17. The Test Drive
The Test Drive
If blessings came in threes, Trinity was about to find their new cupholders overflowing, with enough trunk space for whatever weird, wild or wonderful thing came next. Spoiler: it might just be Japheth.
Rino Ferrari’s dealerships sat at the edge of Greater Napanee like a chrome cathedral, a low glass nave with fluorescent scripture in block letters: FERRARI (not that one) FAMILY MOTORS, reflecting a parking lot congregation of Kia Rios and Dodge and Chrysler Everythings.
Wind lifted the strings of colourful pennants in perennial promotion and motion.
They flapped in a clatter of tongues that was universal in its message–buy a car.
Inside, the showroom gleamed. Cars stood on turntables like large obedient dogs at a grooming competition, rotating slowly under halogen lights, while a looped DVD of happy customers handshaking with Leonardo Ferrari played on a boxy television in the corner.
Rino Ferrari emerged from his glass-walled office with shoulders squared, cufflinks winking, and in a navy suit and silk tie in a glossy cherry red.
He stood waiting for them, looking every bit as polished and smooth as the shiny cars parked behind him.
“What do we think?” he grinned, leaning against a metallic grey Kia Rio. “Your prize. You really earned it.”
Japheth could hardly contain his excitement.
The car–no, the cars!–sparkled in the light.
They weren’t just status symbols for Trinity, they represented the countless hours spent at the radio station, in the office, in Rebekkah’s basement rehearsing, in Ronald’s backyard building a dreamboat, and in a relentless pursuit of truth however uncomfortable it can sometimes be. This was their reward.
Rebekkah couldn’t help herself and dashed over to the car she had been dreaming about. She ran her hand over the smooth finish. “This is what happy endings feel like.”
“It’s one of the ways, yeah,” Ronald teased, walking over and admiring the vehicle. “You look like the kind of person who could own a car like this. You’ve got the attitude, you’ve got the confidence, you look like you could parallel park without breaking a sweat.”
“Been doing it in the church parking lot for years,” Rebekkah grinned.
“You’re serious Rino? After everything that’s happened at the station. We understand if things have changed,” Japheth wavered. “It’s a huge gesture but if there’s any risk to you or your family, based on everything that’s happened, we don’t want to accept the cars.”
Rino’s eyes shifted to Japheth and his smile softened a bit.
He reached into his pocket and held out three key fobs with leather tags embossed with their names.
“A prize is a prize. And a sponsor is a sponsor. Ferrari Family Motors has been WWJD’s only consistent advertiser for years.
We’ve bought weather spots, sponsored farm reports, and late-night PSAs about moose crossings.
We paid for your ugly tote bags,” he glanced up.
“No offence, but they were hideous. Why WWJD has stayed so loyal to teal and purple all these years is beyond me. But before we get to the cars, let me show you something.”
He led them into his office and gestured to a stack of blue binders arranged neatly on the credenza.
“Those are printouts of our ledgers. Advertising purchases, promotional stipends, and advance payments for future airtime. Everything is above board. Anyone who wants to see, can see. There’s nothing to hide in our books.
If there’s a ten-dollar discrepancy, you can name our first child. ”
Ronald shot Japheth a look and whispered, “Did you?”
Japheth shook his head and his cheeks coloured immediately.
“Look,” Rino went on, softer, “I know what this town thinks when it hears my family’s name.
They imagine us like the Corleones. We’re simple people.
We sell cars. We go to church. We talk loudly and dress better than most. We listen to the radio at the shop and argue about the Leafs as if it’s a religion. That’s it.”
“It is a religion,” Ronald said.
Japheth cleared his throat, bashful and brave at once, “I’ve said some things to my friends.
Assumed some things. Feared some things.
About you. About your family. I wish you hadn’t needed to work so hard to get me to believe you but I’m glad you did.
I made some misjudgments along the way and I’m sorry. ”
Rino paused as if someone had placed a fragile object in his hands and asked him not to drop it. “Apology accepted,” he said, warmly.
