Chapter 31
Chapter Thirty-One
Aisling
For the first week Aisling was home, any time Tamsin was within grabbing distance, Aisling pulled her into her arms for a kiss.
Unfortunately, they couldn’t spend all of that time in bed letting Carl and Mateo take care of the kids, because Carl and Mateo had flown to Wales to spend time with Jake and Maya. Mateo would return in a week, but Carl would stay over there for the next couple of weeks.
Maya wouldn’t be traveling for a while yet. She needed to decompress, they needed to make sure her physical condition was stable, and the psychologist wanted to work with her in tandem with Callum to help her process the trauma.
But yes, she wanted to move to Florida so they could live with Carl and Mateo. They would build a house with two wings on it and the kitchen and living room in the center so they could have their privacy as well as live as a family.
Aisling still hadn’t told her family about them mating. She wasn’t sure how to approach it, and was also selfishly wanting Tamsin all to herself for a while.
Two days after Mateo’s return, on a Saturday when they didn’t have the other kids to take care of, while Maisie was napping, they were lying in bed watching TV when they looked up at a knock on their open doorframe. Mateo stood there with a rather large package in hand.
“Tamsin, were you expecting something from Trevor Clarke?”
She let out a happy squeal and bounded from the bed to take it from him. “Yes! Thank you ever so much!” Tamsin didn’t outright slam the door in his face, but she gently shooed him away so she could close the door.
And she locked it.
Aisling sat up. “Love? What’s all this then?” The rectangular box was approximately a meter long and didn’t appear to be heavy from how Tamsin carried it.
Tamsin’s eyes gleamed with playful mischief as she walked over and sat on the bed, facing Aisling. “It’s for you.” She set it in Aisling’s lap.
Aisling was surprised by how light it felt for its size.
She retrieved the pocketknife from her back pocket and carefully slit the tape to open it while Tamsin eagerly watched, practically vibrating with excitement.
When Aisling dug through the packing peanuts and discovered what was inside, her heart nearly seized.
She looked at Tamsin, who sat there wide-eyed and happily nodding as Aisling carefully removed the familiar, battered black fiddle case from the box.
There wasn’t anything else in the box besides the packing peanuts, so she set that on the floor, her pulse now racing as she unfastened the latches and opened the case.
The instrument itself was even more battered than she remembered, but it looked like it’d been recently polished and serviced.
New pegs, new strings, a new chin rest, a new bridge, a new tail piece with fine tuners, where before it didn’t have those, and several additional packs of high-quality strings, as well as two fresh cakes of quality rosin.
The two bows were also new, one carbon fiber and one wood, with real horsehair on both.
Aisling’s vision blurred from the tears bubbling up as she carefully unfastened the leather strap holding the instrument in place and removed it.
“I called Trevor and asked him if he could find it,” Tamsin said, her smile fading.
“He talked to your brothers first, and they couldn’t remember what happened to it.
Then he spoke to your mum, and she said it’d been up in the attic for decades.
She caught some of the grandkids playing with it once and they nearly broke it so she tucked it away for safekeeping.
Trevor flew one of his men over to retrieve it.
He delivered it to the best luthier in the UK.
It didn’t have any bows in the case, and there was some damage, and—”
Aisling leaned over, cupped the back of her neck, and slanted her lips over Tamsin’s in a long, crushing kiss she never wanted to end.
Finally, Aisling sat back, blinking away tears. “Thank you, pet,” she hoarsely whispered. “This is amazing. Truly.”
Tamsin fished her phone out of her back pocket and swiped into an app, showing Aisling. “I looked this up. It’s specifically for tuning violins.”
Aisling smiled and used it to tune the instrument, although she was surprised to find her ear still served her well. Then she took out the wooden bow, tightened it, and after rasping one of the rosin bricks, she started prepping the bow.
Tamsin sat and watched her the whole time with that playfully pleased smile Aisling loved, as if this were the most fascinating event in the world to her.
As if she were fascinating to Tamsin.
No one had ever looked at her like that before.
Finally, after checking the tuning again, Aisling fitted the fiddle in place and then looked at Tamsin. “It’s been quite a while, love,” she warned. “This might not sound pretty. Maybe ye should have thought of buyin’ earplugs.”
