Chapter 16
Three days later, Johanna was still avoiding Blaze, although not entirely on purpose. Well, okay, maybe partially on purpose.
But mostly she needed space to think, and in theory that sounded mature and emotionally responsible.
In practice, her need for “space” mostly looked like ignoring missed calls, responding to his texts with short messages and polite punctuation, sneaking out of work through side exits, and pretending her chest didn’t tighten every time Blaze’s name lit up her phone.
Honestly, it was exhausting.
By Friday evening, Johanna sat inside Clarence’s Fish & Chicken staring down at a basket of fries while her friends and Paige openly analyzed her emotional downfall like a panel of relationship experts determined to save her from herself.
The Friday night dinner crowd buzzed loudly around them beneath hanging pendant lights and old-school R&B drifting softly through the overhead speakers. The scent of fried fish, cayenne seasoning, buttered rolls, and sweet tea filled the packed restaurant while laughter echoed from nearby tables.
Clarence’s stayed busy for two reasons: the food was legendary, and the gossip came free with every order. Sheraton Beach residents treated the restaurant like unofficial town hall, which meant absolutely nobody minded their business.
MacKenzie popped a fry into her mouth while narrowing her eyes across the booth at Johanna.
“So let me understand this correctly.”
Johanna already hated that tone. “Mac—”
“No.” She pointed dramatically with a chicken wing.
“Because I’m really trying to follow the logic here.
Blaze loves you, flew you to Baltimore, practically looks five minutes away from going caveman every time you blink at him, and now you acting like that man joined witness protection because Seattle’s recruiting him. ”
Paige nearly choked laughing beside her.
Johanna glared at both of them. “Y’all are being extremely unsupportive.”
Leigh sipped her sweet tea calmly. “No, I think we’re trying to determine whether fear has made you lose your mind.”
Johanna groaned and leaned back against the booth cushions.
“I knew I shouldn’t have told y’all anything.”
MacKenzie leaned forward immediately. “You absolutely should’ve told us because now we can explain how ridiculous you sound.”
Johanna blinked slowly. “Wow.”
Paige pointed toward her without hesitation. “And before you get defensive, you’ve been looking down at your phone every seven minutes.”
“I have not.”
“Johanna,” Leigh said calmly, “your phone is literally face-up beside your ranch dressing.”
Who needs enemies with friends and family.
Johanna grabbed another fry with entirely too much aggression while trying not to acknowledge the uncomfortable truth sitting underneath all their teasing.
Part of her knew they weren't completely wrong, which only made the last three days harder to endure. Blaze still texted every morning. He still checked on her throughout the day and somehow refused to let distance settle between them.
And Lord…
Johanna hated how much effort it took not to melt every time.
MacKenzie gently rubbed her baby bump while watching Johanna's face. Whatever she saw there erased the humor from her expression. “You love him.”
Johanna froze instantly.
The table quieted around her because somehow hearing the words spoken out loud made everything feel terrifyingly real.
Johanna lowered her eyes quickly to the table. “I never stopped,” she admitted quietly.
Leigh reached across the table and squeezed Johanna’s hand gently. “Then this isn’t really about Seattle.”
Johanna laughed softly without humor while staring down at her untouched fries.
“No. It’s about what happens if I trust him completely and he leaves anyway.”
The silence settling across the table told Johanna her friends finally understood the real fear underneath the argument.
MacKenzie leaned back slowly against the booth. “You know what I think?”
Johanna looked up reluctantly.
“I think Blaze Carter spent years being emotionally stupid before realizing you’re the love of his life.”
Paige nodded immediately. “Agreed.”
“And,” MacKenzie continued carefully, “I think you’re so scared of getting hurt again that part of you would rather sabotage the relationship before he gets the chance to do it.”
Johanna opened her mouth to argue. Then closed it again. Because damn it… that felt a little too accurate.
Before anybody could say anything else, the front door of Clarence’s opened. Johanna looked up instinctively, then immediately forgot how to breathe.
Blaze.
