Sixteen | Sean
Sixteen
Sean
M y body was tense and rigid as I sat at the table, unsure how to act around my brother’s wife and two little girls as they joined us for dinner. I found the missing decorations my mom had been looking for and helped her finish putting them up while Declan worked with my dad to restock the wood for the fireplace.
Stephanie and the girls arrived a few hours ago, but I’d purposely made myself busy to avoid having to interact with anyone. When my mother said my brother would be coming to town for Christmas, she could have mentioned that he had a family he was bringing with him. I knew that she had wanted to keep her distance from the fight we had going on between us, but this was important information, and I hated being blindsided by it.
“Can you pass the gravy?” my mother asked after handing the bowl of mashed potatoes to Stephanie. I reached for it at the same time as my brother, pulling my hand away before he could touch it.
“Daddy, can you open this for me?” Jocelyn asked, handing me her bottle of apple juice.
“Umm,” I said, frowning as I looked at it. I didn’t mind opening it for her, but I didn’t want her to continue thinking I was her father.
“That’s Uncle Sean,” my mother replied, not bothering to ask if I minded that they called me that. Sure, I was technically their uncle, but that didn’t mean I was ready to wear the title. “And yes, he can open it for you, Jocelyn.”
I pushed out a quick breath and then gently took the bottle from her little hands. Once it was opened, I gave it back, watching to make sure she didn’t spill it before setting it on the table beside her food.
“Why does he look like daddy then?” Carly asked, pointing at me.
“Because he’s your daddy’s twin brother. They are identical twins, which means they look a lot alike. Just like you girls,” Stephanie explained, brushing a strand of brown hair out of her daughter’s face.
“How are we supposed to know who is daddy then?” Jocelyn questioned, her curiosity valid.
“Well...” Stephanie started, looking at my brother with pinched brows.
“You just call me daddy, and I’ll answer,” my brother replied before taking a bite of his food.
“Or, you can look at their eyes,” my mother added. “Your daddy has a small mole right by his left eye, and Uncle Sean does not.”
Both girls turned to look at their dad’s face before turning to study mine. I could only imagine how confusing it was for them to find out that their dad had a twin brother and seeing me for the first time. Stephanie seemed to know about me, but I had no idea what all Declan had told her about why we weren’t close anymore or if he had told her the real reason for our falling out twelve years ago.
“So,” my mother said, changing the subject. “Your father and I are heading over early to get seats for the parade tomorrow. Sean, you’re welcome to ride with us if you’d like to. I’m sure you remember how busy it used to get when you still lived here, but it’s even bigger now, and parking is hard to find.”
“Yeah. Sure. Sounds great.” I took a bite and tried to swallow but nearly choked when she continued.
“Declan, you guys can meet us here and then follow us over. That way, we can all sit together for the parade.”
I closed my eyes and tried to hold back the groan that desperately wanted to come out. I knew my brother would likely want to take the girls to the parade so they could see the reindeer and Santa, but I didn’t expect us to be doing everything as a family. It was hard enough pretending to like him when no one was around, but it was pure torture to put on a fake act for his daughters.
Once everyone finished with dinner, I volunteered to do the dishes so I could avoid having to be around Declan. I was filling the sink with hot water when I noticed someone standing beside me at the sink.
“I know that you need space from everyone, but would you mind if I helped you with dishes? I could really use a break right now,” Stephanie said with a heavy sigh.
“Umm. Sure.”
I didn’t know her well and didn’t want to be rude by telling her no.
“Is everything okay?” I asked, my innate desire to fix everything rising to the surface from the sound of distress I recognized in her voice.
“Yeah. It’s just hard this time of year, know what I mean?” She pushed the sleeves of her sweater up and looked at me as we stood side by side at the sink. “Sorry,” she said, shaking her head. “Of course you don’t know what I mean. You didn’t even know we existed until a few hours ago and now some strange woman who’s married to your brother wants to babble on about the stress of the holidays with two small children.”
She laughed nervously and reached for the stack of plates sitting on the counter.
“How about I wash and you dry?” I offered, noticing how out of place she looked and not wanting to cause her any more stress.
“Okay. I can put things away, too, if you let me know where they go.”
I nodded and took the plates from her as she walked to the other side of me and turned the water on. I scrubbed the first plate with soapy water and then handed it to her, both of us working in silence for a minute as we got into a groove.
