14. Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fourteen
My heart stopped. I didn’t know who I expected.
Kade, bloody and bruised. Connor, somehow having woken up while I tore down all those damn boards, anticipating exactly where I’d run and beating me here. Or Malcolm, ready to throw me up against the wall and get that fuck I owed him?
But no. It was Lena, standing there, a concerned but not surprised expression on her face. Concern that shifted instantly into relief.
“Oh my God.” She stepped out of the way and ushered me in. “Things got really bad.”
It wasn’t a question.
Her bright-blue eyes flicked over me.
Oh. I’d run here in my pajamas.
“Things got…pretty bad,” I admitted.
“You didn’t even bring your things,” she said. “You didn’t even put on shoes.”
“I’m sorry to show up in the middle of the—”
“Tuesday!” She pulled me into a hug, and shit, if I didn’t let her hug me. It felt so damn good to be touched and not fucking manhandled. “I’m so glad you came. I don’t care what time it is. I was awake anyway, studying. Are you hurt? Do we need to go to the clinic?”
I shook my head. “I just…” I yawned. “I just…”
“You need to sleep,” she said firmly. “Do you need something to eat first? Something to drink?”
I shook my head again. I just wanted to be fucking unconscious for a long while.
“I already put sheets and bedding on the bed in the extra room.” She gave me a kind smile and pointed at a room with an actual door. “It’s in there.”
“Thank you, Lena,” I managed, my throat tight.
I had to tell her because Connor might wake up, and if he did and found me gone, odds were he would know exactly where to find me. I’d been so stupid. So unbelievably stupid. I could run, but I couldn’t hide.
“So, um, Connor knows where you live.” I winced and briefly squeezed my eyes shut.
“I told you. I’m not afraid of him.” Shrugging, she walked back to the door and locked the deadbolt. “But I have a taser and a baseball bat, just in case.”
Not gonna lie—the image of her tasing the shit out of Connor didn’t make me unhappy.
“You go sleep,” she said. “I’m pulling an all-nighter anyway. If anyone else shows up here, I’ll call campus police first and ask questions later.”
That might work for tonight, but it wasn’t a long-term solution. In the morning, I’d have to figure it out, but for now?
Sleep.
The bed in the unused room of Lena’s suite was, in fact, probably not the most comfortable bed to ever exist, but as soon as I sprawled horizontally on that mattress—that glorious, glorious mattress—with my head on that pillow—that heavenly, heavenly pillow—sleep found me.
Found me and pulled me in so fucking deep.
I woke up once. I could’ve sworn I heard banging. But I couldn’t even open my eyes before sleep yanked me back under.
Then, when I did finally open my eyes, sunlight blinded me through a window that hadn’t been boarded up.
Morning. A new day.
But not a fresh start. Not yet.
Just because Connor hadn’t come after me yet didn’t mean he wouldn’t. For whatever reason, he was hellbent on keeping me trapped in his apartment like a fucking canary.
Unless my next move was to leave campus—and I wasn’t doing that, not until I got what I’d come here for—there was only one person who could make Connor stand down.
I had to get to Dean Bennett and convince him that my current living situation was not going to work. Period.
The door to Lena’s room was closed, and I didn’t want to disturb her to ask if I could borrow an outfit, but I also didn’t want to go traipsing across campus in broad daylight in the camisole and short shorts I’d slept in.
That left me with a choice—I could go through her clothes hamper I spied in the bathroom and pick out something that didn’t look too dirty to wear. But I didn’t want her deciding she didn’t want me as a roommate before I got the official go-ahead to be one.
So. Going to the admin building in my camisole and short shorts it was!
Maybe me showing up half naked would tell him—as it had Lena—how dire the situation had gotten and how I could not stay in that fucking apartment for one more second.
Before I left, I splashed some water on my face. I then used a dollop of Lena’s toothpaste on my finger to brush my teeth. Hopefully she wouldn’t mind that.
Then I went into the living room. My stomach growled, and I glanced at her refrigerator in the adjoining kitchen. Other than the cereal, I hadn’t had anything to eat the day before. Damn, that seemed like a lifetime ago. Had it just been yesterday?
Would she mind if I helped myself to a yogurt or something?
Then I saw it, folded on the small sofa. A skirt and a top underneath a piece of notebook paper.
Roomie! My jeans would be way too short for you, but we’re roughly the same size. Can’t have you going out nakey!
– L
P.S. Grab some shoes if any fit!
I smiled and clutched the paper to my chest.
Lena was going to make a much better roommate than Connor, Kade, and Malcolm.
Though I would miss the dick…
Not the time, I chastised myself.
I got dressed—thankfully a pair of her sandals worked on my bigger-than-hers feet—and headed out.
The sun felt wrong.
That was my first thought as I stepped out of Kingston Hall and crossed the bustling campus. It shouldn’t be so bright, so warm. Not after last night. Not after everything. My body was still tense from barely escaping, from waiting for the inevitable snap of a trap I hadn’t even seen yet.