He walked inside wearing faded blue jeans and a charcoal sweater layered beneath a black bomber jacket that stretched across his broad chest and powerful shoulders.
Ryan and Michael followed behind him laughing loudly about something, but Blaze stopped walking the second he saw her.
The crowded restaurant seemed to soften around the edges after that.
Their eyes locked across the crowded restaurant while conversation, music, and laughter blurred into background noise. And just like that, every ounce of distance she tried to create collapsed all at once.
Blaze’s expression shifted slightly to scan the room before his gaze settled back on Johanna with a warmth that made her stomach flip painfully.
MacKenzie leaned closer beside her and whispered softly, “Oh girl… that man looks heartbroken.”
And somehow that hurt Johanna far worse than anger ever could.
Blaze stood near the entrance a second too long, not frozen so much as carefully trying to read her expression from across the crowded restaurant.
Johanna felt it immediately, that steady, searching look, like he was trying to figure out whether she was slipping farther away from him or finding her way back.
And the worst part was that some part of her wanted to run straight into his arms. The other part couldn't stop replaying the discovery that he'd once imagined a future somewhere else.
Ryan noticed them at the table. His gaze bounced between Blaze and Johanna before he muttered something low to Michael that made Michael grimace sympathetically.
Wonderful.
Leigh shook her head as she said, “You look like you’re about to either cry or climb that man like a tree.”
“Please stop talking.”
Paige whispered dramatically, “Omg! Jo, he’s coming over here.”
Johanna’s pulse stumbled hard.
Blaze started walking toward the table slowly, shoulders tense beneath the bomber jacket while every woman at the table suddenly pretended not to watch.
The restaurant buzzed around them with plates clattering in the kitchen, and laughter spilling across nearby tables from people completely unaware that Johanna’s entire emotional stability had just walked through the front door.
But the closer Blaze got to the table, the quieter Johanna’s world became. The noise of the restaurant faded beneath the sudden awareness of him.
Blaze stopped beside the booth, gaze settling on Johanna first before acknowledging everyone else. “Ladies.”
Mackenzie smiled sweetly. “Well look who’s here.”
“MacKenzie,” Ryan warned and planted a kiss to his wife’s cheek.
Blaze almost smiled.
Almost.
But it faded quickly when his eyes came back to her.
“Can I talk to you for a minute?”
Simple question.
Soft voice.
No pressure.
Still, panic fluttered low in Johanna’s chest immediately.
Because she knew Blaze.
Knew if they were alone together, he’d say all the right things.
And the terrifying thing… part of her would believe him.
Johanna forced herself to stay seated.
“I’m eating.”
The response came out colder than she intended, and Blaze noticed immediately. His jaw tightened slightly before he gave a single nod. “Okay.”
That should have made her feel relieved. Instead, guilt spread slowly through her chest. There was no anger in his expression and no defensiveness, only the quiet pain of someone trying not to push too hard while clearly feeling every inch of the distance between them.
Ryan awkwardly cleared his throat somewhere behind him. “Uh… we can grab another table.”
“Go,” Blaze said quietly without taking his eyes off Johanna. “I’ll stay here.”
Paige looked between them nervously before sliding out of the booth. “I’m gonna go get another drink.”
Coward.
Leigh followed immediately.
Then Mackenzie left.
What kind of friends are they?
Within seconds Johanna sat alone at the table while Blaze remained standing beside it.
The noise around them suddenly felt too loud.
Too close.
Blaze looked down at her untouched basket of fish and fries.
“I thought you were eating.”
Johanna stared at the table. “I’m not really hungry.”
A long silence stretched between them. Then Blaze slid into the seat across from her.
The movement startled her enough that she finally looked up. His expression softened immediately the second their eyes met.
Lord.
“You been avoiding me,” he said quietly.
Johanna looked back down instantly. “I’ve been busy.”
“Baby.”
The tenderness in that one word almost cracked her composure completely.
Blaze leaned forward slightly, forearms resting on the table. “We need to talk. I miss you.”
Johanna’s throat tightened painfully. Because she missed him too. Every second of the day. That was the problem.