Tamsin’s smile widened. “I don’t care. It’s worth it to see how happy you look right now.”
Happy?
Aisling couldn’t remember the last time she’d used that word to describe herself. Certainly, never since she was an adult.
All right, ye beastie. Let’s see what we can do, hmm?
First, she played a D major scale, and after a couple of slightly scratchy passes, as she grew used to the new strings and new bow, and after adjusting the bow tension, her bowing technique improved, as did her intonation.
After playing the scale two more times, followed by a G major scale, she paused before settling on “Wild Rover.”
To Aisling’s delight, Tamsin started singing along, even clapping during the chorus.
When she finished playing it all the way through, she lowered the fiddle and sniffled back more tears.
“Da would have me sit on his lap when I was just a pup. Showed me how to bow, how to find the notes by putting his fingers over mine. Took me a few weeks to figure it out. Taught me the tin whistle, too. My brothers were all shite at it. Preferred football to music.”
She wiped away tears against her shoulder.
“I remember going down to the pub with him sometimes when Mam was working, and he’d let me play in sets with him and his mates as long as I hurried home in time to be in bed before Mam got home.
I wasn’t supposed to be there, but the owner was a friend of his.
They’d hand a pint to any guards what made their way inside, and they’d look the other way while listenin’ to us play.
Sometimes he’d have me play whistle, sometimes fiddle.
Could play the bones and a bodhrán, too. ”
She sniffled again. “Last time we played together, I was eleven. Mam was working a double shift all night so I could stay until Da left. I didn’t have school the next day.
Last song we played was ‘Parting Glass,’ and he even poured a little from his pint into my cup so I could toast with them. Just a swallow, mind ye.”
Tears stung her eyes as she dredged up memories she’d tried for too damned long to bury because they hurt too much to remember.
“Only time I ever got to drink with him. A week later, he and Nic and Paddy were dead. Saddest damned thing is they weren’t even fightin’.
Mindin’ their own business. They got caught in a car bomb blast while on their way home from helpin’ out a friend workin’ on his roof.
Their own mates had set it off. ‘Collateral damage,’ the feckin’ head cunt told Mam when he stopped by after their wake.
Handed her a couple thousand pounds and said they’d bring her more over the next few months. ”
She tamped back the old, familiar rage, the helplessness.
“He called ’em ‘unsung heroes.’ Like that made everything better.
Like that’d be a comfort looking at empty seats around the table for meals, or fillin’ the empty side of her bed every night.
What little there was of our pack paid for their funerals and had to help us out more often than not every month until we were all out of school and fendin’ fer ourselves and sendin’ money back to Mam to help her keep the house.
Two of my brothers still live with her with their wives and what kids are still young enough to live at home, makin’ sure she’s taken care of.
That’s one of the reasons I enlisted, to be able to help care for her. ”
Tamsin laid her hands over Aisling’s. “I’m so sorry.”
She sniffled. “Yeah, well, it’s in the past, innit? Long before you were even born.” Another hoarse laugh. “Hell, I’ve got niblings old enough to be yer folks.”
“But it’s your pain, your trauma,” Tamsin insisted.
“And it’s every bit as valid as mine or anyone else’s.
That’s why I need you to stop thinking you need to silo your pain.
Especially from me. I’m yours, and you’re mine, and that means we take the whole messy package we each are, exactly as we are in this moment. For better or worse.”
Aisling finally met her gaze again. “The Goddess is a fickle damned cunt, ain’t she?”
Tamsin smiled. “She is. But maybe She’s trying to atone in the only way She can.
To balance the scales somewhat. It doesn’t erase our pasts or magically remove the pain from our souls, but now we have each other to lean on and love and to make new and happy memories with.
And I know Maisie would want me to be happy.
Just like I’m sure your Da and brothers would want you to be happy.
Just like I know had I died and Maisie survived, I know if she met a new mate I’d be thrilled for her. ”
Aisling hoarsely laughed. “Not so sure how thrilled Mam will be when I tell her about us.”
Tamsin cocked her head. “You think she’ll be upset you’re gay?”
“I dunno. I haven’t been around much. And, like with Imani, all I have to do is divert to the subject of any of the grands, and that’s all she can go on about.