“Is there anything specific that’s stressing you out about the holidays with the girls?” I asked, not sure why I was taking the time to find out. It wasn’t like I was planning to have a relationship with my brother, so there wouldn’t be any relationships with his wife or children either. But I was by nature a problem solver and couldn’t seem to help myself.
“They’re getting older and they understand more now,” she started, glancing up at me as she took the next plate to rinse it before setting it on the rack with the rest she was going to dry. “I want to create the magic for them, but I don’t know how. I grew up in a house that didn’t celebrate the holidays, so this is all new to me. When Declan and I got pregnant, he told me about all of the fun traditions you guys had growing up, and that’s what I want for our girls. But I don’t know how to do it. I know that sounds weird, but none of this feels natural to me.”
“What kind of traditions are you trying to start?”
“Well, I wanted to do the stuff he told me about, like opening one gift the night before Christmas and giving everyone a new set of pajamas so we can cuddle together on Christmas Eve and watch movies. But then I hear about this elf thing, and I feel like the girls would like that, but I don’t even know where to start with it. Do you know how hard it is to find a little elf?”
“I do, actually,” I replied with a grin. “I work at Waldon’s, which is basically a giant store with everything you could ever need. I can’t tell you how quickly we sold out of the elf-on-a-shelf dolls we had there and how many extra orders we had come in that sold out right away. They’re so popular, we can’t keep them on the shelves. We even have people from neighboring towns that drive all the way over to grab one.”
“Great,” she said with another heavy sigh. “I thought I might be too late for it this year. I keep trying so hard not to ruin Christmas, but it feels like I’m doing everything wrong.”
I let the plate I was washing sink to the bottom of the sink as I dried my hands on a towel and turned to face her.
“You’re not ruining Christmas for them, Stephanie. Even if you got an elf, they likely don’t even know what it is or what they’re supposed to do. Maybe you save that for next year, when they start school and their friends talk nonstop about it. Then you guys can plan ahead and get one early so theirs can show up and cause trouble with everyone else’s.”
“Thank you. That’s very sweet of you. And you’re right; they wouldn’t know any more about it right now than we do. Maybe it’s better to wait until they’re a little older. I just want to make sure they have fun and that they stay excited for Christmas.”
“I get that,” I said as I resumed washing dishes while she worked on drying the stack of plates she had. “But there’s a lot of fun, easy stuff you guys can do to keep them excited. Like the Frosty Fest—all of the kids love that. From what I’ve heard, there will be a pen where the kids can feed the reindeer. Plus, they’ll have a chance to see Santa and Mrs. Claus and get pictures taken.”
“I think they’re super excited about the reindeer.” Stephanie laughed, sounding less stressed. “Your mom promised to take them to a few stores, and I guess she’s getting some sugar cookie sets that you can decorate?”
“Probably from Sugarplum Sweets. I heard Andi, the owner, was doing toddler sugar cookie decorating classes, but they might be over now. I know I saw some of the decorating kits in the shop, though, so I’m sure my mom already grabbed some before they sold out.”
“Yeah, I believe she said she wanted to do pizza tomorrow night for dinner, and then she wanted to get everyone together to decorate the cookies on Sunday. You’ll be there, right?”
Just then, Jocelyn came into the kitchen, tugging on Stephanie’s shirt as she tried to get her attention.
“I think I work that day,” I lied, hoping she didn’t hear it in my voice.
“You’re not going to decorate cookies with us?” Jocelyn asked, pouting.
“You’re not supposed to be listening to adult’s conversations,” Stephanie told her softly as she bent down to be on her daughter’s level. “You know that.”
“I’m sorry.” Jocelyn’s little eyes started to water as she lowered her head. “I just really want Uncle Sean to help me with the cookies.”
Stephanie looked up at me with an apologetic smile, but it wasn’t her fault that her daughter shot a dagger straight into my heart.
I knelt down, getting on Jocelyn’s level with Stephanie.
“If it would make you happy, I’ll come help decorate cookies,” I told her, giving her a genuine smile.
She released her grip on her mother and launched herself into my arms, nearly knocking me off balance as she wrapped her little arms around my neck.
The way my heart felt like it was going to explode from the unconditional love my niece was giving me was too much. I looked up just in time to see my brother in the doorway, watching us.