Blaze studied her face carefully while the silence stretched between them again.
“You really that scared of me leaving?”
Johanna gave a soft laugh without humor. “You really don’t understand?”
Blaze’s expression tightened. “Help me understand then.”
She looked up finally. And there was that dangerous sincerity in his eyes. Like he genuinely wanted to fix this.
Johanna hated how much she wanted to let him.
“You don’t know what it’s like,” she said quietly, "Waiting for somebody to decide whether you're enough.”
“Jo—”
“And maybe Seattle happened before us,” she continued softly, emotion beginning to fray around the edges now, “but you still kept it from me while we were building all this again.”
Blaze’s jaw flexed. “I wasn’t hiding it.”
“You weren’t telling it either.”
The truth settled heavily between them.
Blaze looked away briefly, frustration moving quietly across his face before he leaned back in the booth.
“You know what’s killing me right now?” he asked softly.
Johanna didn’t answer.
“That you look at me like I’m already gone.”
Her chest tightened immediately. Because maybe MacKenzie was right. Maybe she was emotionally preparing herself. Bracing for impact before she got hurt worse.
Blaze rubbed one hand slowly across his chin while exhaustion finally settled visibly into his expression. “I don’t know how to convince you I’m not trying to run anymore.”
The quiet defeat in his voice nearly undid Johanna on the spot. Almost.
But fear remained louder than everything else. It reminded her how badly losing him once had hurt and how quickly happiness could disappear when she finally started trusting it. Most of all, fear reminded her that loving Blaze Carter would never truly feel safe, no matter how deeply she loved him.
Johanna pushed her basket gently away before lifting her eyes back to Blaze’s.
The overhead lights inside Clarence’s reflected softly against the glass of cola sitting near his hand while the noise of the restaurant blurred around them.
Plates clattered near the kitchen. Somebody laughed too loudly near the counter.
Music drifted low through the speakers overhead.
But none of it reached her fully anymore.
All Johanna could feel was the ache building between them.
“I don’t want to do this.”
Blaze’s expression tightened slightly, not with anger, but with the kind of restraint that hurt worse to witness. He leaned back slowly against the booth while keeping his eyes locked on hers.
“Do what?” he asked quietly.
Johanna’s throat tightened instantly. “This.” She gestured weakly between them with trembling fingers. “Feeling like I’m standing on the edge of something that could break me all over again.”
The words hung heavily in the air after that.
Silence settled between them thick enough to feel physical, and Johanna suddenly hated how easily Blaze could unravel her. One look from him still reached places inside her she spent years trying to seal shut.
Blaze held her gaze for a long moment before finally nodding once. Slowly. Carefully. Like her fear physically hurt him even though he understood exactly where it came from.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” he said quietly. “I want to love you.”
God.
The gentleness in his voice nearly destroyed what little composure she had left. Johanna shifted her gaze and found herself staring blindly toward the front windows of the restaurant while one terrifying thought settled heavily inside her mind.
What if love alone wasn’t enough to save them this time?
Across the room, her friends watched anxiously from their booth while Ryan and Michael suddenly became deeply fascinated by the dessert display near the register. Neither man looked remotely convincing.
Johanna swallowed hard before sliding slowly from the booth. “I can’t.”
The sadness that crossed Blaze’s face almost stopped her. Almost.
Before she could turn away, Blaze reached across the table and caught her wrist gently.
“Jo, wait.”
Johanna looked down at his fingers surrounding her wrist before forcing herself to lift her eyes back to his.
Exhaustion and emotion shadowed his face. Blaze wasn’t fighting with her anymore. He wasn’t trying to convince her or push her. He just looked like a man watching somebody he loved walk away.
Johanna’s chest tightened painfully.
“Not this time, Blaze,” she whispered, her voice rough with emotion.
Then Johanna gently pulled herself free from his grasp and turned toward the door before she lost the nerve to leave at all.
The cold night air hit her instantly the second she stepped outside, but it still didn’t feel half as brutal as the look Blaze Carter left behind in her chest.