So…” She shrugged. “Let’s just say I’m glad Trevor and Elizabeth are on our side.
And all this lot here, of course.” She tipped her head, indicating the house—and the Targhees.
“What about your brothers and sister?” Tamsin asked. “Their spouses?”
Aisling shrugged. “Dunno. Reason and hope tell me at least a few will be okay, or maybe won’t object. But I can’t promise some of them won’t be absolute cunts about it.”
“Play something else? Please?”
Not that Aisling thought she’d ever be able to say no to her mate, but it was easier than talking with her emotions running so high and fierce.
Aisling checked the tuning once more before fitting the fiddle and playing “St. Anne’s Reel.
” As Tamsin looked on, she softly clapped her hands in time, and Aisling lost herself in the music.
She’d never expected to see this instrument again, much less play it. She’d never had the heart to play another, either.
Seemed Tamsin was doing a lot to rebuild Aisling’s heart and soul, and that was something Aisling had long ago given up on as being an impossible venture.
When she finished the song, she looked up to see tears in Tamsin’s eyes, even though she was smiling.
“Did I play that horribly, pet?”
She shook her head. “No. It’s just I don’t think I’ve ever seen you smile the way you are now. You have a beautiful smile, love. You look peaceful. Contented.”
Heat filled Aisling’s cheeks and she suddenly couldn’t look Tamsin in the eyes. “I hope I can live up to the opinion you seem to have of me.”
Tamsin leaned in and kissed her, taking control of it, holding Aisling’s head in place, and it felt like the entire world stopped spinning, everything outside of this moment just… gone.
This was her world, right here. Tamsin, and little Maisie.
When Tamsin finally ended the kiss, she waited until Aisling once again looked her in the eyes.
“I wouldn’t say that I’m one to feel particularly spiritual,” Tamsin said, “but I’m also not mental enough to argue with the Goddess’ plans.
Especially when she’s brought us together.
It wasn’t the Goddess who took our loved ones from us—those were evil men.
But it comforts me to believe we have the Goddess’ blessings to feel happy because we now have each other. ”
“Perhaps yer right, pet.” She tucked a strand of Tamsin’s hair behind her ear. “Did ye decide on the weddin’ yet?”
“Yes. I’d like to have it here. Trevor and Elizabeth will fly over for it.”
“And after?”
Tamsin sighed. “I don’t know yet. This place and these people truly feel like family to me now. And Trevor assured me to make my decisions based on my feelings, not thinking about what they’d want me to do. Unless, of course, you’d prefer to have it over there for your family.”
Aisling shook her head. “I can fly ’em over what wants to come. An’ I’m livin’ wherever you want. Wherever makes ye happy.”
“But what about you?” Tamsin asked.
“Makin’ ye happy makes me happy.”
Tamsin snugged into her arms. “Did you ever think about children?” she asked.
Aisling snorted. “I love ye, but I really don’t want to get pregnant.”
‘I meant me,” she softly said. “There are still more fetuses in storage.”
Aisling’s heart nearly stopped. “I…” She swallowed hard. “That had never occurred to me,” she finally admitted.
Tamsin sat up and looked her in the eyes. “Would you be willing? The worst is over, right? Danger, I mean.”
It felt like her chest was tight, her throat constricting, her pulse pounding in her ears. “Babies?” she managed.
Tamsin slowly nodded. “Unless you don’t want—”
Aisling grabbed her and kissed her again to shut her up. Not that she didn’t want to kiss her anyway, because she did, but she needed a moment to allow her brain to restart.
She’d been in plenty of terrifying situations in her life. Death-defying in the literal sense of the word.
Survived, unscathed, events that most people wouldn’t have made it through.
But this?
This made everything else pale in comparison.
She closed her eyes and, before she could chicken out, she mumbled the word against Tamsin’s lips. “Yes.”
Tamsin let out a piercing squee and enveloped her in a strangling hug. “Thank you, love! You’ll be such an amazing mum! You’re already fantastic with Maisie and the other babies!”
Aisling held her, keeping her eyes squeezed tightly closed. Oh, boy. Goddess, if I ever needed yer help and guidance, now would be a fantastic time to make a believer outta me.