5. Chapter Five
Chapter Five
I didn’t wait for Kade. I wouldn’t wait for Kade—ever.
I ran back to the apartment, clutching what was left of my phone, sucking in shaky breaths and trying to swallow the lump in my throat, but it stuck there, sharp and jagged like the shards of plastic pressed against the skin of my palm.
It was too much.
As soon as I entered my room, I sank to the floor, knees hitting the cold hardwood, and let the tears come. Ugly, heaving sobs that clawed their way out of my chest, tearing at my already raw throat.
“Fuck,” I choked out finally, my voice breaking multiple times over the single syllable. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!”
I was alone. So fucking alone. And I didn’t know why my entire being, body and soul, acted like this was a fucking newsflash. Maybe I’d reached a new stage of grief. Maybe I’d been trapped in denial, and this was what it felt like to move out of it.
I squeezed my eyes shut.
The image of my mother’s face floated behind my eyelids—her warm brown eyes that always held a spark of mischief, her wide smile that lit up every room she entered. I would never see her again.
I tried to remember the details of one of my favorite photos, wishing I’d thoroughly committed it to memory while I could still look at it every day.
Her, sober and clean, at my high school graduation.
She'd worn that ridiculous vintage floral dress, the one she insisted was "feminine and flirty" but actually made her look like a walking bridal bouquet. But I didn’t care because she’d been there. For me.
My mom had flaws, many flaws, but she’d always been there for me.
“Hey, baby girl,” she used to say when she called me.
I tried to cling to the sound of her voice, but it was slipping away, like trying to hold water in my hands.
And her laugh. God, that laugh. How many voicemails had I saved “for blackmail” I’d told her jokingly—long before I’d ever even considered blackmail actually being a part of my future—because she sounded like a damned hyena when she found something hysterically funny.
My chest tightened. I would never make her laugh again. I would never hear her laugh again. She would never laugh again.
I felt him before I saw him—felt the sudden shift in the air.
“What the fuck?” I demanded, jerking my head up as Malcolm strode into the room like he owned it, shirtless as always and wearing some black athletic pants. “Do you mind?”
He didn’t answer. He didn’t even pause. His pale-gray eyes locked on me, sharp and furious.
“What were you doing in the dean’s office?” His words were clipped, his broad shoulders tense.
I swiped at my face, trying to pull myself together before he saw too much. “None of your business, Dracula.”
“It is when it’s about me,” he snapped, taking a step closer. His fists clenched at his sides, the veins in his neck taut. “Did you tell him about what happened last night?”
“What happened last night?” I asked sweetly, feigning innocence. “Oh, you mean about how you and Kade ménaged the trois out of me?” I wrinkled my nose. “Nah, the dean and I aren’t on that level of TMI.”
His jaw tightened, and he flashed some fang as he bared his teeth. “This isn’t funny. Did. You. Tell. Him.”
“Did I tell Dean Bennett that one of his students is a vampire?” I furrowed my brow, like I was trying to remember. “No. Do you think he’d find that interesting, though? Should I tell him?”
Malcolm rolled his eyes. “That isn’t what I’m worried about you blabbing about.”
Huh.
Malcolm just admitted he was worried.
But not about being outed as a vamp. What could possibly be a bigger secret than that?
I laughed. “Oh, you mean you don’t want me blabbing about the part where you couldn’t drain me like a juice box? Don’t worry. Your impotent little secret’s safe with me. I’m sure it happens to all vamps.”
Malcolm’s face darkened, his hands twitching at his sides like he was seconds away from losing control. In two long strides, he towered over me, grabbing my wrist and yanking me to my feet.
“You think this is a game?” he growled, his voice low and dangerous.
His grip was tight, not painful—yet—but there was something in his eyes that made my stomach flip. For a split second, I flinched, thinking he was going to hit me.
“Let go of me,” I said, keeping my voice steady.
He did—shoving me back against the bed. My breath hitched as I stumbled, catching myself before I fell.
He began pacing, dragging his hand over his buzzed dark hair while my pulse thrummed in my ears.
“You don’t get it, do you?” he demanded, and no, I really didn’t. “You ungrateful whore. I could’ve given you everything. I could’ve made you immortal.”
“So the two of us could live unhappily ever after for eternity together?” I said. “Why, yes, I should show my undying—oops, is that word insensitive?—appreciation because that sounds awesome!”
His head snapped toward me, his gray eyes almost silver, glinting like knives. “You should be groveling at my feet for what I offered you, bitch.”
“Well, I was on the floor, on my knees, in the perfect position to grovel at your feet, and you yanked me up. God, the mixed signals, Malcolm! What do you—”
“You have no idea what I’m capable of,” he said, his voice quieter now but no less menacing. “Don’t push me, Tuesday.”
“Go fuck yourself, Malcolm,” I retorted.
A slow grin took over his face. “Now why would I do that when you’ll be fucking me any time I want for the next week? I’ll need someone to fill in for Kade, after all. Tag, you’re it.”
He stared at me for a long moment, his chest rising and falling with barely restrained rage.
There was something in his eyes—something dark and unhinged—that made my skin crawl.
But there was something else, too. Something that made my body ache, my pulse quicken. I wanted him. God help me, I wanted him. Even now, even with the cold shiver running up my back and every rational part of my brain screaming at me to get as far away from him as possible, I wanted him.
I sank back onto the floor, my legs trembling, overwhelmed with too many emotions. Fear. Anger. Desire. Helplessness. Guilt.
And, of course, so very, very horny.
The weight of it all pressed down on me, heavy and suffocating.
Tears threatened again, but I swallowed them down.
Crying wouldn’t bring my mom back. It wouldn’t fix my phone or make Malcolm less…
Malcolmy. It wouldn’t change the fact that my body was going to be guarded by Tweedle Dum & Tweedle Dee Security for the foreseeable future.
Tears were useless.
But I wasn’t.
Out of nowhere, a surge of power rushed through me. A realization. I was more dangerous than Malcolm, Kade, Connor, and Xander put together. I was a woman with not a damned thing left to lose.
I absolutely would fuck him any time he beckoned, this week or the next or the next, because he had both of the things I needed: a cock and answers.
Hell, I might even give in to his offer for the all-inclusive immortality because I was going to find out everything about the Lifewell, no matter what it took, even if it took a goddamned eternity.
It’s what you wanted, Mom. I don’t know why, but I’ll do anything to make what I did up to you.