that Bear does truly love Ayita.
The man is also a protector by nature, and he would never want to hurt her.
I love Ayita too, so I understand. I couldn’t build my happiness on her pain.
“What are you thinking Usdi?” Blade asks, and I realize that I let my thoughts pull me away from what is going on.
Blade is standing at the foot of the bed, staring down at me.
His pants and belt are undone. I look up at him and this man is beautiful.
His chest is beautiful and massive. He’s covered in tribal designed tatts and as always when I see him like this, it’s unexpected.
I thought since he was an attorney and did his work in conference rooms or whatever, he’d not be into inking his body.
With my history, I thought I’d dislike it.
I don’t. He’s beautiful. I imagine if he let his short hair grow longer, he’d look like a Viking conqueror and that makes my body heat in reaction.
I push thoughts of Bear away. He can’t be in my life in that way and it’s disrespectful to what Blade and I could share.
Bear is my past, and I’m praying that Blade is my future.
Of course, while wondering if he is, thoughts of my brother spring to mind.
I need to tell Blade the truth. It’s something he deserves to know.
I’m on the verge of telling him when I can only gasp because Blade is leaning over me, arms brace on each side of my body and his intense eyes staring into mine.
“Blade,” I pant, “I need to talk to—”
“The time for words is over, Livy. Now, the only talking that will be done is with our bodies. You thought you could push me away, toss away what we have together as if it was nothing. That will not happen, baby. You and I are going to make this work. I will fight for it. I will go to war for it. I will even fight you my beautiful, Usdi, if it means keeping you in my life and in my bed. I won’t let you get rid of me. ”
“Blade …” I whisper, his words undoing me.
“I love you, my beautiful Usdi. I love you and somewhere deep inside of you, you love me. I know you do. You just need to believe that you are safe with me, because you absolutely, fucking are.”
“I’m not—”
“You are,” he growls, his eyes intent.
He thinks I’m arguing the fact that I’m safe with him. I do feel safe, even though we are at odds about the club. That’s not what I’m arguing. I do feel the need to point out one thing though. “I’m not judgmental,” I respond, because those words truly hurt me.
“I was pissed, Livy. That’s all those words are.
I can’t promise, I won’t be an asshole again, but I will promise to keep in mind that the woman I love is involved and handle you with care from this moment forward,” he vows, shifting his weight to one arm and using his other to tuck some of my hair behind my ear.
I let his words settle inside of me. I believe them.
Despite everything, I believe him. I take a breath and look up at the man who just minutes ago told me that he loved me.
I didn’t allow myself to truly react, but now those words settle.
I close my eyes, storing up my strength, and do my best to get control of my emotions.
“Blade, there are things you don’t know.
Things I haven’t shared. I’m not really good at this kind of thing because of it. ”
I don’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t to have him give me a smile that can only be described as sexy as hell. “Livy, it’s my job to make sure my woman enjoys what we do together.”
“I didn’t think sex should be called a job,” I grumble, making him laugh. All signs of his earlier anger have faded, and I stare up at him in surprise.
“It’s the most enjoyable job ever created and one that I will gladly accept for the rest of my life, Usdi.
I will give you so much pleasure and teach you exactly how to please your man.
The last thing you should worry about is how good we will be together.
I promise you that and all I ask in return is your trust that you are safe with me. ”
“I believe that, Blade. Even when we were fighting and your words hurt me, I didn’t fear you. I know the difference between hurt and fear. Plus …”
“Plus?” he prompts.
I fidget with my hands, nervous about my next words, but knowing that Blade deserves to hear them. “I love you, Blade,” I murmur, my heart running away with me as I avoid looking at him.
He puts a finger under my chin and pushes until I’m forced to raise my head. Our gazes lock and he has the most beautiful smile on his face that I’ve ever seen. “Oh, Usdi. You’re never getting away from me now,” he purrs. Then, his lips are on mine.
His kisses are more intense than they’ve ever been before.
I’m completely lost in the feel of him, the taste, and the focus he uses with every touch.
I’m drowning in his desire for me and my hunger for him.
He has me undressed before I truly even understand his intent.
When the cool air of the room hits my heated skin, awareness hits me, and I look up at Blade more than a little shell-shocked.
I’ve never in my life lost myself as much as I have so far with him.
“Blade,” I whisper, bringing my hands up to hide. He doesn’t let me. He immediately pulls them back down, pinning them against the mattress.
“Don’t ever hide yourself from me, Livy. I won’t allow it. You’re mine.”
“I’m not used to … I’ve never willingly … I mean …”
“Shh,” he breathes. “I’ve got you and you’re safe. You’re always safe with me, Usdi.”
With that promise, his lips come back to mine.
I immediately meet his kiss with renewed hunger, my tongue sliding against his.
They glide and tease together in perfect harmony and all the while, Blade’s hand is sliding down my body, creating magic as he lets the pads of his fingers move down my neck, and across my breast. His thumb and finger pull and tease my nipple as he swallows down my moan of pleasure.
His lips move to my neck, before moving to suck on my earlobe.
I whimper as he once again tugs painfully on my nipple.
“Blade,” I cry, feeling hunger like I’ve never felt before in my life.
“You have to be quiet, Livy. You don’t want your father to hear me making love to you, do you?”
“N-N-No,” I moan, biting down on my lip when his naked body caresses against mine. I force my eyes to open and watch as he stares directly at me, while moving down my body.
“Blade …”
“It’s time for me to taste what belongs to me,” he says with a wicked gleam in his eyes, as his hand moves from my breast to between my thighs.
I know I’m wet. I can feel the evidence of my hunger for him leaking against the inside of my thighs.
I can feel the heat rising in my face as his fingers press between the lips of my pussy.
“Open your legs for me, Usdi, I just want to make you feel good.”
I stare into his eyes and open my legs wider.
He surprises me by capturing one and moving so that my leg is draped over his shoulder, bent at the knee.
I want to question him, but before I can I feel his finger slide through my wetness and search out my clit, rubbing it ever so lightly.
It feels so good my entire body vibrates with hunger.
“You fucking soaked for me, Livy. Do you want me? Do you want my dick buried deep inside of you, fucking you until you come all over me?”
His words should appall me. Instead, they just make me more excited. “Blade, please,” I beg, my hips rocking without direction.
“Oh, I do plan on pleasing you. I’m going to enjoy everything your body has to give me.
I can’t wait to be buried so deep in you that neither of us can catch our breath.
I want to feel your cum enveloping my cock, your sweet cunt squeezing and milking me.
You belong to me, Livy. You’re mine,” he growls quietly.
With every word he says, I get more turned on.
I’m so wet that I can hear his fingers pressing through my juices.
When I feel his fingertips press against my clit, my back bows as I come off the mattress.
Sensations I never knew existed and so much pleasure that I might lose myself completely hit me simultaneously.
I reach up to grab his bicep on the arm that is holding his weight.
My other one hits his chest—right over his heart.
The steady, rapid beat grounds me as I once again find his eyes.
“Blade, please,” I beg, not exactly sure what I’m asking for. I think he must know, though, because he grins.
“Do you want me, Livy?”
“Yes,” I admit in complete honesty. “I want you so much it hurts.”