I kept my head down, shoulders hunched. If Connor—or Malcolm or Kade… Fuck, I hoped he was okay—was looking for me, I didn’t want to make it easy. Every sound made me flinch. Every shadow stretched too long, twisting into something unnatural.
All I had to do was get to the admin building. Get to the dean. Make him understand… Make him…
“Fuck it all to hell!” I swore, stopping short and closing my eyes.
Damn, damn, damn.
I’d totally forgotten, but now Malcolm’s words came back at me like a sucker punch: Besides, the Dean-o’s off campus for the rest of the week.
I shook my head, regrouped, and decided to stay the course.
If I had to wrestle her to the floor and tickle it out of her, I’d get Xander’s phone number from Ms. Tissdale.
Then I’d make her, you know, let me use her phone to call him.
I could make an impassioned plea to him over the phone.
I couldn’t use the traditional method of fellatio to make him bend to my will, but I’d make it work.
I had to make it work. Make him understand that this wasn’t just a frivolous request.
Connor was a fucking psycho. They all were.
Only when I reached the front steps did I hesitate.
What if Xander wouldn’t listen? What if he sent me back and I couldn’t find a way out this time?
I swallowed hard and pushed inside.
The cool air of the admin building sent a shiver over my skin. I moved quickly down the hall, past the looming portraits of brooding alumni, and into the reception area.
Which was fucking empty.
“You have got to be kidding me. The one time I need Tissdale, she abandons her post?”
I pressed my lips together. What to do… What to do…
Then I heard it.
A voice, low and seething, coming from behind Xander’s office door.
Quietly, but quickly, I tiptoed over.
The voice belonged to Xander.
My pulse went wild. He was here. He was here. Everything would be okay. He was here.
Fellatio was totally back on the table, and I would fucking get what I—
“Find her now!” Xander roared. “Find her and get her ass back in that apartment!”
No.
I took a few steps back.
No, no, no.
“…the only place she’d be. She wasn’t there…” Connor.
“Did you go in and search?” Xander.
“She probably left campus.” Malcolm.
Oh, excellent. It sounded like almost the whole crew was here.
“Well, that’s not fucking acceptable, is it?” Xander shouted, his volume making me jump.
“She has nowhere to go,” Connor said. “No money. None of her things. She’s still here somewhere. We just have to—”
“If something happens to her…” Xander’s voice faded into silence.
I pressed my back against the wall, my heart pounding. Why did the dean sound more desperate than angry?
What the fuck was going on?
Every shred of common sense I had left shrieked at me to turn and run as fast and as far as I could.
But if there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s ignoring common sense.
I could still leave. Right now. I had no money and nowhere to go, but…I could go. I’d figure it out. I could turn and sprint the way I’d come, slip back through the cracks of this cursed school, and disappear into the shadows before they ever knew I was here.
But I didn’t.
I couldn’t.
Find out everything you can about the Lifewell, Mom’s note had read. Do whatever it takes. Don’t trust anyone.
I swallowed hard, my fingers trembling as I reached for the doorknob. Before I could change my mind, I shoved the door open.
Everyone in the room froze.
Xander, standing behind his desk, eyes blazing with fury.
Connor, lounging in the chair across from him, his body tensed, his knuckles white against the armrest.
Malcolm, standing by the window that looked out on the hallway, as if he’d been glancing out just to see if I appeared.
“Where the fuck have you been?” Connor demanded, but Xander didn’t give me time to answer.
Before I could react, he crossed toward me and pulled me into a bear hug.
“Uh…”
As quickly as he’d embraced me, he pushed me away.
“Are you all right?” He held me at arm’s length. “Are you hurt?” Without waiting for me to answer, he said, “Malcolm, you may go.”
Malcolm gave a quick nod, but on his way out, he mouthed something at me. Probably either calling me a slut or wondering if our deal was still on.
“Sit,” Xander said through his teeth, the second the door closed behind Malcolm.
Thoroughly confused but still hellbent on getting what I wanted, I shuffled over and sank down next to Connor.
“Sleep well, creeper?” I asked.
“Fuck off,” he growled.
“Enough!”
I didn’t know if one word could be considered an outburst, but that one word from Xander definitely came close.
“Both of you. Jesus fucking Christ.” He strode back and forth a couple times before leaning against his desk, mussing his dark hair as he forked his fingers through it.
Then he stopped and jabbed a finger at me, his electric eyes flashing.
“You told me your mother was on a cruise with her boyfriend. And don’t even think about lying now. ”
“I—”
“I said don’t think about lying!”
Connor and I both flinched.
“She’s dead, Geulia. She’s dead.”
“I know,” I whispered.
He nodded. “I suspected as much.” Then his tone softened. “Why on earth didn’t you tell me?”
The air itself seemed to thicken around us, pressing into my head, compressing my thoughts somehow.
I shifted, tried to shake it off, but the sensation grew stronger.
I’d felt this way before. Here, in Xander’s office. Like I should let down my walls and tell the truth.
But I’d resisted.
I didn’t have it in me this time, though.
So I opened my mouth and said, “I didn’t tell you Mom was dead because…I killed her.”