“When are you two having that baby?” Ronald asked. “I have a few names in mind, even if the accounting is all Kiff Kiff. Ronald, Ron, Ronnie. You could even get wild and go with Ronaldo. All winners.”
“Or Rinaldo. That’s the way we’d say it in Italiano. I’ll put it on the list my friend,” Rino bit his lower lip and tried to suppress a smile. He leaned forward, “Now, the fire. Tell me everything.”
They told him about the popcorn, about Emma-Lou’s admissions, and how this wasn’t the end of Trinity or the radio station, that they were planning on rebuilding and rebranding.
He listened thoughtfully and nodded, looking from face to face to face as if assessing their resolve.
Finally, once the tale had been told, and questions asked and answered, Rino stood up from his desk and offered, “If you need office space, or rehearsal space, if you need a fax machine, or a phone, if you need snacks and coffee–please make my dealership your home away from home, for as long as you need. We have a few empty rooms upstairs you can use, whenever you need and for as long as you need until you’re back on your feet. ”
“Mr. Ferrari,” Ronald said, “why are you doing this? The cars, the space, the sanctuary?” He glanced at Rebekkah to confirm he’d used the word correctly and she nodded. “We’re a mess right now, are you sure you want to get in bed with us? Business bed I mean?”
Rino considered, his eyes softening with affection and a dose of pragmatism, “It’s good business to invest in what a town needs.
I like hearing your voices between farm reports and traffic.
People come to pick up their cars, and I hear them talking about your show with excitement, or awe, or amusement.
Often with respect that you dare to say the things you say.
I hear them humming your songs and getting the words wrong, but then you do, too.
If the town laughs, it’s in a good mood.
When people are in a good mood, they buy cars.
So, I’m really just being selfish. And because…
” He looked at Japheth again, directly, deliberately, “sometimes you need to support what you want to keep seeing.”
Japheth swallowed.
Rebekkah clapped her hands, “Thank you! Thank you! Next steps? We figure out how to keep broadcasting. We… don’t have a station, technically.”
“We have The Ark,” Ronald said, practically painting the words in the air and beaming with the potential of a partnership.
He turned up his charm to the level of smooth and suave car salesperson.
“It’s in my backyard on stilts. She needs a few finishing nails, a couple coats of marine varnish, and to outfit her with some broadcasting equipment that Emma-Lou salvaged for us. ”
Rino perked up and leaned in, his business brain buzzing, “If you relaunch on the water, what do you call yourselves? WWJD feels like a brand that’s wearing a bit of soot on its face right now. Maybe something fresh?”
“I was thinking KISS,” Ronald said shyly and then extrapolated when he caught a questioning look from Rino.
“Keep It Simple Stupid. We’re already going to leave a lasting impact just by doing things differently–our cover songs, our banter, our friendship, being authentically who we are.
I say we carry that through the brand and keep the name short and sweet and easy to repeat.
96.5 FM THE ARK. Pirate radio with parrr-ables.
” He really leaned into the ARRR and squinted like he was wearing an eyepatch and then immediately wished he hadn’t gone for such a hard sell.
“I love it. I’d listen,” Rino said, nodding his head in approval.
And then, proving that business and romance can be good bedfellows, added, “I have a boat launch at the river. It’s private.
You can use my trailer to transport it. If you’re not comfortable driving a pick-up with a trailer, I can back it up and get you wet…
” He flushed and tried to avoid eye contact with anyone, especially Japheth, before stammering, “The boat! Sorry, I meant the boat.”
Japheth made a whimpering sound that thankfully only dogs could hear.
“Let me make sure everything has been taken care of legally with Weinus, Weinus Rino loosened his tie; Japheth adjusted his vinyl pants which had been sticking to his legs and both men distracted themselves by turning their affection toward transport.
Rino swept an arm toward the Kia Rios, “Ready to take them for a spin?”
The meeting ended and they spilled out into the shiny floored showroom. Trinity pressed their key fobs and the cars chirped obediently, signalling each new owner of its location.